Dear Agent:
I am currently
seeking representation for my novel Conquered. Conquered is a 78,000
word romance, set within a fictional civilization that mirrors the
ancient times of Rome and Persia.
Amarah is haunted by loss, as
her village was destroyed by the tyrant King Xavier. Just as she forces
away images of war Xavier emerges once again. The king becomes
captivated by her innocent beauty and steals her away. During the voyage
to Xavier’s land of Etheridge Amarah develops feelings for Kaiden.
Kaiden is a lower rank Etheridgian soldier who becomes challenged by his
love for Amarah and his duty to his king. When Amarah arrives to the
palace she is thrown into Xavier’s world of women, where ultimately she
must yield to him. Through her submission Amarah learns she is more than
a concubine to the king. She is not flattered by his adoration and when
Kaiden returns to her life, Amarah will do anything to be with him. She
will risk her life, and even con the king with seduction and promises
of devotion. As Amarah’s plot unravels she finds Xavier is not as
blinded by his affections for her as she assumed. Amarah must decide
what is important, the love she possesses for Kaiden, or her safety as
her plans of deceit is uncovered.
I studied with the Institute
of Children’s Literature and I am a member of several online critique
groups. I am the author of the recently published science fiction
romance, Beyond Gavia.
Thank you for your time and attention.
Sincerely,
Crystal Parney
Showing posts with label Romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Romance. Show all posts
Nov 12, 2012
May 22, 2012
Query: KEY OF EDEN
Dear Agent,
We are pleased to submit for consideration our young adult paranormal romance KEY OF EDEN. In this 70,000 word tale of violence, miracles, and romance, seventeen-year-old Ava Monroe must defeat the fallen angels before the world is destroyed and the forces of the apocalypse are unleashed.
When she is attacked by a group of blood thirsty angels called the fallen she is rescued by Barak and his three heavenly sidekicks, the guardians. They ambush the ungodly creatures and send them tucking tail and licking their wounds. Ava learns that she is the key to Eden and the catalyst for defeating the fallen and their attempt to regain power over mankind—what does that even mean?
Dodging the steroid driven jock that is stocking her, evading her guidance councilor’s suspicious questions, obeying the rules of the guardian dictatorship (she doesn’t mind if the rules involves exile with the Sexy Barak), and passing the SAT’s—leaves Ava little time to for much else. But, when Ava’s BFF (more like sister from another mother) Erica is captured by the fallen she has two choices: to join the fallen angels and save her friend or join the guardians and save all of mankind.
KEY OF EDEN was the joint effort of Stacey Hays and Jennifer Nichols. We are cousins-turned-writing-partners. We are both from the Bowling Green area, members of SCBWI and contributing authors to the blog Our Pages Aren’t Numbered.
We would be happy to send you the manuscript upon request. Thank you for your time.
We are pleased to submit for consideration our young adult paranormal romance KEY OF EDEN. In this 70,000 word tale of violence, miracles, and romance, seventeen-year-old Ava Monroe must defeat the fallen angels before the world is destroyed and the forces of the apocalypse are unleashed.
When she is attacked by a group of blood thirsty angels called the fallen she is rescued by Barak and his three heavenly sidekicks, the guardians. They ambush the ungodly creatures and send them tucking tail and licking their wounds. Ava learns that she is the key to Eden and the catalyst for defeating the fallen and their attempt to regain power over mankind—what does that even mean?
Dodging the steroid driven jock that is stocking her, evading her guidance councilor’s suspicious questions, obeying the rules of the guardian dictatorship (she doesn’t mind if the rules involves exile with the Sexy Barak), and passing the SAT’s—leaves Ava little time to for much else. But, when Ava’s BFF (more like sister from another mother) Erica is captured by the fallen she has two choices: to join the fallen angels and save her friend or join the guardians and save all of mankind.
KEY OF EDEN was the joint effort of Stacey Hays and Jennifer Nichols. We are cousins-turned-writing-partners. We are both from the Bowling Green area, members of SCBWI and contributing authors to the blog Our Pages Aren’t Numbered.
We would be happy to send you the manuscript upon request. Thank you for your time.
Jan 17, 2012
QUERY- ONCE MORE AROUND THE BLOCK
Sorry for the delay in posting, I was traveling and the hotel WiFi kept dropping my connection. I have another query scheduled to post tomorrow afternoon (revision to COMING OF THE DUKEBARR).
- Rick
Dear Agent:
Gail's life has not been perfect. She might have avoided making a few important decisions, like who to marry and where to live. After her arranged marriage fails, she is paralyzed with fear and spends the first three months hiding behind the pages of her Harlequin romance novels.
Encouraged by her best friend, Gail makes the decision to strike out on her own. She gets a little unexpected help from a strange cast of characters, her over-the-top grandmother, and Tony Cimino, the man who waits patiently for her to finally see him.
Both over-shadowed by siblings, Gail and Tony have learned to settle for what they were told was all they could expect from life. He hides landscape magazines behind the ovens of his father's pizza and sub joint on Broadway. She hides behind thick lenses and dreams of studying graphic art.
Gail did not expect to love her new life, and never expected the love of another to find her. She cannot believe he is her chance at happiness and tries to push him away. But Tony, a man who knows what he wants and sees it in Gail, is not going to give up so easily.
ONCE MORE AROUND THE BLOCK, complete at 80K words, is a love story about two people who find the courage to start over. I would be happy to send part of all of the complete manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
FIRST PAGE:
II was certain something lethal was about to hurl through space and split me in two. As it turned out, Ben didn't need a ballistic missile or a grenade launcher, he only needed a piece of notepaper.
Dear Gail, I wish there was something more I could say. Have a great life. Benjamin Silverstein.
The phone in the apartment was dead, so I used the cell to call my friend, Marcy. "He did what?"
"That lousy bastard. He left me a Dear Gail note and signed it Benjamin Silverstein, like I didn't know his last name."
"Where are you?"
I paced around in a circle by the wall phone near our pass-through. "I'm in our apartment … our empty apartment. He cleaned me out. You've got to come and get me."
"Aw shit Gail, there's a blizzard out there."
"I don't care. You said your friend has a heavy all terrain vehicle. Please Marcy, you've got to get here."
"Hold up." She covered the phone, but I could still hear. "Bruno, we can play French Maid all night."
"Yeah, but I gotta get the truck back."
"No, you don't. You'll tell him it's under three feet of snow, which is where I'll put you if you don't get your pants on and get me over there."
She got back on with me, "No problem, Gail."
"French Maid, Marcy?"
"Yeah, he's tired of the Cowgirl. Good thing, those chaps were killing my thighs."
After she clicked off, I roamed through the rooms. The only things left were four boxes, shreds of excelsior, packing tape, a week-old Daily News, and three empty beer cans, not his brand.
