Apr 1, 2010

Query- To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly

In a parallel world, four coma patients battle for a rainbow butterfly in order to wake up and return to their loved ones in To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly, a contemporary fantasy at 80,000 words.

Three days. Four competitors. One butterfly. One winner. The odds are stacked against 20-year-old Molly Weaver. But despite years of cruelty and neglect, Molly’s determination to find happiness and purpose in life is strong. Open doors lead her to new places while closed doors are off limits. Treacherous weather, dehydration, and tragic memories threaten her. Some of the competitors are willing to kill for the butterfly, putting Molly’s life in further jeopardy. Sharpay Wang, who believes she’s trapped in a hallucination, is the only one eager to help Molly. As time runs short, Molly bonds with her contenders and discovers a connection that ties them together in the real world. Will her feelings get in the way of catching the butterfly or will she figure out a way to save everyone?

In addition to writing novels, I am a playwright. My one-act play, Walking Off Pluto, premiered at the Laurel Mill Playhouse and went on to compete in the Maryland One Act Festival. My full-length play, Samson and Ms. Delilah, was recently selected for the Essential Theatre Playwriting Series. As a writer, it is my ultimate goal to entertain my audience while teaching valuable lessons about life and what it means to be human.

To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly is ready to be sent at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

3 comments:

SJDuvall said...

Nice, precise query. I would leave out the line "As a writer, it is my ultimate goal to entertain my audience while teaching valuable lessons about life and what it means to be human." But besides that, looks good to me.

Emily J said...

In paragraph 2 I would write out 20. The sentence "Open doors lead her to new places while closed doors are off limits." didn't work for me. It seems like stating the obvious, and is really too vague. Weather seems like a weird concern in a comma. What is the connection between the coma patients? You don't really want to keep secrets secret in a query. And perhaps not end with a question.

In paragraph 3 I agree with SJDuvall about dropping the sentence "As a writer..."

In paragraph 4 I would also drop the first sentence. I think it can be safely assumed you are ready to send the manuscript or you wouldn't (shouldn't) be querying.

Also, I have heard it is proper query-format to capitalize the title of the novel.

Otherwise I think this gives a good sense of what the novel is about and it seems to flow nicely. It sounds like a really intriguing idea.

N. Blank said...

Thanks for the advice!

The open/closed door thing is too hard to explain in a query so I think I'm just going to cut it.