Click here to read the original query and sample pages.
Click here to read the first revision.
I am seeking representation for my novel STORY FOR A SHIPWRIGHT, a work of commercial fiction complete at 82,000 words.
Family dysfunction and responsibilities weigh on shipwright and aspiring novelist Samuel Wesley; he has no time for himself, let alone naïve Marlena, hired to stay on at his mother’s bed & breakfast. A story within a story develops when she reveals a tale of a captain’s shipwreck, a pregnant woman’s survival on an uninhabited island and a girl’s rescue. Her farfetched stories leave Samuel wondering if they are merely the imaginings of a delusional girl—what he does not realize is that her stories are autobiographical, holding the key to his family’s ancestry, and will launch him into recollections of his own repressed memories.
If he risks pursuing her, he must compete with his womanizing friend, and confront suspicions over her motives, while keeping his own emotional fallout at bay. If he does not, he could miss out on an extraordinary woman and becoming part of her incredible story.
Marlena and Samuel, through their own unique perceptions, help each other find the home and love we are all looking for.
Thank you for your consideration.
May 15, 2009
Query- Story for a Shipwright (Revision 1)
Click here to read the original query and sample pages.
I am seeking representation for my novel STORY FOR A SHIPWRIGHT, a work of commercial fiction complete at 82,000 words.
Family dysfunction and responsibilities weigh on Samuel Wesley; he has no time for himself, let alone naïve Marlena, hired to stay on at his mother’s bed & breakfast. A story within a story develops when she reveals a tale of shipwreck and survival. Her farfetched stories leave Samuel wondering if they are merely the imaginings of a delusional girl—he cannot possibly know she holds the key to his family’s past; that she will launch him into recollections of his own repressed memories.
Samuel’s intrigue grows, and so do his feelings for Marlena. Now he must compete with his womanizing best friend, and quell his psychiatrist brother’s suspicions over her motives, while keeping his own emotional fallout at bay.
If he pursues the relationship, he risks yet another failed romance, and complicates his already thorny life. Yet if he does not see it through, he will miss out on the most extraordinary woman, and incredible story he could ever imagine.
Marlena and Samuel, through their own unique perceptions, help each other find the home and love we are all looking for. This character driven exploration, of our needs versus wants in a world where ordinary converges with extraordinary, resonates with all who have been at the crossroads of personal and familial reconciliation and discovery.
Thank you for your consideration.
I am seeking representation for my novel STORY FOR A SHIPWRIGHT, a work of commercial fiction complete at 82,000 words.
Family dysfunction and responsibilities weigh on Samuel Wesley; he has no time for himself, let alone naïve Marlena, hired to stay on at his mother’s bed & breakfast. A story within a story develops when she reveals a tale of shipwreck and survival. Her farfetched stories leave Samuel wondering if they are merely the imaginings of a delusional girl—he cannot possibly know she holds the key to his family’s past; that she will launch him into recollections of his own repressed memories.
Samuel’s intrigue grows, and so do his feelings for Marlena. Now he must compete with his womanizing best friend, and quell his psychiatrist brother’s suspicions over her motives, while keeping his own emotional fallout at bay.
If he pursues the relationship, he risks yet another failed romance, and complicates his already thorny life. Yet if he does not see it through, he will miss out on the most extraordinary woman, and incredible story he could ever imagine.
Marlena and Samuel, through their own unique perceptions, help each other find the home and love we are all looking for. This character driven exploration, of our needs versus wants in a world where ordinary converges with extraordinary, resonates with all who have been at the crossroads of personal and familial reconciliation and discovery.
Thank you for your consideration.
Query- Story for a Shipwright
A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.
Click here to read the most recent revision.
I am seeking representation for Story for a Shipwright, a General Fiction novel with romantic undercurrents of 82,000 words.
Shipwreck is more than a metaphor, when a peculiar waif, harboring a century old secret, drifts into the stagnating life of a Maine shipwright.
Family dysfunction and responsibilities weigh on Samuel Wesley; he has no time for himself, let alone naïve Marlena, hired to stay on at his mother’s bed & breakfast. A story within a story develops when she reveals a tale of shipwreck and survival. Her farfetched stories leave Samuel wondering if they are merely the imaginings of a delusional girl—he cannot possibly know she holds the key to his family’s past; that she will launch him into recollections of his own repressed memories.
Samuel’s intrigue grows, and so do his feelings for Marlena. Now he must compete with his womanizing best friend, and quell his psychiatrist brother’s suspicions over her motives, while keeping his own emotional fallout at bay.
If he pursues the relationship, he risks yet another failed romance, and complicates his already thorny life. Yet if he does not see it through, he will miss out on the most extraordinary woman, and incredible story he could ever imagine.
Marlena and Samuel, through their own unique perceptions, help each other find the home and love we are all looking for. This character driven exploration, of our needs versus wants in a world where ordinary converges with extraordinary, resonates with all who have been at the crossroads of personal and familial reconciliation and discovery.
Thank you for your consideration.
First 4 Pages:
The faintest odor of diesel lingered in the salt air as I hurried from our bed-and-breakfast, across the dooryard toward the boathouse, just as I do every morning. Coffee in my mug warmed my hands; it’s aroma mingled with every breath, carried by the late frost congealing mud beneath my feet. As I stepped into a rut, rupturing a skin of ice, water splashed up and into my boot, and by the time I reached my destination, I felt damp and chilled from the drizzling rain.
To me, the air smelled like spring. Heavy, like mud. In the shop, it seemed to suspend everything—fine dust and particles, even time. When I’m working, I tend to lose track that way, and I can’t say for sure how long I had been running my sander—it could have been hours or perhaps only minutes—when I noticed an intruder. At first, I thought it might be my hired guy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t; unless he had taken up wearing skirts.
I doubt I would have noticed her at all except she managed to plant herself right there, in that spot where at high noon the sun shoots through that hole in the roof which won’t get fixed for a month. No one had seen the sun for two weeks, but in that moment, it split the clouds, thrust a shard through that narrow fissure and reflected off every hovering dust particle surrounding her. I hate to sound like a spiritualist, or worse yet, a romantic, but at first glance, she seemed like an apparition, haloed by glowing filaments of frizzed hair. Even the folds of her skirt were radiant. If not for her quirky suitcase, the size of a tackle box, I might have dropped to my knees.
Had I known her, I’m afraid I might have been right-out rude. I know everyone in this little town and tourists wouldn’t be showing up for another month. It occurred to me that she could be Mother’s new ‘Girl’; although, we had talked about it after the last one left and agreed that this year I would have at least some input in the selection process. Perhaps Mother made another one of her unilateral decisions and failed to mention it. Or maybe she did say something and I tuned her out the way I do when she begins wringing her hands. ‘Just add it to the list’ is what I usually tell her.
