tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post1613980092284460241..comments2024-01-26T08:04:08.517-05:00Comments on The Public Query Slushpile: Query- To Catch a Rainbow ButterflyRick Daleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-56583999878992768402010-04-10T22:18:18.743-04:002010-04-10T22:18:18.743-04:00Thanks for the advice!
The open/closed door thing...Thanks for the advice!<br /><br />The open/closed door thing is too hard to explain in a query so I think I'm just going to cut it.Natty Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06306237582005336118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-89027845954684423292010-04-03T18:04:14.826-04:002010-04-03T18:04:14.826-04:00In paragraph 2 I would write out 20. The sentence ...In paragraph 2 I would write out 20. The sentence "Open doors lead her to new places while closed doors are off limits." didn't work for me. It seems like stating the obvious, and is really too vague. Weather seems like a weird concern in a comma. What is the connection between the coma patients? You don't really want to keep secrets secret in a query. And perhaps not end with a question. <br /><br />In paragraph 3 I agree with SJDuvall about dropping the sentence "As a writer..." <br /><br />In paragraph 4 I would also drop the first sentence. I think it can be safely assumed you are ready to send the manuscript or you wouldn't (shouldn't) be querying. <br /><br />Also, I have heard it is proper query-format to capitalize the title of the novel. <br /><br />Otherwise I think this gives a good sense of what the novel is about and it seems to flow nicely. It sounds like a really intriguing idea.Emily Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09771345161030707976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-3330509573160320342010-04-01T22:04:10.545-04:002010-04-01T22:04:10.545-04:00Nice, precise query. I would leave out the line &q...Nice, precise query. I would leave out the line "As a writer, it is my ultimate goal to entertain my audience while teaching valuable lessons about life and what it means to be human." But besides that, looks good to me.SJDuvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10598176076288051750noreply@blogger.com