Oct 15, 2010

Amish, Vamps & Thieves

Dear Agent Person:

Anne Levy still considers herself Amish though she’s a vampire. When her brother, Thomas, pleads for her help with the thing mutilating the local farmers’ livestock, she goes home to Millersburg, Ohio, for the first time in over sixty years. But even she’s stumped. Neither the developers after the prime land or the werecoyotes spotted in the area have glowing red eyes or leaves weird tri-cornered bite marks. And it doesn’t help when Thomas’s well-meaning lawyer interferes with her investigation.

When attorney Colin Fitzgerald fled Philadelphia after accident that killed his brother and crippled his nephew, he thought he’d found peace in Millersburg, Ohio. But a simple land battle turns deadly when someone starts killing his Amish clients, not just their animals. Then there’s the mysterious woman he sees roaming Thomas Levy’s property at night. Hoping to catch the culprit behind the murders, Colin follows her one evening and saves her from a demonic creature. But who’s going to save him from the Amish cutie with fangs?

Amish, Vamps & Thieves is a 75,000-word paranormal romance.


Anonymous Author said...

Speaking of fangs, the word "crippled" has them. Please consider the following alternatives:


or describing the exact injury, eg "paralyzed".

Angela said...

If this is a romance novel, I think you need to focus on the romance. I'm guessing the mutilation of the livestock is the backstory that brings the lovers together. It's not the main plot, so cut it way back. I'm hoping Anne is a sexually repressed Amish vampier. And she has been trying to be good all these years. But once her eyes lay on Colin, she can't control her desire to have him.

Also you don't need Colin's backstory. Show us what makes him so tempting to Anne. And what the conflict between them is. I hope this helps.