I suppose I expected impatience from this apparition, especially once the sun retreated and she was no longer ablaze. But she stood unperturbed and silent, as if she had been watching me for minutes, studying me without expectation, without concern over whether I would be so kind as to shut off the disk sander and acknowledge her. Which of course I did, but with my mother’s impatience.
“Are you looking for the bed-and-breakfast?” I shouted, as though my equipment were still running.
“I found it,” she said, “but no one’s around.”
At that moment, I remembered something about Mother taking Buck, my grandfather, to town. I know my eyes probably looked as if they were rolling right out of their sockets, belying my attempt to be nice, when I responded, “Why don’t you go wait on the front steps. Someone will be back soon.”
In spite of what came out abruptly, she smiled and walked away, apparently satisfied that I wasn’t trying to put her off unnecessarily; I mean, it was pretty obvious I couldn’t just drop everything. I pulled the respirator back over my face and started up the sander, but I continued watching her as she walked from the shadows out into the haze of the boatyard. In addition to her wild dark hair, which fell beyond her shoulders, I noticed she carried herself with the most nonchalant femininity I had ever seen. Just the same, I wasted no time, immersing myself in lists and deadlines, resolving to settle the hired help issue with Mother, later. Within minutes I had forgotten about her altogether. I figured that if she stayed on, she would be no different from all of Mother’s other Girls.
I had been up late, several nights in a row, scarfing that frame repair on a sloop I’d had in shop all winter. I don’t run a big operation, just a small family shipwright business handed down for generations, of which I am the seventh, and if life continues as is, the last. My regular guy, Mitch, was recovering from rotator cuff surgery, putting me as behind schedule as the arrival of spring. With only a few hours sleep, I started early at it again, finalizing the contour—real dusty work. Would love to have been doing it outside, but the boat is thirty immovable-feet long. Besides that, rain showers hadn’t let up for three days with no clear weather forecast for a week.
On the coast of Maine, the season following winter has less to do with a calendar date than it does the thaw—when ice melts, and mud takes over. We have spent the better part of five months suspended in the kind of cold that gnaws at our bones and blows through us, sucking breath from our lungs. So, when any weather resembling spring arrives, we lunge forward, only to trip headlong into the thick of mud season. It’s during this time of year that I work even longer and harder than usual, pushing to get boats in the water by Memorial Day.
Therefore, I worked without a break, the way I do once I’m into a project, right on through lunchtime. When I finally emerged, and only at the insistence of hunger pangs, I noticed the girl, still waiting on the front steps. I then realized Mother hadn’t returned with the car, that Buck’s appointment at the clinic must have involved an unusually long wait. Suddenly, I felt bad. She had been sitting under scant cover of the porch during intermittent downpours for at least several hours.
As I approached, plodding through deep and unavoidable furrows of softening earth, I noticed her reading, using that little suitcase as a desk in her lap. She glanced up at me with delight, as if only minutes had passed, not hours. And, she was smiling, which put me on edge. I was all at once aware of my disheveled appearance, but didn’t even bother brushing the dust from my thinning hair.
Embarrassed by my miscalculation, and knowing I couldn’t ignore her, I veered toward the stoop. She stuffed her book into a duffel bag as I approached, and when she stood, I hoped my reaction to her outfit didn’t show as a smirk on my face. Honestly, she looked like an orphan in her oversized clothes, anklet socks, and muddied white sneakers with mismatched laces. Not that I qualify as any kind of fashion critic, but she was about as poorly put together as the crew I’ve seen climb out of the daytrip van from the County Institution.
“I’m sorry,” I said, hoping to sound sincere, “I honestly thought my mother would be back sooner. I’m surprised she didn’t mention you were coming.” It would have been unnecessarily rude to tell her that I completely forgot she existed.
“It’s okay…I’m sort of unexpected. I didn’t make a reservation.” Dispelling my assumption that she was Mother’s new Girl, she continued, “Do I need a reservation to get a room for a week or two?”
In disbelief, I stared long enough to make her uncomfortable. “We aren’t open to guests for another month,” I said, “it’s right in our brochure.”
She winced. “Oh—I guess I don’t have one of those.”
I forced civility through my impatience. “Well, sorry…Can’t really help you there.”
For a moment, her expression went blank, turning to an embarrassed smile. She said,
“Okay…I’ll just come back in a month,” as if it weren’t any inconvenience at all. Then she looked at me with some unaccounted for familiarity, and said, “You’re Samuel Wesley.”
I gave her a squint and a nod, certain we had never met. I would have pursued it, but frankly, I didn’t want to encourage conversation.
Click here to read the most recent revision.
I am seeking representation for Story for a Shipwright, a General Fiction novel with romantic undercurrents of 82,000 words.
Shipwreck is more than a metaphor, when a peculiar waif, harboring a century old secret, drifts into the stagnating life of a Maine shipwright.
Family dysfunction and responsibilities weigh on Samuel Wesley; he has no time for himself, let alone naïve Marlena, hired to stay on at his mother’s bed & breakfast. A story within a story develops when she reveals a tale of shipwreck and survival. Her farfetched stories leave Samuel wondering if they are merely the imaginings of a delusional girl—he cannot possibly know she holds the key to his family’s past; that she will launch him into recollections of his own repressed memories.
Samuel’s intrigue grows, and so do his feelings for Marlena. Now he must compete with his womanizing best friend, and quell his psychiatrist brother’s suspicions over her motives, while keeping his own emotional fallout at bay.
If he pursues the relationship, he risks yet another failed romance, and complicates his already thorny life. Yet if he does not see it through, he will miss out on the most extraordinary woman, and incredible story he could ever imagine.
Marlena and Samuel, through their own unique perceptions, help each other find the home and love we are all looking for. This character driven exploration, of our needs versus wants in a world where ordinary converges with extraordinary, resonates with all who have been at the crossroads of personal and familial reconciliation and discovery.
Thank you for your consideration.
First 4 Pages:
The faintest odor of diesel lingered in the salt air as I hurried from our bed-and-breakfast, across the dooryard toward the boathouse, just as I do every morning. Coffee in my mug warmed my hands; it’s aroma mingled with every breath, carried by the late frost congealing mud beneath my feet. As I stepped into a rut, rupturing a skin of ice, water splashed up and into my boot, and by the time I reached my destination, I felt damp and chilled from the drizzling rain.
To me, the air smelled like spring. Heavy, like mud. In the shop, it seemed to suspend everything—fine dust and particles, even time. When I’m working, I tend to lose track that way, and I can’t say for sure how long I had been running my sander—it could have been hours or perhaps only minutes—when I noticed an intruder. At first, I thought it might be my hired guy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t; unless he had taken up wearing skirts.
I doubt I would have noticed her at all except she managed to plant herself right there, in that spot where at high noon the sun shoots through that hole in the roof which won’t get fixed for a month. No one had seen the sun for two weeks, but in that moment, it split the clouds, thrust a shard through that narrow fissure and reflected off every hovering dust particle surrounding her. I hate to sound like a spiritualist, or worse yet, a romantic, but at first glance, she seemed like an apparition, haloed by glowing filaments of frizzed hair. Even the folds of her skirt were radiant. If not for her quirky suitcase, the size of a tackle box, I might have dropped to my knees.
