Query - Dead Meat (Revised)

Click here to read the original query.

I want to thank everyone who commented on the last version. Hopefully this one is a bit closer to the mark.


Dear Agent,

In my thriller Dead Meat, the only thing standing between America and a trumped-up war in a foreign land is a guy who drives a thirty-foot promotional vehicle shaped like a canned ham. But that’s just Gil Becker’s day job. See, he kills people. Professionally. He’s so good at it, the Department of Homeland Security thought he should work for them. They put Becker in the game to figure out who was really responsible for blowing up a Las Vegas casino, but the clues lead away from the Colombian revolutionaries who claimed credit, and closer to something more sinister in the old US of A.

So when five guys in body armor try to kill Becker while he’s singing off-key in the shower, he gets mad. He recognizes one of the attackers: he works (worked) for one of those private contractors, run by a pair of guys he knew from his Navy days. Mercenaries. Men afraid of losing lucrative government contracts once America reduces its presence in the Middle East. They’ve pissed off the wrong guy, and now it’s personal.

Dead Meat weighs in at 68,700 words. I received First Place in the 1,000-Word Fiction Contest at the ---- Conference, and Honorable Mention in 2008. I am a member of the ---- Writer's Association. Upon request I can send you the complete manuscript.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my work.

Sincerely,

Me

Query- A Cover Story

This is just the meat of the query

Cleo Caswell never knew her father, but if he was of the same breed as her Las Vegas showgirl mother, one parent is plenty, thank you very much. Now, thanks to Mom and her mother's new lover, a not quite over-the-hill showgirl, Cleo has given up her shot at being a respected journalist for a job at a smarmy tabloid.

Not everything at the tabloid is repulsive however. Cleo certainly never expected anyone on the dark side would have her thinking wicked thoughts. But Alec is more than a pretty face (or even an enticing hardbody) as he proves when Cleo's mother is arrested for the murder of a Las Vegas casino owner. Cleo needs help to prove her mother's innocence, and if that means she has to pander to Alec's pursuit of a lurid story about murder, sex, and money, she'll do it. She won't like it but she might just learn that she doesn't have to win a Pulizer to be proud of what she does and that love can be found in the strangest places.

Thanks to all.