Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Mythical Agent.
November 28th, 2012. Mechanical equipment and technology begin to fail worldwide, inflicting severe casualties. Already nervous, the planet is plunged into a frenzy when days later, news is leaked that an entity is travelling towards earth.
Howard Andersen, a cynic who believes that people are fundamentally untrustworthy and those who appear to be different are simply good actors, is unexpectedly appointed to head FEMA when the Continuity of Government Plan is activated. He faces contempt and hostility from his boss, the Homeland Security Secretary who resents the appointment and wants him out.
Howard’s investigations swiftly allow him to conclude that the disasters affecting the planet are linked to the approach of the craft. Is the planet truly under attack, or is it something else, something that is linked to an ancient Mayan prophecy about the end of days? Even as he grapples with those questions, Howard’s unconventional methods of solving issues gives his boss the leverage needed to oust him. As a sequence of events begins that pushes the planet to the brink of becoming a nuclear wasteland, Howard will have to release the cynicism and bitterness within and embrace the good that is hidden deep within his soul in order to save lives.
THESE ARE THE END OF DAYS is a completed manuscript of 115,000 words. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely
Lenworth Wesley
Jan 24, 2010
Fallen Knight - (3rd Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Ms. Agent,
Jonathan James, the computer genius responsible for hacks into the Department of Defense and NASA. David Berkowitz – the infamous Son of Sam Killer. Eric Harris & Dylan Klebold, the boys responsible for the Columbine tragedy. And last but not least, the Rajneeshee religious cult, responsible for the largest bioterrorism attack in US history. All amateurs! At least that what one individual believes, and now they plan to prove it.
The story takes place over the course of nine days, climaxing on the eve of 2011 when a twisted mind intends on culminating a carefully devised crime spree by eclipsing the events of 26 years ago. At the center of the action is a female private detective who is forced to rely on the help of an aging group of amateur sleuths, all of whom stumble across the plot while investigating the assault of a friend and co-worker. Quickly in over their heads but determined nonetheless, the boundaries of the groups friendship become tested as they suddenly shift from committed pursuers…to unsuspecting quarry.
What would it be like if the Bowery Boys grew to adulthood and squared off against Professor Moriarty? That is the essence of my story.
I am writing to you because you represented DEAD AIR by ED GOLDBERG and I believe my 105,000 word mystery/suspense novel, FALLEN KNIGHT, fits in that mold. Thank you for your consideration of this query. My full manuscript is available at your request.
Sincerely,
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Ms. Agent,
Jonathan James, the computer genius responsible for hacks into the Department of Defense and NASA. David Berkowitz – the infamous Son of Sam Killer. Eric Harris & Dylan Klebold, the boys responsible for the Columbine tragedy. And last but not least, the Rajneeshee religious cult, responsible for the largest bioterrorism attack in US history. All amateurs! At least that what one individual believes, and now they plan to prove it.
The story takes place over the course of nine days, climaxing on the eve of 2011 when a twisted mind intends on culminating a carefully devised crime spree by eclipsing the events of 26 years ago. At the center of the action is a female private detective who is forced to rely on the help of an aging group of amateur sleuths, all of whom stumble across the plot while investigating the assault of a friend and co-worker. Quickly in over their heads but determined nonetheless, the boundaries of the groups friendship become tested as they suddenly shift from committed pursuers…to unsuspecting quarry.
What would it be like if the Bowery Boys grew to adulthood and squared off against Professor Moriarty? That is the essence of my story.
I am writing to you because you represented DEAD AIR by ED GOLDBERG and I believe my 105,000 word mystery/suspense novel, FALLEN KNIGHT, fits in that mold. Thank you for your consideration of this query. My full manuscript is available at your request.
Sincerely,
QUERY - NEAR EDGWARE (fourth revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Dear special Agent
The attraction sixteen-year-old, Jess Trainer, feels for Caleb Ridgeway is driving her to the brink of stalker-staus because his hands linger even while he is trying to push her away.
Jess abuses her position of the Year Book Committee to dissect the Ridgeway brother’s files. In their previous school data, and the bizarre meanings of their full names she finds two possible reasons why they might choose to isolate themselves to the fringes of all social circles. Given the choice between private-school snob and werewolf, the second option seems more desirable.
