tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post4618977426581391120..comments2024-01-26T08:04:08.517-05:00Comments on The Public Query Slushpile: QUERY- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCERick Daleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-68288345777594361112011-03-01T11:55:41.922-05:002011-03-01T11:55:41.922-05:00Anon and Michael- thanks for the comments-
1- go...Anon and Michael- thanks for the comments- <br /><br />1- good point on rhetorical question, I took that out for 1st revision- I have always heard that a rhetorical question is a good way to pitch a book in one line- but I guess not in a query<br /><br />2- I have read most of Janet Reid's blog and you are right there is great content there<br /><br />3- This is my big question for anyone- I would think that simply stating that your manuscript is part of a series- this would appeal to any agent- yes the work being queried MUST stand on its own- but if it does- would not an agent like a series, knowing that this may lead to multiple books/ multiple sales? I appreciate any input on this topic<br /><br />Again thanks for your comments- they are a big help!Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05012319566799058050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-11766998284921900532011-02-16T09:13:25.270-05:002011-02-16T09:13:25.270-05:00Interesting plot line. I have a couple of suggesti...Interesting plot line. I have a couple of suggestions. First, go to Janet Reid's blog and read the materials she has on query letters. It's a wealth of wisdom.<br /><br />Everything I've read or heard from agents says don't start with a question. Your hook should draw them into the action. Change the hook and merge it with the storyline. <br /><br />You have 300 words, 134 of which are not about the story, soi I'd suggest cutting back on the non-story related material. Put the genre & wordcount after the story. Delete the information about a series. They're going to judge you on this work, so focus on it.<br /><br />As to the story, I'm not sure houw Jessica enters in or why Jack would use a lawyer to pursue terrorists. You can probably clean up your language too. "Got even more angry" could be "got angrier." You've got some typo, i.e. when when and I'd cut out the adverbs.<br /><br />Your credentials relate nicely to the storyline, but again, keep them short. I would say something like, "I work in the security products industry." I would infer from that that there's some good technical information in the novel.<br /><br />Hope that helps.D. Michael Olivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00992346567229595578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-69916527971200416162011-02-16T09:10:43.050-05:002011-02-16T09:10:43.050-05:00313 words. You want 250, almost all of them descri...313 words. You want 250, almost all of them describing your plot. Four and a half paragraphs in, you're still on a truck driver backing into the protag's BMW. Then you sketch in the plot in a paragraph and a half and spend a paragraph on your bio.<br /><br />Read through the blogs that Rick links to. Spend some time on it. Among other things, you'll see that many agents simply loathe queries that start with a rhetorical question. (I don't agree with them necessarily, but I'm not an agent.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com