This came through the Submissions queue. I'm not affiliated with SlushpileReader.com. I did look at the site and think it's laid out nicely and the concept is interesting.
Rick
Hello, what an excellent thing you have going here! I hope you do not mind if I am post some information about Slush Pile Reader here as it might be of interest to your readers and contributors?
Slush Pile Reader is a social community for readers and writers from all over the world.
At www.slushpilereader.com authors are welcome to submit their manuscripts, readers read, comment and vote for their favorites. Slush Pile Reader will then publish the most popular manuscript(s).
Apart from the selection process Slush Pile Reader works like any traditional publisher - we will edit, distribute and market selected books. As such, of course there are no fees or costs involved for the authors what so ever.
Everyone is welcome to submit their manuscripts, become a member and read and vote for their favorite manuscripts. Also, there is a lively forum with interesting discussions, writers tags and a chance to make new friends and talk about writing and reading with interesting people from all over!
Welcome to Slush Pile Reader!
If you have any questions please email me (johanna@slushpilereader.com)
or check out the site at www.slushpilereader.com.
Apr 5, 2010
Apr 1, 2010
QUERY - LOST ANGEL
Dear OpenQuery/Rick,
Some people wonder. They wonder what happens to stillborn babies, or how in the world God manages to listen to millions of prayers a day, or what, exactly, is an angel, and what they look like.
Precocious twelve-year-old Angel Trainee Evangeline Blackwell doesn't need to wonder. She knows it all (or almost). One thing she doesn't know, however is who her parents are. But she intends to find out. And then she does. And it turns out, the truth does hurt, especially when you aren't officially allowed to know. And especially when your best friend is a practiced rule-breaker [troublemaker] and you're the youngest in a group of intelligent and, more importantly, insubordinate friends who insist on dragging you along on their journey along the dangerously fine line between mischievous celestial defiance and open rebellion. When they are caught red-handed breaking yet another rule from God's List of Things an Angel is Not Allowed to Do, things take a turn for the worse and Evangeline and her friends must choose between what they think is right, and what the all-knowing God says is right.
LOST ANGEL, complete at 100,000 words, is a Young Adult Fantasy novel. I am a student currently residing in France and have been writing as a hobby for over five years.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
[Name]
Some people wonder. They wonder what happens to stillborn babies, or how in the world God manages to listen to millions of prayers a day, or what, exactly, is an angel, and what they look like.
Precocious twelve-year-old Angel Trainee Evangeline Blackwell doesn't need to wonder. She knows it all (or almost). One thing she doesn't know, however is who her parents are. But she intends to find out. And then she does. And it turns out, the truth does hurt, especially when you aren't officially allowed to know. And especially when your best friend is a practiced rule-breaker [troublemaker] and you're the youngest in a group of intelligent and, more importantly, insubordinate friends who insist on dragging you along on their journey along the dangerously fine line between mischievous celestial defiance and open rebellion. When they are caught red-handed breaking yet another rule from God's List of Things an Angel is Not Allowed to Do, things take a turn for the worse and Evangeline and her friends must choose between what they think is right, and what the all-knowing God says is right.
LOST ANGEL, complete at 100,000 words, is a Young Adult Fantasy novel. I am a student currently residing in France and have been writing as a hobby for over five years.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
[Name]
Query- To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly
In a parallel world, four coma patients battle for a rainbow butterfly in order to wake up and return to their loved ones in To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly, a contemporary fantasy at 80,000 words.
Three days. Four competitors. One butterfly. One winner. The odds are stacked against 20-year-old Molly Weaver. But despite years of cruelty and neglect, Molly’s determination to find happiness and purpose in life is strong. Open doors lead her to new places while closed doors are off limits. Treacherous weather, dehydration, and tragic memories threaten her. Some of the competitors are willing to kill for the butterfly, putting Molly’s life in further jeopardy. Sharpay Wang, who believes she’s trapped in a hallucination, is the only one eager to help Molly. As time runs short, Molly bonds with her contenders and discovers a connection that ties them together in the real world. Will her feelings get in the way of catching the butterfly or will she figure out a way to save everyone?
In addition to writing novels, I am a playwright. My one-act play, Walking Off Pluto, premiered at the Laurel Mill Playhouse and went on to compete in the Maryland One Act Festival. My full-length play, Samson and Ms. Delilah, was recently selected for the Essential Theatre Playwriting Series. As a writer, it is my ultimate goal to entertain my audience while teaching valuable lessons about life and what it means to be human.
To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly is ready to be sent at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Three days. Four competitors. One butterfly. One winner. The odds are stacked against 20-year-old Molly Weaver. But despite years of cruelty and neglect, Molly’s determination to find happiness and purpose in life is strong. Open doors lead her to new places while closed doors are off limits. Treacherous weather, dehydration, and tragic memories threaten her. Some of the competitors are willing to kill for the butterfly, putting Molly’s life in further jeopardy. Sharpay Wang, who believes she’s trapped in a hallucination, is the only one eager to help Molly. As time runs short, Molly bonds with her contenders and discovers a connection that ties them together in the real world. Will her feelings get in the way of catching the butterfly or will she figure out a way to save everyone?
In addition to writing novels, I am a playwright. My one-act play, Walking Off Pluto, premiered at the Laurel Mill Playhouse and went on to compete in the Maryland One Act Festival. My full-length play, Samson and Ms. Delilah, was recently selected for the Essential Theatre Playwriting Series. As a writer, it is my ultimate goal to entertain my audience while teaching valuable lessons about life and what it means to be human.
To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly is ready to be sent at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Mar 31, 2010
Query- Facets of Sorrow (revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear (Agent’s Name),
Facets of Sorrow is a work of women’s fiction, which is complete at 95,000 words.
Seven months after Gemma Allen’s first date with Aaron Dullis, he takes her to a hotel to celebrate her nineteenth birthday. She falls asleep in his arms, oblivious to the hints he’s been trying to give her: It will be their last night together because when he leaves for his commitment to the Marines, he’s not taking a commitment to her with him. He does leave, and she is heartbroken.
Two years later, Gemma meets Kyle Johnson. She’s not sure what to make of the gorgeous lawyer. Who gives a woman an ant farm on the first date… or any date? He may be odd, but he introduces something new into her life, something she needs: joy.
After a few years of marriage to Kyle, his secretive behavior and mysterious business trips have Gemma convinced he’s not who she thought he was. Her confusion worsens when Aaron returns and says he needs her in his life. She’s not sure which man she should be with – the one who needs her or the one she needs.
When Gemma learns Kyle’s secret, her determination to protect it unfurls a chain of events that land her in a hospital bed, Aaron in handcuffs and Kyle in a legal and ethical dilemma as he tries to clean up the mess they’ve all made.
I have a B.A. in English from the University of Texas. My previous writing experience includes serving as a ghostwriter for Life Builders, a nationwide mentoring ministry.
Thank you for your time and for considering my novel.
Sincerely,
Genevieve Wilson
Dear (Agent’s Name),
Facets of Sorrow is a work of women’s fiction, which is complete at 95,000 words.
Seven months after Gemma Allen’s first date with Aaron Dullis, he takes her to a hotel to celebrate her nineteenth birthday. She falls asleep in his arms, oblivious to the hints he’s been trying to give her: It will be their last night together because when he leaves for his commitment to the Marines, he’s not taking a commitment to her with him. He does leave, and she is heartbroken.
Two years later, Gemma meets Kyle Johnson. She’s not sure what to make of the gorgeous lawyer. Who gives a woman an ant farm on the first date… or any date? He may be odd, but he introduces something new into her life, something she needs: joy.
After a few years of marriage to Kyle, his secretive behavior and mysterious business trips have Gemma convinced he’s not who she thought he was. Her confusion worsens when Aaron returns and says he needs her in his life. She’s not sure which man she should be with – the one who needs her or the one she needs.
When Gemma learns Kyle’s secret, her determination to protect it unfurls a chain of events that land her in a hospital bed, Aaron in handcuffs and Kyle in a legal and ethical dilemma as he tries to clean up the mess they’ve all made.
I have a B.A. in English from the University of Texas. My previous writing experience includes serving as a ghostwriter for Life Builders, a nationwide mentoring ministry.