Had I known her, I’m afraid I might have been right-out rude. I know everyone in this little town and tourists wouldn’t be showing up for another month. It occurred to me that she could be Mother’s new ‘Girl’; although, we had talked about it after the last one left and agreed that this year I would have at least some input in the selection process. Perhaps Mother made another one of her unilateral decisions and failed to mention it. Or maybe she did say something and I tuned her out the way I do when she begins wringing her hands. ‘Just add it to the list’ is what I usually tell her.
I suppose I expected impatience from this apparition, especially once the sun retreated and she was no longer ablaze. But she stood unperturbed and silent, as if she had been watching me for minutes, studying me without expectation, without concern over whether I would be so kind as to shut off the disk sander and acknowledge her. Which of course I did, but with my mother’s impatience.
“Are you looking for the bed-and-breakfast?” I shouted, as though my equipment were still running.
“I found it,” she said, “but no one’s around.”
At that moment, I remembered something about Mother taking Buck, my grandfather, to town. I know my eyes probably looked as if they were rolling right out of their sockets, belying my attempt to be nice, when I responded, “Why don’t you go wait on the front steps. Someone will be back soon.”
In spite of what came out abruptly, she smiled and walked away, apparently satisfied that I wasn’t trying to put her off unnecessarily; I mean, it was pretty obvious I couldn’t just drop everything. I pulled the respirator back over my face and started up the sander, but I continued watching her as she walked from the shadows out into the haze of the boatyard. In addition to her wild dark hair, which fell beyond her shoulders, I noticed she carried herself with the most nonchalant femininity I had ever seen. Just the same, I wasted no time, immersing myself in lists and deadlines, resolving to settle the hired help issue with Mother, later. Within minutes I had forgotten about her altogether. I figured that if she stayed on, she would be no different from all of Mother’s other Girls.
I had been up late, several nights in a row, scarfing that frame repair on a sloop I’d had in shop all winter. I don’t run a big operation, just a small family shipwright business handed down for generations, of which I am the seventh, and if life continues as is, the last. My regular guy, Mitch, was recovering from rotator cuff surgery, putting me as behind schedule as the arrival of spring. With only a few hours sleep, I started early at it again, finalizing the contour—real dusty work. Would love to have been doing it outside, but the boat is thirty immovable-feet long. Besides that, rain showers hadn’t let up for three days with no clear weather forecast for a week.
On the coast of Maine, the season following winter has less to do with a calendar date than it does the thaw—when ice melts, and mud takes over. We have spent the better part of five months suspended in the kind of cold that gnaws at our bones and blows through us, sucking breath from our lungs. So, when any weather resembling spring arrives, we lunge forward, only to trip headlong into the thick of mud season. It’s during this time of year that I work even longer and harder than usual, pushing to get boats in the water by Memorial Day.
Therefore, I worked without a break, the way I do once I’m into a project, right on through lunchtime. When I finally emerged, and only at the insistence of hunger pangs, I noticed the girl, still waiting on the front steps. I then realized Mother hadn’t returned with the car, that Buck’s appointment at the clinic must have involved an unusually long wait. Suddenly, I felt bad. She had been sitting under scant cover of the porch during intermittent downpours for at least several hours.
As I approached, plodding through deep and unavoidable furrows of softening earth, I noticed her reading, using that little suitcase as a desk in her lap. She glanced up at me with delight, as if only minutes had passed, not hours. And, she was smiling, which put me on edge. I was all at once aware of my disheveled appearance, but didn’t even bother brushing the dust from my thinning hair.
Embarrassed by my miscalculation, and knowing I couldn’t ignore her, I veered toward the stoop. She stuffed her book into a duffel bag as I approached, and when she stood, I hoped my reaction to her outfit didn’t show as a smirk on my face. Honestly, she looked like an orphan in her oversized clothes, anklet socks, and muddied white sneakers with mismatched laces. Not that I qualify as any kind of fashion critic, but she was about as poorly put together as the crew I’ve seen climb out of the daytrip van from the County Institution.
“I’m sorry,” I said, hoping to sound sincere, “I honestly thought my mother would be back sooner. I’m surprised she didn’t mention you were coming.” It would have been unnecessarily rude to tell her that I completely forgot she existed.
“It’s okay…I’m sort of unexpected. I didn’t make a reservation.” Dispelling my assumption that she was Mother’s new Girl, she continued, “Do I need a reservation to get a room for a week or two?”
In disbelief, I stared long enough to make her uncomfortable. “We aren’t open to guests for another month,” I said, “it’s right in our brochure.”
She winced. “Oh—I guess I don’t have one of those.”
I forced civility through my impatience. “Well, sorry…Can’t really help you there.”
For a moment, her expression went blank, turning to an embarrassed smile. She said,
“Okay…I’ll just come back in a month,” as if it weren’t any inconvenience at all. Then she looked at me with some unaccounted for familiarity, and said, “You’re Samuel Wesley.”
I gave her a squint and a nod, certain we had never met. I would have pursued it, but frankly, I didn’t want to encourage conversation.
May 14, 2009
RAINGUN --- (fourth revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Even while defending neighbors from ruthless musketeers and bloodthirsty pirates, mage Rick Rivoire worries that he’s slipping into evil. His brutish humiliation of an innocent girl, and his private resentment of the credit due her for her own bravery, taints Rick’s apparent heroism. His early life’s disappointments haunt him relentlessly.
Rick resolves to remake himself with a new life. To escape the old, he joins a new cavalry regiment: one just for mages. Fighting with magic astride conjured spectral mounts, these "Rainguns" shine when bad weather disables muskets and cannon. But Rick’s orders go beyond what he expects. He is tasked not only to defend his people from evil forces, but also to support emerging policies of slavery and religious persecution. Will joining the Rainguns further Rick's plans to better himself? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. Thank you for your valuable time!
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Even while defending neighbors from ruthless musketeers and bloodthirsty pirates, mage Rick Rivoire worries that he’s slipping into evil. His brutish humiliation of an innocent girl, and his private resentment of the credit due her for her own bravery, taints Rick’s apparent heroism. His early life’s disappointments haunt him relentlessly.
Rick resolves to remake himself with a new life. To escape the old, he joins a new cavalry regiment: one just for mages. Fighting with magic astride conjured spectral mounts, these "Rainguns" shine when bad weather disables muskets and cannon. But Rick’s orders go beyond what he expects. He is tasked not only to defend his people from evil forces, but also to support emerging policies of slavery and religious persecution. Will joining the Rainguns further Rick's plans to better himself? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. Thank you for your valuable time!
QUERY --- RAINGUN (third revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.
