Mar 30, 2010

QUERY - DIARY OF A HOT PINK PARTY GIRL

Click here to read the sample pages.

In only a few months, sixteen year-old Tawny Childers has gone from major slacker to straight A student, but convincing anyone that she’s shed the hard core, party girl reputation is going to take more than good grades.

Her mother’s commitment to give up drinking inspired Tawny to change her own life. While spending the summer in an anonymous support group, Tawny shares an unlikely friendship with star quarterback, Drew Strunkler. 

But when junior year begins, neither can allow their very different paths to cross. Drew’s father, like Tawny’s mother is a recently recovered alcoholic, but he’s also a teacher at their school. Revealing Coach Strunkler’s secret is too big a risk for Tawny and Drew to attempt an in-school friendship, not to mention Drew’s cheer bitch girlfriend and Tawny share the common ground of complete hatred for one another.

 Now Tawny’s alone, trying to find a new place among hundreds of students who see nothing but the easy girl any guy could nail. At least that’s what’s written on the walls of the boy’s locker room.

 She’s thrilled when the editor of the school paper requests her anonymous blog be a part of the Warrior News. Hot Pink Party Girl becomes a huge hit among her classmates. Tawny knows she’s fooling them into seeing the ugliest side to her wild days- alcohol, drugs, and more than a few random hookups.

When Tawny’s feelings for Drew deepen, it doesn’t go unnoticed and only takes a little snooping for someone to discover the truth about Drew’s father and force Tawny into telling her story – the whole story. Hearing details about her past with the clarity of being sober is like reliving it and threatens to send her spiraling back to old habits. 

The biggest challenge lies in convincing herself she truly isn’t that girl and maybe she is worthy of having a guy like Drew Strunkler love her back or anyone for that matter.  DIARY OF A HOT PINK PARTY GIRL is a young adult novel complete at 80,000 words.

3 comments:

Suzan Harden said...

I love the concept, and I think the opening hook's excellent.

The only real problem I see is the length. The query, as presented, is more of one-page synopsis. Take a hard look at what can be cut out. For example: Paragraphs 3 and 4 can be cut since they repeat information in other paragrahs.

The only nit I can pick is Paragraph 5. How is Tawny fooling anyone? From your description, everyone at school has already seen her ugly side, and she'd be the first suspect as the blog's author.

Like I said, I love the whole Gossip Girl/Bridget Jones concept. I think with just a little tweaking you'll be ready to send this out.

Best wishes on your submissions!

jessjordan said...

This query is very lengthy, and parts of it read more like a synopsis. Interesting concept. I am concerned about the whole "cheer bitch girlfriend" cliche, but overall, I think you have something here. Good luck!

Princess L said...

I'd have to agree that it's a little too long and reads more like a synopsis than a query. But I have to add, I would love to read this book! It sounds like a great story. Best of luck!