Thank you for your time and for considering my novel.
Sincerely,
Genevieve Wilson
Mar 30, 2010
QUERY - MIRANDA'S FIRE
Dear Agent,
Miranda Dakin is a modern day Fire Mage three days shy of turning sixteen – the age at which Mages can compete in The Tournament and use magic without supervision. Her already extraordinary life is turned upside down when a horde of supposedly-extinct demons attack The Tournament, killing or kidnapping every adult Mage.
After receiving a message from her Psychic Mage mother, Miranda is charged with rescuing the surviving Mages from a place she was told doesn't exist. She sets off on a cross-country rescue mission with three others: a young man belonging to a race she also thought extinct, her Witch of a best friend, and a powerful young Water Mage she's known since birth.
An intimate betrayal, public demon attacks, and an unexpected affection complicate matters when all Miranda wants is her mother safely back at home. Miranda grapples with a seductive ancient knowledge while discovering most of what she has been taught about her world is a strategic lie.
MIRANDA'S FIRE is a 60,000 word YA urban fantasy novel. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Sarah N. Fisk
Miranda Dakin is a modern day Fire Mage three days shy of turning sixteen – the age at which Mages can compete in The Tournament and use magic without supervision. Her already extraordinary life is turned upside down when a horde of supposedly-extinct demons attack The Tournament, killing or kidnapping every adult Mage.
After receiving a message from her Psychic Mage mother, Miranda is charged with rescuing the surviving Mages from a place she was told doesn't exist. She sets off on a cross-country rescue mission with three others: a young man belonging to a race she also thought extinct, her Witch of a best friend, and a powerful young Water Mage she's known since birth.
An intimate betrayal, public demon attacks, and an unexpected affection complicate matters when all Miranda wants is her mother safely back at home. Miranda grapples with a seductive ancient knowledge while discovering most of what she has been taught about her world is a strategic lie.
MIRANDA'S FIRE is a 60,000 word YA urban fantasy novel. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Sarah N. Fisk
Query for YA fantasy: THE DESTINY STONE
Dear Agent,
Ploughing the fields was a part of daily life for seventeen-year-old Haythem. He dreams of adventure, but never expects to leave Turig until the day his mother appears – a mother he grew up believing dead. She pleads with him to leave at once, telling him he needs to find the courage to embrace his destiny and to assume his rightful place among her people the Elves. Haythem is curious to learn more and so he leaves, taking with him an old map and a stone she cautions him to protect.
With the help of Arygos, a mysterious young man, and Tarquin, an ancient creature of great wisdom, Haythem uncovers the truth about the stone and how the King’s desire to possess it is connected to unrest in the Empire. He also learns the stone gives him the power to wield magic. This newfound knowledge forces Haythem to come face to face with the true legacy of the stone. He is disturbed by what he discovers – the stone is an extension of his own magic and if he is to have mastery over it he must bind himself to its will in order to rid the Empire of the cruel King.
THE DESTINY STONE is a fast paced young adult fantasy and is complete at 115,000 words. It explores the joy of love, the pain of loss and the power of courage and sacrifice. I have a M.A. in anthropology and have experience teaching university level Sociology and Anthropology courses.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Aspiring Writer
Ploughing the fields was a part of daily life for seventeen-year-old Haythem. He dreams of adventure, but never expects to leave Turig until the day his mother appears – a mother he grew up believing dead. She pleads with him to leave at once, telling him he needs to find the courage to embrace his destiny and to assume his rightful place among her people the Elves. Haythem is curious to learn more and so he leaves, taking with him an old map and a stone she cautions him to protect.
With the help of Arygos, a mysterious young man, and Tarquin, an ancient creature of great wisdom, Haythem uncovers the truth about the stone and how the King’s desire to possess it is connected to unrest in the Empire. He also learns the stone gives him the power to wield magic. This newfound knowledge forces Haythem to come face to face with the true legacy of the stone. He is disturbed by what he discovers – the stone is an extension of his own magic and if he is to have mastery over it he must bind himself to its will in order to rid the Empire of the cruel King.
THE DESTINY STONE is a fast paced young adult fantasy and is complete at 115,000 words. It explores the joy of love, the pain of loss and the power of courage and sacrifice. I have a M.A. in anthropology and have experience teaching university level Sociology and Anthropology courses.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Aspiring Writer
QUERY - DIARY OF A HOT PINK PARTY GIRL
Click here to read the sample pages.
In only a few months, sixteen year-old Tawny Childers has gone from major slacker to straight A student, but convincing anyone that she’s shed the hard core, party girl reputation is going to take more than good grades.
Her mother’s commitment to give up drinking inspired Tawny to change her own life. While spending the summer in an anonymous support group, Tawny shares an unlikely friendship with star quarterback, Drew Strunkler.
But when junior year begins, neither can allow their very different paths to cross. Drew’s father, like Tawny’s mother is a recently recovered alcoholic, but he’s also a teacher at their school. Revealing Coach Strunkler’s secret is too big a risk for Tawny and Drew to attempt an in-school friendship, not to mention Drew’s cheer bitch girlfriend and Tawny share the common ground of complete hatred for one another.
Now Tawny’s alone, trying to find a new place among hundreds of students who see nothing but the easy girl any guy could nail. At least that’s what’s written on the walls of the boy’s locker room.
She’s thrilled when the editor of the school paper requests her anonymous blog be a part of the Warrior News. Hot Pink Party Girl becomes a huge hit among her classmates. Tawny knows she’s fooling them into seeing the ugliest side to her wild days- alcohol, drugs, and more than a few random hookups.
When Tawny’s feelings for Drew deepen, it doesn’t go unnoticed and only takes a little snooping for someone to discover the truth about Drew’s father and force Tawny into telling her story – the whole story. Hearing details about her past with the clarity of being sober is like reliving it and threatens to send her spiraling back to old habits.
The biggest challenge lies in convincing herself she truly isn’t that girl and maybe she is worthy of having a guy like Drew Strunkler love her back or anyone for that matter. DIARY OF A HOT PINK PARTY GIRL is a young adult novel complete at 80,000 words.
In only a few months, sixteen year-old Tawny Childers has gone from major slacker to straight A student, but convincing anyone that she’s shed the hard core, party girl reputation is going to take more than good grades.
Her mother’s commitment to give up drinking inspired Tawny to change her own life. While spending the summer in an anonymous support group, Tawny shares an unlikely friendship with star quarterback, Drew Strunkler.
But when junior year begins, neither can allow their very different paths to cross. Drew’s father, like Tawny’s mother is a recently recovered alcoholic, but he’s also a teacher at their school. Revealing Coach Strunkler’s secret is too big a risk for Tawny and Drew to attempt an in-school friendship, not to mention Drew’s cheer bitch girlfriend and Tawny share the common ground of complete hatred for one another.
Now Tawny’s alone, trying to find a new place among hundreds of students who see nothing but the easy girl any guy could nail. At least that’s what’s written on the walls of the boy’s locker room.
She’s thrilled when the editor of the school paper requests her anonymous blog be a part of the Warrior News. Hot Pink Party Girl becomes a huge hit among her classmates. Tawny knows she’s fooling them into seeing the ugliest side to her wild days- alcohol, drugs, and more than a few random hookups.
When Tawny’s feelings for Drew deepen, it doesn’t go unnoticed and only takes a little snooping for someone to discover the truth about Drew’s father and force Tawny into telling her story – the whole story. Hearing details about her past with the clarity of being sober is like reliving it and threatens to send her spiraling back to old habits.
The biggest challenge lies in convincing herself she truly isn’t that girl and maybe she is worthy of having a guy like Drew Strunkler love her back or anyone for that matter. DIARY OF A HOT PINK PARTY GIRL is a young adult novel complete at 80,000 words.
QUERY - MEND (Revised)
Click here to read the original query.
He attacks. He springs upon his victims with hatred and blind fury, slashing their bodies and shredding the peace of The City Too Busy to Hate. He kills. With no evidence left behind, four Atlanta families have fallen in his wake, and he is not finished.