Ten days basking in the sun and lounging on the pristine beaches of St. Croix, ten days to work on my life plan and decide what I wanted to be when I grew up, shattered by a three by a three piece of paper. I looked through our bedroom window to the black late afternoon sky, willing myself to picture Ben's face as he wrote his final farewell to our bogus marriage. "Yeah, well fuck you too."
- Rick
Dear Agent:
Gail's life has not been perfect. She might have avoided making a few important decisions, like who to marry and where to live. After her arranged marriage fails, she is paralyzed with fear and spends the first three months hiding behind the pages of her Harlequin romance novels.
Encouraged by her best friend, Gail makes the decision to strike out on her own. She gets a little unexpected help from a strange cast of characters, her over-the-top grandmother, and Tony Cimino, the man who waits patiently for her to finally see him.
Both over-shadowed by siblings, Gail and Tony have learned to settle for what they were told was all they could expect from life. He hides landscape magazines behind the ovens of his father's pizza and sub joint on Broadway. She hides behind thick lenses and dreams of studying graphic art.
Gail did not expect to love her new life, and never expected the love of another to find her. She cannot believe he is her chance at happiness and tries to push him away. But Tony, a man who knows what he wants and sees it in Gail, is not going to give up so easily.
ONCE MORE AROUND THE BLOCK, complete at 80K words, is a love story about two people who find the courage to start over. I would be happy to send part of all of the complete manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
FIRST PAGE:
II was certain something lethal was about to hurl through space and split me in two. As it turned out, Ben didn't need a ballistic missile or a grenade launcher, he only needed a piece of notepaper.
Dear Gail, I wish there was something more I could say. Have a great life. Benjamin Silverstein.
The phone in the apartment was dead, so I used the cell to call my friend, Marcy. "He did what?"
"That lousy bastard. He left me a Dear Gail note and signed it Benjamin Silverstein, like I didn't know his last name."
"Where are you?"
I paced around in a circle by the wall phone near our pass-through. "I'm in our apartment … our empty apartment. He cleaned me out. You've got to come and get me."
"Aw shit Gail, there's a blizzard out there."
"I don't care. You said your friend has a heavy all terrain vehicle. Please Marcy, you've got to get here."
"Hold up." She covered the phone, but I could still hear. "Bruno, we can play French Maid all night."
"Yeah, but I gotta get the truck back."
"No, you don't. You'll tell him it's under three feet of snow, which is where I'll put you if you don't get your pants on and get me over there."
She got back on with me, "No problem, Gail."
"French Maid, Marcy?"
"Yeah, he's tired of the Cowgirl. Good thing, those chaps were killing my thighs."
After she clicked off, I roamed through the rooms. The only things left were four boxes, shreds of excelsior, packing tape, a week-old Daily News, and three empty beer cans, not his brand.
Ten days basking in the sun and lounging on the pristine beaches of St. Croix, ten days to work on my life plan and decide what I wanted to be when I grew up, shattered by a three by a three piece of paper. I looked through our bedroom window to the black late afternoon sky, willing myself to picture Ben's face as he wrote his final farewell to our bogus marriage. "Yeah, well fuck you too."
Jan 1, 2012
QUERY-His Muse(Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear [Editor],
Coralie Boisson has one night in Arles to sign a deal with the handsome, and possibly mad, artist Jonah Struik. It’s her big chance to finally prove to her father that she is just as good of an art dealer as the men at their Paris art house. The fact that Jonah is the biggest rival of the secret lover that spurned her only sweetens the deal.
Jonah Struik, who abandoned the fashionable society of Victorian Paris after his fiancée jilted him, only agreed to deal with Boisson & Cie. in order to pay back his debts. When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker the sale, he knows that his former employer must be playing games with him. Only a strange feeling that he knows Coralie from somewhere other than the art world keeps Jonah from walking out of their meeting.
Jonah soon realizes that Coralie is not the silly or manipulative dilettante he thought she was. And Coralie realizes that Jonah isn’t the madman the art world has labeled him as. The two come to find that they might just be the cure to each other’s loneliness.
HIS MUSE is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Dear [Editor],
Coralie Boisson has one night in Arles to sign a deal with the handsome, and possibly mad, artist Jonah Struik. It’s her big chance to finally prove to her father that she is just as good of an art dealer as the men at their Paris art house. The fact that Jonah is the biggest rival of the secret lover that spurned her only sweetens the deal.
Jonah Struik, who abandoned the fashionable society of Victorian Paris after his fiancée jilted him, only agreed to deal with Boisson & Cie. in order to pay back his debts. When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker the sale, he knows that his former employer must be playing games with him. Only a strange feeling that he knows Coralie from somewhere other than the art world keeps Jonah from walking out of their meeting.
Jonah soon realizes that Coralie is not the silly or manipulative dilettante he thought she was. And Coralie realizes that Jonah isn’t the madman the art world has labeled him as. The two come to find that they might just be the cure to each other’s loneliness.
HIS MUSE is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Dec 31, 2011
QUERY- HIS MUSE
Dear [Editor],
Acquiring the work of Jonah Struik is Coralie Boisson's big chance to prove to the other art dealers at Boisson & Cie. that she is just as good at the job as any man, if not better. But more than that, Coralie can't wait to help her former lover's biggest rival steal the spotlight of the Parisian art world.
When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker a deal, he knows that the meeting must be a joke. But there is a familiarity about Coralie that keeps Jonah from walking out. He senses he knows her, but how?
Can the two begin to trust each other with their sordid pasts or will it end up another lonely night in Arles for the both of them?
His Muse is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Acquiring the work of Jonah Struik is Coralie Boisson's big chance to prove to the other art dealers at Boisson & Cie. that she is just as good at the job as any man, if not better. But more than that, Coralie can't wait to help her former lover's biggest rival steal the spotlight of the Parisian art world.
When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker a deal, he knows that the meeting must be a joke. But there is a familiarity about Coralie that keeps Jonah from walking out. He senses he knows her, but how?
Can the two begin to trust each other with their sordid pasts or will it end up another lonely night in Arles for the both of them?
His Muse is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Dec 15, 2011
Query- White Trash Beautiful (Original)
Dear [Agent name],
Trey Aston has stolen from the mob.
Desperate to save her life, she begs her father for help, and agrees to sell her body as repayment. Every penny she earns goes into making up for his sacrifice, but when Trey discovers he hasn’t been making the payments, she’s forced to turn to the one man she hoped never to see again.
As a deputy of the Parkvista Police Department, Luke Johnson refuses to acknowledge his high school sweetheart is a prostitute and is determined to make Trey see it for herself. That is, until she starts treating him as a client. His faith in his ability to know right from wrong is challenged and he isn’t the only one who’s noticed. His brothers on the force don’t have his back where Trey is concerned, leaving him to fight against them for a criminal.
The Family is out to make her pay, her father’s drunken rages are getting worse, and the town is cracking down on prostitution, but what really has Trey on edge is the fact she’s falling for the deputy who wants her behind bars.
