Aug 16, 2009

Query- Shadow Falls (Revision #1)

Click here to read the original query

Dear Agent:

There are people who know sixteen-year-old Willow Sinclair’s big secret. Unfortunately, Willow isn’t one of them.

Will senses something strange is going on the first week she starts her new school in the mountains of North Carolina. For a girl who has spent the first two years of high school successfully blending into the scenery, she suddenly is getting a whole lot of attention.

First, the faculty is giving her the hard sell on joining the Leadership Council (the LC), an exclusive club of students with ties to the academy’s biggest donor, a charismatic televangelist. The members are supermodel perfect, smart as hell, and spiritually dedicated (although dedicated to what, she’s not so sure). Willow can think of nothing she would like to join less.

Then, two boys are competing for her interest and warning her about the danger the other one poses. Will is confused. When did a fairy godmother sneak into her room and sprinkle her with desirable dust? Boys like these would have existed in another orbit from her at her old school in Texas.

Finally, as if beautiful boys and pushy teachers aren’t enough to drive a girl to the edge, Will starts seeing colors around people and develops the olfactory glands of a bloodhound.

Will needs answers. But she’s not sure which guy she can trust to help her find them. Rivers, the sweet Alabama boy with the killer dimples, who also happens to be a member of the LC? Or Pierce, the over-confident preacher’s son with a reputation for preying on new girls and an ax to grind with his father?

Both boys think they know why she’s gifted—she’s goddess-touched like they are. But neither realizes that Willow’s gift came at a price. Before she took her first breath, someone made a deal with her soul. And now it’s time to pay up.

I am pleased to submit for your consideration my paranormal young adult novel, SHADOW FALLS, complete at 85,000 words.

Thank you for your time and consideration. If you would like to learn more about me, please visit me at . I look forward to hearing from you.


Query- Near Edgware (Revision 1)

Click here to read the original query.

Dear Agent,

I would like to introduce you to my novel, Near Edgware.

16 year-old Jess Trainer returns to a school that has changed in everyway except geographically. The Head doesn’t tolerate deviation from his code, and the rules. Jess is glad to be back, she just wants to spend time with her friends. Despite her determination to avoid trouble she can’t fight the lure of Caleb Ridgeway. She can see him, tell the difference, to her he is more than one of the matching set of boys who came with the new Headteacher.

This attraction draws Jess inside the world of those born Were. Only after she is attacked by feral Were does Jess discover that Caleb’s secret, exciting to speculate about, is bitingly real. Given the choice between keeping his secret or losing Caleb for good Jess decides their love is worth the risk. When the feral Were attempt to destroy the younger members of the pack – specifically Caleb – they have help on the inside who nearly make that happen.

The task of saving them all falls on Jess which is ironic given the other secret that permeates the book. Her parents keep from her why she senses when people are more than they seem, why she is fast and strong, why her visual memory was bred in her; they want to end a way of life built on hatred and annihilation. They leave it to fate to see what happens when the last born Hunter meets the Alpha-to-be. An unscrupulous Were could see Jess’ ignorance as the perfect opportunity for revenge. It’s a good job Caleb fights for more than the right to love.

Near Edgware is complete at 75,000 words. It has been written as a stand alone novel. But it could be so much more. Once characters have been established they have been known to develop a loyal following. I have planned the outlines for five, or infact six, further linked stories elements of each have been woven into the book. The first three chapters of Book 2 are already written and could be ready for perusal with the more polished manuscript described above.

I am a teacher and use Social and Emotional Aspect of Learning (SEAL) as the cornerstone of my work. I also have a counselling qualification. I bring these skills to my writing.

Thank you for your time. I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely