Apr 27, 2009

Query- Seven-Inch Vinyl Revision 1

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the second revision.

In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.

Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the form of Rock and Roll music!

My first novel SEVEN-INCH VINYL, follows the evolution of rock and roll music as seen through the eyes of Joseph Rabinowitz, a young man who is introduced to R&B music while in the army in Kentucky training for the Korean Conflict and a wealth of other fictional characters. Joseph’s rise through the music business first as an employee at a record store, then as the owner of an independent record company and on as he becomes a legendary songwriter and record producer will parallel real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy, all culminating in a groundbreaking reunion concert in 1969 proving that rock and roll will never die.

My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in Peace Magazine, as well as two articles published in The Las Vegas Tribune and LaVoce monthly newspaper and one published in Golden Oldies Forever, a national specialized music periodical.

The completed 140,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

4 comments:

Weronika said...

Greets! I didn't read the original query, so here are my thoughts on this one--

I think your attention grabber is very weak at this point--I think it's hard to contrast an atom bomb/explosion with rock 'n roll music.

You're also not providing the reader with any hook or attention grabber. Get right into the action--skip Joseph's introduction to R&B music and get to the point--what is he going to do with knowledge of the genre? Why do we care?

Agents are looking for conflict and important decisions, but you have neither right now, and even though your idea is interesting and compelling, I don't think it's strong enough to be picked up.

As for the writing experience, you can cut down on it--list the publications and note that they were on writing topics, but that will suffice to establish a platform.

Weronika said...

Oh, and isn't 140k...really, really long? You need to explain how it got to that length; very few agents will be willing to even ask for a partial of something that size is my guess.

hope101 said...

This is closer, but I don't really know the story of what Joseph is up against that makes the concert such a triumph.

I'm sure you don't read Susan Elizabeth Philips, but she did something similar in a book called "Hot Shots". It's the story of Apple's rise in the time of IBM's dominance as told through the eyes of one particular woman. Here's a copy of the blurb that might help you understand how to slant your query:

http://www.borders.com/online/store/TitleDetail?detail=aboutProduct&sku=067165831X&id=3012904#aboutProduct

Good luck. Your book sounds interesting. I just want to hear more about the main character and less about the sociopolitical backdrop, if that makes sense.

Donald said...

Seven-Inch Vinyl -Revision 2"

In 1953, the whole world was waiting for an explosion.

Both The United States and the Soviet Union possessed a weapon that could blow the world to bits. But when the explosion finally did take place, it didn’t come from an Atom bomb - but in the birth of Rock and Roll music!

As young Joseph Rabinowitz, a New York teenager, trains in Kentucky for combat in the Korean Conflict he is introduced to a new brand of music called Rhythm & Blues. We’ll follow Joseph and a wealth of other fictional characters for sixteen years as the music evolves into something called Rock and Roll and changes the lives of generations of young men and women and with it the course of the nation and the world.

Joseph’s rise through the music business will take him from an employee in a record store in the Bronx, to the founder of an independent record company and on to a legendary songwriter and producer. When the British Invasion of musical artists cripples the American music scene, Joseph will lose it all and slip into quiet mediocrity until, in 1969, when he stages a triumphant re-union concert of artists heralding the beginning of the “oldies but goodies” era which still flourishes today.

My first novel SEVEN-INCH VINYL, transitions between real-life people and events as the music changes through the turbulent decade of the 1960’s. Racism, political unrest, war and assassination will unfold in this family saga of success and failure - triumph and tragedy.

My past writing experiences are all about the 50’s & 60’s music genre. They include two articles published in Peace Magazine, as well as two articles published in The Las Vegas Tribune and LaVoce monthly newspaper and one published in Golden Oldies Forever, a national specialized music periodical.

The completed 137,000 – word manuscript for SEVEN-INCH VINYL is available upon request. A SASE is included for your convenience. I thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,