Feb 1, 2011

QUERY - BOND OF DARKNESS

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Behind the disguise of a murderer seeking redemption, Valence fears his future. He is a pawn in a game bringing forward the return of the Darkness, an ancient infection of destructive intent.

When he crosses blades with an assassin proclaiming the Darkness's return, Valence's destiny is revealed. On the day he murdered a friend, he bore a legacy not meant for him -- a legacy connected to an evil and magic far before his time.

But one choice can change you, and for Valence, it means discovering how to suppress the infection and cure his own guilt.

BOND OF DARKNESS is an epic fantasy, complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

J.W. Parente
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1 comment:

Tabitha Bird said...

Your first sentence doesn't tell us much. You have a murderer pretending he wants redemption and he fears his future. I would think most murderers think like this and would fear their future. MOST books about murderers could be summed up like this. SO what is DIFFERENT about your story? What specifically is the unique thing about your book?
To me that seems to be that Valence has some sort of legacy not meant for him. Tell us about that.

What is the one choice and how will that up the stakes for your MC? in other words WHAT is at stake for your MC should he not solve the conflict in your book? And while I am talking about conflict, what specially is the conflict in your book? I get that there is some sort of battle to bring forward Darkness (which is vague and confusing btw) but what will happen if Valence cannot stop the Darkness or suppress the infection or cure his own guilt?

All the best with this. I think you have a really interesting story, I just don't get a sense of what that is here.

This query is just too vague. It raises questions alright, but all the wrong ones. I am confused when I read it and that is not what you want in a query.

February 5, 2011 at 12:57 AM

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