Even while defending neighbors from ruthless musketeers and bloodthirsty pirates, mage Rick Rivoire wonders if he’s slipping right past permanent bitterness, and straight into evil. His apparent heroism feels tainted by ulterior resentments. His brutish humiliation of an innocent girl earlier that same day, haunts him. His past abuse, the neglect of his childhood, and his romantic disappointments hound his thoughts relentlessly.
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture at age nine, Rick resolves to remake himself with a new life. To escape the old, he joins a new cavalry regiment. One just for mages. They attack with magic, astride their conjured spectral mounts. These "Rainguns" shine when bad weather disables muskets and cannon.
But once signed up, Rick finds his orders to be more than he bargained for. He is tasked to not only defend his nation’s settlements from evil forces, but also to aid the powerful Governors-General’s emerging practices of slavery and religious persecution. Will joining the mysterious ranks of the Rainguns further Rick's plans to become better than he is? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. Thank you for your valuable time!
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.
Even while defending neighbors from ruthless musketeers and bloodthirsty pirates, mage Rick Rivoire wonders if he’s slipping right past permanent bitterness, and straight into evil. His apparent heroism feels tainted by ulterior resentments. His brutish humiliation of an innocent girl earlier that same day, haunts him. His past abuse, the neglect of his childhood, and his romantic disappointments hound his thoughts relentlessly.
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture at age nine, Rick resolves to remake himself with a new life. To escape the old, he joins a new cavalry regiment. One just for mages. They attack with magic, astride their conjured spectral mounts. These "Rainguns" shine when bad weather disables muskets and cannon.
But once signed up, Rick finds his orders to be more than he bargained for. He is tasked to not only defend his nation’s settlements from evil forces, but also to aid the powerful Governors-General’s emerging practices of slavery and religious persecution. Will joining the mysterious ranks of the Rainguns further Rick's plans to become better than he is? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. Thank you for your valuable time!
May 13, 2009
QUERY --- RAINGUN (second revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Rick Rivoire wonders: is he slipping into permanent bitterness, or perhaps beyond, into evil?
Rick fights back with his magic when his coastal hometown is attacked. But even while defending neighbors from a ruthless Admiral's musketeers and gangs of bloodthirsty pirates, he feels his apparent heroism undermined by ulterior resentments. Haunted by his memory from earlier that same day, of callously humiliating an innocent girl, he considers the abuse, neglect and loss that marred his childhood.
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture at age nine, Rick resolves to remake his life. His first step is joining a new cavalry regiment. One just for mages. They attack with magic, astride spectral mounts they conjure themselves. These "Rainguns" shine when bad weather disables muskets and cannon.
Of course, an army makes many demands of its cavalry. Rick is tasked to defend his nation from evil forces, but also to enforce the will of the powerful Governors-General. Will joining the mysterious ranks of the Rainguns further Rick's plans to become better than he is? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. Thank you for your valuable time!
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Rick Rivoire wonders: is he slipping into permanent bitterness, or perhaps beyond, into evil?
Rick fights back with his magic when his coastal hometown is attacked. But even while defending neighbors from a ruthless Admiral's musketeers and gangs of bloodthirsty pirates, he feels his apparent heroism undermined by ulterior resentments. Haunted by his memory from earlier that same day, of callously humiliating an innocent girl, he considers the abuse, neglect and loss that marred his childhood.
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture at age nine, Rick resolves to remake his life. His first step is joining a new cavalry regiment. One just for mages. They attack with magic, astride spectral mounts they conjure themselves. These "Rainguns" shine when bad weather disables muskets and cannon.
Of course, an army makes many demands of its cavalry. Rick is tasked to defend his nation from evil forces, but also to enforce the will of the powerful Governors-General. Will joining the mysterious ranks of the Rainguns further Rick's plans to become better than he is? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. Thank you for your valuable time!
May 12, 2009
QUERY --- RAINGUN (1st revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the second revision.
Rick Rivoire’s childhood was marred by abuse, neglect and loss. As a man, he doesn’t think much of its effect on him until the day his coastal hometown is attacked, by a ruthless Admiral's musketeers from one side and a gang of bloodthirsty pirates from the other. He fights back with his magic, struggling to act courageously, but he feels his apparent heroism diluted by ulterior motives. He is haunted by a memory from earlier that same day, of callously humiliating an innocent girl, and wonders: Is he allowing his past misfortunes to drag him down into permanent bitterness, or perhaps beyond, into evil?
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture as a child, Rick resolves to remake his life. His first step is to join a new cavalry regiment, just for mages. On battlefields crowded with archers and pikemen, these "Rainguns" come into their own when bad weather disables muskets and cannon, attacking from the backs of spectral mounts they conjure themselves. Will joining their mysterious ranks further Rick's plans to become better than he is? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. My fantasy platform includes the roles of author, editor and lead developer of many gaming supplements for the genre. These achievements were profitable, spanned several years, and received positive reviews.
Thank you for your valuable time!
Click here to read the second revision.
Rick Rivoire’s childhood was marred by abuse, neglect and loss. As a man, he doesn’t think much of its effect on him until the day his coastal hometown is attacked, by a ruthless Admiral's musketeers from one side and a gang of bloodthirsty pirates from the other. He fights back with his magic, struggling to act courageously, but he feels his apparent heroism diluted by ulterior motives. He is haunted by a memory from earlier that same day, of callously humiliating an innocent girl, and wonders: Is he allowing his past misfortunes to drag him down into permanent bitterness, or perhaps beyond, into evil?
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture as a child, Rick resolves to remake his life. His first step is to join a new cavalry regiment, just for mages. On battlefields crowded with archers and pikemen, these "Rainguns" come into their own when bad weather disables muskets and cannon, attacking from the backs of spectral mounts they conjure themselves. Will joining their mysterious ranks further Rick's plans to become better than he is? Or thwart them?
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. My fantasy platform includes the roles of author, editor and lead developer of many gaming supplements for the genre. These achievements were profitable, spanned several years, and received positive reviews.
Thank you for your valuable time!
May 11, 2009
QUERY --- RAINGUN
A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.
Rick Rivoire’s childhood was marred by abuse, neglect and loss. As a man, he doesn’t think much of its effect on him until the day he defends his hometown, simultaneously attacked by two enemy forces. He acts courageously, but ulterior motives dilute his apparent heroism. He is haunted by a memory from earlier that same day, of callously humiliating an innocent girl. Is he allowing his past misfortunes to drag him down into permanent bitterness, or perhaps beyond, to evil?
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture as a child, Rick resolves to remake his life. His first step is to join the army, in a new cavalry regiment just for mages: the Rainguns.
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. My fantasy platform includes the roles of author, editor and lead developer of many gaming supplements for the genre. These achievements were profitable, spanned several years, and received positive reviews. Moreover, my past career as journalist (and present career as an attorney) have supplied me with substantial writing experience, as well as the ever-useful thick skin.
