Aug 17, 2011

Query - MODERN MEDICINE

Dear Agent,

Getting into medical school was easy. The hard part was staying out of jail.

Thanks to his photographic memory, medical student Raj Mok has never encountered a test he couldn’t ace. Unfortunately, becoming a doctor involves these things called patients…and they don’t come in multiple choice.

Raj rationalizes the death of his very first patient—a terrible accident. But when a young professional enters the hospital healthy and leaves paralyzed and divorced under his care, Raj is devastated. If only it ended there.

With zero confidence in his abilities, Raj is on the verge of quitting when he is teamed up with Cindy. Innocent flirtation leads to a blossoming relationship with the cute intern. Just as things start to look up, Raj discovers a patient of his has been knowingly infecting several women with a lethal sexually transmitted illness...and Cindy is the most recent victim.

Suddenly Raj must decide if his loyalties reside with his patient or in the sweetness of revenge. The Hippocratic Oath be damned; if he’s learned anything from his patients, it’s that doing what’s right isn’t necessarily the correct answer. Too bad the law doesn’t agree.

Educated at UCLA and Stanford, I am a practicing physician in San Diego, California. I have authored over 40 peer-reviewed academic articles in numerous journals, including the New England Journal of Medicine.

MODERN MEDICINE is a medical thriller complete at 75,000 words.

Thank you for reading and commenting on my query. (Thanks for this great resource Rick.)


Sincerely,

AJ

Aug 9, 2011

Query: Cure 4th Revision

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.

Ok, I know I said the last one was the last one, but some new comments caused some significant changes. Hopefully this is it. Thanks, everyone!

Dear Dream Agent,

When it is discovered that the pathogen responsible for zombie infection can cure cancer, human experimentation leads to an outbreak of infection. Miranda Penton’s hybrid infant holds the key to stopping it and Miranda must decide between saving humanity or her own child’s life.

Miranda gave up her budding military career to marry a fellow soldier but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. In the midst of a painful divorce, Miranda accepts an unexpected job offer as a member of the security team for the Nixon Healing and Research Center.

Her new employer has proof that the zombie pathogen can heal cancer, but the cure comes with the risk of infection. The solution: tempering the virus by way of human-zombie hybrid. The condition that caused Miranda’s baby’s demise makes her the perfect candidate to carry an undead’s offspring to term. She becomes the experiment’s next victim, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived.

A rescue team led by her estranged husband reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.

Impregnated with the hybrid and instinctually driven to keep it, Miranda and Scott contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads, Miranda’s infant daughter is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby’s DNA can stop the outbreak and it’s up to Miranda to save her.

CURE is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.

My short stories have appeared in Shroud Magazine, Dabblestone, and on Tales of the Zombie War’s website. My short story, “The Look-alike” earned me honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest 76th Annual Writing Competition. I am a member of the Horror Writer's Association and New England Horror Writers. I would be happy to send you a partial or the full manuscript of CURE. Thank you for your consideration

Regards,

Belinda Frisch

Aug 7, 2011

Query- The Exes in my iPod©

Dear Ms. Slushpile:

The iPod© is one heck of a relationship therapist.

When I got my iPod© Shuffle at age 34, I had no idea that little, shiny square possessed the power to heal. But I quickly discovered my complicated love life could be redeemed with a single playlist.

What’s a girl to do when music is the teleporter to her past lives of failed relationships? Play on. I’d met Mr. Right, or so I’d thought, almost as many times as Madonna sings the word “material” in “Material Girl” (45, if you’re wondering). And hearing each song in my playlist steamrolls me right back to “him.”