Jess and Caleb's relationship plunges her into the seething war of attrition being fought in the woodland around Woodford between human hunters, once-human "werewolves" and those born Were. Jess finds this reality hard to stomach, she loves someone who is neither human nor wolf - he is Were.
It is Jess who runs to call back the pack protectors and prevents the massacre of many Were including Caleb, and their pack Apha, when they are attacked by once-human, werewolves.
In the aftermath of the attack, when only one of the feral Were escaped justice, Caleb is so traumatised the pack fear he may never recover. Despite the danger he may doom her, Jess risks her humanity to help Caleb remember the time before pain. She coaxes him back from the brink of madness, with her love.
This book can stand alone but it has series potential.
I teach many disaffected children so I developed my counselling skills. There are many would-be writers but few who understand young people as well, or who would be comfortable speaking to them en-masse. My experience of delivering sex-education sessions to as many as sixty pre-teens is some foundation for selling my work to the target audience.
My novel entitled NEAR EDGWARE is a YA paranormal romance set in a normal secondary school and the woodland, called the Weald, which surrounds the town of Woodford, near Edgware. It is complete in 72,200 words.
Many thanks for your time
Elaine A M Smith
As with my initials I would have to describe my writing as more Kelley Armstrong and less Stephenie Meyer.
I can’t think how – or where – to put the comparative part – it is corny and trite and ... but where does it go?
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Dear special Agent
The attraction sixteen-year-old, Jess Trainer, feels for Caleb Ridgeway is driving her to the brink of stalker-staus because his hands linger even while he is trying to push her away.
Jess abuses her position of the Year Book Committee to dissect the Ridgeway brother’s files. In their previous school data, and the bizarre meanings of their full names she finds two possible reasons why they might choose to isolate themselves to the fringes of all social circles. Given the choice between private-school snob and werewolf, the second option seems more desirable.
Jess and Caleb's relationship plunges her into the seething war of attrition being fought in the woodland around Woodford between human hunters, once-human "werewolves" and those born Were. Jess finds this reality hard to stomach, she loves someone who is neither human nor wolf - he is Were.
It is Jess who runs to call back the pack protectors and prevents the massacre of many Were including Caleb, and their pack Apha, when they are attacked by once-human, werewolves.
In the aftermath of the attack, when only one of the feral Were escaped justice, Caleb is so traumatised the pack fear he may never recover. Despite the danger he may doom her, Jess risks her humanity to help Caleb remember the time before pain. She coaxes him back from the brink of madness, with her love.
This book can stand alone but it has series potential.
I teach many disaffected children so I developed my counselling skills. There are many would-be writers but few who understand young people as well, or who would be comfortable speaking to them en-masse. My experience of delivering sex-education sessions to as many as sixty pre-teens is some foundation for selling my work to the target audience.
My novel entitled NEAR EDGWARE is a YA paranormal romance set in a normal secondary school and the woodland, called the Weald, which surrounds the town of Woodford, near Edgware. It is complete in 72,200 words.
Many thanks for your time
Elaine A M Smith
As with my initials I would have to describe my writing as more Kelley Armstrong and less Stephenie Meyer.
I can’t think how – or where – to put the comparative part – it is corny and trite and ... but where does it go?
Query- Near Edgware (Revision 3)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Agent
Sixteen-year-old, Jess Trainer, does not understand why Caleb Ridgeway hands linger even while he tries to push her away, the attraction she feels for him is chemical and gut-clenching and it drives her to the brink of stalker status.
Jess shocks everyone when she explains the differences she sees between the Ridgeways, they test her visual acuity. But when the brothers know the details of lessons they did not attend, Jess realises they have abilities beyond any normal range. She finds Caleb does not share their most intimate moments with his brothers. After Alex Ridgeway causes Jess’ accident during school’s Orientation Day, Caleb begins to explain why their relationship cannot develop, until the arrival of the Headteacher silences him.
Jess abuses her position on the Year Book Committee to dissect the Ridgeway’s files in school. In their previous school data and the bizarre meanings of their names, she finds two possible reasons why Caleb and his brothers might choose to isolate themselves to the fringes of all social circles. Given the choice between private school snob and werewolf, as the explanation for Caleb’s anti-social behaviour, the second option seems more desirable.