Thank you for your valuable time!
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.
Rick Rivoire’s childhood was marred by abuse, neglect and loss. As a man, he doesn’t think much of its effect on him until the day he defends his hometown, simultaneously attacked by two enemy forces. He acts courageously, but ulterior motives dilute his apparent heroism. He is haunted by a memory from earlier that same day, of callously humiliating an innocent girl. Is he allowing his past misfortunes to drag him down into permanent bitterness, or perhaps beyond, to evil?
Determined not to disappoint the valiant swordswoman who rescued him from torture as a child, Rick resolves to remake his life. His first step is to join the army, in a new cavalry regiment just for mages: the Rainguns.
RAINGUN is an adult fantasy novel of 84,000 words. My fantasy platform includes the roles of author, editor and lead developer of many gaming supplements for the genre. These achievements were profitable, spanned several years, and received positive reviews. Moreover, my past career as journalist (and present career as an attorney) have supplied me with substantial writing experience, as well as the ever-useful thick skin.
Thank you for your valuable time!
May 7, 2009
Query- Sulham Close
Dear Agent,
The Residents of Sulham Close have a terrible secret. Trapped by a curse they’re unable to revoke, they receive prosperity, good fortune, and immortality in return for providing a yearly sacrifice to demonic deity who resides on the other side of a portal.
Mark lives on the streets of Reading, earning enough by busking to keep himself in Strongbow. Pete saunters into his life with an offer he can’t refuse – a warm bed, free food, and a chance to ditch the booze. Tricked into staying the night at Pete’s secluded cottage and oblivious of the chithons, the diety’s minions, soon coming to take him over to the Otherside, Mark smuggles in Louisa, his pregnant girlfriend. A race against time ensues with midnight, the time of the chithons’ arrival, fast approaching. The neighbours attempt a rescue and drag Louisa from the cottage. Now in labour, they take her inside another house as Mark’s screams fill the night. Louisa was in the house as midnight struck, and the chithons emerging from the Otherside want their other sacrifice. But Pete is sabotaging his neighbours’ efforts to save the girl.
A hasty caesarean is performed on Louisa, and the baby hidden as the chithons storm the house and seize the dying girl. Amelia cuddles Hope, the baby, as the creatures disappear for another year.
Sulham Close is a 30,000 word horror novella and middle instalment of a five book series. The other books chronicle the origins of the curse, the murder of one of the residents, and Pete’s evolution into a serial killer. The dramatic conclusion features Hope, the baby born in Sulham Close, on the cusp of turning twenty as she passes through to the Otherside and battles the deity.
I have been writing seriously for several years. My novel, Coombe’s Wood, was runner-up in YouWriteOn’s 2008 Book of the Year Award, and was a semi-finalist in the 2009 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. My published short stories and poems include work in Twisted Tongue magazine and UKAuthors Anthologies, and a series of children’s stories in La Fenetre. The manuscript of my novel The Crocodile was short-listed in the Undiscovered Authors 2006 competition.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
May 5, 2009
Query - The Brigid
In this 80,000 word urban fantasy, The Brigid, one man's lack of faith in his unseen heritage may be the weakness that destroys the entire world, starting with those closest to him.
They are brothers. Twins. They live in the white world, but a piece of them belongs to their mother's people, the Nez Perce. CALEB accepts that piece of himself, but MIKA's doubts haunt him. Does he really have a spirit guide, or is the voice he hears in his head merely intuition?
Into their lives comes a beautiful woman with no memory and frightening enemies who stretch the brothers' credulity—the beautiful but terrifying creatures she says are Tuatha de dannan. Her friends, like the wee man who smokes a dragonbone pipe and who just might be a leprechaun, are equally unbelievable.
In order to save not just the world of the mysterious stranger, who both brothers are starting to fall in love with, but their own world as well, Mika must learn to believe and Caleb must learn to see his own worth outside of his brother's shadow.
They are brothers. Twins. They live in the white world, but a piece of them belongs to their mother's people, the Nez Perce. CALEB accepts that piece of himself, but MIKA's doubts haunt him. Does he really have a spirit guide, or is the voice he hears in his head merely intuition?
Into their lives comes a beautiful woman with no memory and frightening enemies who stretch the brothers' credulity—the beautiful but terrifying creatures she says are Tuatha de dannan. Her friends, like the wee man who smokes a dragonbone pipe and who just might be a leprechaun, are equally unbelievable.
In order to save not just the world of the mysterious stranger, who both brothers are starting to fall in love with, but their own world as well, Mika must learn to believe and Caleb must learn to see his own worth outside of his brother's shadow.
May 4, 2009
Query - Immortalis
A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.
Dear Mr./ Mrs. Agent,
IMMORTALIS is a 78,000 word urban fantasy about a newly turned vampire fighting to accept and keep an immortal life she never wanted.
Alyssa had a regular, numbingly routine life, until one bad night changed everything. After a brutal mugging, Alyssa was moments from death. Fortunately, a stranger, Lysander, came to her rescue, bringing with him the gift of immortality. There's only one problem, Alyssa didn’t want to be a vampire.
Alyssa has problems with the fact that she now has to kill, drink blood, and stay out of the sun. But before she has a chance to come to terms with what she’s become, Alyssa is brought before Kallisto, a rancorous vampire coven mistress. Alyssa finds out, she and Lysander have been marked for death for breaking an ancient coven law: Humans must be approved before being turned into vampires. Kallisto uses this opportunity to get revenge on Lysander, her old lover. She gives Alyssa a cruel choice, kill Lysander and keep her immortality, or die with him. Before Alyssa can act on her decision, Kallisto’s coven is attacked by hunters from the Acta Sanctorum.
Few will survive this attack. If Alyssa wants to keep her newfound immortality, she will have to learn to accept what she is and trust Lysander. Together they will have to fight both Kallisto and the Acta Sanctorum.
I would be happy to send more if you like what you see here. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Hopeful Author.
Dear Mr./ Mrs. Agent,
IMMORTALIS is a 78,000 word urban fantasy about a newly turned vampire fighting to accept and keep an immortal life she never wanted.
Alyssa had a regular, numbingly routine life, until one bad night changed everything. After a brutal mugging, Alyssa was moments from death. Fortunately, a stranger, Lysander, came to her rescue, bringing with him the gift of immortality. There's only one problem, Alyssa didn’t want to be a vampire.
Alyssa has problems with the fact that she now has to kill, drink blood, and stay out of the sun. But before she has a chance to come to terms with what she’s become, Alyssa is brought before Kallisto, a rancorous vampire coven mistress. Alyssa finds out, she and Lysander have been marked for death for breaking an ancient coven law: Humans must be approved before being turned into vampires. Kallisto uses this opportunity to get revenge on Lysander, her old lover. She gives Alyssa a cruel choice, kill Lysander and keep her immortality, or die with him. Before Alyssa can act on her decision, Kallisto’s coven is attacked by hunters from the Acta Sanctorum.
