Click here to read the original query.
Dear X-and-so,
The night was gloomy and irritable, or possibly suffering from indigestion. The body, fallen from a seventh story window and covered in blood, refused to remain sprawled and was taken to a hospital. The night-shift nurse with the caustic sense of humor christened him "Seven." Saddled with this strange moniker and released from the doctor, Seven has little recourse but to befriend a philosopher named Tori -- who has a marked tendency to pull physical objects out of his hat -- and open a detective agency. The paint is still drying on their office door when a briefcase stuffed full of counterfeit money, an invitation to a murder, and an overabundance of already murdered corpses all begin clamoring for attention at once.
Desperately keeping busy in order to avoid the painful mysteries of self, Seven accepts all of these cases in stride, some at a run. An FBI agent sorely in need of vacation time, an environmentalist organization of ninjas, and the notorious gang of up-and-coming mob boss Eggbert "Eggy" Thornton seem determined to ensure Seven won't survive long enough to resolve anything, anyway. The absurd, almost ridiculous realities encountered by the ensemble cast ensure that the world they inhabit is never dull -- even the minifridge holds disturbing secrets.
Everything is Fine, Nothing is Ruined is a humorous paranormal mystery clocking in at just over 60,000 words, and is my first novel.
[personalized closing explaining why I am querying this particular agent]
Sincerely, &c.
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