May 10, 2010

QUERY- THE DREAM PLAYER

Dear Agent:

Jake Wakely is no stranger to being a stranger. He’s lived abroad for the first thirteen years of his life. But after being sent to his father's childhood hometown of Sleepy Valley to live with his grandparents, his ‘new kid’ mystique is fading fast.

Jake’s unpopular friendship with Simon, a native Duwali from the Plateau, disrupts the town's spurious peace by exposing their prejudice. The unrest leads Jake to a government plot to keep the public segregated yet dazedly productive in the town’s pharmaceutical factory.

Jake and Simon must awaken the people by convincing them to complete an unfinished lacrosse game from generations past, with Jake and Simon playing in place of their fathers. But when Jake uncovers his father’s fateful role in the unfinished game, he gets caught between his friendship with Simon and his own family legacy.

THE DREAM PLAYER, a young adult thriller, chronicles Jake’s miraculous journey. Readers may find this similar to Holes or Lord of the Flies—real people in imagined settings challenged by nature, the depravity of man and the bioelectrical effects of targeted infrasonic wave generation. (A cliché, admittedly) The completed manuscript is 74,000 words.

Sincerely,
Name

Query- Winter Roses Never Die

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.

Queries for this novel have been posted a few times before, and I thank everyone for their great suggestions! This time I'm trying something more succinct while focusing more on the inspirational side of the story. I think everyone is becoming blaise about good vampire as paramour type stories.

Dear Agent,

Grateful no one noticed her watching from the shadows, Jennie felt like an unworthy, unwanted outsider before this surreal, sumptuous, candlelit world.

How this shy,imaginative, niave woman arrives on the border of Charos' decadent and surreal world makes for the first half of Winter Roses Never Die. How she breaks through her own barricades and those created by the cynical, elusive and troubled Charos makes for the second half. The story of Jennie's inspired journey through the maze of life's mysteries and misleading negativities, brings hope and answers for all.

Winter Roses Never Die is a paranormal and inspirational romance for adults of 94,000 words.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Author Name