Feb 1, 2010

The Butterfly Key -- Revision 2

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

First off I would like to thank everyone for their comments. I'm trying hard to condense this down into its essence, hopefully I can get some more of your wonderful feedback. so... with no further ado.

Dear Agent,

When Nicole Kuefler’s seemingly indelible faith crumbles after her miscarriage, she falls into an agonizing conflict against God. Concerned for his wife, Nicole’s husband Drew gathers his family around the Christmas tree to weave a story about God and His so-called providence. This is the allegory of The Butterfly Key.

Christian Bryson’s mother died shortly after childbirth, his father recently lost his battle with cancer. Therefore, when Abigail, his wife, discovers she is pregnant, she decides not to tell him because he is deploying for war.

When wounded in battle, Christian learns he can no longer father children, thus a promise he made to make Abigail a mother haunts his soul. As Christian struggles to accept a pledge he believes he cannot fulfill, Abigail fights for a husband who does not want to come home. Believing he should return for their love and not for a sense of obligation, Abigail decides not to tell Christian about her recent birth.

With their marriage on the verge of collapsing, God intervenes and sends two special travelers to bring Christian home to his wife and unknown progeny.

After Drew finishes his story, he is unsure if Nicole can forgive God. That is, until a unique present appears under the Christmas tree from an invented character in his story. A gift with the power to restore what Nicole had lost – her faith.

THE BUTTERFLY KEY is a 72,000-word work of literary fiction, set within the small town of Columbus, Minnesota. A completed manuscript is available upon your request. I look forward to working with you.

Regards,
A.D.N

3 comments:

A.D.N said...

opps...this is what it should have been...disregard whats posted before this.. thanks.

Dear Agent,

When Nicole Kuefler’s seemingly indelible faith crumbles after her miscarriage, she falls into an agonizing conflict against God. Concerned for his wife, Nicole’s husband Drew gathers his family around the Christmas tree to weave a story about God and His so-called providence. This is the allegory of The Butterfly Key.

Christian Bryson’s mother died after childbirth, his father recently lost his battle with cancer. Therefore, when Abigail, his wife, discovers she is pregnant, she is ecstatic to deliver him some good news. Sadly, before Abigail can tell him, Christian crushes her world by informing her that he is deploying for war. Consequently, Abigail reluctantly decides to keep her pregnancy a secret so Christian can focus on keeping himself alive.

When wounded in battle, Christian learns he can no longer father children, thus his promise of making Abigail a mother haunts his soul. Struggling to accept his calamity, Christian cannot bring himself to tell Abigail about his injury even as she pleads for him to come home. Believing Christian should return for love and not for a sense of obligation, Abigail wrongly decides not to tell him about the birth of their progeny.

With their marriage on the verge of collapsing, God intervenes and sends two special travelers to bring Christian back home to his family.

After Drew finishes his story, he is unsure if Nicole can forgive God. That is, until a unique present appears under the Christmas tree from an invented character in his story. A gift with the power to restore what Nicole had lost – her faith.

THE BUTTERFLY KEY is a 72,000-word work of literary fiction. A completed manuscript is available upon your request. I look forward to working with you.

Rick Daley said...

Would you like me to put this new revision up in its own post?

A.D.N said...

Yes rick I would... I was sleepy last night so I posted the wrong one... lol... so if you can delete and move my first comment up that would be awesome.

thank you sir