Dear *****,
Everyone believes in the Creator. Everyone, that is, except Cara.
Cara, a rebellious and stubborn thirteen year old, has recently decided that there is no Creator. Her beliefs, however, are considered high treason and grounds for exile in her small town. Desperate to protect his daughter, the High Priest of the village assigns an apprentice priest to babysit his daughter and help to recover her faith.
Needless to say, Cara isn’t pleased. But her anger is quickly forgotten when foretold signs of a coming apocalypse, the Dukebarr, begin to appear. Cara finds herself questioning her beliefs in the face of these events as her society begins to crumble around her. Will her faith, or lack of it, be able to prevent the destruction of her village?
COMING OF THE DUKEBARR is a completed 40,000 word fantasy for middle grade readers. I have one published short story in Byline Magazine.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
****
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 1, 2012
QUERY-His Muse(Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear [Editor],
Coralie Boisson has one night in Arles to sign a deal with the handsome, and possibly mad, artist Jonah Struik. It’s her big chance to finally prove to her father that she is just as good of an art dealer as the men at their Paris art house. The fact that Jonah is the biggest rival of the secret lover that spurned her only sweetens the deal.
Jonah Struik, who abandoned the fashionable society of Victorian Paris after his fiancée jilted him, only agreed to deal with Boisson & Cie. in order to pay back his debts. When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker the sale, he knows that his former employer must be playing games with him. Only a strange feeling that he knows Coralie from somewhere other than the art world keeps Jonah from walking out of their meeting.
Jonah soon realizes that Coralie is not the silly or manipulative dilettante he thought she was. And Coralie realizes that Jonah isn’t the madman the art world has labeled him as. The two come to find that they might just be the cure to each other’s loneliness.
HIS MUSE is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Dear [Editor],
Coralie Boisson has one night in Arles to sign a deal with the handsome, and possibly mad, artist Jonah Struik. It’s her big chance to finally prove to her father that she is just as good of an art dealer as the men at their Paris art house. The fact that Jonah is the biggest rival of the secret lover that spurned her only sweetens the deal.
Jonah Struik, who abandoned the fashionable society of Victorian Paris after his fiancée jilted him, only agreed to deal with Boisson & Cie. in order to pay back his debts. When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker the sale, he knows that his former employer must be playing games with him. Only a strange feeling that he knows Coralie from somewhere other than the art world keeps Jonah from walking out of their meeting.
Jonah soon realizes that Coralie is not the silly or manipulative dilettante he thought she was. And Coralie realizes that Jonah isn’t the madman the art world has labeled him as. The two come to find that they might just be the cure to each other’s loneliness.
HIS MUSE is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Dec 31, 2011
QUERY- HIS MUSE
Dear [Editor],
Acquiring the work of Jonah Struik is Coralie Boisson's big chance to prove to the other art dealers at Boisson & Cie. that she is just as good at the job as any man, if not better. But more than that, Coralie can't wait to help her former lover's biggest rival steal the spotlight of the Parisian art world.
When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker a deal, he knows that the meeting must be a joke. But there is a familiarity about Coralie that keeps Jonah from walking out. He senses he knows her, but how?
Can the two begin to trust each other with their sordid pasts or will it end up another lonely night in Arles for the both of them?
His Muse is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Acquiring the work of Jonah Struik is Coralie Boisson's big chance to prove to the other art dealers at Boisson & Cie. that she is just as good at the job as any man, if not better. But more than that, Coralie can't wait to help her former lover's biggest rival steal the spotlight of the Parisian art world.
When Jonah finds out that Denis Boisson has sent his daughter to broker a deal, he knows that the meeting must be a joke. But there is a familiarity about Coralie that keeps Jonah from walking out. He senses he knows her, but how?
Can the two begin to trust each other with their sordid pasts or will it end up another lonely night in Arles for the both of them?
His Muse is a historical romance novella complete at 12,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
[Redacted]
Dec 15, 2011
Query- White Trash Beautiful (Original)
Dear [Agent name],
Trey Aston has stolen from the mob.
Desperate to save her life, she begs her father for help, and agrees to sell her body as repayment. Every penny she earns goes into making up for his sacrifice, but when Trey discovers he hasn’t been making the payments, she’s forced to turn to the one man she hoped never to see again.
As a deputy of the Parkvista Police Department, Luke Johnson refuses to acknowledge his high school sweetheart is a prostitute and is determined to make Trey see it for herself. That is, until she starts treating him as a client. His faith in his ability to know right from wrong is challenged and he isn’t the only one who’s noticed. His brothers on the force don’t have his back where Trey is concerned, leaving him to fight against them for a criminal.