As far as a study of a little-known subculture goes hers is enjoyable, if unscientific. When her persistence fades to long-distance adoration Caleb decides to trust her, not with his secret, but with his heart. Their relationship plunges Jess into the seething war of attrition being fought in the woodland around Woodford between human hunters, once-human werewolves and those born Were. Jess finds this reality hard to stomach, she loves someone who is neither human nor wolf - he is Were.
Caleb explains he is bound to guard and protect everything living alongside the largest Were pack in the United Kingdom in the Weald, near Edgware.
When one of Caleb’s pack allows the feral Were inside their home, it is Jess who, sensing something is wrong, gets inside and finds the dying, the injured and Caleb who has been tortured. With most of the pack patrolling the woods Jess runs to call them back, pursued by hellish humans. She uses her wits to kill one and finds the motivation to turn her balletic karate moves into a lethal force. She holds a vigil, unseen in the dark, while a larger pack than she’d ever met meets to bury the dead.
With only one of the feral Were unaccounted for, everyone has to deal with the aftermath of the attack. Caleb is so traumatised, violent and withdrawn the pack fear he may never recover. Despite their attempts to stop her, Jess locks herself in the room with Caleb to coax him from the brink of madness. She helps him remember the time before the pain, guides him back to reality and to their love.
This book can stand alone but it has series potential.
I teach where supply teachers fear to tread, so added a counselling qualification to my college degree. I build relationships and enable children to overcome barriers to learning. There are many would-be writers but fewer who understand young people as well, or would be as comfortable speaking to them en-masse. My experience of delivering sex-education sessions with up to sixty pre-teens is some foundation for selling my work to the target audience.
My novel entitled Near Edgware is a YA paranormal romance complete in 72,200-words.
I thank you for your time.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Agent
Sixteen-year-old, Jess Trainer, does not understand why Caleb Ridgeway hands linger even while he tries to push her away, the attraction she feels for him is chemical and gut-clenching and it drives her to the brink of stalker status.
Jess shocks everyone when she explains the differences she sees between the Ridgeways, they test her visual acuity. But when the brothers know the details of lessons they did not attend, Jess realises they have abilities beyond any normal range. She finds Caleb does not share their most intimate moments with his brothers. After Alex Ridgeway causes Jess’ accident during school’s Orientation Day, Caleb begins to explain why their relationship cannot develop, until the arrival of the Headteacher silences him.
Jess abuses her position on the Year Book Committee to dissect the Ridgeway’s files in school. In their previous school data and the bizarre meanings of their names, she finds two possible reasons why Caleb and his brothers might choose to isolate themselves to the fringes of all social circles. Given the choice between private school snob and werewolf, as the explanation for Caleb’s anti-social behaviour, the second option seems more desirable.
As far as a study of a little-known subculture goes hers is enjoyable, if unscientific. When her persistence fades to long-distance adoration Caleb decides to trust her, not with his secret, but with his heart. Their relationship plunges Jess into the seething war of attrition being fought in the woodland around Woodford between human hunters, once-human werewolves and those born Were. Jess finds this reality hard to stomach, she loves someone who is neither human nor wolf - he is Were.
Caleb explains he is bound to guard and protect everything living alongside the largest Were pack in the United Kingdom in the Weald, near Edgware.
When one of Caleb’s pack allows the feral Were inside their home, it is Jess who, sensing something is wrong, gets inside and finds the dying, the injured and Caleb who has been tortured. With most of the pack patrolling the woods Jess runs to call them back, pursued by hellish humans. She uses her wits to kill one and finds the motivation to turn her balletic karate moves into a lethal force. She holds a vigil, unseen in the dark, while a larger pack than she’d ever met meets to bury the dead.
With only one of the feral Were unaccounted for, everyone has to deal with the aftermath of the attack. Caleb is so traumatised, violent and withdrawn the pack fear he may never recover. Despite their attempts to stop her, Jess locks herself in the room with Caleb to coax him from the brink of madness. She helps him remember the time before the pain, guides him back to reality and to their love.
This book can stand alone but it has series potential.
I teach where supply teachers fear to tread, so added a counselling qualification to my college degree. I build relationships and enable children to overcome barriers to learning. There are many would-be writers but fewer who understand young people as well, or would be as comfortable speaking to them en-masse. My experience of delivering sex-education sessions with up to sixty pre-teens is some foundation for selling my work to the target audience.
My novel entitled Near Edgware is a YA paranormal romance complete in 72,200-words.
I thank you for your time.
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