Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent
I have recently completed my 72,200-word YA paranormal romance entitled Near Edgware, and I hope you might consider representing me. My writing lulls with school and woodland settings and bites like a Kelley Armstrong.
Sixteen-year-old, Jess Trainer, has a lot in common with Caleb Ridgeway: the athletic skills, unusual senses and the feeling of being something different - a little apart from their peers. If her parents had told Jess their family secrets she might have understood why she is attracted to the boy who cannot let anyone see the other side of him.
Jess does not understand why Caleb fights to keep her at a distance when their classes, common interests and the almost addictive attraction makes being away from him unbearable. After spending time together Caleb's scent lingers on Jess' clothes, this brings out the worst kind of wolves still living in England. The sight of Caleb, and his protectors at work, is the solution to the puzzle she has been piecing together. Jess finds the reality hard to accept, but she realises she loves someone who is neither human nor wolf - he is Were.
Jess risks her life, and her humanity, to reach a traumatised Caleb after the pack is attacked. Only she can guide him back with her love.
This book can stand alone but it has series potential.
I am a teacher with the usual English qualifications and a less usual counselling one.
Thank you for your time,
Jan 18, 2010
Query -- Masquerade (Second Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Business Letter Format
Dear Ms. Agent,
I am seeking representation for the STEWARD AND MISS HIGGINS, a single title Regency Romance complete at 98,000 words.
An outrageously beautiful, yet painfully shy Duke’s daughter must play at a dangerous game of masquerade to outsmart a villain trying to destroy her family.
When William Smith, the Earl of Westerly, agrees to do his cousin Robert a simple favor, keep an eye on an elderly relative and her companion, he doesn't realize what he's gotten himself into until it's too late. Upon his arrival at Wakefield, Quiggins, the trusted butler reveals, “…things are not what they appear to be.”
William, a confirmed bachelor, has only one passion, horses, until he meets the mysterious Miss Penny Higgins whose sweet, sunny smile and unfathomable intellect are in direct contrast to her dowdy clothes and recurring stutter. The Duchess of Caymore, his aunt’s cousin, is a wry old bird who keeps a strict eye on her companion and William means to find out why using his charm and affable nature but no one is talking. It’s obvious the ladies are in trouble, they are in hiding, and now it appears he will also have to masquerade… as the steward.
As the weeks pass, William cannot help but fall in love with the quirky Penny and wants to marry her, even without knowing who she really is. Penny loses her heart but knows nothing will come of it – her father is determined to marry her off to someone of his choosing.
When Penny’s true identity and her reason for hiding are finally revealed to William, he immediately launches a campaign entrusting some unlikely friends to help catch the villains. Upon their return to London, a confounding chain of events finds Robert masquerading as Penny’s fiancé. Moreover, now that William knows who Penny really is, he is awed but undaunted. Despite Robert’s annoying role as Penny’s fake fiancé, her father’s threats to marry her off to a duke, and the Duchess of Caymore’s machinations to keep Robert and Penny together, William is determined to marry Penny, but first he has to find the blackguard who threatens her.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Click here to read the first revision.
Business Letter Format
Dear Ms. Agent,
I am seeking representation for the STEWARD AND MISS HIGGINS, a single title Regency Romance complete at 98,000 words.
An outrageously beautiful, yet painfully shy Duke’s daughter must play at a dangerous game of masquerade to outsmart a villain trying to destroy her family.
When William Smith, the Earl of Westerly, agrees to do his cousin Robert a simple favor, keep an eye on an elderly relative and her companion, he doesn't realize what he's gotten himself into until it's too late. Upon his arrival at Wakefield, Quiggins, the trusted butler reveals, “…things are not what they appear to be.”
William, a confirmed bachelor, has only one passion, horses, until he meets the mysterious Miss Penny Higgins whose sweet, sunny smile and unfathomable intellect are in direct contrast to her dowdy clothes and recurring stutter. The Duchess of Caymore, his aunt’s cousin, is a wry old bird who keeps a strict eye on her companion and William means to find out why using his charm and affable nature but no one is talking. It’s obvious the ladies are in trouble, they are in hiding, and now it appears he will also have to masquerade… as the steward.
As the weeks pass, William cannot help but fall in love with the quirky Penny and wants to marry her, even without knowing who she really is. Penny loses her heart but knows nothing will come of it – her father is determined to marry her off to someone of his choosing.
When Penny’s true identity and her reason for hiding are finally revealed to William, he immediately launches a campaign entrusting some unlikely friends to help catch the villains. Upon their return to London, a confounding chain of events finds Robert masquerading as Penny’s fiancé. Moreover, now that William knows who Penny really is, he is awed but undaunted. Despite Robert’s annoying role as Penny’s fake fiancé, her father’s threats to marry her off to a duke, and the Duchess of Caymore’s machinations to keep Robert and Penny together, William is determined to marry Penny, but first he has to find the blackguard who threatens her.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
New Critique Exchange Blog
Attention writers and readers:
If you are looking for critique partners for your manuscript, or if you are available to critique the works of others, check out this new blog, launching today:
critXchange
The goal for the critXchange is for writers to post a short description of their book, similar to a query, but instead of querying agents it is a solicitation for other writers and readers to provide feedback on the manuscript.
