Jun 5, 2010

Query- The Spinner's Wheel (revised)

Click here to read the original query and sample pages.

Dear Agent,

When Valerius Anaxandros time travels from his home on the Planet Elledra to Earth he faces espionage, intrigue and surprise attacks. As Elledra’s chosen Time Rider it’s just part of his job description.

The Watchers, a group of men and women on Earth who think that time travel is an abomination, are always willing to help him into the next life, but Valerius’s most recent encounter is not with one of the Watchers, but with a scarred face man who knows what he is.

Valerius’s problems don’t end there. His niece, fifteen year old Sara Gallager, a genetically gifted time traveler, needs to be relocated from her home in the United States to Elledra to be trained. Valerius finds himself overseeing her training while dealing with Crassius Atrapes, the man he met earlier, who turns out to be a rogue time traveler from 40B.C. who wants to wrest control of Rome from Julius Caesar and rule as Emperor.

When Crassius goes back in time to recruit two of Earths great warriors, Hannibal of Carthage from 207 B.C and Cassivellaunus of Britannia from 50 B.C, Valerius must act to preserve the true history of Earth which he is sworn to protect.

If he doesn’t succeed, Earth as we know it will be changed forever.

The Spinner’s Wheel, is a Fantasy/Science Fiction novel complete at 75,000 words.

Thanks for taking the time to consider my submission.

I look forward to hearing from you,



Dan Ritchie said...

I'm having trouble keeping track of all the details here. It doesn't help that from the get-go, I'm trust onto another planet. Is there anything that can be done to bring it closer to home a bit?
Time travel is generally fun. Scifi is fun too. Scifi and time travel even go together, but we're starting from ground zero and we know nothing about this world and its people. We don't have time to get to know them. So, eliminating unimportant details and expounding on things we can relate to would be helpful. Don't throw it all out, just fine tune.

Dan Ritchie said...

OK, so obvious question. What's a time rider? Since he's the "chosen" one, is he the only one?
What doesn't seem to be important in the query are the watchers, or the scar faced man since they don't seem to do anything.
What seems more important, is the relationship with this girl as he takes her from earth to another planet and under his wing.
Also the man from 40 b.c. seems to be the main antagonist, which is very significant.