Sep 18, 2009

Query- Born on a Day When the Sun Didn’t Shine (revision 1)

Click here to read the original query.

Take two - I incorporated some of the changes and tweaked a couple of things. I originally included the part about relationships at the bottom for precisely the reason Rick stated - vampires are a tough sell in the post-Twilight era. I was trying to make it clear that there's more to the story than vampires. Let me know if you think the new sentence is any better or it confuses things. And thank you for your willingness to help!

Dear [Agent},

When Grace marries her high school sweetheart she looks forward to their long and happy life together. Instead, a brutal assault leaves her not only violated, but widowed as well. After grieving for a year, but feeling unable to move forward with her life, Grace decides to make a fresh start in a place that holds no bad memories: she moves across the Atlantic to find solace in the cottage she inherited from her Scottish grandfather.

Once settled into her new home she meets a man who annoys and intrigues her in equal measure--but he doesn’t scare her as most men now do, and that piques her curiosity.

She should have been scared.

Hagan is a vampire who still has human desires. He loves Grace and would give anything to be with her forever. Regrettably, his bite would only turn her into a zombie because his venom is weaker than the MorĊ£ii who created him; but that doesn’t mean the temptation’s not there…

To further complicate matters, there are some in the vampire community who seem to know that Grace possesses The Soul Collector--the only mirror that allows vampires to see their own reflection. Unfortunately it also traps the soul of any vampire who looks within it, conferring their strength upon whoever controls the mirror. It’s up to Grace to figure out how to safeguard it from those who might use it for their own corrupt purposes.

I hope you will be interested in representing my paranormal romance, “Born on a Day When the Sun Didn’t Shine,” complete at ~85,000 words. It is a relatable tale with the lightness and humor of chick lit, the passion of romance, and the dark glamour of vampires.

Thank you for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,


Kristy Hutchison