The critXchange blog is just a meeting place...the actual exchange if manuscripts and feedback will be direct between the writers and critiquers. The submission process is similar to submitting here at the Slushpile. Could be because I started both blogs and it worked fine here. Or that I am lazy and didn't want to think up something new. Take your pick, I won't be offended.
Like The Public Query Slushpile, the success of critXchange will hinge on the participation of wonderful people like you. Feedback on the concept and ways to make it better is welcome. Wander over there when you have a chance. Right now there's only one request posted, but I know there are more manuscripts in need of critique...
If you are looking for critique partners for your manuscript, or if you are available to critique the works of others, check out this new blog, launching today:
critXchange
The goal for the critXchange is for writers to post a short description of their book, similar to a query, but instead of querying agents it is a solicitation for other writers and readers to provide feedback on the manuscript.
The critXchange blog is just a meeting place...the actual exchange if manuscripts and feedback will be direct between the writers and critiquers. The submission process is similar to submitting here at the Slushpile. Could be because I started both blogs and it worked fine here. Or that I am lazy and didn't want to think up something new. Take your pick, I won't be offended.
Like The Public Query Slushpile, the success of critXchange will hinge on the participation of wonderful people like you. Feedback on the concept and ways to make it better is welcome. Wander over there when you have a chance. Right now there's only one request posted, but I know there are more manuscripts in need of critique...
Query -- Masquerade (First Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Business Letter Format
Dear Ms. Agent,
I am seeking representation at this time for The Steward and Miss Higgins, a single title Regency Romance complete at 99,000 words.
Bored with his staid life, William Smith, the Earl of Westerly agrees to do his cousin Robert a favor; remove to Wakefield to keep an eye on an elderly cousin and her traveling companion. He is more than surprised upon his arrival when Quiggins, the trusted butler reveals, “…things are not what they appear to be.”
William, a confirmed bachelor, has only one passion, horses, until he meets the mysterious Miss Penelope Higgins whose sweet, sunny smile and unfathomable intellect is in direct contrast to her dowdy clothes and recurring stutter. He discerns she is not the person she is pretending to be. The Duchess of Caymore is a meddlesome old bird, who keeps a strict eye on Penny, and William means to find out why but no one is talking. It is obvious the Ladies are in trouble, they are in hiding, and now it appears he will also have to masquerade…as the steward.
When Penny’s true identity (she is the Duke of Olmstead’s incomparable daughter) and her reason for hiding (someone has tried to kill her father and now the fiend has turned his sights on her) are finally revealed to William, he entrusts some unlikely friends to devise a plan to bring the villains to justice. Upon their return to London, a comedic chain of events finds Robert masquerading as Penny’s fiancé. Moreover, now that William knows who Penny really is, he is awed but undaunted. Despite Robert’s annoying role as Penny’s fake fiancé, her father’s threats to marry her off to a duke, and the Duchess of Caymore’s machinations to keep Robert and Penny together, William is determined to marry Penny, but first he has to find the blackguard who threatens her.
I would be delighted to send you the synopsis and first three chapters. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.
Business Letter Format
Dear Ms. Agent,
I am seeking representation at this time for The Steward and Miss Higgins, a single title Regency Romance complete at 99,000 words.
Bored with his staid life, William Smith, the Earl of Westerly agrees to do his cousin Robert a favor; remove to Wakefield to keep an eye on an elderly cousin and her traveling companion. He is more than surprised upon his arrival when Quiggins, the trusted butler reveals, “…things are not what they appear to be.”
William, a confirmed bachelor, has only one passion, horses, until he meets the mysterious Miss Penelope Higgins whose sweet, sunny smile and unfathomable intellect is in direct contrast to her dowdy clothes and recurring stutter. He discerns she is not the person she is pretending to be. The Duchess of Caymore is a meddlesome old bird, who keeps a strict eye on Penny, and William means to find out why but no one is talking. It is obvious the Ladies are in trouble, they are in hiding, and now it appears he will also have to masquerade…as the steward.
When Penny’s true identity (she is the Duke of Olmstead’s incomparable daughter) and her reason for hiding (someone has tried to kill her father and now the fiend has turned his sights on her) are finally revealed to William, he entrusts some unlikely friends to devise a plan to bring the villains to justice. Upon their return to London, a comedic chain of events finds Robert masquerading as Penny’s fiancé. Moreover, now that William knows who Penny really is, he is awed but undaunted. Despite Robert’s annoying role as Penny’s fake fiancé, her father’s threats to marry her off to a duke, and the Duchess of Caymore’s machinations to keep Robert and Penny together, William is determined to marry Penny, but first he has to find the blackguard who threatens her.
I would be delighted to send you the synopsis and first three chapters. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.
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