Fifteen years have passed since the day Jacob Santos opened his eyes and found his mother brutally murdered. For years he has been tormented by an unattainable desire for revenge. Unattainable, until now. Following a murder in a downtown Atlanta neighborhood, a murder that mirrors his mother’s, Jacob receives a message:
“Got another for you.”
It is an invitation from the man Jacob has spent his entire adult life envisioning killing; a provocation to come out and play a deadly game of cat and mouse. And Jacob does just that. The only help the self-proclaimed investigator receives comes from an unorthodox source; the ghost of a childhood friend that haunts both him and the killer alike. Hidden behind the specter’s cryptic messages lays the true link between the hunter and the hunted, and the only means to decipher which is which.
However, unveiling the secret might come at too high a price for the lone investigator’s fragile mind, since the killer he so desperately seeks has never been further than a mere glimpse in the mirror. Now Jacob must find a way to mend is fractured psyche, before the police catch up to him, before another family is slaughtered, before his mind and his soul are lost forever. He cannot fail. Doing so will turn him from the best hope to stop the killings, and into the catalyst of an unprecedented murderous rampage.
He attacks. He springs upon his victims with hatred and blind fury, slashing their bodies and shredding the peace of The City Too Busy to Hate. He kills. With no evidence left behind, four Atlanta families have fallen in his wake, and he is not finished.
Fifteen years have passed since the day Jacob Santos opened his eyes and found his mother brutally murdered. For years he has been tormented by an unattainable desire for revenge. Unattainable, until now. Following a murder in a downtown Atlanta neighborhood, a murder that mirrors his mother’s, Jacob receives a message:
“Got another for you.”
It is an invitation from the man Jacob has spent his entire adult life envisioning killing; a provocation to come out and play a deadly game of cat and mouse. And Jacob does just that. The only help the self-proclaimed investigator receives comes from an unorthodox source; the ghost of a childhood friend that haunts both him and the killer alike. Hidden behind the specter’s cryptic messages lays the true link between the hunter and the hunted, and the only means to decipher which is which.
However, unveiling the secret might come at too high a price for the lone investigator’s fragile mind, since the killer he so desperately seeks has never been further than a mere glimpse in the mirror. Now Jacob must find a way to mend is fractured psyche, before the police catch up to him, before another family is slaughtered, before his mind and his soul are lost forever. He cannot fail. Doing so will turn him from the best hope to stop the killings, and into the catalyst of an unprecedented murderous rampage.
Query- THE DESTINY STONE
Dear Agent,
Ploughing the fields was a part of daily life for seventeen-year-old Haythem. He dreams of adventure, but never expects to leave Turig until the day his mother appears – a mother he grew up believing dead. She pleads with him to leave at once, telling him he needs to find the courage to embrace his destiny and to assume his rightful place among her people the Elves. Haythem is curious to learn more and so he leaves, taking with him an old map and a stone she cautions him to protect.
With the help of Arygos, a mysterious young man, and Tarquin, an ancient creature of great wisdom, Haythem uncovers the truth about the stone and how the King's desire to possess it, is connected to unrest in the Empire. He also learns the stone gives him the power to wield magic. This newfound knowledge forces Haythem to come face to face with the true legacy of the stone. He is disturbed by what he discovers – the stone is an extension of his own magic and if he is to have mastery over it he must bind himself to its will in order to rid the Empire of the cruel King and fulfill his destiny.
THE DESTINY STONE is a fast-paced young adult fantasy and is complete at 115,000 words. It explores the joy of love, the pain of loss and the power of courage and sacrifice. I have a M.A. in anthropology and have experience teaching university level Sociology and Anthropology courses.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Aspiring Writer
Don't miss a beat Get Messenger on your phone
Ploughing the fields was a part of daily life for seventeen-year-old Haythem. He dreams of adventure, but never expects to leave Turig until the day his mother appears – a mother he grew up believing dead. She pleads with him to leave at once, telling him he needs to find the courage to embrace his destiny and to assume his rightful place among her people the Elves. Haythem is curious to learn more and so he leaves, taking with him an old map and a stone she cautions him to protect.
With the help of Arygos, a mysterious young man, and Tarquin, an ancient creature of great wisdom, Haythem uncovers the truth about the stone and how the King's desire to possess it, is connected to unrest in the Empire. He also learns the stone gives him the power to wield magic. This newfound knowledge forces Haythem to come face to face with the true legacy of the stone. He is disturbed by what he discovers – the stone is an extension of his own magic and if he is to have mastery over it he must bind himself to its will in order to rid the Empire of the cruel King and fulfill his destiny.
THE DESTINY STONE is a fast-paced young adult fantasy and is complete at 115,000 words. It explores the joy of love, the pain of loss and the power of courage and sacrifice. I have a M.A. in anthropology and have experience teaching university level Sociology and Anthropology courses.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Aspiring Writer
Don't miss a beat Get Messenger on your phone
Mar 29, 2010
QUERY - MOURN THEIR COURAGE
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Liu Jie fears losing family members more than anything, so he raises an army when his nephew, the Ron Emperor, requires protection from Yellow Turban rebels. With the help of Aiyu, an orphaned boy Jie saved, the rebels are destroyed. However, Jie does not believe they were the Emperor’s true threat. He suspects the Imperial Chancellor intends to usurp the throne. Rather than waging war and risking the lives of thousands, Jie attacks the Chancellor during a chance meeting. The attack fails and Jie, his family and Aiyu flee, continuing their struggle to survive amidst drought and warfare. Bitter loss continues to overshadow Jie until he must choose between the safety of his family or his Empire’s survival.
MOURN THEIR COURAGE is a 94,000-word fantasy based on Chinese folktales collectively called “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms.” Though adapted for film, comics and video game serialization, there are no modern English novelizations of this treasure. MOURN THEIR COURAGE may interest fans of Eric Flint, Cindy Pon and Guy Gavriel Kay and is similar in setting to Kay’s “Under Heaven,” due April 27th.
I have published fiction in several online publications and am a member of the Wuxia Society and The China History Forum Online, where I contribute book reviews. I am also an active book reviewer on two blogs.
Saving an orphan launches Jie on an epic journey where ghosts are guides and heroes are traitors. I invite you to experience MOURN THEIR COURAGE. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I look forward to your suggestions.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Liu Jie fears losing family members more than anything, so he raises an army when his nephew, the Ron Emperor, requires protection from Yellow Turban rebels. With the help of Aiyu, an orphaned boy Jie saved, the rebels are destroyed. However, Jie does not believe they were the Emperor’s true threat. He suspects the Imperial Chancellor intends to usurp the throne. Rather than waging war and risking the lives of thousands, Jie attacks the Chancellor during a chance meeting. The attack fails and Jie, his family and Aiyu flee, continuing their struggle to survive amidst drought and warfare. Bitter loss continues to overshadow Jie until he must choose between the safety of his family or his Empire’s survival.
MOURN THEIR COURAGE is a 94,000-word fantasy based on Chinese folktales collectively called “The Romance of the Three Kingdoms.” Though adapted for film, comics and video game serialization, there are no modern English novelizations of this treasure. MOURN THEIR COURAGE may interest fans of Eric Flint, Cindy Pon and Guy Gavriel Kay and is similar in setting to Kay’s “Under Heaven,” due April 27th.
I have published fiction in several online publications and am a member of the Wuxia Society and The China History Forum Online, where I contribute book reviews. I am also an active book reviewer on two blogs.
Saving an orphan launches Jie on an epic journey where ghosts are guides and heroes are traitors. I invite you to experience MOURN THEIR COURAGE. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I look forward to your suggestions.
Mar 26, 2010
Query- Snare
College freshman Chloe Shepherd’s knows that guys like Dylan Hughes don’t fall for girls like her. So, when he seems equally smitten, Chloe is ecstatic – and totally unprepared for the girl in the corridor. She grills Chloe about her date with Dylan, finishing with a terse, “Don’t like him too much. The last girl who did ended up dead.”
The words ring in Chloe’s head. Are they a warning or a sinister promise? She can’t ask Dylan; he doesn’t speak to her now. He won’t even look at her as they sit next to each other in class. Yet months later Dylan confesses that he’s missed her, and Chloe dives headlong into his words despite his admission that the dead girlfriend is the least of it. She’s been waiting for this, and if that explosive first kiss is anything to go by, so has he.
