Oct 16, 2010


Dear Agent,

Dogs and cats were never meant to be friends, but that didn't stop Squirt and Aubie. They didn't know, nor did they care. Squirt is a coal-black, wild haired puppy and Aubie, is an orange-and-white c-a-t. They are best friends and out to enjoy their world.

In this volume, Squirt and Aubie join together with Taylor, their twelve-year-old caretaker, who just happens to be a ballerina, for the twirl of a lifetime. With matching tutus, they spin round and round, twirling and leaping just like professional ballerinas. As the music is ending, they nail their last pose and the audience is up applauding for more.

In rhymed couplets, SQUIRT is complete at 409-words, targeting an audience of 2- through 9- year olds. Although this is my first picture book manuscript, I am a member of SCBWI. My inspiration comes straight out of the texture of my life as a kindergarten teacher, owner of my own business, and mother of a ballerina.

This and three other SQUIRT stories are fully finished, while the fifth is nearing completion. Per your instructions I am including (Whatever they ask). This is a simultaneous submission. Thank you for your time and consideration.


This is my manuscript. I didn't double space due to length here but I will when I submit. Thank you in advance for all your help.


My name is Squirt. I’m as black as night,
With long wavy hair that shoots left and right.

My eyes are brown and my tongue is pink,
With a small black dot that’s kinda cute, I think.

My best friend is Aubie. He isn’t like me.
Orange and white striped, and spelled C-A-T.

He’s very bouncy, even sneaky at times,
With eyes that are green, a pretty green, almost lime.

We are a very odd couple, everyone agrees,
But we’re exactly the same size, and love macaroni and cheese.

Aubie and I, we love to play.
We play outside almost everyday.

We run and jump, roll and twirl.
We hop and skip, tumble and whirl.

In the afternoon, when Taylor’s work is done,
She walks us around the block. Oh, what fun!

Taylor is my mommy. She’ll be twelve soon.
She feeds me, loves me and reads me cartoons.

Her favorite is ballet. I love it too.
What do you think of our matching tutus?

All dressed up, we perform a show.
Round and round, like ballerinas, on their toes.

Our bodies very straight, toes pointed to the side,
Our arms out in front and remember, now glide.

We move left and right, across the stage we go,
We try to look graceful, all together in a row.

Twirling and leaping, on our feet and then our toes,
And as the music slows down, we do our last pose.

The shows over now, we bow, and then smile,
The audience is standing up, applauding, in the aisles.

Our family brings us flowers, isn’t that sweet?
A treat, for us being so light on our feet.

Now what to do, any thoughts in mind?
What games do you like? What’s your favorite kind?

We love to play dolls, to skate and ride bikes,
Playing with trucks, reading books and going on hikes.

There’s so much to do, the days are so short,
I guess we’ll have to wait, no time to build a fort.

It’s getting dark outside, and night time is coming,
All of a sudden my tummy is rumbling.

Supper time is here! We love to eat.
We clean our plate, so we can get a treat.

After we’ve eaten, its time to go to bed,
But all of today’s fun is swimming in my head.

I can’t wait till tomorrow. What will we do?
Will we play chase and swim, or maybe go to the zoo?

1 comment:

Anonymous Author said...

Okay, a few things.

First, rhyming stories need both rhythm and rhyme to succeed. You've got rhyme, but the meter is off in all but one of your couplets. You also want to avoid anything that looks like a stretch for a rhyme, as in your first couplet.

Second, ages two to nine is a helluva stretch. I'm guessing a ballet dancing cat and dog might hit around ages four to six. (And to that age group, a girl of eleven is practically an adult.)

Third, picture books are an extremely tight market right now. The question you want to ask yourself is "How is this picture book different from all other picture books?" And if it's not, then you'll need to revise till it is, or write one that is.

Fourth, I wouldn't mention the other three books. Sequels come after the first book achieves megastardom, as in Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus.

Hope this helps.