Few will survive this attack. If Alyssa wants to keep her newfound immortality, she will have to learn to accept what she is and trust Lysander. Together they will have to fight both Kallisto and the Acta Sanctorum.
I would be happy to send more if you like what you see here. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Hopeful Author.
May 1, 2009
Query- Krelis (Revision 2)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
Once every century, Comet Orel blazes across the sky opening an opportunity to imbue dragon stones with the souls of deceased dragons, creating powerful talismans. The time is approaching for this celestial event.
Krelis, a human wizard, and his peers set out in search of the dragon stones at the request of their mentor, Antigonus, leaving their home behind. The journey is filled with dangerous creatures, people, and dragons, but they return to their beloved home successful. With the power of the dragon stones in their hands, Antigonus’ dream becomes reality; a world of peace replaces the world of conflict and prosperity reigns.
But the power proves to be too enticing, corrupting one of Krelis’ peers. One by one, the wizards are murdered, the stones are disappearing, and Krelis is destined to destroy the source of the betrayal.
KRELIS is an 80,000 word, young adult fantasy.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
Once every century, Comet Orel blazes across the sky opening an opportunity to imbue dragon stones with the souls of deceased dragons, creating powerful talismans. The time is approaching for this celestial event.
Krelis, a human wizard, and his peers set out in search of the dragon stones at the request of their mentor, Antigonus, leaving their home behind. The journey is filled with dangerous creatures, people, and dragons, but they return to their beloved home successful. With the power of the dragon stones in their hands, Antigonus’ dream becomes reality; a world of peace replaces the world of conflict and prosperity reigns.
But the power proves to be too enticing, corrupting one of Krelis’ peers. One by one, the wizards are murdered, the stones are disappearing, and Krelis is destined to destroy the source of the betrayal.
KRELIS is an 80,000 word, young adult fantasy.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Apr 29, 2009
Got Genre?
Occasionally people submit queries without stating the genre in them. I label these queries as "Guess the Genre." I've also seen revisions come through where the genre changes.
Do you struggle to define the genre for your novel?
Maybe you're trying to think like an agent, or like a publisher. It can be tough for a novice writer to really see inside their heads. But picking the right genre can be simple. Just think like a reader:
If you went to buy your book at the bookstore, where would you go to look for it?
Bookstores are divided up into sections. Where would you go to look for your funny but heartwarming tale of love? Humor, literary fiction, or romance?
Go to a couple bookstores and look at the books on the shelves where you think yours should be. When you get there, pick a couple and read the jacket copy. Think about your query, and think about your manuscript:
Does it fit in? And more importantly, does it stand out?
If you really want to get down and dirty, look at the acknowledgements in a few of the books. Agent names are usually listed. Add them to your query list if they are not already there.
Oh...and good luck!
Do you struggle to define the genre for your novel?
Maybe you're trying to think like an agent, or like a publisher. It can be tough for a novice writer to really see inside their heads. But picking the right genre can be simple. Just think like a reader:
If you went to buy your book at the bookstore, where would you go to look for it?
Bookstores are divided up into sections. Where would you go to look for your funny but heartwarming tale of love? Humor, literary fiction, or romance?
Go to a couple bookstores and look at the books on the shelves where you think yours should be. When you get there, pick a couple and read the jacket copy. Think about your query, and think about your manuscript:
Does it fit in? And more importantly, does it stand out?
If you really want to get down and dirty, look at the acknowledgements in a few of the books. Agent names are usually listed. Add them to your query list if they are not already there.
Oh...and good luck!
Query- Seven-Inch Vinyl -Revision 2
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.
Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the birth of Rock and Roll music!
As young Joseph Rabinowitz, a New York teenager, trains in Kentucky for combat in the Korean Conflict he is introduced to a new brand of music called Rhythm & Blues. We’ll follow Joseph and a wealth of other fictional characters for sixteen years as the music evolves into something called Rock and Roll and changes the lives of generations of young men and women and with it the course of the nation and the world.
Joseph’s rise through the music business will take him from an employee in a record store in the Bronx, to the founder of an independent record company and on to a legendary songwriter and producer. When the British Invasion of musical artists cripples the American music scene, Joseph will lose it all and slip into quiet mediocrity until, in 1969, when he stages a triumphant re-union concert of artists heralding the beginning of the “oldies but goodies” era which still flourishes today.
My first novel SEVEN-INCH VINYL, transitions between real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy.
My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in Peace Magazine, as well as two articles published in The Las Vegas Tribune and LaVoce monthly newspaper and one published in Golden Oldies Forever, a national specialized music periodical.
The completed 137,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Click here to read the first revision.
In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.
Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the birth of Rock and Roll music!
As young Joseph Rabinowitz, a New York teenager, trains in Kentucky for combat in the Korean Conflict he is introduced to a new brand of music called Rhythm & Blues. We’ll follow Joseph and a wealth of other fictional characters for sixteen years as the music evolves into something called Rock and Roll and changes the lives of generations of young men and women and with it the course of the nation and the world.
Joseph’s rise through the music business will take him from an employee in a record store in the Bronx, to the founder of an independent record company and on to a legendary songwriter and producer. When the British Invasion of musical artists cripples the American music scene, Joseph will lose it all and slip into quiet mediocrity until, in 1969, when he stages a triumphant re-union concert of artists heralding the beginning of the “oldies but goodies” era which still flourishes today.
My first novel SEVEN-INCH VINYL, transitions between real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy.
My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in Peace Magazine, as well as two articles published in The Las Vegas Tribune and LaVoce monthly newspaper and one published in Golden Oldies Forever, a national specialized music periodical.
The completed 137,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Apr 28, 2009
Middle-Grades Novel Submission Query: The Mighty Pickles
Dear [Agent],
Fourth-grader Reece is determined to join her friends on the local softball team. She has no experience hitting, or catching, or throwing a ball, but that isn’t going to stop her any more than her rapid discovery that she has no ability, either. Still, she makes the team – after all, the league has a no-cut policy.
Calling themselves the Firebolts, the team starts practicing. They begin a season that promises more losses than wins. But the Firebolts have three good infielders, a few solid hitters, an unflappable coach – and Reece. What can Reece contribute besides her fear at bat, her clumsiness in right field, and her tart sense of humor?
A sense of humor, it turns out, is a significant asset. She renames the team the Pickles, and somehow the silly name, along with the building camaraderie among the girls, starts the team on a winning streak. Reece gradually gains confidence by encouraging her teammates. She learns to make the most of what she has, her sense of humor and honesty, and of what she lacks – height, as her small strike zone leads to walks.
The Pickles squeak by into the league playoffs... and the team falls apart under the pressure. It’s up to Reece to pull the team together again by standing up for a disliked teammate, using everything she’s learned during the season. She can’t make a difference with her bat or her glove, but she discovers she has inner resources at least as important.
