tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post1564047335561754873..comments2024-01-26T08:04:08.517-05:00Comments on The Public Query Slushpile: Query- DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE!Rick Daleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-67255000159217181942009-03-16T14:24:00.000-04:002009-03-16T14:24:00.000-04:00Thanks everyone! I'll let you all know how I make...Thanks everyone! I'll let you all know how I make out.Niki Schoenfeldthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13732768791387582546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-37183348978893471832009-03-15T17:32:00.000-04:002009-03-15T17:32:00.000-04:00I agree with storyqueen and whoever. The first par...I agree with storyqueen and whoever.<BR/> The first paragraph is fun but it doesn't really need to be in the query letter.<BR/> The second paragraph is terrific.Janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14626166970649800247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-29141312300316812472009-03-15T09:37:00.000-04:002009-03-15T09:37:00.000-04:00I think the first paragraph should go. The rest o...I think the first paragraph should go. <BR/><BR/>The rest of your query makes your book sound fun and interesting though!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-83092985693018570552009-03-14T19:46:00.000-04:002009-03-14T19:46:00.000-04:00It is an adorable idea....I can picture it in my h...It is an adorable idea....I can picture it in my head. However, I think you can completely lose the first paragraph. Just open with the second.....see how crisp it reads this way?<BR/><BR/>Good Luck! <BR/><BR/>(And there is hope...three of my books were plucked from slushpiles!)<BR/><BR/>Shelley<BR/>(the Storyqueen)storyqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07039684494823420722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-53287647861773073332009-03-14T19:01:00.000-04:002009-03-14T19:01:00.000-04:00I think this sounds like a fun one to read to the ...I think this sounds like a fun one to read to the kids!<BR/><BR/>I understand what you are trying to get across in the first paragraph, but it's a bit long, try to get the same message through with 1/2 the word count, so you can get to the story itself.<BR/><BR/>Many of the agencies I've looked at for my picture book allow you to include the manuscript with the query.<BR/><BR/>I would strike the "I look forward to hearing from you soon."Rick Daleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.com