A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.
Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,
I am seeking representation for my 80,000 word young adult fantasy novel, THE ETERNAL LINK.
Trees start talking, entire ancient villages appear out of nowhere, and the evil wizard Valmont arrives in the future ready to trample all who get between him and immortal power. All of this, because sixteen-year old Catalina wanted to find her true mother and instead causes a rift in time that collides the magical past and the high-tech future.
With the two worlds merging at an alarming rate and time leaps occurring as close as a few feet away, Catalina manages her ever growing powers and accepts her responsibility to restore order as an Eternal, a keeper of time. With so little of her magic developed, Catalina tries to renew the powers of the Eternal before her, an old wizard whose weakness caused Catalina to be chosen in his place. But with time literally running out and Valmont closing in, Catalina chooses between holding onto her hopes of a life with her mother or her duty to return time to its proper state. A state where nothing is left of her new friends, her mother, or the boy she comes to love than dust below her feet.
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3 comments:
Paragraph #2 is strong.
The last sentence of paragraph needs to be reworked. Why? There was no previous mention of friends or the boy anywhere in the query. Although I understand that you're trying to relay that the most important people in her life will be gone if Catalina chooses duty over family,the structure of "than dust below her feet" sounds off.
I really hope this helps! Best of luck!
hmmm...I'm not sure how to rework that. The dust below her feet part has to do with that fact that they would have all died thousands of years before. Any suggestions?
How can you arrive in the future? And Valmont sounds a bit too similar to Voldemort. I found it a bit confusing, sorry!
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