Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
I'm striking out here, but am taking all opinions into account. Here's a revision I think is along the lines of the character versus plot critique theme. I hope it's more in-line with what everyone's looking for.
Dear Dream Agent,
Miranda gave up her budding military career to marry fellow soldier Scott Penton but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. Desperate to forget the pain of the loss, Miranda files for divorce and accepts an unexpected job offer at the Nixon Healing and Research Center.
Dr. Howard Nixon, a brilliant scientist and wealthy physician, is using his facility as a cover for human/zombie experimentation and believes that the pathogen that causes the zombie infection can be used to cannibalize tumors in cancer patients, curing them. The problem is that he needs to temper the virus by creating a hybrid to avoid infecting those he’s treating.
Miranda becomes one of Dr. Nixon’s victims, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived. A rescue team led by Scott, her soon-to-be ex, reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.
Miranda realizes she’s pregnant with an experimental hybrid and after battling to keep her pregnancy a secret, her maternal instinct convinces her to keep the baby. The infant is born healthy and normal-appearing, allowing her and Scott to contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads Miranda’s infant is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby holds the cure to the outbreak. How far will Miranda go and at what cost to the world to stop them?
Cure is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.
My short stories have appeared in Shroud Magazine, Dabblestone, and on Tales of the Zombie War’s website. My short story, “The Look-alike” earned me honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest 76th Annual Writing Competition. I am the author of an independently published novel, Dead Spell, which has received great reviews and am a member of the Horror Writer's Association, New England Horror Writers and SCBWI. I would be happy to send you a partial or the full manuscript of Cure. Thank you for your consideration