Query - Chuck Steak

Dear ____:

In the first of a series of at least ninety-three books, Chuck Steak, the world's most badass, Dots the candy loving cop, is sucked into a deadly game on his wedding day where he has to convince Mia, his very Christian bride-to-be, along with fifty family members and a priest to get on a bus labeled "Why am I marrying this bitch?" Then, in a rip-off of the movie Speed, he has to keep the bus traveling above fifty-five miles per hour and also marry Mia within twenty minutes or else a bomb in her necklace will explode. However, after the Movie Maniac accidently sits on the remote detonator, Chuck is sent on warpath where he spirals downward and finds himself inviting villains, just like the one he is hunting, into his personal life. The ultimate question is, can Chuck ever hold onto happiness and let go of revenge?

Chuck Steak, completed at 70,000+ words, is not only a satirical crime story, but also a play on the clichés found in almost all novels and movies. As a fan of pop culture, I've set out to create an over the top adventure with a heavy emphasis on sarcasm, but the spotlight is strictly on Chuck—a near immortal man when it comes to action sequences with the strength of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the thirst for revenge like the Punisher and the charisma of Bruce Campbell from Army of Darkness. Like testosterone is to Harry Potter and Edward Cullen, Chuck's only weakness is self-destruction, and he flirts with it the entire novel.

In an unknown preparation for this novel, I've seen over 5,000 movies, 700 of them in the theater with the ticket stubs to prove so, and have searched all over the internet for what people consider the most annoying clichés, coming up with a list in the hundreds. I am already hard at work on the sequel Chuck Steak: A declaration of war on the justice system and the genre of YA where Chuck will run into a villain who thrusts him into a computer programmed world similar to the Matrix filled with fluffy high-school drama and then ultimately into the only true family he's ever known—the justice system.

Accompanied by my minor in English, I've written brochures, press releases and web content for personal businesses. I worked as a freelance editor on the side, and to date, have edited seven full-length novels. In the first quarter of 2010, my 15,000 word short story Uncurable will be published in the fifth installment of the award winning series Twisted Tails. I'm also a twenty-six-year-old stay at home dad who is happily married with a wonderful two and a half year-old son.

If you would like to read Chuck Steak, I will gladly send sample chapters or the entire manuscript. I want to thank you for taking the time to read this query letter, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Matt

(I hope this meets the guidelines-and thanks in advance if this gets posted.)