Aug 7, 2009

Query- Savage Grace

I'm late to the party. This is a wonderful idea. Here is my contribution:

Life is cruel. This is a lesson Evangeline Savage learns at a young age. When her mother is murdered and a mysterious visitor claims that Evangeline’s life is in jeopardy, she sets out to find the murderer before he finds her. Her journey takes her to the humid swamps of South Carolina’s low country where she learns of her mother’s involvement with a coven of elemental witches. A coven that reveals Evangeline’s legacy as a member of a family of powerful water witches.

Thrust into a world where magic is real and danger lurks at every turn, Evangeline must decide who to trust. With untapped power the likes of which the magical community has never seen, she becomes the target of a madman out to steal her power for his own. She must unite forces with the dynamic and seductive Justin Hammersley, a fellow water witch, if she is going to survive the coming battle. She trusts him with her life, but dare she trust him with her heart?

Savage Grace is a fast-paced 90,000 word paranormal romance set in South Carolina at the end of the 19th Century. With a strong female protagonist, an unforgettable romance and a vibrant historical setting, it will appeal to fans of such writers as Elizabeth Boyle and Karen Marie Moning. Savage Grace is the first in a four book series entitled The Savages.
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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

A couple comments--focusing on the negative, because you don't need help with the good stuff!

First, I didn't know this was a historical until the last paragraph. Seems important to me to put that earlier.

Second, the title. Savage Grace sounds like a bodice-ripper. Sweet and Savage Love, that sorta thing.

And third, I'd try to bring in specifics--and chop the whole thing down a bit, too.

After Evangeline Savage's mother is murdered in the (place of local color that clues us into the period), she tracks the killer through the (time period detail) to the humid swamps of South Carolina’s low country. There she learns of her mother’s involvement with a coven of elemental witches. (Emotional reaction? 19th century, witches--she recoils?) With a madman closing in, she must join forces with the dangerously seductive Justin Hammersley, a fellow water witch, if she wants to survive."

August 7, 2009 at 9:34 PM
Jamie Wilkinson said...

Thanks for the input. I actually get the bodice-ripper comment a lot. This is a romance (sex and all). I don't really understand what constitutes a "bodice-ripper" so I'm not sure if that is what I am going for or not.

No one else wants to comment? Should I then assume that my query is perfect? Wow, I'm better than I thought ;)

August 8, 2009 at 3:27 PM
Rick Daley said...

You describe the plot well, but I think there are a few things you can do to streamline it.

- Cut the first two sentences. The third sentence is your hook, I think it would be best to lead with it.

- Thy to combine the last two sentenced in the first paragraph. Elemental witches / water witches is repeating words / ideas.

- I suggest setting this appositive off with hypehns:
With untapped power - the likes of which the magical community has never seen - she becomes the target...If not that, then at least a comma before and after.

- I like the juxtaposition you establish with this: "She trusts him with her life, but dare she trust him with her heart?"

I think you can re-shape the rhetorical question into a statement and not lose the punch, e.g. She trusts him with her life, but now she must learn to trust him with her heart.

I think fans of Anne Rice's books may also like this.

August 8, 2009 at 5:03 PM

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