WHITE TRASH BEAUTIFUL is a romantic suspense short story complete at 17,000 words.
[Pub creds, etc]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Trey Aston has stolen from the mob.
Desperate to save her life, she begs her father for help, and agrees to sell her body as repayment. Every penny she earns goes into making up for his sacrifice, but when Trey discovers he hasn’t been making the payments, she’s forced to turn to the one man she hoped never to see again.
As a deputy of the Parkvista Police Department, Luke Johnson refuses to acknowledge his high school sweetheart is a prostitute and is determined to make Trey see it for herself. That is, until she starts treating him as a client. His faith in his ability to know right from wrong is challenged and he isn’t the only one who’s noticed. His brothers on the force don’t have his back where Trey is concerned, leaving him to fight against them for a criminal.
The Family is out to make her pay, her father’s drunken rages are getting worse, and the town is cracking down on prostitution, but what really has Trey on edge is the fact she’s falling for the deputy who wants her behind bars.
WHITE TRASH BEAUTIFUL is a romantic suspense short story complete at 17,000 words.
[Pub creds, etc]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Feb 19, 2011
Query- Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost
When Elizabeth "Lizzie" Brogan returns home from an extended trip, her Aunt Annie May greets her with a request. She asks Lizzie to help her get to the stage door of The Belasco Theatre by first call to meet her true love, Dan "Curly" O'Brien. This should be a simple task, but for the fact that Annie, once a successful musical star on Broadway, has been dead for twenty-seven years.
Annie lives in a giant tramp steamer trunk, the same trunk Lizzie takes on her travels for eight years. At the end of their last trip, Lizzie learns it is not only the ghost of Annie May and the other ghosts of Broadway who need her help, it is also her living love-ones.
The predictable life Lizzie left behind has vanished, she must learn to face the failures of her past, help Annie May and her mother, and confront her true feelings for James, her childhood sweetheart.
A love story of parallel worlds, Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost, a paranormal romance complete at 80,000 words, attempts to pair two lovers in our world and reunite two lost lovers in the afterworld.
I participated in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx blog fest, and wanted to take this opportunity to follow up with my query. I read in your post on Guide To Literary Agents, that you are interested in …" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
What sets Lizzie apart is the theme of the New York City Broadway stage. Based on a true story, The Ghosts of Broadway, by Robert Viagas, June 10, 2005, written for Playbill.com, the afterworld in Lizzie takes place at the landmark Belasco Theatre and features the ghost of David Belasco, The Bishop of Broadway himself. It offers a glimpse of an afterworld where the show is always in rehearsal and the lights never go out.
The first xxxxxxxxx follow. Thank you for your consideration.
Repectfully,
Florence Fois
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The dark corners of the attic became my secret playground. Too young to play with my siblings, I dug through their possessions, the rows of boxes filled with my sister's and brother's childhood keepsakes, an old prom dress that Moira had worn, my brother Michael's football uniform. I imagined a dozen stories of them while I played with their trophies, and spent hours sorting their photographs. None could compare to the treasures held in the giant trunk and no stories as fantastic as those of my Aunt Annie May.
The first time I saw her, was a cold day in winter that trapped us in the house, and while outside snow fell in sheets, and wind and ice assaulted the windowpanes, inside Esther baked me chocolate fudge brownies, and I planned a day of playing dress-up. I was eight, went in search of my sister's pompoms, and spent most of the morning in the corner of the attic pretending to be a cheerleader. I heard my mother coming up the stairs and hid behind a row of boxes.
She was talking to the front of the trunk, the way you talk to a person across the table at breakfast. "This weather is about to drive me mad." If there was another person in the room, I didn't hear them. I could only hear my mother's voice. "Aye sister, stay out of the blasted fog."
After my mother left, I walked to the opposite corner, where the giant tramp steamer trunk sat, nestled under the cross beams of the roof. I thought I saw her smile and talked to her. "Hello?"
A clear image of a woman turned and waved, "Hello yourself, Elizabeth."
I remember I wasn't afraid, only excited that I had seen her at last. "Don't run away, Aunt Annie. I'm Elizabeth, your niece. I'm sure mom told you about me."
I looked up and she was perched on one of the rafters. "She did at that, child."
"You're a ghost?"
"Sorry to say, yes I am." And in an instant, the smoke curled downward into the trunk and vanished.
"Aunt Annie?" She was gone.
Annie lives in a giant tramp steamer trunk, the same trunk Lizzie takes on her travels for eight years. At the end of their last trip, Lizzie learns it is not only the ghost of Annie May and the other ghosts of Broadway who need her help, it is also her living love-ones.
The predictable life Lizzie left behind has vanished, she must learn to face the failures of her past, help Annie May and her mother, and confront her true feelings for James, her childhood sweetheart.
A love story of parallel worlds, Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost, a paranormal romance complete at 80,000 words, attempts to pair two lovers in our world and reunite two lost lovers in the afterworld.
I participated in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx blog fest, and wanted to take this opportunity to follow up with my query. I read in your post on Guide To Literary Agents, that you are interested in …" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
What sets Lizzie apart is the theme of the New York City Broadway stage. Based on a true story, The Ghosts of Broadway, by Robert Viagas, June 10, 2005, written for Playbill.com, the afterworld in Lizzie takes place at the landmark Belasco Theatre and features the ghost of David Belasco, The Bishop of Broadway himself. It offers a glimpse of an afterworld where the show is always in rehearsal and the lights never go out.
The first xxxxxxxxx follow. Thank you for your consideration.
Repectfully,
Florence Fois
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The dark corners of the attic became my secret playground. Too young to play with my siblings, I dug through their possessions, the rows of boxes filled with my sister's and brother's childhood keepsakes, an old prom dress that Moira had worn, my brother Michael's football uniform. I imagined a dozen stories of them while I played with their trophies, and spent hours sorting their photographs. None could compare to the treasures held in the giant trunk and no stories as fantastic as those of my Aunt Annie May.
The first time I saw her, was a cold day in winter that trapped us in the house, and while outside snow fell in sheets, and wind and ice assaulted the windowpanes, inside Esther baked me chocolate fudge brownies, and I planned a day of playing dress-up. I was eight, went in search of my sister's pompoms, and spent most of the morning in the corner of the attic pretending to be a cheerleader. I heard my mother coming up the stairs and hid behind a row of boxes.
She was talking to the front of the trunk, the way you talk to a person across the table at breakfast. "This weather is about to drive me mad." If there was another person in the room, I didn't hear them. I could only hear my mother's voice. "Aye sister, stay out of the blasted fog."
After my mother left, I walked to the opposite corner, where the giant tramp steamer trunk sat, nestled under the cross beams of the roof. I thought I saw her smile and talked to her. "Hello?"
A clear image of a woman turned and waved, "Hello yourself, Elizabeth."