But, Dylan warns her – he’s still not a good bet. That hasn’t changed. He and his family are part of the great Rayhm clan of witches; the symbol of the clan burned into his skin is testament to how very powerful he is. Yet, to Chloe, they are just two ordinary people falling extraordinarily in love.
Who knows how long it might have stayed that way if she hadn’t eavesdropped on him in the library? Now she realizes what he’s been keeping from her. For every secret he’s revealed, there’s a deeper one. Because of her, Dylan will be forced to defend his birthright. Chloe is the only person in the world who can give him the one thing he’s never wanted – the power to rule the Rayhm.
Snare is a YA/New Adult paranormal romance, complete at 94,000 words.
Personal info below.
Thank you for your consideration.
Brenda St John Brown
The words ring in Chloe’s head. Are they a warning or a sinister promise? She can’t ask Dylan; he doesn’t speak to her now. He won’t even look at her as they sit next to each other in class. Yet months later Dylan confesses that he’s missed her, and Chloe dives headlong into his words despite his admission that the dead girlfriend is the least of it. She’s been waiting for this, and if that explosive first kiss is anything to go by, so has he.
But, Dylan warns her – he’s still not a good bet. That hasn’t changed. He and his family are part of the great Rayhm clan of witches; the symbol of the clan burned into his skin is testament to how very powerful he is. Yet, to Chloe, they are just two ordinary people falling extraordinarily in love.
Who knows how long it might have stayed that way if she hadn’t eavesdropped on him in the library? Now she realizes what he’s been keeping from her. For every secret he’s revealed, there’s a deeper one. Because of her, Dylan will be forced to defend his birthright. Chloe is the only person in the world who can give him the one thing he’s never wanted – the power to rule the Rayhm.
Snare is a YA/New Adult paranormal romance, complete at 94,000 words.
Personal info below.
Thank you for your consideration.
Brenda St John Brown
QUERY- IRON THIRST - Urban Fantasy
Click here to read the last query.
*trying something new here. Want to see if less is more - or just more confusing.*
Dear Most Awesome Agent Ever,
The why I picked you paragraph.
Looking for an escape from the norm, Felicity Johnson dresses for trouble, and finds it when she attends DragonCon – the convention that celebrates everything sci-fi and fantasy. Felicity meets a love interest, discovers the dead body of a friend, and stumbles over a real vampire, who develops a thirst for the iron running through her veins. The trip that started as a search for adventure leads her down a path that could leave her either dead or with the ultimate makeover, one that can't be undone without a stake to the heart.
Iron Thirst is an 88,000 word urban fantasy. I am a member of the Atlanta Writers Club and Sisters in Crime.
Sincerely,
Would be nicest client ever.
*trying something new here. Want to see if less is more - or just more confusing.*
Dear Most Awesome Agent Ever,
The why I picked you paragraph.
Looking for an escape from the norm, Felicity Johnson dresses for trouble, and finds it when she attends DragonCon – the convention that celebrates everything sci-fi and fantasy. Felicity meets a love interest, discovers the dead body of a friend, and stumbles over a real vampire, who develops a thirst for the iron running through her veins. The trip that started as a search for adventure leads her down a path that could leave her either dead or with the ultimate makeover, one that can't be undone without a stake to the heart.
Iron Thirst is an 88,000 word urban fantasy. I am a member of the Atlanta Writers Club and Sisters in Crime.
Sincerely,
Would be nicest client ever.
sample pages -DIARY OF A HOT PINK PARTY GIRL
I should have known Drew Strunkler, Skunkler, would morph into a big, giant douche bag the second school started. Like I was just some fly he could flick right off his shoulder. I mean, seriously, the guy wasn’t even capable of intelligent thought.
As if to prove my point, he was trying to kick a football over the roof of the school building with his other brainless jock friends.
I tugged at the collar of my shirt, feeling the heat creep all the way up to my face. Ugh! Did my eyes actually light up when I saw him? It didn’t matter because Drew Strunkler was too busy winning a bet. I wonder which pinhead will have to moon poor Mrs. Elkin, the librarian.
“The book lady’s gonna get another piece of ass today, huh?”
Alex Stoner slid into the bench beside me and I turned to him and laughed. “You would think she’d wear a blindfold by now, with all the butt cracks she’s had flashed in front of her.”
We watched Drew back up, his face tight with concentration. The broad and brawny William Peckman (aka – Pecker), with his tiny head and giant body held the football upright in the grass by his fingertips. A guy that huge had to be covering some other insecurity, like a small penis.
With a graceful swing of his leg, Drew’s foot made perfect contact with the ball and it sailed over the roof.
“Damn,” Pecker muttered.
Drew punched him in the arm, laughing like the stupid-ass idiot he was. “Somebody’s dropping his pants today.”
And just like that, his eyes turned in my direction and paused.
“Tawny,” Alex whispered. “Did Strunkler just look at you?”
I shrugged, but my heart was pounding. “Yeah, for about a quarter of a second.”
Alex flipped back the mop of dark, curly hair falling in his eyes. “Looked like he was checking you out.”
“Like I care. Let’s go inside, its five minutes till homeroom.” I was nearly twenty feet away before I realized Alex wasn’t following. He stood in the middle of the grass gaping at me like an imbecile. “What?”
He shook his head and grinned. “Sorry, I’m still not used to the good Tawny. The one who actually cares about being on time.”
“I’ve been here all summer. Caring about school has become an annoying habit.” I reached for the door, but another hand beat me to it. Both Alex and I jumped back as Drew Strunkler flung the door open. His gaze went straight over my head and then he turned quickly and raced into the school building before us.
“So rude,” Alex said.
I sucked in a breath wishing I was less observant. The way his eyes conveniently traveled over my head when we should have been face-to-face. It was intentional. He planned to ignore me on the first day of school.
I groaned. It sucks to care.
Alex and I headed to my locker when Mr. Feldman the vice principal jumped in front of us, blocking my way. “Miss Childers, I see an entire summer hasn’t knocked some sense into you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I responded.
Alex snorted back laughter and I jabbed my elbow into his side.
Mr. Feldman shoved his glasses further up his nose and returned to crossing his arms. “I’m referring to your blatant disregard for school dress code.”
He picked up a lock of my blonde hair, the chunk with the pink streak and tugged on it. I jerked away from his touch. “Actually, I decided to make it permanent over the summer.”
“Detention, today after school,” he growled.
“I’d die before I missed spending an afternoon with you.” We ran around him and blended in with the mob of students, all dressed in navy and khaki, flooding the halls.
***
By the time I collapsed into my seat for study hall it was apparent that junior year was going to be a much bigger pill to swallow than last year. And to top it off, Drew Strunkler and Pecker sat right behind me.
Damn!
I pulled out a magazine and lifted my black boots onto the table, relieved to have forty minutes of peace before yet another mind-numbing class.
“Hey Strunk, listen to this,” Pecker said to Drew from behind me.
I glanced under my arm and saw his cell phone lay on his lap.
“Hey everyone and happy first day of school,” Pecker read aloud. “Hot Pink Party girl has had one busy summer. Do you realize how many guys are willing to get to second base while completely loaded? Yeah, pretty much all of them. Okay, so one turned me down and I had to listen to him yap and quote biblical scripture for twenty tortuous minutes. If that doesn’t put out your fire, I don’t know what does. My summer total was over fifty guys and let me tell you I’ve seen more little firemen (some smaller than others) in three months than I thought possible-”
“Quiet Mr. Peckman! This is study hall!” the teacher shouted from the front of the large lecture hall.
“Dude, this chick sounds so hot. I’d love to nail her,” Pecker whispered to Drew.
They both chuckled and I turned a little, lowering my copy of National Geographic just enough to lift one eyebrow in Drew’s direction.
A silent warning.
His smile faded and he dropped his gaze to the Algebra book in front of him. I stifled a laugh. That’s right, be afraid, be very afraid ‘cause I know all your secrets Drew Strunkler. All your virgin secrets.
***
“You do realize I won’t budge on school dress code,” Mr. Feldman said to me as I walked into detention.
“She knows,” Alex said.
