tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post329687024365656198..comments2024-01-26T08:04:08.517-05:00Comments on The Public Query Slushpile: QUERY- WIND FURY (Formerly UNTITLED)Rick Daleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-89058304253736569942009-07-24T17:57:30.262-04:002009-07-24T17:57:30.262-04:00LT,
No worries. I updated the title to the post...LT, <br /><br />No worries. I updated the title to the post.Rick Daleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-21898175591553666922009-07-24T15:47:08.733-04:002009-07-24T15:47:08.733-04:00Thanks, Rick...
Re: your most recent post. If it ...Thanks, Rick...<br /><br />Re: your most recent post. If it would make things easier, can you edit the title of my query to WIND FURY? That's my working title. Sorry to have caused confusion.<br /><br />Thanks again :)L. T. Hosthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12448176940211118898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-36234717017486686242009-07-24T14:59:44.658-04:002009-07-24T14:59:44.658-04:00L.T.,
In your query you should show as much of t...L.T., <br /><br />In your query you should show as much of the story as it makes sense to show. I probably hit the peak of vagueness there, but that's the only way to say it. Don't play things close to the vest as a strategy. Agents deserve to see your hand, because they are going to make the bet that they can sell you to an editor. If you leave things out because you are able to convey the essence of your story without them, that's fine for the query.<br /><br />The synopsis, however, should not leave anything out. Twists, subplots, etc. should be revealed.Rick Daleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05173516899130463413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-4259362880652591102009-07-24T14:01:09.142-04:002009-07-24T14:01:09.142-04:00Thanks everyone, I appreciate it. (This is mine.) ...Thanks everyone, I appreciate it. (This is mine.) <br /><br />Matt: The other immortals are *very* important in the story. I've been struggling a lot between what information to include in the query and what to leave out, guess I didn't make it clear enough or missed the mark. <br /><br />folksinmt: I have a working title, but it's really old, and I haven't thought about it in a long time. I decided to submit without it because I didn't want to cloud the query since I'm not even sure if I'm keeping it or not. Mostly just trying to get a feel for my query in general, am still revising the manuscript :)<br /><br />froggfeathers: That formula helps a lot. I'll try again with that.<br /><br />General question: What level of suspense should I shoot for in the query? I know in the synopsis you're supposed to explain everything, but can you play things close to the vest in a query? Or should I just out and out spill it? <br /><br />Thanks again, everyone. I do appreciate it.L. T. Hosthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12448176940211118898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-40488615093918334522009-07-24T13:39:41.210-04:002009-07-24T13:39:41.210-04:00I feel your untitled pain, btw.
IMO, your query w...I feel your untitled pain, btw.<br /><br />IMO, your query wanders a bit. Hone it down to the key points. Main character, antagonist, catalyst event, conflict, goal and loss. <br /><br />You tell us about North Wind, your protag and in doing so we get a feel for the book. That is good. It could be shorter, though.<br /><br />We then find out about Armin, but not who he is or why we will care about him. No one wants to read a love story that is the *happily-ever-after*. We want to read how they got there.<br /><br />Next, we hear about the conflict without actually getting any information. Someone is out to get her? Someone who? Why?<br /><br />My suggestion is to go back and follow the pattern: protag, antag, catalyst, conflict, goal and loss. It will help keep all of the extraneous stuff out of your query. You can save all of those sidebars for the book itself.<br /><br />Hope it helped. By the way, I like the idea of the North Wind being the main character.froggfeathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07291878952350118723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-37062510318240721982009-07-24T01:05:53.458-04:002009-07-24T01:05:53.458-04:00First off, I have to say--in jest--no title? Nothi...First off, I have to say--in jest--no title? Nothing? A 110,000 word book takes quite a while...maybe over a year. Could you imagine having a one-year old child without a name? Give that poor baby a name already!<br /><br />I think your query is a bit too wordy. Your descriptions probably work in the novel, but there isn't time for that in the query. Jump right in to the conflict. Really focus on what makes your novel different from the rest. <br /><br />Good luck!Lori Folkmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12707165102926821045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1588509537601105804.post-55414855096072152982009-07-23T23:46:20.853-04:002009-07-23T23:46:20.853-04:00I'm not tremendously clear on the conflict her...I'm not tremendously clear on the conflict here. How does the North Wind figure out that someone's out to get her and Armin? I know it's tied to the game, but how can this unnamed game turn deadly enough to possibly kill someone? <br /><br />Also, I think you can easily trim bits from this. For example:<br /><br />"The North Wind has blown upon the Earth for eons, returning home to an icy palace where she lives alone. Until the day a mortal man, Armin, appears at her door asking for help."<br /><br />We don't need to hear about the other immortals at all in the context of this query. They're not important to the main thrust of the tale -- only North and Armin are.Matthew Delmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11452378192874048547noreply@blogger.com