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Some animals seem to have a much harder time of life. These few special animals aren't unintelligent or unlucky. They endure these trails and tribulations as if in a crucible, making them fit for a special kind of destiny. Silver Squirrel is one such animal.
Crucible of Silver is a coming of age story for older m/g and up, completed at 73,000 words.
As a fire burns a forest, and flame sets mountains ablaze, Silver Squirrel learns to survive his first year in a world that is in chaos around him.
Fear of the cataclysmic chestnut blight leads squirrel leaders to destroy their own forest, leaving Silver homeless. Repercussions of the fire – starvation, predation and more – bring the animals to ruin.
Through it all, Silver tries to find friendship with crows, a relationship with a female squirrel, and a sense of who he is. Everything always seems to be against him – the community, a hawk, and even spring fever, but these problems cause him to learn and grow.
Silver dreams of a day when he can be at a piece with a mate by his side, far from the heartaches of daily life, but Silver is at last caught by the hawk, and all seems lost. Her plan will pit him against his own kind to redeem the most fearsome predator the skies have known. Still, his experience with the birds may help him survive this most terrible trial yet.
I have been published in several trade publications including Keyframe Magazine. I studied screen writing, and have completed three novels. I worked in film (Star Trek, Spiderman 2) and animation (Roughnecks, Dan Dare, Mystic Knights), and published software and documentation for the animation industry for a number of years before finishing my books.
The book has been professionally story edited along with the two completed sequels, Silver Squirrel in Uneasy Pieces, and Silver Squirrel and The Court of Animals. There are occasional allusions to the Bible, similar to the Narnia books, but its not preachy. It’s intended the be good clean fun. The Newbery winning Mrs. Frizby and the Rats of NIMH was a huge influence as well.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
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6 comments:
I loved Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH. This also reminds me of Watership Down.
I think the query needs focus, though. Right now it's more of a synopsis.
TYPO: 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence, trails should be trials. Be careful with this, because crucible means trial (at least in this context), so you're being redundant.
I think you can strengthen the hook. When you say some animals, do you mean some species, or individual animals of varying species? You're abstract when you need to be specific to your story.
Strip the description down to Silver's main fight. Fires, hunger, crows, other squirrels, hawks...It's fine to have a lot of action and drama in the plot, but focus on the main challenge, and what it means to Silver.
What's your one-sentence pitch?
I think at the time I started writing this, I really hated formula stories (aka high concept) kind of leaving me with a story that defies the one sentence log line. Even my opening sentence right now is just a fancy way of saying "a lot of bad things happen" Even the title is a reflection of that.
So, somebody help me here.
Sure, there's a love story. There's the thing between him and the crows. There's also the thing with the hawk.
The main thing to me in the story, is that Silver grows. The pivotal moment in the story is when he realizes in the beginning of the 3'rd act, that everything he has tried has failed, and whether he lives or dies, that there's only one thing he can do, and that is to forgive the ones who destroyed his home. Everything after that is action and wrapping up of all the story pieces.
What's at stake if Silver doesn't grow? A life of loneliness, perhaps, or the realization that living with hate in your heart only adds to the pain?
Give us more of his character, what does he start as and what does he change into. The change is the heart of the story. The events in the plot are merely catalysts for that change.
It's tough for me to speculate without having read the book, so take my suggestions with a grain of salt...
please don't stop with the comments on what I already have, but here's something I'm trying out as well. It's a work in progress. I'm sure they'll say it's "preechy"
“God!” he cried out. “I want to live! I said I was willing to face death, but you’ve shown me to be a coward. I want to be proud but you make me ashamed. I’m angry, but you would make me forgive. I tried to live by faith, but now I fear I will die.”
Silver squirrel has come to the end. He’s faced disaster, cold and predators, and all because the squirrel leaders burned his home. Now, all he can do, is forgive them.
He’s come a long way from a humble beginning under a stump. He was immature and egocentric. Now, he’s just ruined, but at least through it all, he’s learned to forgive. If he survives, perhaps he’ll be ready for a special kind of destiny.
Crucible of Silver is a coming of age story for older m/g and up, completed at 70,000 words, and the first book of a completed trilogy.
I think this is about my thousandth try but here's yet another shot at it. I realized i needed to start with "Silver Squirrel"
Silver squirrel has come to the end. “God!” he cried out. “I want to live! I said I was willing to face death, but you’ve shown me to be a coward. I want to be proud but you make me ashamed. I’m angry, but you would make me forgive. I tried to live by faith, but now I fear I will die.”
Silver’s faced disaster, bitter cold and predators, and all because the squirrel leaders burned down his home because of some long forgotten blight. Now, all he can do, is forgive them.
He’s come a long way from his simple beginnings under a stump. He was immature and egocentric back then. Now, he’s just ruined, but he’s learned how to forgive and how to love. It was a refining fire, of sorts. If he survives, perhaps he’ll yet be ready for a special kind of destiny.
Crucible of Silver is a coming of age story for older m/g and up, completed at 70,000 words.
whoops. Should say "peace" and not "a piece"
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