I grinned at him. “How did you end up in here?”
“What are friends for? Couldn’t leave you all by yourself.”
In other words, he wasn’t going to tell me in front of Mr. Feldman. We moved to the back of the room and scooted our desks closer together.
“Okay, so I was in the locker room changing after gym class.” Alex made a face. Hand eye coordination was not something he’d been blessed with so gym was torture for a kid like him. “Anyway, Strunkler and what’s that dude’s name? The one that hikes the ball to the thrower guy?”
I laughed. Alex had only been at West Montgomery High for a year and didn’t know everyone’s name like I did. Nor did he have any knowledge of football. “You’re talking about the center and his name is Patrick Johnson.”
“Right, Strunkler and Johnson were tossing towels over the lockers and they still hadn’t changed yet out of their gym clothes. Johnson was being an ass, shoving all the freshman midgets out of his way and so I just snatched his clothes off the bench when he wasn’t looking and tossed them in an open locker.”
“You didn’t!”
He nodded proudly. “It was an unassigned locker and since we’ve got those built in locks, he had to go out of the changing room in a towel to Coach Strunkler’s office to have him look up the combination.”
I busted out laughing and Mr. Feldman glared in our direction. “Alex, you are far braver than I ever gave you credit for.”
He beamed. “It was a shining moment.”
“Yeah, just like winning an Olympic medal.” I lowered my voice. “So you have Coach Strunkler for P.E.?”
“Yeah, why?”
“So Drew’s in his dad’s class?”
“Hey, if it isn’t the legend, Tawny Childers.”
I spun in my chair to face the wild haired boy. “Lenny, I thought you were dropping out.”
“My parents say they’ll keep making my car payments if I pass most of my classes.”
“Cool,” I said.
“You missed an awesome party last night,” Lenny said.
“Why don’t you fill me in,” I said.
His face broke into vacant, “I’m drunk off my ass,” stupid grin that hadn’t changed in two years. Mostly because Lenny hadn’t changed. “Well, my brother pulled through and got us a keg. Razor’s band played and they were so on fire. This chick they’ve got singing for them is like . . . mega hot.”
I listened intently for at least ten minutes, absorbing every detail of that party. The old Tawny’s life. The one I still struggled to shed.
“It was a damn good party,” Alex said. “A lot of people asked about you.”
Lenny leaned his head closer to me and Alex. “I’ve got a massive bottle of Jack Daniels in the back of my car. You guys want to drive out to the lake after this school shit is over?”
Alex looked at me and shrugged, but I shook my head. “I’ve got a meeting.”
“Bummer. Sucks to be you, all academic and committed. How do you survive?” Lenny asked.
I rolled my eyes. “People survive one school day without getting loaded. I’m not a freakin’ saint or anything.”
Lenny put a hand over his heart. “You’re my hero, Tawny.”
Feldman was glaring again so Lenny turned back to the open text book on his desk. He raised it up a little and slipped a copy of Hustler inside. So predictable.
Alex nudged me in the shoulder. “You’re still doing that group thing?” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“All summer, while I was gone?”
“Yes.” I blew the hair off my face, trying to give off the leave-me-alone-vibe.
“Don’t they have bring a friend day or something?”
“Why would they have that? And why are you so curious all of a sudden?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s like this big part of your life and you could be at a strip club for all I know.”
“Why would I be at a strip club?”
“Quit answering my questions with a question. At least tell me where it is.”
This was a joke to him. It was last year and it still is. “You know I can’t do that.”
“What if I needed to join? Is anybody I know in your group?”
I turned my eyes away from him and pulled out one of the many thick textbooks taking up space in my bag. “You don’t need to go. And there’s no one you know.”
“Whatever,” he said.
He was pissed. But even if I wanted to tell him, I couldn’t.
As if to prove my point, he was trying to kick a football over the roof of the school building with his other brainless jock friends.
I tugged at the collar of my shirt, feeling the heat creep all the way up to my face. Ugh! Did my eyes actually light up when I saw him? It didn’t matter because Drew Strunkler was too busy winning a bet. I wonder which pinhead will have to moon poor Mrs. Elkin, the librarian.
“The book lady’s gonna get another piece of ass today, huh?”
Alex Stoner slid into the bench beside me and I turned to him and laughed. “You would think she’d wear a blindfold by now, with all the butt cracks she’s had flashed in front of her.”
We watched Drew back up, his face tight with concentration. The broad and brawny William Peckman (aka – Pecker), with his tiny head and giant body held the football upright in the grass by his fingertips. A guy that huge had to be covering some other insecurity, like a small penis.
With a graceful swing of his leg, Drew’s foot made perfect contact with the ball and it sailed over the roof.
“Damn,” Pecker muttered.
Drew punched him in the arm, laughing like the stupid-ass idiot he was. “Somebody’s dropping his pants today.”
And just like that, his eyes turned in my direction and paused.
“Tawny,” Alex whispered. “Did Strunkler just look at you?”
I shrugged, but my heart was pounding. “Yeah, for about a quarter of a second.”
Alex flipped back the mop of dark, curly hair falling in his eyes. “Looked like he was checking you out.”
“Like I care. Let’s go inside, its five minutes till homeroom.” I was nearly twenty feet away before I realized Alex wasn’t following. He stood in the middle of the grass gaping at me like an imbecile. “What?”
He shook his head and grinned. “Sorry, I’m still not used to the good Tawny. The one who actually cares about being on time.”
“I’ve been here all summer. Caring about school has become an annoying habit.” I reached for the door, but another hand beat me to it. Both Alex and I jumped back as Drew Strunkler flung the door open. His gaze went straight over my head and then he turned quickly and raced into the school building before us.
“So rude,” Alex said.
I sucked in a breath wishing I was less observant. The way his eyes conveniently traveled over my head when we should have been face-to-face. It was intentional. He planned to ignore me on the first day of school.
I groaned. It sucks to care.
Alex and I headed to my locker when Mr. Feldman the vice principal jumped in front of us, blocking my way. “Miss Childers, I see an entire summer hasn’t knocked some sense into you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I responded.
Alex snorted back laughter and I jabbed my elbow into his side.
Mr. Feldman shoved his glasses further up his nose and returned to crossing his arms. “I’m referring to your blatant disregard for school dress code.”
He picked up a lock of my blonde hair, the chunk with the pink streak and tugged on it. I jerked away from his touch. “Actually, I decided to make it permanent over the summer.”
“Detention, today after school,” he growled.
“I’d die before I missed spending an afternoon with you.” We ran around him and blended in with the mob of students, all dressed in navy and khaki, flooding the halls.
***
By the time I collapsed into my seat for study hall it was apparent that junior year was going to be a much bigger pill to swallow than last year. And to top it off, Drew Strunkler and Pecker sat right behind me.
Damn!
I pulled out a magazine and lifted my black boots onto the table, relieved to have forty minutes of peace before yet another mind-numbing class.
“Hey Strunk, listen to this,” Pecker said to Drew from behind me.
I glanced under my arm and saw his cell phone lay on his lap.
“Hey everyone and happy first day of school,” Pecker read aloud. “Hot Pink Party girl has had one busy summer. Do you realize how many guys are willing to get to second base while completely loaded? Yeah, pretty much all of them. Okay, so one turned me down and I had to listen to him yap and quote biblical scripture for twenty tortuous minutes. If that doesn’t put out your fire, I don’t know what does. My summer total was over fifty guys and let me tell you I’ve seen more little firemen (some smaller than others) in three months than I thought possible-”
“Quiet Mr. Peckman! This is study hall!” the teacher shouted from the front of the large lecture hall.
“Dude, this chick sounds so hot. I’d love to nail her,” Pecker whispered to Drew.
They both chuckled and I turned a little, lowering my copy of National Geographic just enough to lift one eyebrow in Drew’s direction.
A silent warning.
His smile faded and he dropped his gaze to the Algebra book in front of him. I stifled a laugh. That’s right, be afraid, be very afraid ‘cause I know all your secrets Drew Strunkler. All your virgin secrets.
***
“You do realize I won’t budge on school dress code,” Mr. Feldman said to me as I walked into detention.
“She knows,” Alex said.
