Query- Seaweeds- Version "hopefully the last"

Click here to read "the undisputed first" version.
Click here to read "the definite first" revision.
Click here to read "the improved upon second" revision.
Click here to read "thanks for the tips I'm making great progress" revision.

Dear AGENT,

An unusual love triangle arises between a young man, a mermaid, and a siren in SEAWEEDS, a contemporary fantasy.

Sky Hunter’s twenty-third birthday brings him a boat party, strange presents, and a hook-up with sexy Melanie. An evening of pleasure turns into a night of survival when Sky falls off the boat and nearly drowns. He winds up on the beach the next morning, disoriented, until he discovers a girl with violet eyes washed up nearby. She can’t speak and has trouble walking. Sky believes the girl is a mermaid who saved him. Her charm and innocence draws him to her; he calls her his Pearl from the ocean. And in a few short days, Sky falls head over heels for her.

He’s not bothered by Pearl’s strange behaviors, such as hitting the car horn whenever they go for a ride or eating all his cat’s sardines. In fact, they make her all the more enjoyable to be around because he never knows what to expect.

There’s just one problem. Melanie is livid about Sky’s new girlfriend and threatens to murder his family if he chooses to stay with Pearl. Sky refuses to give in to Melanie’s threats, certain that he can outsmart her. But when he discovers that Melanie has a secret of her own, he must find a way to resist her enchanted advances long enough to save himself—and Pearl.

SEAWEEDS is The Little Mermaid meets Fatal Attraction. My novel is complete at 66,000 words. I am currently working on a sequel.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Sincerely,

ME!

Query- Eiffel Flower

Dear ________,

Conflicted with looming graduation decisions, sorority girl Rose Jastone makes the most impulsive choice of her meticulously planned life. This perfect juxtaposition of the modern collegian- lively social chair of Delta Delta Gamma, model student, and punk rock enthusiast who can throw on a pair of Chuck's when occasioned- signs up for a spring semester at the Univeristy of Paris, Panthénon-Sorbonne.

Paris, however, turns out to be more than Rose's Philosophy major logic bargained for. Stuck dorming with Noemi Brousarre, a celebutante roommate with a few fifth-life crises of her own, Rose is thrown into a world of Parisian drama that makes sorority life seem like a stroll though le Jardin des Tuleries.

Left mediating the problems of the city around her, Rose wonders if she'll ever bloom into the “Eiffel Flower” Noemi promised, or if she will just wilt in the process. More importantly, will her future reveal itself by the time the clock strikes midnight at the Crillon Ball, or will she be stuck following the life-plan her parents and friends have already constructed for her?

Eiffel Flower is an upper young adult novel, complete at 92,000 words. In the vein of Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy, it is targeted towards the college-aged reader that feels too old for Gossip Girl, but was too young to celebrate the "Sex and the City" finale with Cosmos.



Thank you for taking the time to consider my query.



Sincerely,
__________

Authors Note: Already got one partial request, but the twelve rejections make me think it could used whipped into shape!