The Exes in my iPod© is best described as Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger meets Love is a Mixed Tape by Rob Sheffield. A memoir, Exes is organized as a playlist of 13 songs/chapters, each capturing the essence of my relationship with one ex-boyfriend. After whittling down the deep roster of exes without songs, the remaining 13 men were a fitting reminder that being unlucky in love doesn’t have to mean being unlucky in life. Did I find the bright side in that four-week stint with the svelte model who turned out to be a bisexual coke addict? Check. Did reliving my bicoastal romance with the Black Ops Navy Seal who forgot to mention he was married teach me an even greater lesson? Absolutely. Readers follow my personal journey through life, men and music, as I relive a slew of embarrassing dating disasters, which catapulted me from a college campus in Kansas to a dive boat in Key Largo to a bustling restaurant in Miami—where the real “dish” begins. Along this long, bumpy road to happiness, I forged a career in wine and haute cuisine, ensuring each tale of love, lies and loss is always served with a side order of humble pie (and a glass of Champagne). At the heart of this journey is my struggle to learn the difference between sex and love—and the power of self-respect. Recollection of my past through music has been a powerful tool for understanding the strong woman I’ve become. And it’s been a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy.

Now I’m ready to share my dirty dishes with other women who will recognize themselves—and their relationships— in these stories and songs. My book, The Exes in my iPod©, is approximately 79,000 words. I’ve spent four years polishing this manuscript, and it has been reviewed twice by a professional editor. I'm committed to perfecting it.

A complete book proposal and sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers,
Lisa M. Mattson

Aug 4, 2011

Query- Cure (third revision)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.

Well, this is the last one for now. Thanks for the comments and though I've tried to shrink the word count, I feel the more I take away, the more confusing the story sounds. It's totally different from #1, so what do we think now? Better? I cut out the intro/bio for crit purposes only.

What if the pathogen responsible for zombie infection could cure cancer? What if the cost was human experimentation? What if that experiment led to outbreak? And one infant’s life could stop it?

Miranda Penton gave up her budding military career to marry a fellow soldier but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. In the midst of a painful divorce, Miranda accepts an unexpected job offer as a member of the security team for the Nixon Healing and Research Center.

Dr. Howard Nixon, a brilliant scientist and wealthy physician who is conducting experiments on the pathogen that causes zombie infection, hopes to transform the virus into something that will cannibalize tumors in cancer patients. The problem is, he needs to temper it by way of a living hybrid to avoid infecting those he’s treating. The condition that caused Miranda to lose her baby, secretly the reason Dr. Nixon recruited her, makes her the perfect candidate to carry an undead’s offspring to term.

Miranda becomes Dr. Nixon’s next victim, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived. A rescue team led by Scott, her estranged husband, reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.

Impregnated with an experimental hybrid and instinctually driven to keep it, Miranda and Scott contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads, Miranda’s infant daughter is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby holds the cure to the outbreak ravaging the U.S. population. How far will Miranda go to keep her daughter safe and at what cost to the world?

Cure is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.

Aug 1, 2011

Query-Cure Revision #2

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

I'm striking out here, but am taking all opinions into account. Here's a revision I think is along the lines of the character versus plot critique theme. I hope it's more in-line with what everyone's looking for.


Dear Dream Agent,

Miranda gave up her budding military career to marry fellow soldier Scott Penton but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. Desperate to forget the pain of the loss, Miranda files for divorce and accepts an unexpected job offer at the Nixon Healing and Research Center.

Dr. Howard Nixon, a brilliant scientist and wealthy physician, is using his facility as a cover for human/zombie experimentation and believes that the pathogen that causes the zombie infection can be used to cannibalize tumors in cancer patients, curing them. The problem is that he needs to temper the virus by creating a hybrid to avoid infecting those he’s treating.

Miranda becomes one of Dr. Nixon’s victims, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived. A rescue team led by Scott, her soon-to-be ex, reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.

Miranda realizes she’s pregnant with an experimental hybrid and after battling to keep her pregnancy a secret, her maternal instinct convinces her to keep the baby. The infant is born healthy and normal-appearing, allowing her and Scott to contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads Miranda’s infant is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby holds the cure to the outbreak. How far will Miranda go and at what cost to the world to stop them?

Cure is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.

My short stories have appeared in Shroud Magazine, Dabblestone, and on Tales of the Zombie War’s website. My short story, “The Look-alike” earned me honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest 76th Annual Writing Competition. I am the author of an independently published novel, Dead Spell, which has received great reviews and am a member of the Horror Writer's Association, New England Horror Writers and SCBWI. I would be happy to send you a partial or the full manuscript of Cure. Thank you for your consideration

Regards,

Belinda Frisch