I grinned at him. “How did you end up in here?”
“What are friends for? Couldn’t leave you all by yourself.”
In other words, he wasn’t going to tell me in front of Mr. Feldman. We moved to the back of the room and scooted our desks closer together.
“Okay, so I was in the locker room changing after gym class.” Alex made a face. Hand eye coordination was not something he’d been blessed with so gym was torture for a kid like him. “Anyway, Strunkler and what’s that dude’s name? The one that hikes the ball to the thrower guy?”
I laughed. Alex had only been at West Montgomery High for a year and didn’t know everyone’s name like I did. Nor did he have any knowledge of football. “You’re talking about the center and his name is Patrick Johnson.”
“Right, Strunkler and Johnson were tossing towels over the lockers and they still hadn’t changed yet out of their gym clothes. Johnson was being an ass, shoving all the freshman midgets out of his way and so I just snatched his clothes off the bench when he wasn’t looking and tossed them in an open locker.”
“You didn’t!”
He nodded proudly. “It was an unassigned locker and since we’ve got those built in locks, he had to go out of the changing room in a towel to Coach Strunkler’s office to have him look up the combination.”
I busted out laughing and Mr. Feldman glared in our direction. “Alex, you are far braver than I ever gave you credit for.”
He beamed. “It was a shining moment.”
“Yeah, just like winning an Olympic medal.” I lowered my voice. “So you have Coach Strunkler for P.E.?”
“Yeah, why?”
“So Drew’s in his dad’s class?”
“Hey, if it isn’t the legend, Tawny Childers.”
I spun in my chair to face the wild haired boy. “Lenny, I thought you were dropping out.”
“My parents say they’ll keep making my car payments if I pass most of my classes.”
“Cool,” I said.
“You missed an awesome party last night,” Lenny said.
“Why don’t you fill me in,” I said.
His face broke into vacant, “I’m drunk off my ass,” stupid grin that hadn’t changed in two years. Mostly because Lenny hadn’t changed. “Well, my brother pulled through and got us a keg. Razor’s band played and they were so on fire. This chick they’ve got singing for them is like . . . mega hot.”
I listened intently for at least ten minutes, absorbing every detail of that party. The old Tawny’s life. The one I still struggled to shed.
“It was a damn good party,” Alex said. “A lot of people asked about you.”
Lenny leaned his head closer to me and Alex. “I’ve got a massive bottle of Jack Daniels in the back of my car. You guys want to drive out to the lake after this school shit is over?”
Alex looked at me and shrugged, but I shook my head. “I’ve got a meeting.”
“Bummer. Sucks to be you, all academic and committed. How do you survive?” Lenny asked.
I rolled my eyes. “People survive one school day without getting loaded. I’m not a freakin’ saint or anything.”
Lenny put a hand over his heart. “You’re my hero, Tawny.”
Feldman was glaring again so Lenny turned back to the open text book on his desk. He raised it up a little and slipped a copy of Hustler inside. So predictable.
Alex nudged me in the shoulder. “You’re still doing that group thing?” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“All summer, while I was gone?”
“Yes.” I blew the hair off my face, trying to give off the leave-me-alone-vibe.
“Don’t they have bring a friend day or something?”
“Why would they have that? And why are you so curious all of a sudden?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s like this big part of your life and you could be at a strip club for all I know.”
“Why would I be at a strip club?”
“Quit answering my questions with a question. At least tell me where it is.”
This was a joke to him. It was last year and it still is. “You know I can’t do that.”
“What if I needed to join? Is anybody I know in your group?”
I turned my eyes away from him and pulled out one of the many thick textbooks taking up space in my bag. “You don’t need to go. And there’s no one you know.”
“Whatever,” he said.
He was pissed. But even if I wanted to tell him, I couldn’t.
Mar 24, 2010
Query- Launch On Need
Dear (Agent),
For more than two decades, NASA launch-imaging expert Ken Brown complained to upper management that debris would eventually bring down a shuttle. They didn’t listen. Brown could only watch as wayward pieces of foam and falling daggers of ice, threatened to wreck his birds.
Then on January 17th, 2003, Brown’s worst fear is realized while reviewing the previous day’s launch film: a small-suitcase-sized debris chunk smashed into Columbia’s wing during her ride to orbit.
Brown knows that if Columbia’s heat shield has been damaged, that in fourteen days the seven person international crew will perish in the inferno of reentry.
Although Brown contacts the necessary NASA officials about his findings, he is skeptical that sufficient action will be taken by management in time to save the crew. He decides to leak his findings to his friend John Stangley, a former CNN senior science correspondent.
NASA suddenly finds itself forced to respond to the international media’s demand for answers. Satellite imaging of Columbia is ordered, but the photos prove inconclusive. NASA then calls on two Columbia astronauts to perform an emergency wing inspection spacewalk, that reveals catastrophic wing damage.
NASA is challenged to solve the highest profile problem they’ve ever faced. The whole world watches and waits while NASA figures out how and if, it can safely bring the crew home.
The Columbia Accident Investigation Board was formed only hours after Columbia’s break-up February 1st, 2003. NASA engineers were asked by the Board if anything could have been done to save the crew. The Board’s final report published late 2003, contained a 22 page document created by NASA engineers, that outlined in detail how the crew might have been rescued.
Launch On Need, complete at 98,000 words, is a fictionalization of NASA’s rescue plan.
Thank you for your time considering my project for representation.
Sincerely,
Daniel Guiteras
(Address)
(Phone)
For more than two decades, NASA launch-imaging expert Ken Brown complained to upper management that debris would eventually bring down a shuttle. They didn’t listen. Brown could only watch as wayward pieces of foam and falling daggers of ice, threatened to wreck his birds.
Then on January 17th, 2003, Brown’s worst fear is realized while reviewing the previous day’s launch film: a small-suitcase-sized debris chunk smashed into Columbia’s wing during her ride to orbit.
Brown knows that if Columbia’s heat shield has been damaged, that in fourteen days the seven person international crew will perish in the inferno of reentry.
Although Brown contacts the necessary NASA officials about his findings, he is skeptical that sufficient action will be taken by management in time to save the crew. He decides to leak his findings to his friend John Stangley, a former CNN senior science correspondent.
NASA suddenly finds itself forced to respond to the international media’s demand for answers. Satellite imaging of Columbia is ordered, but the photos prove inconclusive. NASA then calls on two Columbia astronauts to perform an emergency wing inspection spacewalk, that reveals catastrophic wing damage.
NASA is challenged to solve the highest profile problem they’ve ever faced. The whole world watches and waits while NASA figures out how and if, it can safely bring the crew home.
The Columbia Accident Investigation Board was formed only hours after Columbia’s break-up February 1st, 2003. NASA engineers were asked by the Board if anything could have been done to save the crew. The Board’s final report published late 2003, contained a 22 page document created by NASA engineers, that outlined in detail how the crew might have been rescued.
Launch On Need, complete at 98,000 words, is a fictionalization of NASA’s rescue plan.
Thank you for your time considering my project for representation.
Sincerely,
Daniel Guiteras
(Address)
(Phone)
Query- Facets of Sorrow
Dear (Agent’s Name),
Thank you for allowing me to introduce my novel to you. Facets of Sorrow is a work of women’s fiction, which is complete at 95,000 words.
Gemma Allen knows sorrow – she knows him well. He overwhelmed her with his confidence, seduced her with his charm and injured her with his strength. His name is Aaron Dullis, and if she would just stop needing him maybe he could stop loving her. She refuses to give him that satisfaction.
When Gemma meets Kyle Johnson, she thinks he’s the one person who can bring her joy, and he does. The problem with loving two men, however, is that she’s not sure how to balance her need for each of them with her desire for them both. It seems an impossible choice – maybe it is, but she knows she must choose.
Gemma and Kyle marry, but after a few years of marriage his secretive behavior and mysterious business trips have Gemma convinced he’s not who she thought he was. She’s right. He has a past of his own, full of his own sorrow and regret. When Gemma is forced to protect Kyle’s secret, she makes decisions that land her in a hospital bed, Aaron in handcuffs and Kyle in a legal and ethical dilemma as he tries to clean up the mess they’ve all made.
