Apr 18, 2009

Query- Deadly secret

Deadly secret"
A romance gone sour by jealousy. But it wasn't a romance at all, just a one second snapshot that turned into a life-time of memories that ended in murder.

No one suspected Jared of such a deed until he devulged the one bit of evidence only known at autopsy. After all, there was no one else to blame.

The first time I saw Lisa Barrette, she stood outside the schoolyard engaged in girlish chatter with her friends. She did not notice me gawking, silently hoping that one day I would hear those magic words; "Yes, I will go out with you."

I marveled at her soft red hair and her green eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. Mostly, her easy smile and kind demeanor smote me. I summoned that little piece of courage deep inside me. Courage smothered by the tight knot in my gut. Finally, gushing out in high-pitched cracked voice, my attempt at hell-o got their attention. All the girls turned, pointed at me, and giggled, muttering insults that set my stomach on fire. I wanted to run away, hide, or simply vanish. Looking at the ground and feeling shameful for attempting such an act, I started to walk away. I lifted my head and in that moment, our eyes met. Lisa smiled at me and suddenly everything was okay. My heart warmed and I stood tall. I wanted to read the message in her eyes. I wanted her eyes to mirror how I saw her but to my disappointment, all I saw was pity. I accepted her pleasant smile and the apology in her eyes and for now, that was enough.

I saw her in the days that followed, standing at her locker, practicing cheerleader stuff, and briskly walking by me in the halls, never noticing me.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you have something going here.

Eden said...

Is this a query or a sample? I'm confused.

Rick Daley said...

I'm not sure, I posted this as it was received.

Robert A Meacham said...

Sorry guys. I am the one confused. I have heard of so many ways to create a query. this is just one format, a short one as you can see but I guess too little to make an inference to a plot.
Secondly, a small snapshot of the writing. Sorry I did not do this right.

Rick Daley said...

What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.