Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Dear Agent,
At thirty-four, Jennie is something of an anomaly. She loves what some might consider a bit incongruous: Jesus AND fairies. Her co-workers in the public library, Sylvia and Helen, can see she's different but can't decide which side of the divide this difference is. The Librarian, Sylvia, leans more to the positive and appreciates Jennie's thoughtfulness and integrity. Meanwhile, Helen, the more outspoken of the two, finds Jennie's whimsical, spiritual nature more hard to take. When Jennie announces she has heard disembodied singing and music while talking shortcuts through the abandoned cemetery and also met an angelic looking man seated beside a wintry, rose-covered grave, her library co-workers suspect it's the strange side of the divide for her. And when Helen fails to find any roses or any man - angelic or otherwise - in the cemetery, these suspicions are confirmed.
The growing enmity at work because of her outlandish claims and her 'inspirationals' which she believes are from the Divine, and also the disappearance of the man she has come to know as Charos, lead her to despair. Despite his thorny nature, he was the one person who showed understanding and made her feel special. Only the magical winter roses which never die hold the key to Charos' mirky, surreal past; and only her inspirationals provide her with the key to real love - understanding and compassion - which can break the curse of his death-like existence. Both the roses and her inspirationals enable her to realise that while many have come to take blood away for their own benefit, only one came to share it for the benefit of others. The culmination of knowledge imparted to Jennie through her inspired thoughts enables her to tap into the same spiritual power source as that contained in the Holy Blood of scripture and legend.
Winter Roses Never Die combines inspirational and mystic Christianity and paranormal romance in a contemporary but similar manner to Merlin and Nimue and the Holy Grail aspects of the Arthurian Legends. The work is complete at 95,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jun 10, 2010
QUERY - Colsen Deming and the Nephilim Existence (revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Seventeen-year-old Colsen Deming has a problem. He won't be able to shield his younger foster brother, Alex, from the drunken attacks of their foster mother when she kicks him out of her house on his eighteenth birthday.
Colsen wants to ensure Alex's safety and broaches the subject of his departure with him while walking home. He upsets the boy and ends up chasing after him into an abandoned alley. As he retrieves Alex, Colsen is attacked by two men and his body morphs into a Nephilim to protect them.
Terrified from murdering the two men, the disappearance of their corpses and the transformation of his body, he returns to the scene of the crime for answers. Once there Colsen encounters fellow Nephilim Nerissa who helps him come to terms with his new form and offers insight into his murky past.
Colsen learns his father is a fallen angel disgraced by God for impregnating his human mother. And now his father wants Colsen by his side while he defies God, killing humans and Nephilim alike.
When Alex is kidnapped by Colsen's father to lure Colsen away from the protection of Nerissa's family, he is faced with the ultimate decision. Does Colsen save the only brother he has ever known from death, taking his rightful place by his father's side? Or does he sit idly by while Nerissa and her family risk their lives to rescue Alex without him?
Colsen Deming and the Nephilim Existence is a 73,000-word young adult fantasy novel. I would be happy to forward the complete manuscript upon request, and would like to mention this is a simultaneous query. Thank for your time and consideration.
Cordially,
Seventeen-year-old Colsen Deming has a problem. He won't be able to shield his younger foster brother, Alex, from the drunken attacks of their foster mother when she kicks him out of her house on his eighteenth birthday.
Colsen wants to ensure Alex's safety and broaches the subject of his departure with him while walking home. He upsets the boy and ends up chasing after him into an abandoned alley. As he retrieves Alex, Colsen is attacked by two men and his body morphs into a Nephilim to protect them.
Terrified from murdering the two men, the disappearance of their corpses and the transformation of his body, he returns to the scene of the crime for answers. Once there Colsen encounters fellow Nephilim Nerissa who helps him come to terms with his new form and offers insight into his murky past.
Colsen learns his father is a fallen angel disgraced by God for impregnating his human mother. And now his father wants Colsen by his side while he defies God, killing humans and Nephilim alike.
When Alex is kidnapped by Colsen's father to lure Colsen away from the protection of Nerissa's family, he is faced with the ultimate decision. Does Colsen save the only brother he has ever known from death, taking his rightful place by his father's side? Or does he sit idly by while Nerissa and her family risk their lives to rescue Alex without him?
