Mar 11, 2009

Query: CONTROL ISSUES

Dear Secret Agent,

In a world where Thinkers control the population and Rules are not meant to be broken, fifteen-year-old Violet Schoenfeld does a hell of a job shattering them to pieces.

After committing her eighth lame-ass crime (walking in the park at night [after dark] with a boy, gasp!), Vi is taken to the Green, a group of Thinkers who control the Goodgrounds. She’s found unrehabilitatable (yeah, she doesn’t think it’s a word either) and exiled to the Badlands. Good thing sexy Bad boy Jag Barque will be going too.

Dodging Greenies and hovercopters, dealing with absent-father issues, and coming to terms with feelings for an ex-boyfriend—and Jag as a possible new one—leave Vi little time for much else. Which is too damn bad, because she’s more important than she realizes. When secrets about her “dead” sister and not-so-missing father hit the fan, Vi must make a choice: control or be controlled.

A dystopian science fiction novel for young adults, CONTROL ISSUES is complete at 82,000 words. Fans of Scott Westerfeld’s dystopian UGLIES series will enjoy similar elements, and a strong teen voice.

I am an elementary school teacher by day and a contributing author to the QueryTracker blog by night. If you would like to consider CONTROL ISSUES, I’d be happy to forward the complete manuscript to you.

Sincerely,

ElanaJ

Query- Angel Undercover

A revision of this query has been posted, click here to read it.

Dear Mr./Ms. Agentperson

Paige Moss was an angel undercover long before she knew it. Her friend Dak (a real angel in disguise) told her she’s always had the heart and maybe she just needed the right situation for her courage to show.

After she is whisked far from home, fourteen-year-old Paige decides to escape her shyness by pretending to be like her hero, Everest. She maintains the fa├žade to investigate when her beloved older sister is accused of endangering thousands of lives through an underhanded plot. Keeping up the boldness ruse, Paige exposes the real villain – a visionary with good aims and all the wrong means – and a whole new set of problems spring forth. But her pretending turns into something very real because, while she feels unconfident and fearful inside, others only see a brave and caring young woman. Paige learns that shyness is not a state of existence, but a choice; that her true character is really the sum of her actions. By the end of her myth-and-magic-filled adventures, Paige is organizing a militant force to save her fractured home city from rogues – a far cry from the girl who couldn’t even give a class presentation.

Paige always dreamed of making a difference, but never thought she could… until she did and became the unexpected hero. The angel undercover.

Angel Undercover is a YA fantasy and is complete at 95,000 words. It is the first in a planned quartet.

Kind Regards,