I remember I wasn't afraid, only excited that I had seen her at last. "Don't run away, Aunt Annie. I'm Elizabeth, your niece. I'm sure mom told you about me."
I looked up and she was perched on one of the rafters. "She did at that, child."
"You're a ghost?"
"Sorry to say, yes I am." And in an instant, the smoke curled downward into the trunk and vanished.
"Aunt Annie?" She was gone.
Jan 17, 2011
Query- Second Hand News
Dear Agent:
They both needed a way to start over again and get it right this time.
Twenty years have passed since Gail first saw Tony Cimino behind the counter of his father's pizza shop. The first time was a chance encounter she is certain he would not remember. She doesn't know yet that he is her second chance at happiness and tries to push him out of her life. But Tony, a man who knows what he wants and sees it in Gail, is not going to give up so easily.
Second Hand News is about family, the invisible older sister, the vain, status conscience mother and "pretty" younger sister; a story of fun, friendships and final vindication, woven with the antics of a feisty, hilarious Bubbie; the mortar between the bricks. Add Gail's supporting characters; the young Dominican girl who befriends her, the gun-toting ex-vet who helps her, her out of bounds girlfriends, hot dates and two people falling in love.
Chaos rules, as Bubbie escapes from assisted living, moves into her granddaughter's small apartment, and entertains the neighbors singing Ethel Merman tunes late at night in the elevator. Gail fends off dates arranged by her mother and sister, squashes a Yuppie co-op conversion, and uses her wit and talent to find a new career.
Second Hand News, complete at 80,000 words, romantic women's fiction, explores how two people find a better way to live.
I found your name (Insert pertinent agent information) I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
===================================
CHAPTER ONE
Three of us sat on a cold, wooden bench in the judge's chamber and waited. It was a long day and seven others had already finished and been escorted to the next room to sign papers and get a receipt, pending the official document.
When it was my turn, I stood to answer three questions: 1) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, 2) Do you Gail Goldblum Silverstein wish to contest this action, and 3) Do you wish to return to your maiden name?
Nothing came out of my mouth and the girl next to me pulled the edge of my jacket and snapped, "Say something, and let's get the hell out of here."
I gulped, answered each question, and it was done.
We were alone in the room with the judge and his bailiff, who pointed, "This way, miss."
I was officially an ex-wife.
They both needed a way to start over again and get it right this time.
Twenty years have passed since Gail first saw Tony Cimino behind the counter of his father's pizza shop. The first time was a chance encounter she is certain he would not remember. She doesn't know yet that he is her second chance at happiness and tries to push him out of her life. But Tony, a man who knows what he wants and sees it in Gail, is not going to give up so easily.
Second Hand News is about family, the invisible older sister, the vain, status conscience mother and "pretty" younger sister; a story of fun, friendships and final vindication, woven with the antics of a feisty, hilarious Bubbie; the mortar between the bricks. Add Gail's supporting characters; the young Dominican girl who befriends her, the gun-toting ex-vet who helps her, her out of bounds girlfriends, hot dates and two people falling in love.
Chaos rules, as Bubbie escapes from assisted living, moves into her granddaughter's small apartment, and entertains the neighbors singing Ethel Merman tunes late at night in the elevator. Gail fends off dates arranged by her mother and sister, squashes a Yuppie co-op conversion, and uses her wit and talent to find a new career.
Second Hand News, complete at 80,000 words, romantic women's fiction, explores how two people find a better way to live.
I found your name (Insert pertinent agent information) I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
===================================
CHAPTER ONE
Three of us sat on a cold, wooden bench in the judge's chamber and waited. It was a long day and seven others had already finished and been escorted to the next room to sign papers and get a receipt, pending the official document.
When it was my turn, I stood to answer three questions: 1) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, 2) Do you Gail Goldblum Silverstein wish to contest this action, and 3) Do you wish to return to your maiden name?
Nothing came out of my mouth and the girl next to me pulled the edge of my jacket and snapped, "Say something, and let's get the hell out of here."
I gulped, answered each question, and it was done.
We were alone in the room with the judge and his bailiff, who pointed, "This way, miss."
I was officially an ex-wife.
Jan 14, 2011
Query: Nepenthe (third revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Kate is twenty-three years old, has just started up her own café, and is addicted to adrenaline. Michael, a ghost, teaches her to convert the fear that people naturally feel in his presence, and turn it into an adrenaline rush. It’s a harmless thrill, until the ghost wants her dead.
Michael has been wandering the earth alone since he died in the 1800’s, looking for distractions to help him forget painful memories of his life. If Kate becomes a ghost and stays with him, he promises to teach her how to forget the traumatic event in her past that has been driving her need for adrenaline fixes. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael finds Kate and her boyfriend on a date at the fair, the entire hall of mirrors shatters.
Michael begins to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her, hoping that his constant adrenaline giving presence with convince Kate that she needs him. She is unable to escape Michael, which puts her boyfriend in Michael's reach if her boyfriend gets too close. Kate’s boyfriend isn’t willing to give up on her.
Kate’s life isn’t the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 101,000 words.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Kate is twenty-three years old, has just started up her own café, and is addicted to adrenaline. Michael, a ghost, teaches her to convert the fear that people naturally feel in his presence, and turn it into an adrenaline rush. It’s a harmless thrill, until the ghost wants her dead.
Michael has been wandering the earth alone since he died in the 1800’s, looking for distractions to help him forget painful memories of his life. If Kate becomes a ghost and stays with him, he promises to teach her how to forget the traumatic event in her past that has been driving her need for adrenaline fixes. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael finds Kate and her boyfriend on a date at the fair, the entire hall of mirrors shatters.
Michael begins to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her, hoping that his constant adrenaline giving presence with convince Kate that she needs him. She is unable to escape Michael, which puts her boyfriend in Michael's reach if her boyfriend gets too close. Kate’s boyfriend isn’t willing to give up on her.
Kate’s life isn’t the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 101,000 words.
Jan 6, 2011
Query: Nepenthe (Second Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate wants to forget it happened. Kate meets Michael, a ghost, who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. The fear based adrenaline high Kate gets from Michael is an addicting escape. Michael promises to teach Kate how to forget her past permanently if she will become a ghost with him. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael walks in on Kate during a date with her new boyfriend at the county fair, the entire fun house hall of mirrors shatters.
Determined not to lose Kate, Michael gives up wandering the earth freely to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her. Kate must keep her now constant, ghost companion away from her boyfriend since Michael has vowed to kill him. Yeah, Kate is really won over by Michael now.
Kate discovers that if she can rid herself of the regret that drew Michael to her, she will be able to banish him. But Kate can’t let go of her guilt. And, despite Kate’s precautions, Michael just found a way to get at her boyfriend.
Nepenthe is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words
Click here to read the first revision.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate wants to forget it happened. Kate meets Michael, a ghost, who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. The fear based adrenaline high Kate gets from Michael is an addicting escape. Michael promises to teach Kate how to forget her past permanently if she will become a ghost with him. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael walks in on Kate during a date with her new boyfriend at the county fair, the entire fun house hall of mirrors shatters.