Colsen Deming and the Nephilim Existence is a 73,000-word young adult fantasy novel. I would be happy to forward the complete manuscript upon request, and would like to mention this is a simultaneous query. Thank for your time and consideration.
Cordially,
QUERY- REMEMBERING YOU -- women's fiction
Dear Ms. Agent,
Ten years is a long time to live in a self-imposed exile and when Genna’s longing for the familiar turn into nightmares about her future, she realizes it’s time to go home.
Once there, the past comes back to haunt her in the form of her ex-fiancé and his dead wife. Genna’s unresolved feelings for him and what he did a decade ago only twist her heart and lead her down a perilous path. He wants her back and Genna wonders if it’s only for her money.
Coming home has also brought her aunt’s Alzheimer’s to light, something the family refuses to face. Her cousin is falling apart under the strain of a too perfect marriage and her best friend is ignoring her. Genna also finds herself encumbered with an inheritance that threatens to destroy her relationship with her uncle.
What’s a girl to do?
Genna needs to makes some tough decisions regarding her future; does she give up the job of a lifetime and come home to work for peanuts or does she go back and live the same lonely life she’s had for the last decade? And will trying to get over her broken heart lead her to find comfort in the arms of a man she once despised? With the help of the only person who has ever put her first, Genna makes the decisions that will change her life forever.
I am seeking representation for REMEMBERING YOU, a completed work of women’s fiction at 87,000 words. (I have also added a sentence as to why I chose them as the agent.)
Thank you for your consideration.
Robin
Ten years is a long time to live in a self-imposed exile and when Genna’s longing for the familiar turn into nightmares about her future, she realizes it’s time to go home.
Once there, the past comes back to haunt her in the form of her ex-fiancé and his dead wife. Genna’s unresolved feelings for him and what he did a decade ago only twist her heart and lead her down a perilous path. He wants her back and Genna wonders if it’s only for her money.
Coming home has also brought her aunt’s Alzheimer’s to light, something the family refuses to face. Her cousin is falling apart under the strain of a too perfect marriage and her best friend is ignoring her. Genna also finds herself encumbered with an inheritance that threatens to destroy her relationship with her uncle.
What’s a girl to do?
Genna needs to makes some tough decisions regarding her future; does she give up the job of a lifetime and come home to work for peanuts or does she go back and live the same lonely life she’s had for the last decade? And will trying to get over her broken heart lead her to find comfort in the arms of a man she once despised? With the help of the only person who has ever put her first, Genna makes the decisions that will change her life forever.
I am seeking representation for REMEMBERING YOU, a completed work of women’s fiction at 87,000 words. (I have also added a sentence as to why I chose them as the agent.)
Thank you for your consideration.
Robin
QUERY- LIFE and BETH latest version.
I've been sending this out there and getting requests, but I keep tweaking it. Now I'm wondering if this last tweak is working.
Seventeen-year-old rocker Beth Collins plays a killer lead guitar, but that's not what's nabbed her a scholarship to the exclusive Hamilton Academy.
It's Beth's other killer talent—the one for causing death.
Beth is a Deathcrafter and Hamilton is no ordinary school. It's a school for the differently Talented—in other words, freaks like Beth.
At Hamilton, Beth learns to cope with loss, attempts to reclaim her dormant muse and falls in in love with a uniquely gifted blind boy. But behind the school's nurturing façade lurks danger. Forced to kill her new boyfriend or risk the loss of everyone else she loves, Beth must come to terms with her own deadly skills—all while facing down a powerful and other-worldly headmistress.
Seventeen-year-old rocker Beth Collins plays a killer lead guitar, but that's not what's nabbed her a scholarship to the exclusive Hamilton Academy.
It's Beth's other killer talent—the one for causing death.
Beth is a Deathcrafter and Hamilton is no ordinary school. It's a school for the differently Talented—in other words, freaks like Beth.
At Hamilton, Beth learns to cope with loss, attempts to reclaim her dormant muse and falls in in love with a uniquely gifted blind boy. But behind the school's nurturing façade lurks danger. Forced to kill her new boyfriend or risk the loss of everyone else she loves, Beth must come to terms with her own deadly skills—all while facing down a powerful and other-worldly headmistress.
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