Jun 10, 2012

QUERY- ANOMALY

Dear Agent,

I hope you will consider my young adult fantasy novel, Anomaly.

16-year-old Maya is an Anomaly—superhuman. Her ability to teleport, called “shifting,” is a rare and extraordinary one. While adjusting to her new home in London and learning how to control her ability, Maya has to juggle two Anomaly boys: a hunky albeit nerdy Italian who can become transparent, and a sexy British rocker who can nullify electricity but always seems to have a motive other than love. Maya is also targeted by Aristar Industries, a corporation of Anomalies hell-bent on stealing DNA, cloning abilities, and storming the British government. Aristar wants shifters in their ranks—which means they want Maya… or rather, her DNA. A cat-and-mouse chase for her genetic material thrusts Maya into a world of deception, kidnapping, murder, and world domination, where the stakes are high and the consequences of failure deadly.

Being an optometrist and a former National Science Foundation Fellow have groomed my brain for the scientific ins and outs of this novel. I’m a member of SCBWI and when I'm not writing, I'm figure skating or blogging at www.anitasaxena.com. I hope the sample pages will interest you in the full 80,000-word manuscript, which I believe has series potential. It is a simultaneous submission. Thank you for your time.

Best,

Anita
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3 comments:

Anonymous Author said...

Anita, I see you've also got this queued on Evil Editor. Expect a sarcastic comment from him on what motives teenage boys have other than love.

The writing here feels a little clunky. Try to get some voice on the rewrite... make it sound more like I hope your manuscript sounds.

The bio's not necessary and even a bit distracting. The reader's left thinking about optometry and figure skating instead of about your novel... not a desirable outcome.

Include sample pages only if they ask for them. Do not explain why you're including them. They know that.

June 11, 2012 at 11:35 AM
Rick Daley said...

This has a good word count overall, but I agree with Anon that you should cut / trim the bio. Some of the info is unnecessary, and it will free up room for more story description. Scientific detail is secondary to compelling characters and a great story.

Split the story description into two paragraphs. In this version, I think the split should come after "motive other than love." It gives the second paragraph the stage to reveal the antagonist and the main struggle.

I also would not say anything about simultaneous submissions. Most agents know unsolicited queries are not exclusive, as they well should be. I would caution you against exclusive queries. A MS request is a different situation, though.

Good luck!

June 11, 2012 at 6:16 PM
Anita Saxena said...

Thank you for your advice Rick!

June 11, 2012 at 9:52 PM

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