Determined not to lose Kate, Michael gives up wandering the earth freely to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her. Kate must keep her now constant, ghost companion away from her boyfriend since Michael has vowed to kill him. Yeah, Kate is really won over by Michael now.
Kate discovers that if she can rid herself of the regret that drew Michael to her, she will be able to banish him. But Kate can’t let go of her guilt. And, despite Kate’s precautions, Michael just found a way to get at her boyfriend.
Nepenthe is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words
Jan 4, 2011
Query: Nepenthe (First Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
To distract her from guilt, Kate turns her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush. That is, until the ghost wants her to become one too.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate meets Michael, a ghost who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. She not only learns to get a high from his presence, but gets to experience what it’s like to be a ghost when Michael pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps. Kate knows Michael is lonely, but has no idea what he’ll do to keep her with him.
When Kate becomes accustomed to the adrenaline and her high wanes, Michael asks her to die and choose to become a ghost with him. If she does, Michael promises to teach her how to forget her past permanently. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die. She asks Michael to leave. Determined not to lose her, Michael gives up being earthbound and binds to Kate so he haunts her specifically. She is unable to escape Michael’s volatile emotions, which can hurl objects and break glass. Yeah, Kate is really won over now.
Mostly she is worried about keeping those close to her safe from Michael’s presence. When Kate’s relationship with her mountain biking partner, Ethan, moves past platonic, Michael vows to remove him permanently. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. The manuscript is complete, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
To distract her from guilt, Kate turns her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush. That is, until the ghost wants her to become one too.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate meets Michael, a ghost who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. She not only learns to get a high from his presence, but gets to experience what it’s like to be a ghost when Michael pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps. Kate knows Michael is lonely, but has no idea what he’ll do to keep her with him.
When Kate becomes accustomed to the adrenaline and her high wanes, Michael asks her to die and choose to become a ghost with him. If she does, Michael promises to teach her how to forget her past permanently. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die. She asks Michael to leave. Determined not to lose her, Michael gives up being earthbound and binds to Kate so he haunts her specifically. She is unable to escape Michael’s volatile emotions, which can hurl objects and break glass. Yeah, Kate is really won over now.
Mostly she is worried about keeping those close to her safe from Michael’s presence. When Kate’s relationship with her mountain biking partner, Ethan, moves past platonic, Michael vows to remove him permanently. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. The manuscript is complete, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Jan 3, 2011
Query: Nepenthe
Dear__________,
Kate finds that turning her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush is a great distraction from unresolved, past issues. That is, until the ghost almost kills her.
Michael, a particularly powerful ghost, wants Kate to die and choose to stay as a ghost with him. He pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps so she can experience what it’s like. Kate seriously considers becoming one permanently, but there are reasons to live.
One of those reasons is Ethan, who is quickly becoming more than a friend. Michael will do anything to get rid of Ethan, and Kate is kicking herself for being too bent on an adrenaline high to consider the town psychic when she warned her about Michael’s true identity. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
Set in the small mountain town of Waterton, Alberta, NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. It is my first novel. The manuscript is complete, has undergone a manuscript evaluation and copy edit, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your consideration,
Kate finds that turning her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush is a great distraction from unresolved, past issues. That is, until the ghost almost kills her.
Michael, a particularly powerful ghost, wants Kate to die and choose to stay as a ghost with him. He pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps so she can experience what it’s like. Kate seriously considers becoming one permanently, but there are reasons to live.
One of those reasons is Ethan, who is quickly becoming more than a friend. Michael will do anything to get rid of Ethan, and Kate is kicking herself for being too bent on an adrenaline high to consider the town psychic when she warned her about Michael’s true identity. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
Set in the small mountain town of Waterton, Alberta, NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. It is my first novel. The manuscript is complete, has undergone a manuscript evaluation and copy edit, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your consideration,
Dec 17, 2010
Query: Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost.
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Two months before Lizzie is to leave for Brooklyn to complete a project for her parents, her mother sends her Aunt Annie May's giant tramp steamer trunk and her theatrical trunk from The Belasco. Her instructions are to help Annie get to the stage door of the theatre by first call to meet her true love, Dan "Curley" O'Brien.
A simple task but for the fact Annie May, once a successful musical star on Broadway, has been dead for twenty-seven years.
Lizzie traveled the globe for years, trying to run away from herself. Once settled in Brooklyn, she begings to confront her past and her true feelings for James, her childhood sweetheart. While they begin to rebuild their burned bridges and Curley waits each night at the stage door of the Belasco Theatre, time is running out for Annie.
Lizzie must learn how to use her long dormant power of enchantment before her aunt is lost for eternity in the cold gray fog between two worlds and she is killed by three evil faires bent on capturing her soul and her gift.
Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost, a paranormal romance complete at 90,000 words attempts to pair two lovers in our world and reunite two lost lovers in the afterworld.
I have read your website and believe my work reflects the work of other authors you currently represent. A romance novel, what sets Lizzie apart is the theme of the New York City Broadway stage, the Bishop of Broadway himself and a glimpse of an afterworld where the show is always in rehersal and the lights never go out.
==================================
CHAPTER ONE
My mother carried me to the attic for years, at first holding me in her arms and then later, guiding me up the long circular staircase leading from the second floor hall.
She explained that what looked like a giant's suitcase was a trunk. She told me what it was called and as the late afternoon sun angled through the tiny dormer window above us, she opened its four compartments to show me its magical contents. "This was your Aunt Annie's trunk. She's an angel in heaven now, but she left this for you, Elizabeth."
She loved to tell me about my aunt's life as a Broadway star, read from newspapers and magazines and brought her to life for me. "This is the dress Aunt Annie wore the night she won a very big award, called the Toni."
My questions about her were endless. "If she left the trunk to me, why can't I have it in my bedroom?"
"You're still too young, Elizabeth."
"When I get older enough, can I wear her pretty dresses?"
"No dear, those dresses are for you to hold, not to wear."
I loved to play in the dark corners of the attic, peeking into the boxes of my sister's and brother's childhood keepsakes; an old prom dress that Moira had worn, my brother Michael's football uniform, trophies and photographs, dusty lamps and some old furniture. The attic was a child's playground, and being too young to play with my siblings, I dug through their treasures and imagined stories of them. None could compare to the treasures held in the giant trunk and no stories as fantastic as those of Annie May.
The first time I saw her, she was pale and gray, like smoke curling up from the corner of the room. I was six and went to the attic to play with my sister's pompoms. I walked slowly toward the corner of the room where the giant tramp steamer trunk sat, nestled under the cross beams of the roof.
I thought I saw her smile. "Hello?"
