Mar 14, 2009

Query- DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE!

Dear Editor/Agent,

If you stop and think about many of the old sayings we use to calm and soothe our children, you will find that most of them don’t really include much by way of comfort. For example, why do we sing our babies to sleep with a song about them falling “cradle and all” out of a tree? One saying that always gave me the creeps is the one about not letting the bedbugs bite. If there are bugs in my bed, should I really be sleeping there? And yet, I find myself muttering that same old phrase each night when putting my own kids to bed. Therefore, I’ve decided to make the bedbug seem a little less scary and a lot more fun.

I have written a picture book entitled, DON’T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE! It is a quirky, fun bedtime story written in verse with a twist. In it, mom puts her child to bed and spouts the old bedbug adage. Sure enough, the anxious child soon discovers there is indeed a bedbug in her bed. But this is no ordinary bug. Dressed in her own frilly pajamas this weary insect isn’t thrilled to find a human in bed with her either! Can these two adversaries iron out their differences before another night-time fable comes a-calling?

My manuscript is approximately 400 words and is written for the 4-8 age group. It can be sent to you immediately upon request by email or regular post. (Publishing credits go here.) I have enclosed a SASE for your convenience and look forward to hearing from you soon.

5 comments:

Rick Daley said...

I think this sounds like a fun one to read to the kids!

I understand what you are trying to get across in the first paragraph, but it's a bit long, try to get the same message through with 1/2 the word count, so you can get to the story itself.

Many of the agencies I've looked at for my picture book allow you to include the manuscript with the query.

I would strike the "I look forward to hearing from you soon."

storyqueen said...

It is an adorable idea....I can picture it in my head. However, I think you can completely lose the first paragraph. Just open with the second.....see how crisp it reads this way?

Good Luck!

(And there is hope...three of my books were plucked from slushpiles!)

Shelley
(the Storyqueen)

whoever said...

I think the first paragraph should go.

The rest of your query makes your book sound fun and interesting though!

Jan said...

I agree with storyqueen and whoever.
The first paragraph is fun but it doesn't really need to be in the query letter.
The second paragraph is terrific.

Niki Schoenfeldt said...

Thanks everyone! I'll let you all know how I make out.