Join Reece and the Mighty Pickles on their improbable march toward the championship game.
The completed manuscript is about 42,500 words.
I am a first-time fiction author, although I have written a number of professional trade-journal articles. I recently (semi-)retired after 25+ years in the high-tech industry; I continue to do some consulting and technical writing in addition to authoring middle-grades fiction.
Thank you in advance for considering this proposal.
Steven B. Levy (writing as Steven Brant)
[The first few pages will be posted at http://TheMightyPickles.com.]
Fourth-grader Reece is determined to join her friends on the local softball team. She has no experience hitting, or catching, or throwing a ball, but that isn’t going to stop her any more than her rapid discovery that she has no ability, either. Still, she makes the team – after all, the league has a no-cut policy.
Calling themselves the Firebolts, the team starts practicing. They begin a season that promises more losses than wins. But the Firebolts have three good infielders, a few solid hitters, an unflappable coach – and Reece. What can Reece contribute besides her fear at bat, her clumsiness in right field, and her tart sense of humor?
A sense of humor, it turns out, is a significant asset. She renames the team the Pickles, and somehow the silly name, along with the building camaraderie among the girls, starts the team on a winning streak. Reece gradually gains confidence by encouraging her teammates. She learns to make the most of what she has, her sense of humor and honesty, and of what she lacks – height, as her small strike zone leads to walks.
The Pickles squeak by into the league playoffs... and the team falls apart under the pressure. It’s up to Reece to pull the team together again by standing up for a disliked teammate, using everything she’s learned during the season. She can’t make a difference with her bat or her glove, but she discovers she has inner resources at least as important.
Join Reece and the Mighty Pickles on their improbable march toward the championship game.
The completed manuscript is about 42,500 words.
I am a first-time fiction author, although I have written a number of professional trade-journal articles. I recently (semi-)retired after 25+ years in the high-tech industry; I continue to do some consulting and technical writing in addition to authoring middle-grades fiction.
Thank you in advance for considering this proposal.
Steven B. Levy (writing as Steven Brant)
[The first few pages will be posted at http://TheMightyPickles.com.]
Query - Quest Support (Second Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear (Agent),
Gilbert Gaberlunzie thinks most Heroes are morons. They’d be nothing without his help, because he works at Quest Support, a tech support hotline for people on Quests. Even though Gilbert knows the adventuring routine better than any of the idiots who call him, he’s satisfied where he is. He loves…well, tolerates his job, and wants nothing more than to sit in his cubicle and drink coffee.
Things don’t quite work out that way. When Gilbert accidentally gets the Hero killed during the Final Battle with the Dark Lord, he puts the whole world in peril and loses his job to boot. Since his knowledge of fantasy clichés isn’t good for much else, Gilbert sets out on a journey to defeat the Dark Lord himself and set things right. His feet may hurt and he may be hopeless with a sword, but Gilbert is sure he’s ready for anything the genre throws at him, whether it’s elves, goblins, an oracle, or those giant spiders that always live in caves. But can he handle the inevitable Plot Twist?
Complete at 94,000 words, QUEST SUPPORT will appeal to readers looking for a quirky spin on the familiar fantasy formula, or anyone who’s ever wondered when Heroes wash their socks.
Thank you for your consideration,
Paul
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear (Agent),
Gilbert Gaberlunzie thinks most Heroes are morons. They’d be nothing without his help, because he works at Quest Support, a tech support hotline for people on Quests. Even though Gilbert knows the adventuring routine better than any of the idiots who call him, he’s satisfied where he is. He loves…well, tolerates his job, and wants nothing more than to sit in his cubicle and drink coffee.
Things don’t quite work out that way. When Gilbert accidentally gets the Hero killed during the Final Battle with the Dark Lord, he puts the whole world in peril and loses his job to boot. Since his knowledge of fantasy clichés isn’t good for much else, Gilbert sets out on a journey to defeat the Dark Lord himself and set things right. His feet may hurt and he may be hopeless with a sword, but Gilbert is sure he’s ready for anything the genre throws at him, whether it’s elves, goblins, an oracle, or those giant spiders that always live in caves. But can he handle the inevitable Plot Twist?
Complete at 94,000 words, QUEST SUPPORT will appeal to readers looking for a quirky spin on the familiar fantasy formula, or anyone who’s ever wondered when Heroes wash their socks.
Thank you for your consideration,
Paul
Apr 27, 2009
Query - Gambling on Love
In this 90,000 word contemporary romantic comedy, GAMBLING ON LOVE, it's a case of the blind leading the blind when dating-impaired Galveston concierge Rachel McKnight agrees to play Henry Higgins for equally dating-inept gambler Mac MacAllister.
Rachel is a compulsive fixer—a handy trait for the Galveston hotel concierge; not so wonderful in the dating world.
Recently divorced Mac doesn't understand why lines like "Wanna get naked?" aren't getting him any dates. He wants Rachel to fix his approach to women, but dating is the one area of life Rachel hasn't been able to figure out. Turning down Mac's plea to "fix him" is like a junkie turning away from a heroin fix, but Rachel manages to do the honorable thing. Right up until she learns her mother expects her to bring a date to her brother's wedding. If she doesn't, she risks her mother meddling in her love life.
So Rachel and Mac make a deal. He'll play the attentive beau if she'll coach him on how to successfully approach women.
Escorting Rachel to the wedding creates its own complications when Mac realizes that the kisses he wants can only be found on Rachel's lips. This unexpected development leads him to discover Rachel's darkest secret and the intimacy issues that have kept her alone.
Now it's his turn to teach her. If she can't learn to trust him, she'll never have the family she yearns for, and Mac will always wonder what might have been.
Gambling on Love should appeal to readers of Jennifer Crusie and Rachel Gibson. I hope you will find Gambling on Love worth a closer look. The full manuscript is available upon request.
Rachel is a compulsive fixer—a handy trait for the Galveston hotel concierge; not so wonderful in the dating world.
Recently divorced Mac doesn't understand why lines like "Wanna get naked?" aren't getting him any dates. He wants Rachel to fix his approach to women, but dating is the one area of life Rachel hasn't been able to figure out. Turning down Mac's plea to "fix him" is like a junkie turning away from a heroin fix, but Rachel manages to do the honorable thing. Right up until she learns her mother expects her to bring a date to her brother's wedding. If she doesn't, she risks her mother meddling in her love life.
So Rachel and Mac make a deal. He'll play the attentive beau if she'll coach him on how to successfully approach women.
Escorting Rachel to the wedding creates its own complications when Mac realizes that the kisses he wants can only be found on Rachel's lips. This unexpected development leads him to discover Rachel's darkest secret and the intimacy issues that have kept her alone.
Now it's his turn to teach her. If she can't learn to trust him, she'll never have the family she yearns for, and Mac will always wonder what might have been.