A clear image of a woman turned and waved, "Hello yourself, Elizabeth," and in an instant the smoke curled downward into the trunk and vanished.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Two months before Lizzie is to leave for Brooklyn to complete a project for her parents, her mother sends her Aunt Annie May's giant tramp steamer trunk and her theatrical trunk from The Belasco. Her instructions are to help Annie get to the stage door of the theatre by first call to meet her true love, Dan "Curley" O'Brien.
A simple task but for the fact Annie May, once a successful musical star on Broadway, has been dead for twenty-seven years.
Lizzie traveled the globe for years, trying to run away from herself. Once settled in Brooklyn, she begings to confront her past and her true feelings for James, her childhood sweetheart. While they begin to rebuild their burned bridges and Curley waits each night at the stage door of the Belasco Theatre, time is running out for Annie.
Lizzie must learn how to use her long dormant power of enchantment before her aunt is lost for eternity in the cold gray fog between two worlds and she is killed by three evil faires bent on capturing her soul and her gift.
Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost, a paranormal romance complete at 90,000 words attempts to pair two lovers in our world and reunite two lost lovers in the afterworld.
I have read your website and believe my work reflects the work of other authors you currently represent. A romance novel, what sets Lizzie apart is the theme of the New York City Broadway stage, the Bishop of Broadway himself and a glimpse of an afterworld where the show is always in rehersal and the lights never go out.
==================================
CHAPTER ONE
My mother carried me to the attic for years, at first holding me in her arms and then later, guiding me up the long circular staircase leading from the second floor hall.
She explained that what looked like a giant's suitcase was a trunk. She told me what it was called and as the late afternoon sun angled through the tiny dormer window above us, she opened its four compartments to show me its magical contents. "This was your Aunt Annie's trunk. She's an angel in heaven now, but she left this for you, Elizabeth."
She loved to tell me about my aunt's life as a Broadway star, read from newspapers and magazines and brought her to life for me. "This is the dress Aunt Annie wore the night she won a very big award, called the Toni."
My questions about her were endless. "If she left the trunk to me, why can't I have it in my bedroom?"
"You're still too young, Elizabeth."
"When I get older enough, can I wear her pretty dresses?"
"No dear, those dresses are for you to hold, not to wear."
I loved to play in the dark corners of the attic, peeking into the boxes of my sister's and brother's childhood keepsakes; an old prom dress that Moira had worn, my brother Michael's football uniform, trophies and photographs, dusty lamps and some old furniture. The attic was a child's playground, and being too young to play with my siblings, I dug through their treasures and imagined stories of them. None could compare to the treasures held in the giant trunk and no stories as fantastic as those of Annie May.
The first time I saw her, she was pale and gray, like smoke curling up from the corner of the room. I was six and went to the attic to play with my sister's pompoms. I walked slowly toward the corner of the room where the giant tramp steamer trunk sat, nestled under the cross beams of the roof.
I thought I saw her smile. "Hello?"
A clear image of a woman turned and waved, "Hello yourself, Elizabeth," and in an instant the smoke curled downward into the trunk and vanished.
Oct 20, 2010
Query - MY DEMONIC LOVE (First Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear [Agent name],
Betrayed by her angelic lover, Dendera is punished to live out her days as an immortal in a mortal’s world. She has no demonic powers left and the Afterlife grows into a far memory as she searches for a way to become mortal, realizing the only person who can help her is the man who cost her everything.
Dendera finds she’s not strong enough to keep her distance from her now mortal angel, stalking Ryan in the shadows of New York City for his own protection. Emotions Dendera never experienced as a demon are running high at the idea of letting herself trust him again, but Ryan isn’t her only problem.
An evil far more ancient and violent is out for revenge and the only thing it wants from Dendera is the mortal man she’s protecting.
MY DEMONIC LOVE is a completed work of paranormal romance at 90-000 words. Enclosed I have included [whatever they want]. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Dear [Agent name],
Betrayed by her angelic lover, Dendera is punished to live out her days as an immortal in a mortal’s world. She has no demonic powers left and the Afterlife grows into a far memory as she searches for a way to become mortal, realizing the only person who can help her is the man who cost her everything.
Dendera finds she’s not strong enough to keep her distance from her now mortal angel, stalking Ryan in the shadows of New York City for his own protection. Emotions Dendera never experienced as a demon are running high at the idea of letting herself trust him again, but Ryan isn’t her only problem.
An evil far more ancient and violent is out for revenge and the only thing it wants from Dendera is the mortal man she’s protecting.
MY DEMONIC LOVE is a completed work of paranormal romance at 90-000 words. Enclosed I have included [whatever they want]. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Query: BITCH (working title:)
Dear super agent,
BITCH.
Its what the kids in high school call Lilly Parker. Dumping Keegan Williams earned her the title, but now that he has fled his abusive stepfather and sought refuge at her house, she hopes to shake the label.
But there's a kink in every plan and Lilly's got a whole knot of them.
He mother turns traitor and offers Keegan a permanent place to stay against Lilly's protests.
Keegan's renewed presence ignites old passions, but why shouldn't it? She didn't break up with him because of him. She loved Keegan. It was his stepfather she couldn't handle. So she moved on.
Despite her new boyfriend's frequent disappearances for work, she's falling in love with him. Explaining why her ex is staying with her isn't going to be fun and avoiding it isn't possible. Or so she thinks.
For Lilly, problems don't just evaporate when her boyfriend leaves town and Keegan goes to live with his grandmother, they condense down to one kidnapper waiting for her in her bedroom.
Alone and scared and locked in a cage, she will do anything to get her complicated life back. Even if it means losing both of the boys she loves and tattooing the word BITCH on her forehead. Too bad for her, things are never that easy.
BITCH is a 60,000-word young adult paranormal romance novel and available upon request.
Thank you for you consideration.
Jodi
this is very rough. Give me what you have to pick about. I appreciate suggestions for fixes. Thanks in advance.
BITCH.
Its what the kids in high school call Lilly Parker. Dumping Keegan Williams earned her the title, but now that he has fled his abusive stepfather and sought refuge at her house, she hopes to shake the label.
But there's a kink in every plan and Lilly's got a whole knot of them.
He mother turns traitor and offers Keegan a permanent place to stay against Lilly's protests.
Keegan's renewed presence ignites old passions, but why shouldn't it? She didn't break up with him because of him. She loved Keegan. It was his stepfather she couldn't handle. So she moved on.
Despite her new boyfriend's frequent disappearances for work, she's falling in love with him. Explaining why her ex is staying with her isn't going to be fun and avoiding it isn't possible. Or so she thinks.
For Lilly, problems don't just evaporate when her boyfriend leaves town and Keegan goes to live with his grandmother, they condense down to one kidnapper waiting for her in her bedroom.
Alone and scared and locked in a cage, she will do anything to get her complicated life back. Even if it means losing both of the boys she loves and tattooing the word BITCH on her forehead. Too bad for her, things are never that easy.
