Query: FOCUS, SAM (Revision 1)

Click here to read the original query.

Dear Agent:

Sameer Sathe fell for seven women in his life. One of them is going to save his life.

Sameer is good with books in his bookshop, but with nothing else, including growing up. He also has a problem – his once a year accidents. A mystic tells him after his twenty fifth accident that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next mishap. However, there is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. The issue is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.

Sameer begins his quest, starting with the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds (she rejected him) to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know Stephen King) he reconnects with all of them. He realizes that he affected their lives profoundly, and most often in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks with every woman to perhaps undo the damage he caused.

Is Sameer able to rid himself of the curse?

My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.

Would you like to see the sample chapters?

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Kind regards,
Rohit Gore

Query - Whispers in the Dark (take 3)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

TWRP requires a short synopsis with their queries, not actual pages. (Just FYI for GJ)

Here goes:


Dear Mr. or Ms. Agent,

I am seeking publication for Whispers in the Dark, my 47,000 word paranormal romance novella, with your Faery Rose Press division.

Jazz Cornier, Slayer for Everto in Unum, ancient vampyre destroyers, loses her entire family during a last-minute raid. In the days following the tragedy and in the midst of her mourning, a dark stranger invades her life declaring her the prophesized, reincarnated Goddess with the faculty to cure vampyrism.

Instead of staking him where he stands, Jazz dismisses Kayne Sutrey's unsubstantiated claims and begins to move on with her life; or so she thinks. She soon finds herself needing Kayne's vampyric strengths and protection against another who seeks to make Jazz his own in order to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled. A prophecy she doesn’t believe in.

Kayne knows Jazz is his chance for mortality, if only he could convince her of her destiny. Instead, he finds himself wanting her for reasons much more personal. He must decide if his love for her overrides his quest for mortality.

My recent publication credits include AnnWenn: Dawn of Destruction, a short story published by Lame Goat Press in Kings of the Realm: A Dragon Anthology and Rebirth, another short story to be featured in Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010 by Sonar4 Publications.

I’ve also recently accepted an editing position with Strong Truths, a YA publisher.

Attached, in the body of this email, is a short synopsis.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Dawn Hullender