Apr 19, 2010

Query: FOCUS, SAM

Dear Agent:

When Sameer Sathe, an eternal escapist, is told by a mystic that the reason he has an accident every year is a curse which can only be lifted by a woman he fell for, he begins his frantic quest to trace every single woman he at some point in life considered his soul-mate, and Sameer has just one year to do so, because his next accident could well be his last.

Sameer has a problem from childhood - his recurring accidents. At least one of his limbs was useless for a large part of the year and that made him a soft target in the school. Kids in similar situations almost always become miserable outcasts, but Sameer embraced his pariah status and is very proud of it. When a mystic tells him after his twenty fifth accident that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next accident, Sameer believes his inconsequential life will surely end. However, there is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. A woman, the sage says, Sameer has to find within a year.

One thing Sameer is extremely good at is staying below the radar. Get average grades, have no ambition, attach yourself to nothing and no one. The only thing he loves is books and believes his redemption is in literature. Now, Sameer has to confront his past in the most agonizing way – convincing all the women he fell for to allow him to intrude their lives for two weeks. The problem is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.

Sameer begins his quest, starting with the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know who Hemmingway is), he reconnects with all of them. After living with every woman, he realizes that he affected their lives profoundly and in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks to perhaps undo the damage he caused. Every woman reveals secrets about Sameer making him realize what the most important things in life are.

Is Sameer able to rid himself of the curse?

My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.

Would you like to see the sample chapters?

Kind regards,
Rohit Gore

4 comments:

folksinmt said...

This isn't a genre I'm normally interested in, but I just had to comment when I read that first sentence, which consumes an entire paragraph. Holy moly, come up for air! I really think your leading sentence should be "when a mystic tells him after his twenty fifth", but I do think you could lead it with something like "he always thought he was clumsy until a mystic tells him..."

I think the part about him searching through all the women he's met for his soul mate is interesting, but that info gets lost. There is just too many details here. It seems like the time line jumps back and forth, as do the tenses. Start with the conflict and don't go back into all his mishaps and how he's stayed under radar. Just do conflict and the search for the solution. I like the line about not many women falling in love with him.
Good luck!

Jesilea said...

That first sentence is really tough to read. Don't try to cram your entire book into the whole thing.

I think you can do some serious cutting throughout the whole letter. You have an interesting idea here, but it gets lost in the query. Start by eliminating the repetitive details. You say at least three times that he must find a woman he "fell for" and a few more times you mention falling in love. Start with the fortune and focus the rest of the letter on his quest.

Rohit Gore said...

many thanks, folksinmt and Jeslia!
I will be posting version 2 very soon. This query was written more to test wasters, t know if the idea sounds okay or not. The Public Query Slushpile helped me a lot with my last query and many thanks, Rick for posting my query here :-)

gj said...

The idea's fun, but the first three paragraphs all essentialy say the same thing. Pick one of them and cut the other two.