BITCH is a 60,000-word young adult paranormal romance novel and available upon request.
Thank you for you consideration.
Jodi
this is very rough. Give me what you have to pick about. I appreciate suggestions for fixes. Thanks in advance.
Oct 18, 2010
Query - My Demonic Love
Dear [Agent name],
Stalking a mortal is easy for a demon, especially one who has been doing it for so long. Punished to live out her days as an immortal in a mortal’s world, Dendera’s grown tired of this empty life on Earth and the only person who can help her is the mortal reincarnate of her angelic lover, a man who cost her everything.
Dendera is drawn to Ryan like a moth to a flame, protecting him from his violent past and watching over him from afar, but she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to trust him again. Emotions Dendera never experienced as a demon are running high at the idea of letting herself fall prey to his charms, but Ryan isn’t her only problem.
An evil far more ancient is out for revenge and the only thing it wants from Dendera is the mortal man she’s protecting.
MY DEMONIC LOVE is a completed work of paranormal romance at 90-000 words. I am an active member in the Las Vegas Romance Writer’s chapter of Romance Writer’s of America. Thank you for your time and consideration. Enclosed I have included, at your request, [whatever they want]. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Stalking a mortal is easy for a demon, especially one who has been doing it for so long. Punished to live out her days as an immortal in a mortal’s world, Dendera’s grown tired of this empty life on Earth and the only person who can help her is the mortal reincarnate of her angelic lover, a man who cost her everything.
Dendera is drawn to Ryan like a moth to a flame, protecting him from his violent past and watching over him from afar, but she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to trust him again. Emotions Dendera never experienced as a demon are running high at the idea of letting herself fall prey to his charms, but Ryan isn’t her only problem.
An evil far more ancient is out for revenge and the only thing it wants from Dendera is the mortal man she’s protecting.
MY DEMONIC LOVE is a completed work of paranormal romance at 90-000 words. I am an active member in the Las Vegas Romance Writer’s chapter of Romance Writer’s of America. Thank you for your time and consideration. Enclosed I have included, at your request, [whatever they want]. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Oct 15, 2010
Amish, Vamps & Thieves
Dear Agent Person:
Anne Levy still considers herself Amish though she’s a vampire. When her brother, Thomas, pleads for her help with the thing mutilating the local farmers’ livestock, she goes home to Millersburg, Ohio, for the first time in over sixty years. But even she’s stumped. Neither the developers after the prime land or the werecoyotes spotted in the area have glowing red eyes or leaves weird tri-cornered bite marks. And it doesn’t help when Thomas’s well-meaning lawyer interferes with her investigation.
When attorney Colin Fitzgerald fled Philadelphia after accident that killed his brother and crippled his nephew, he thought he’d found peace in Millersburg, Ohio. But a simple land battle turns deadly when someone starts killing his Amish clients, not just their animals. Then there’s the mysterious woman he sees roaming Thomas Levy’s property at night. Hoping to catch the culprit behind the murders, Colin follows her one evening and saves her from a demonic creature. But who’s going to save him from the Amish cutie with fangs?
Amish, Vamps & Thieves is a 75,000-word paranormal romance.
Anne Levy still considers herself Amish though she’s a vampire. When her brother, Thomas, pleads for her help with the thing mutilating the local farmers’ livestock, she goes home to Millersburg, Ohio, for the first time in over sixty years. But even she’s stumped. Neither the developers after the prime land or the werecoyotes spotted in the area have glowing red eyes or leaves weird tri-cornered bite marks. And it doesn’t help when Thomas’s well-meaning lawyer interferes with her investigation.
When attorney Colin Fitzgerald fled Philadelphia after accident that killed his brother and crippled his nephew, he thought he’d found peace in Millersburg, Ohio. But a simple land battle turns deadly when someone starts killing his Amish clients, not just their animals. Then there’s the mysterious woman he sees roaming Thomas Levy’s property at night. Hoping to catch the culprit behind the murders, Colin follows her one evening and saves her from a demonic creature. But who’s going to save him from the Amish cutie with fangs?
Amish, Vamps & Thieves is a 75,000-word paranormal romance.
Oct 5, 2010
Query- Second Hand News
Dear Agent:
Gail Goldblum is a New York City woman on the edge. She comes out of a lousy marriage into her grandma Bubbie's two-room apartment in Washington Heights.
Her family arrange blind dates and trick her into meeting men, and Gail rebelling, reunites with old schoolmates, dates two wild "boys" from Princeton and uses her wit and talent to find a new career and survive her family's attempts to marry her off again.
Tony Cimino, the youngest of six children is left behind to run the neighborhood pizza business, though he will not abandon the dream of being his own boss. He doesn't remember Gail, yet there is something about her he needs to know more about.
The first time she knew she loved him, she was in the fourth grade and he was in Junior High School. Twenty years pass, but when she walks up to the counter, time freezes. Second Hand News, an 80,000 word, humorous romance is about starting over. How after twenty years two people find each other and fall in love.
I found your name the first time on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, read your blog every day, and I believe my work meets your criteria. I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your consideration and time.
==================================
Thanks one and all. Look forward to your feedback.
Gail Goldblum is a New York City woman on the edge. She comes out of a lousy marriage into her grandma Bubbie's two-room apartment in Washington Heights.
Her family arrange blind dates and trick her into meeting men, and Gail rebelling, reunites with old schoolmates, dates two wild "boys" from Princeton and uses her wit and talent to find a new career and survive her family's attempts to marry her off again.
Tony Cimino, the youngest of six children is left behind to run the neighborhood pizza business, though he will not abandon the dream of being his own boss. He doesn't remember Gail, yet there is something about her he needs to know more about.
The first time she knew she loved him, she was in the fourth grade and he was in Junior High School. Twenty years pass, but when she walks up to the counter, time freezes. Second Hand News, an 80,000 word, humorous romance is about starting over. How after twenty years two people find each other and fall in love.
I found your name the first time on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, read your blog every day, and I believe my work meets your criteria. I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your consideration and time.
==================================
Thanks one and all. Look forward to your feedback.
Sep 5, 2010
Query- Off the Edge (2nd Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Thanks for all your great feedback. I hope this is my final draft. I don't want to talk more about the accident, because everything I've learned about query says to not give away the ending (cuz the accident is crazy). I'm confused on what genre still. It's a romance novel, but it's also full of adventure and suspense. Any thoughts?
Dear (Agent):
Twenty-year-old Eden Anderson is beautiful, popular, and unlucky in love. When Eden’s parents send her to live with her cousin for the summer on the North Shore of Hawaii, the last thing she wants is to think about boys. She's determined to spend the summer on the beach, healing her heart and working on her tan.
So, when the handsome Noa takes a sudden interest in Eden, she’s right to doubt his intentions—his reputation for being a player is as deep and never-ending as his pocket change. She tries keeping their relationship in the ‘just friends’ category, but Noa's good looks, charming attitude, and constant attention proves difficult to resist.