Gambling on Love should appeal to readers of Jennifer Crusie and Rachel Gibson. I hope you will find Gambling on Love worth a closer look. The full manuscript is available upon request.
Query- Seven-Inch Vinyl Revision 1
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the second revision.
In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.
Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the form of Rock and Roll music!
My first novel SEVEN-INCH VINYL, follows the evolution of rock and roll music as seen through the eyes of Joseph Rabinowitz, a young man who is introduced to R&B music while in the army in Kentucky training for the Korean Conflict and a wealth of other fictional characters. Joseph’s rise through the music business first as an employee at a record store, then as the owner of an independent record company and on as he becomes a legendary songwriter and record producer will parallel real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy, all culminating in a groundbreaking reunion concert in 1969 proving that rock and roll will never die.
My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in Peace Magazine, as well as two articles published in The Las Vegas Tribune and LaVoce monthly newspaper and one published in Golden Oldies Forever, a national specialized music periodical.
The completed 140,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Click here to read the second revision.
In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.
Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the form of Rock and Roll music!
My first novel SEVEN-INCH VINYL, follows the evolution of rock and roll music as seen through the eyes of Joseph Rabinowitz, a young man who is introduced to R&B music while in the army in Kentucky training for the Korean Conflict and a wealth of other fictional characters. Joseph’s rise through the music business first as an employee at a record store, then as the owner of an independent record company and on as he becomes a legendary songwriter and record producer will parallel real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy, all culminating in a groundbreaking reunion concert in 1969 proving that rock and roll will never die.
My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in Peace Magazine, as well as two articles published in The Las Vegas Tribune and LaVoce monthly newspaper and one published in Golden Oldies Forever, a national specialized music periodical.
The completed 140,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
THE GRACES OF MERCY & CIRCUMSTANCE - REVISION #1
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent,
In THE GRACES OF MERCY & CIRCUMSTANCE, three childhood friends, now mothers in their late thirties, commit an act of vigilantism against a complete stranger when they become convinced he has abused his stepdaughter and murdered his wife. The three women are swept up by their newfound sense of control and power while they plot against the man, but their so-called “perfect plan” goes terribly awry during execution and they discover, only when it’s too late, that they didn’t know all the facts. Thanks also to their late night activities in a stolen van, the women unwittingly become suspects in a separate murder investigation of a police informant and find out how tenuous their beliefs—and their relationships with one another—have been.
In the end, the man at the center of the women’s vigilantism has a history and identity that none of the women could ever have imagined.
The story starts with Karin, Alaina, and Trisha as children. When they reunite decades later, Karin faces unimaginable grief with the death of her only child in a car accident in which her husband was driving in the direction toward his mistress’ house. Trisha confronts her own childhood traumas involving an alcoholic mother, a father she has never met, molestation by her grandfather, and the fear that the daughter she gave up for adoption when she was a teenager could, in any way possible, be in harm’s way because of Trisha’s self-perceived abandonment. Alaina, on the other hand, struggles with the guilt of her past failure to speak out against her adopted father who was engaged in the sexual abuse of boys and, then later, the secret and questionable paternity of her oldest child.
After Alaina’s son reveals that one of his classmates has run away from home because of the horrific deeds of her stepfather, the women’s weekly “girls’ night out” takes on a whole new and tragic misplacement of energy.
This 83,000-word manuscript of commercial women’s fiction is set within small towns in British Columbia, Canada due to my life-long familiarity with the landscape. Although I am an unpublished novelist, I have an entrenched fascination with all the trouble presumably “average” people get themselves into—due, in no small part, to my past work history writing investigative narratives of the professional and personal misconduct of lawyers. Take years summarizing indiscretions and bad decision-making (including fraudulent investment schemes, criminal charges of public indecency and unlawful confinement of minors, and run-of-the mill impaired driving and assault convictions), throw in a degree in English literature, and a work of fiction was destined to come to fruition.
I'd be more than happy to send you my complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Dear Agent,
In THE GRACES OF MERCY & CIRCUMSTANCE, three childhood friends, now mothers in their late thirties, commit an act of vigilantism against a complete stranger when they become convinced he has abused his stepdaughter and murdered his wife. The three women are swept up by their newfound sense of control and power while they plot against the man, but their so-called “perfect plan” goes terribly awry during execution and they discover, only when it’s too late, that they didn’t know all the facts. Thanks also to their late night activities in a stolen van, the women unwittingly become suspects in a separate murder investigation of a police informant and find out how tenuous their beliefs—and their relationships with one another—have been.
In the end, the man at the center of the women’s vigilantism has a history and identity that none of the women could ever have imagined.
The story starts with Karin, Alaina, and Trisha as children. When they reunite decades later, Karin faces unimaginable grief with the death of her only child in a car accident in which her husband was driving in the direction toward his mistress’ house. Trisha confronts her own childhood traumas involving an alcoholic mother, a father she has never met, molestation by her grandfather, and the fear that the daughter she gave up for adoption when she was a teenager could, in any way possible, be in harm’s way because of Trisha’s self-perceived abandonment. Alaina, on the other hand, struggles with the guilt of her past failure to speak out against her adopted father who was engaged in the sexual abuse of boys and, then later, the secret and questionable paternity of her oldest child.
After Alaina’s son reveals that one of his classmates has run away from home because of the horrific deeds of her stepfather, the women’s weekly “girls’ night out” takes on a whole new and tragic misplacement of energy.
This 83,000-word manuscript of commercial women’s fiction is set within small towns in British Columbia, Canada due to my life-long familiarity with the landscape. Although I am an unpublished novelist, I have an entrenched fascination with all the trouble presumably “average” people get themselves into—due, in no small part, to my past work history writing investigative narratives of the professional and personal misconduct of lawyers. Take years summarizing indiscretions and bad decision-making (including fraudulent investment schemes, criminal charges of public indecency and unlawful confinement of minors, and run-of-the mill impaired driving and assault convictions), throw in a degree in English literature, and a work of fiction was destined to come to fruition.
I'd be more than happy to send you my complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Query: Seven-Inch Vinyl
A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.
In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.
Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the form of Rock and Roll music!
My first novel, SEVEN-INCH VINYL, follows the evolution of rock and roll music as seen through the eyes of Joseph Rabinowitz and a wealth of other fictional characters. Their personal and professional stories will parallel real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy, all culminating in a groundbreaking reunion concert proving that rock and roll will never die.
My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in a regional magazine, as well as two articles published in local Las Vegas newspapers and one published in a national specialized music periodical.
The completed 140,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.
Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the form of Rock and Roll music!
My first novel, SEVEN-INCH VINYL, follows the evolution of rock and roll music as seen through the eyes of Joseph Rabinowitz and a wealth of other fictional characters. Their personal and professional stories will parallel real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy, all culminating in a groundbreaking reunion concert proving that rock and roll will never die.
My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in a regional magazine, as well as two articles published in local Las Vegas newspapers and one published in a national specialized music periodical.
The completed 140,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)