Jan 24, 2011

QUERY: Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance

Dear [Agent],

An ancient Wizard has a vision, of war and death. A titanic clash between Centaur Steel and Nephilim shield swords. High above the planet space ships clash, the wounded and dead falling back to the surface in flames. But there is more to this war than the knights of Aztlan and the gray Nephilim aliens. The shape shifting monsters of Neila attack the flanks of the armies, while soldiers and tanks bearing the flags of our world lead the charge. Under the heels of these four armies run crimson rivers of blood and the tears of survival.

Now the wizard must unite two human worlds together to stand against a powerful alien foe.
The world's only hope of survival are the seven Pantheons of Light and Destruction, ancient temples long forgotten in the sands of time. United together they hold unlimited power, but the Nephilim have a head start, all that stands between them and victory is a US Marine Captain and a Warrior Prince.

Humanity faces destruction. Out gunned and out manned its fate seems sealed, but humanity has one advantage. It excels at war.

Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance is a complete Science Fiction / Epic Fantasy Novel at 140,000 words, with a complete blend of swords, sorcery, castle sieges, space battles, and modern warfare. This is my first attempt at publication.

Thank you for your time and consideration,


Anonymous said...

No characters?

Stephanie Lorée said...

Hello! I'm going to be blunt with you: this isn't a query. This is a setting description. A query consists of 1) character and 2) conflict.

Begin your query by talking about your character: Ex: John Smith is an ancient, cantankerous Wizard.

Then go into how your character (the main protagonist) gets caught up in the conflict (the story). Ex: When John perceives a vision of war in his viewing glass, he must unite the humans of Centaur Steel and Nephilim against the shape-shifting aliens of Neila.

Then talk about what your character does in pursuit of his goal. Your focus needs to be on the story. All this setting stuff is fun, but unless a reader can attach to a character's battle, the coolest setting won't matter.

Please visit Janet Reid's Query Shark blog to learn more about queries. Check out all of the links ---> here for massive information about how to compose a query.

Best of luck!

Scribbler to Scribe

Joshua A said...

Thanks for your input! I have revised and resubmitted focusing on the characters instead of the setting.