When Eden agrees to accompany him on a sailing trip to Maui, she finds herself jumping off cliffs (something she swore she would never do again), swimming with sharks, and braving a storm that threatens to sink their tiny sailboat. Eden falls hard for Noa and quickly discovers why his reputation is the talk of the town.
But it might not matter when something unexpected risks everything—including her life.
"Off the Edge" is a complete 94,000 word romance novel.
I spent five years as a tour guide in Hawaii gaining knowledge of the island, culture, and expectations of typical tourists. To find out more, please visit my website at www.erinapelu.com.
I look forward to hearing from you,
Erin Apelu
Click here to read the first revision.
Thanks for all your great feedback. I hope this is my final draft. I don't want to talk more about the accident, because everything I've learned about query says to not give away the ending (cuz the accident is crazy). I'm confused on what genre still. It's a romance novel, but it's also full of adventure and suspense. Any thoughts?
Dear (Agent):
Twenty-year-old Eden Anderson is beautiful, popular, and unlucky in love. When Eden’s parents send her to live with her cousin for the summer on the North Shore of Hawaii, the last thing she wants is to think about boys. She's determined to spend the summer on the beach, healing her heart and working on her tan.
So, when the handsome Noa takes a sudden interest in Eden, she’s right to doubt his intentions—his reputation for being a player is as deep and never-ending as his pocket change. She tries keeping their relationship in the ‘just friends’ category, but Noa's good looks, charming attitude, and constant attention proves difficult to resist.
When Eden agrees to accompany him on a sailing trip to Maui, she finds herself jumping off cliffs (something she swore she would never do again), swimming with sharks, and braving a storm that threatens to sink their tiny sailboat. Eden falls hard for Noa and quickly discovers why his reputation is the talk of the town.
But it might not matter when something unexpected risks everything—including her life.
"Off the Edge" is a complete 94,000 word romance novel.
I spent five years as a tour guide in Hawaii gaining knowledge of the island, culture, and expectations of typical tourists. To find out more, please visit my website at www.erinapelu.com.
I look forward to hearing from you,
Erin Apelu
Sep 2, 2010
Off the Edge Query
Dear (Agent):
Nineteen-year-old Eden Anderson is beautiful, popular, and well endowed. Her adventurous personality and perfect figure makes her the envy of many girls from her small town in Idaho. But Eden is unexpectedly single and always leery of attention from the opposite sex after enduring a life-time of unwanted eyeball body scans and inappropriate comments. After finding the “man of her dreams,” she is dumped and discarded like yesterday’s paper when she won’t take their relationship to the next step—physically.
When Eden’s parents send her to live with her cousin, Claire, for the summer on the North Shore of Hawaii, the last thing she wants is to think about the male species. But Claire puts “Operation Eden” into play from day one, and tries setting her up with beach-volleyball-surfers hoping her cousin will find someone like her own Adonis-like boyfriend. Eden has no intention of indulging her cousin’s desires and only wants to relax on the beach while preparing her brain to start college in the fall.
Everything changes when Eden meets Noa, the mysterious playboy back from college and the one boy who can never be hers. She’s determined to have him, but only in her fantasy—the safest place for her beaten-down heart. When the charming Noa takes a sudden interest in Eden, she’s right to doubt his intentions—his reputation for being a "player" is as deep and never-ending as his pocket change, and she’s not willing to take that train again. Not to mention his “supposed” lunatic ex-girlfriend is stalking her. She tries her best to keep their relationship in the ‘just friends’ category, but Noa's good looks, charming attitude, and constant attention proves this a difficult task. When Eden agrees to accompany him on a sailing trip to Maui, she finds herself jumping off cliffs (something she swore she would never do again), swimming with sharks, and braving a storm that threatens to sink their tiny sailboat. Eden falls hard for the charming playboy, but it might not matter when an unexpected accident will most surely take everything away, including her life.
Eden’s summer adventure in Hawaii starts as a journey of escape, but follows deeper paths of real love and self-discovery. Come join Eden as she spends an adventurous summer in Paradise discovering if taking the leap of love is worth the risk. Told in Eden’s distinctive voice, at turns sarcastic and sensitive, “Off the Edge” is a complete 96,000 word young adult novel.
I spent five years as a tour-guide in Hawaii gaining knowledge of the island, culture, and expectations of typical tourists. Based on my real-life adventures while attending Brigham Young University Hawaii on the North Shore of Oahu, “Off the Edge” brings to life the everyday insecurities that young adults face with heartbreak, love, and lose.
Nineteen-year-old Eden Anderson is beautiful, popular, and well endowed. Her adventurous personality and perfect figure makes her the envy of many girls from her small town in Idaho. But Eden is unexpectedly single and always leery of attention from the opposite sex after enduring a life-time of unwanted eyeball body scans and inappropriate comments. After finding the “man of her dreams,” she is dumped and discarded like yesterday’s paper when she won’t take their relationship to the next step—physically.
When Eden’s parents send her to live with her cousin, Claire, for the summer on the North Shore of Hawaii, the last thing she wants is to think about the male species. But Claire puts “Operation Eden” into play from day one, and tries setting her up with beach-volleyball-surfers hoping her cousin will find someone like her own Adonis-like boyfriend. Eden has no intention of indulging her cousin’s desires and only wants to relax on the beach while preparing her brain to start college in the fall.
Everything changes when Eden meets Noa, the mysterious playboy back from college and the one boy who can never be hers. She’s determined to have him, but only in her fantasy—the safest place for her beaten-down heart. When the charming Noa takes a sudden interest in Eden, she’s right to doubt his intentions—his reputation for being a "player" is as deep and never-ending as his pocket change, and she’s not willing to take that train again. Not to mention his “supposed” lunatic ex-girlfriend is stalking her. She tries her best to keep their relationship in the ‘just friends’ category, but Noa's good looks, charming attitude, and constant attention proves this a difficult task. When Eden agrees to accompany him on a sailing trip to Maui, she finds herself jumping off cliffs (something she swore she would never do again), swimming with sharks, and braving a storm that threatens to sink their tiny sailboat. Eden falls hard for the charming playboy, but it might not matter when an unexpected accident will most surely take everything away, including her life.
Eden’s summer adventure in Hawaii starts as a journey of escape, but follows deeper paths of real love and self-discovery. Come join Eden as she spends an adventurous summer in Paradise discovering if taking the leap of love is worth the risk. Told in Eden’s distinctive voice, at turns sarcastic and sensitive, “Off the Edge” is a complete 96,000 word young adult novel.
I spent five years as a tour-guide in Hawaii gaining knowledge of the island, culture, and expectations of typical tourists. Based on my real-life adventures while attending Brigham Young University Hawaii on the North Shore of Oahu, “Off the Edge” brings to life the everyday insecurities that young adults face with heartbreak, love, and lose.
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