Apr 17, 2009


Dear Ms. Agent:

Violet Young is eager to spend a week without parental authority. When her parents leave for their cruise, she is positive that her plans of hanging out with friends, attending rock concerts, and attaining sun-kissed perfection will end her summer off flawlessly. However, her plans come to a smashing halt on her very first day of freedom, thanks to a life-altering car accident.

Strangers find Violet lying on the side of the road and rescue her. When she awakens from death’s grasp, she is frightened and alone, trapped in a fortress. As she tries every means of escape, James—too cute to be a psychotic kidnapper—enters the picture. He reveals a bevy of problems: she is now an unwilling member of his undead colony, blood is her only gruesome sustenance, and she must abandon her heart-beating biological family to prevent herself from the temptation of “dinnertime”.

Violet battles her conflicted emotions of transitioning into a vampire (who wants to drink blood for eternity? Ew!), her growing attraction for James, and the severed ties from her family. Once things begin to feel semi-normal (as normal as it could be for an undead teenager), skeletons from the past find her and her colony, unleashing a fatal vampire plague. Violet must defend herself from disloyal vampires, vengeful witches, and a mysterious prepubescent soul-sucker. It is up to Violet to save not only her own soul, but also stop the destruction of those she cherishes most dearly.

I have researched your agency through ___________ and found that your company is currently seeking paranormal fiction. My first novel in a supernatural series, LIFE AFTER DEATH, is complete at 114,000 words. I have spent the last six years teaching Language Arts to middle-grade students.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.



lucy in the sky said...

"...end her summer off flawlessly" sounds a bit awkward. Maybe you could say "... will bring her summer to a flawless finish." Or something like that.

"skeletons from the past" - are they actual skeletons? I don't know if there's a good way to answer that in the actual query, but it made me curious.

Anonymous said...

The ms is too long for a YA or middle grade.

The query needs a great deal of tightening.