I have a B.A. in English from the University of Texas. My previous writing experience includes serving as a ghostwriter for Life Builders, a nationwide mentoring ministry.
Thank you so much for your time and for considering my novel.
Sincerely,
Genevieve Wilson
Thank you for allowing me to introduce my novel to you. Facets of Sorrow is a work of women’s fiction, which is complete at 95,000 words.
Gemma Allen knows sorrow – she knows him well. He overwhelmed her with his confidence, seduced her with his charm and injured her with his strength. His name is Aaron Dullis, and if she would just stop needing him maybe he could stop loving her. She refuses to give him that satisfaction.
When Gemma meets Kyle Johnson, she thinks he’s the one person who can bring her joy, and he does. The problem with loving two men, however, is that she’s not sure how to balance her need for each of them with her desire for them both. It seems an impossible choice – maybe it is, but she knows she must choose.
Gemma and Kyle marry, but after a few years of marriage his secretive behavior and mysterious business trips have Gemma convinced he’s not who she thought he was. She’s right. He has a past of his own, full of his own sorrow and regret. When Gemma is forced to protect Kyle’s secret, she makes decisions that land her in a hospital bed, Aaron in handcuffs and Kyle in a legal and ethical dilemma as he tries to clean up the mess they’ve all made.
I have a B.A. in English from the University of Texas. My previous writing experience includes serving as a ghostwriter for Life Builders, a nationwide mentoring ministry.
Thank you so much for your time and for considering my novel.
Sincerely,
Genevieve Wilson
Mar 22, 2010
Middle Grade/Joshua and the Fantastic Forest (revision #3)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Twelve-year old Joshua Cooper finds out a walk in the woods can change his life – or end it.
Bored as the new kid in town he is desperate for adventure. He finds it in the forest when he befriends talking animals transformed accidentally from DNA of the same highly-evolved animals that lived millions of years ago and died out. He shares his magical world with two unlikely friends he rescues and they vow to protect the secret of their forest friends.
When a power-hungry fox secretly transforms thousands of animals with his prehistoric DNA into his allies to rule the forest, Joshua must find a way to save his captured friends and stop the fox. He rallies his comrades to raise their own army and build an arsenal of weapons to defend themselves against the evil hoard in the battle of their lives.
I am seeking your representation for my manuscript, JOSHUA AND THE FANTASTIC FOREST, a 52,000-word middle grade adventure that appeals to boys. I am a freelance writer with a background in reporting and marketing.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Twelve-year old Joshua Cooper finds out a walk in the woods can change his life – or end it.
Bored as the new kid in town he is desperate for adventure. He finds it in the forest when he befriends talking animals transformed accidentally from DNA of the same highly-evolved animals that lived millions of years ago and died out. He shares his magical world with two unlikely friends he rescues and they vow to protect the secret of their forest friends.
When a power-hungry fox secretly transforms thousands of animals with his prehistoric DNA into his allies to rule the forest, Joshua must find a way to save his captured friends and stop the fox. He rallies his comrades to raise their own army and build an arsenal of weapons to defend themselves against the evil hoard in the battle of their lives.
I am seeking your representation for my manuscript, JOSHUA AND THE FANTASTIC FOREST, a 52,000-word middle grade adventure that appeals to boys. I am a freelance writer with a background in reporting and marketing.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Mar 20, 2010
Query: THE WATCHERS' DAUGHTER
Dear Agent:
Eighteen-year-old Morgan Meadows has promised her Arabian mare Epona they will never be parted. Yet, she doesn't realize that while she works to build a life on a Kentucky horse farm guardians lurk in the shadows, carefully observing her until the secrets of her family can be revealed.
Keeping her promise to Epona, Morgan takes her along when she gets a chance to meet the parents she's never known. Morgan learns her father comes from a family of fallen angels known as Watchers, immortal beings searching for redemption as they strive to protect all creatures, including the creatures of a parallel world known as Gaia.
Morgan's parents left her behind as an infant because she showed no evidence of their powers, reasoning it best she live a normal, human life. Only after begging the Council (ancient rulers of the Watchers) are they able to arrange this reunion. However, to protect their secrets on Earth, the Council decrees Morgan be taken to Gaia.
In Gaia, Morgan finds herself a target of creatures who have been feeding the fire of their hatred for humanity for centuries. Their hatred stems from the abuse and neglect humans have inflicted on their world and the creatures in it, because if Earth dies--Gaia does as well. Morgan tries to convince them of the good in humanity, using her love for Epona as an example, but many believe it is a trick.
Morgan has her own magic, a magic she shares with Epona. Her powers grow with each new obstacle she faces. As visions present her first assignment as a Watcher--to find and protect the White Buffalo Calf from Sioux legend, she hopes her magic will also help her make peace with the Gaians. But when a Gaian kills her best friend, Morgan plans to use her new powers for vengeance instead.
THE WATCHERS' DAUGHTER is an 82,000word young adult fantasy complete and ready for review upon your request. I have a B.A. in English and taught college-level English courses for several years. I have been co-editor of a statewide periodical and was recently published in Modern Arabian Horse magazine.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Angela Greenlief
Eighteen-year-old Morgan Meadows has promised her Arabian mare Epona they will never be parted. Yet, she doesn't realize that while she works to build a life on a Kentucky horse farm guardians lurk in the shadows, carefully observing her until the secrets of her family can be revealed.
Keeping her promise to Epona, Morgan takes her along when she gets a chance to meet the parents she's never known. Morgan learns her father comes from a family of fallen angels known as Watchers, immortal beings searching for redemption as they strive to protect all creatures, including the creatures of a parallel world known as Gaia.
Morgan's parents left her behind as an infant because she showed no evidence of their powers, reasoning it best she live a normal, human life. Only after begging the Council (ancient rulers of the Watchers) are they able to arrange this reunion. However, to protect their secrets on Earth, the Council decrees Morgan be taken to Gaia.
In Gaia, Morgan finds herself a target of creatures who have been feeding the fire of their hatred for humanity for centuries. Their hatred stems from the abuse and neglect humans have inflicted on their world and the creatures in it, because if Earth dies--Gaia does as well. Morgan tries to convince them of the good in humanity, using her love for Epona as an example, but many believe it is a trick.
Morgan has her own magic, a magic she shares with Epona. Her powers grow with each new obstacle she faces. As visions present her first assignment as a Watcher--to find and protect the White Buffalo Calf from Sioux legend, she hopes her magic will also help her make peace with the Gaians. But when a Gaian kills her best friend, Morgan plans to use her new powers for vengeance instead.
THE WATCHERS' DAUGHTER is an 82,000word young adult fantasy complete and ready for review upon your request. I have a B.A. in English and taught college-level English courses for several years. I have been co-editor of a statewide periodical and was recently published in Modern Arabian Horse magazine.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Angela Greenlief
Mar 19, 2010
QUERY- Joshua and the Fantastic Forest (Revision 2)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Joshua and the Fantastic Forest (Revision 2)Thanks to all the commenters for improving this! sorry I put this in wrong spot before...on to helping someone else.
Dear Public Query Slushpile,
Twelve-year old Joshua Cooper is about to find out how a walk in the woods can change his life – or end it.
As the new kid in town he is desperate for adventure. He finds it in the mountain forest above his home when he befriends talking animals created from the DNA of super powered creatures that roamed the earth long ago. He shares his magical world with two unlikely friends he rescues, a bully and an old man, and they vow to protect the secret of their forest friends.
When a power-hungry fox secretly recreates thousands of his own animals to conquer and rule the forest Joshua must find a way to save his friends, and himself. He leads his comrades to raise their own army and craft an arsenal of weapons to defend themselves against the evil hoard in the battle of their lives.
I am seeking your representation for my manuscript, JOSHUA AND THE FANTASTIC FOREST, a 52,000-word middle grade adventure that appeals to boys. I am a freelance writer with a background in reporting and marketing.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Click here to read the first revision.
Joshua and the Fantastic Forest (Revision 2)Thanks to all the commenters for improving this! sorry I put this in wrong spot before...on to helping someone else.
Dear Public Query Slushpile,
Twelve-year old Joshua Cooper is about to find out how a walk in the woods can change his life – or end it.
