Sep 12, 2009

Third Revision - The Chosen Ones and the Dragon War

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the second version

(so, I listened to the comments (after I cried) and I have taken the wonderful advice given to me to heart and I think I'm getting closer to explaining my epic (read too-long) book. I'm chopping the novel also, so I don't know how many words it will be in the end. Thank you all for your wonderful coments and for helping make me a better queriest! - Natalie)

Dear Mr/Ms. Agent:

When Earth gets caught in the middle of a battle for the universe between the Mages and the dark fey, two teens are forced to work together and use their elemental powers to save everyone. But first, can they save a clan of dragons in the midst of war?

Jack and Katie were chosen before birth to be the saviors of the universe. The Mages imbued elemental powers into their embryos, designing them to work together as a team. Katie would be able to control the weather and water while Jack would have power over earth and fire. The plan was to raise the chosen ones together and train them to work as a team from birth. But that was before the dark fey found a way to Earth.

Fearing for their lives, Jack’s parents take him into hiding. When a car crash kills them two years later, Jack is left orphaned without any idea of his destiny.

Katie is taken home with her parents where they raise her as a normal "human" child. She attends school with her peers. She helps around the farm. She even plays with her brothers. Until the fey find her and attempt to kill her and her family. Katie's mage protector teleports her to a distant planet to hide her from the fey, where she discovers dragons are alive and thriving, but need her help to save their hatchlings.

Now the Mages have to find Jack before the dark fey do and reunite the chosen ones in time to train them to save the universe from annihilation. Unfortunately, Katie and Jack have other plans in mind.

The Chosen Ones and the Dragon War is an 80,000-word work of fantasy intended for young adults. This is our first novel. Please find enclosed the first five pages, pursuant to your submission guidelines.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Natalie and Rick
(phone number)