tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post6120430000053976333..comments2024-01-26T08:04:08.517-05:00Comments on The Public Query Slushpile: THE GRACES OF MERCY & CIRCUMSTANCE - REVISION #1Rick Daleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-91514553707872248332009-05-01T14:42:00.000-04:002009-05-01T14:42:00.000-04:00Awesome news! Thanks for letting us know, and bes...Awesome news! Thanks for letting us know, and best of luck to you ;-)Rick Daleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-80947079401482600642009-05-01T14:25:00.000-04:002009-05-01T14:25:00.000-04:00Well, the day after sending a handful of queries, ...Well, the day after sending a handful of queries, I got a request for the whole manuscript. Mind you, I got the same thing when I sent the pre-revisionary letter out in February, too. So, we'll see. As I've often thought, it's one thing to have a great query letter; it's an entirely different matter to have a marvelous manuscript...<br /><br />Still, fingers are crossed. I'll post updates on my blog.<br /><br />Thanks again, everyone!Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07284480008194612437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-62848480210818889472009-04-28T00:11:00.000-04:002009-04-28T00:11:00.000-04:00Absolutely I will! Once I tighten it up some more...Absolutely I will! Once I tighten it up some more (thanks to everyone's great advice & encouragement), I'll send it out. I'm quite curious if the response rate will be any different than the 20 I've already sent with the earlier version...<br /><br />Thanks again!Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07284480008194612437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-452926889643365342009-04-27T23:27:00.000-04:002009-04-27T23:27:00.000-04:00My thoughts are pretty much identical to folksinmt...My thoughts are pretty much identical to folksinmt's comments. I think you'll have a good, tight query if you follow her advice and suspect you'll get a lot of hits. <br /><br />Will you let us know how it goes?hope101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-49380612185418426392009-04-27T18:42:00.000-04:002009-04-27T18:42:00.000-04:00Great revision! And so quick, too!
I loved the fir...Great revision! And so quick, too!<br />I loved the first two paragraphs...I was absolutely hooked! <br /><br />But then it got to lengthy. I'd stop after "could ever have imagined" and skip all the rest. You have the agent's attention by now and they are going to ask for more...so why not just let them read the ms? <br /><br />When you are describing your qualifications, I think less is more. Just say you wrote professionally in the legal industry and you have a degree. That's all they need to know.<br /><br />Good job!Lori Folkmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12707165102926821045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-51674293950336137472009-04-27T09:16:00.000-04:002009-04-27T09:16:00.000-04:00I think it's still a bit wordy for a query let...I think it's still a bit wordy for a query letter. For a one-page synopsis, which some agents want, you're doing well. ;) I have a lot better sense of what happens in the book. For a one-page query, you don't need too much detail. Just a few concrete lines about the action should suffice. Maybe others will tell you differently; I'd get a lot of opinions & take from them what you need.<br /><br />I would suggest something more like this:<br /><br />===<br /><br />"Girls' night out" takes on new meaning when three thirty-something mothers turn to vigilanteism to escape the pain of their lives.<br /><br />Childhood friends Karin, Alaina and Trisha struggle with guilt and grief until they commit an act of vigilantism against a complete stranger. Their so-called “perfect plan” goes awry during execution and they become suspects in the murder of a police informant. Swept up in their newfound collective sense of power and control, (a line about how it ends or the climax, generally, like "the women find their friendship strengthened/strained" etc.)<br /><br />THE GRACES OF MERCY & CIRCUMSTANCE, complete at 83,000 words, is commercial women's fiction set in the small towns of British Columbia. I have a B.A. in English from (University) and have worked as (insert relevant job title here). I may be contacted at (Contact info)<br /><br />Thank you for you consideration.<br /><br />===<br /><br />I think you've got a good handle on what you need here & I think your story is intriguing. Best of luck with your queries :)<br /><br />(deleted my previous comment b/c of typos)Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18127448645515191294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-20202180964868891782009-04-27T09:15:00.000-04:002009-04-27T09:15:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18127448645515191294noreply@blogger.com