As the new kid in town he is desperate for adventure. He finds it in the mountain forest above his home when he befriends talking animals created from the DNA of super powered creatures that roamed the earth long ago. He shares his magical world with two unlikely friends he rescues, a bully and an old man, and they vow to protect the secret of their forest friends.
When a power-hungry fox secretly recreates thousands of his own animals to conquer and rule the forest Joshua must find a way to save his friends, and himself. He leads his comrades to raise their own army and craft an arsenal of weapons to defend themselves against the evil hoard in the battle of their lives.
I am seeking your representation for my manuscript, JOSHUA AND THE FANTASTIC FOREST, a 52,000-word middle grade adventure that appeals to boys. I am a freelance writer with a background in reporting and marketing.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Mar 16, 2010
Query- Joshua and the Fantastic Forest (Revision 1)
Click here to read the original query.
Revision to Joshua and the Fantastic Forest - thank you!
Dear Public Query Slushpile,
Twelve-year old Joshua Cooper is about to find out how a walk in the woods can magically change his life – or end it.
As the new kid in town he is desperate for adventure. He soon finds it in the mountain forest above his home, but not with kids or even humans, when he befriends talking animals. They share the story of their accidental transformation into animals of amazing strength and reason that roamed the earth millions of years ago, whose existence was blasted away by a meteorite siege that left no trace behind...well, almost none.
When a bumbling, old Mr. Bimble’s walking stick (carved from wood he dug up as a boy that held the DNA of these ancient animals giving him their powers) is struck by lightning in the forest and explodes into shimmering dust, it changes every creature it touches into the animals of long ago.
Bound with their new powers, these animals also carry the memories of their ancestors and know not all were decent and wise. They know some carried dark urges to plunder and conquer their own. Could there be others like that now? All of this is forgotten in the idyllic days that follow as Joshua spends them soaring over the forest on a magnificent bald eagle, playing tag in the meadow with deer, racing through the woods hanging onto the scruff of a mighty bear and sharing fireside tales with his best friend, a beaver.
Joshua soon realizes he can’t keep the secret of the animals to himself when he encounters Mr. Bimble looking for his lost walking stick and Matt, a school bully heading up the mountain to shoot off fireworks in the woods. He must decide to rescue them from a forest sinkhole, with the help of his generous new friends, and risk sharing their secret. The unlikely trio becomes friends and vows to protect the secret of the animals no matter what the consequence.
Joshua discovers Mr. Bimble is dying from cancer and encourages his friends to create a special magic DNA brew in the hopes to cure him. They have no idea one of their own is creating his own DNA concoction, only not to cure – to create and conquer.
When a power-hungry fox carrying the dark seed of his ancestors secretly recreates thousands of his own fantastic animals into an army of soldiers to rule the forest, and possibly the world, Joshua must find a way to save his forest friends. He leads his comrades to raise their own army and build an arsenal of weapons to defend themselves against the evil animal hoard in the battle of their lives.
I am seeking your representation for my manuscript, JOSHUA AND THE FANTASTIC FOREST, a 52,000 word contemporary middle grade adventure fantasy that appeals to boys. I am a freelance writer with a background in reporting and marketing.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Revision to Joshua and the Fantastic Forest - thank you!
Dear Public Query Slushpile,
Twelve-year old Joshua Cooper is about to find out how a walk in the woods can magically change his life – or end it.
As the new kid in town he is desperate for adventure. He soon finds it in the mountain forest above his home, but not with kids or even humans, when he befriends talking animals. They share the story of their accidental transformation into animals of amazing strength and reason that roamed the earth millions of years ago, whose existence was blasted away by a meteorite siege that left no trace behind...well, almost none.
When a bumbling, old Mr. Bimble’s walking stick (carved from wood he dug up as a boy that held the DNA of these ancient animals giving him their powers) is struck by lightning in the forest and explodes into shimmering dust, it changes every creature it touches into the animals of long ago.
Bound with their new powers, these animals also carry the memories of their ancestors and know not all were decent and wise. They know some carried dark urges to plunder and conquer their own. Could there be others like that now? All of this is forgotten in the idyllic days that follow as Joshua spends them soaring over the forest on a magnificent bald eagle, playing tag in the meadow with deer, racing through the woods hanging onto the scruff of a mighty bear and sharing fireside tales with his best friend, a beaver.
Joshua soon realizes he can’t keep the secret of the animals to himself when he encounters Mr. Bimble looking for his lost walking stick and Matt, a school bully heading up the mountain to shoot off fireworks in the woods. He must decide to rescue them from a forest sinkhole, with the help of his generous new friends, and risk sharing their secret. The unlikely trio becomes friends and vows to protect the secret of the animals no matter what the consequence.
Joshua discovers Mr. Bimble is dying from cancer and encourages his friends to create a special magic DNA brew in the hopes to cure him. They have no idea one of their own is creating his own DNA concoction, only not to cure – to create and conquer.
When a power-hungry fox carrying the dark seed of his ancestors secretly recreates thousands of his own fantastic animals into an army of soldiers to rule the forest, and possibly the world, Joshua must find a way to save his forest friends. He leads his comrades to raise their own army and build an arsenal of weapons to defend themselves against the evil animal hoard in the battle of their lives.
I am seeking your representation for my manuscript, JOSHUA AND THE FANTASTIC FOREST, a 52,000 word contemporary middle grade adventure fantasy that appeals to boys. I am a freelance writer with a background in reporting and marketing.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
The Nameless - Query (Revision #2)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision. It's labeled Revision #2, but it's really Version #2, Revision #1. Oops.
Okay I thought my query still needed some tweaking. I dropped the question at the end, please let me know if this reads better:
Dear Agent:
Eighteen-year-old Erica Ann Dawson falls asleep in her bed in Batesfield, Connecticut and awakens to find herself driving down a four-lane highway.
Plagued by inexplicable blackouts, she begins losing hours, even days, with no memory of what transpired in the intervening time. As the blackouts worsen, she starts to doubt her own sanity. But the truth is even crazier.
Erica is slowly being replaced from her own life by a creature known only as a Changeling. This doppelganger has bewitched Erica’s name and is using it to steal away her memories, her life - her very soul.
To save herself from being completely consumed, Erica is forced to make a terrible sacrifice; she gives up her name, and with it, relinquishes all rights to her own identity.
Now, nameless and forgotten by friends and family alike, the girl is plunged into a world of magic where a Sharpie and a book of matches could mean the difference between life and death. She must learn to harness the power of names and sigils to fight back against the Changelings and the dark force invading Batesfield. But if Erica stands a chance at reclaiming her former life, she will need to discover the truth behind what the changelings truly are. If she fails, she will remain nameless forever.
THE NAMELESS is a YA fantasy novel complete at 60,000 words. The manuscript is available upon request.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Emily XXXX
Address
Phone
Email
Click here to read the first revision. It's labeled Revision #2, but it's really Version #2, Revision #1. Oops.
Okay I thought my query still needed some tweaking. I dropped the question at the end, please let me know if this reads better:
Dear Agent:
Eighteen-year-old Erica Ann Dawson falls asleep in her bed in Batesfield, Connecticut and awakens to find herself driving down a four-lane highway.
Plagued by inexplicable blackouts, she begins losing hours, even days, with no memory of what transpired in the intervening time. As the blackouts worsen, she starts to doubt her own sanity. But the truth is even crazier.
Erica is slowly being replaced from her own life by a creature known only as a Changeling. This doppelganger has bewitched Erica’s name and is using it to steal away her memories, her life - her very soul.
To save herself from being completely consumed, Erica is forced to make a terrible sacrifice; she gives up her name, and with it, relinquishes all rights to her own identity.
Now, nameless and forgotten by friends and family alike, the girl is plunged into a world of magic where a Sharpie and a book of matches could mean the difference between life and death. She must learn to harness the power of names and sigils to fight back against the Changelings and the dark force invading Batesfield. But if Erica stands a chance at reclaiming her former life, she will need to discover the truth behind what the changelings truly are. If she fails, she will remain nameless forever.
THE NAMELESS is a YA fantasy novel complete at 60,000 words. The manuscript is available upon request.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Emily XXXX
Address
Phone
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