The Family is out to make her pay, her father’s drunken rages are getting worse, and the town is cracking down on prostitution, but what really has Trey on edge is the fact she’s falling for the deputy who wants her behind bars.
WHITE TRASH BEAUTIFUL is a romantic suspense short story complete at 17,000 words.
[Pub creds, etc]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Trey Aston has stolen from the mob.
Desperate to save her life, she begs her father for help, and agrees to sell her body as repayment. Every penny she earns goes into making up for his sacrifice, but when Trey discovers he hasn’t been making the payments, she’s forced to turn to the one man she hoped never to see again.
As a deputy of the Parkvista Police Department, Luke Johnson refuses to acknowledge his high school sweetheart is a prostitute and is determined to make Trey see it for herself. That is, until she starts treating him as a client. His faith in his ability to know right from wrong is challenged and he isn’t the only one who’s noticed. His brothers on the force don’t have his back where Trey is concerned, leaving him to fight against them for a criminal.
The Family is out to make her pay, her father’s drunken rages are getting worse, and the town is cracking down on prostitution, but what really has Trey on edge is the fact she’s falling for the deputy who wants her behind bars.
WHITE TRASH BEAUTIFUL is a romantic suspense short story complete at 17,000 words.
[Pub creds, etc]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Dec 14, 2011
Query - Merm-8
Gene has managed to make the most out of life at sea--salvage, smuggling, and the occasional crab shipment. Despite his incredible debt to the Black Lagoon mafia and the tricks his AI assistant plays on him, things are good. Until he finds a mermaid stuck in his exhaust pipe.
But this is not a world of magic and dragons. The Earth is almost completely covered with water. Most of the population has been driven out to corporate-owned Seaplexes--giant, spherical atolls that combine malls, mines, and shantytowns. But this appears to be a genuine half-woman, half-fish.
Gene brings the mermaid to a scientist friend on one of these stations. He studies her while Gene tries to secure his next job. As they decipher this affectionate girl's origins, complications arise when she is discovered by the seaplex's populace. More complications arise when Gene's land-born status earns him the ire of the station's riff-raff. Even more complications arise when rumors of sinking ships start to emerge.
Gene discovers more about the mermaid and has to reconcile his feelings for this non-human. He must return her to her home. But her home is something he never expected.
But this is not a world of magic and dragons. The Earth is almost completely covered with water. Most of the population has been driven out to corporate-owned Seaplexes--giant, spherical atolls that combine malls, mines, and shantytowns. But this appears to be a genuine half-woman, half-fish.
Gene brings the mermaid to a scientist friend on one of these stations. He studies her while Gene tries to secure his next job. As they decipher this affectionate girl's origins, complications arise when she is discovered by the seaplex's populace. More complications arise when Gene's land-born status earns him the ire of the station's riff-raff. Even more complications arise when rumors of sinking ships start to emerge.
Gene discovers more about the mermaid and has to reconcile his feelings for this non-human. He must return her to her home. But her home is something he never expected.
Dec 6, 2011
Query - CHILDREN OF THE RED SAND
Sometimes, Anthe wakes up covered in blood, wandering the desert alone. But no one from her tribe worries about the scout. It’s all the work of demons and outside their interest. They have something more important to worry about.
They are the watchers for the land, bound since before history to keep watch on the massive sandstorm that surrounds the desert land. It’s known only as the Wall. Legends say that it has moved before cleansing the land of any life. And it is set to move again. The first sign has been seen.
As part of the two person scouting team who discovers the discoloring of the Wall, Anthe is sent to warn Center and the leaders of the land so that they have enough time to gather everyone and get ready to move on the next Passage. But it has been so long that legend has become myth and tales to frighten children. Even Anthe has trouble accepting what she saw.
But she accepts, only wanting to get it over with and return to her quiet desert life of sand and demons. Dnoces, her scouting partner, relishes the chance to claim his own place in history.
Now they need a way to convince the populace of the land and save everyone’s lives, as well as help Anthe control her demons before they control her…
CHILDREN OF THE RED SAND is a 126,000 word Sci-Fi manuscript.
They are the watchers for the land, bound since before history to keep watch on the massive sandstorm that surrounds the desert land. It’s known only as the Wall. Legends say that it has moved before cleansing the land of any life. And it is set to move again. The first sign has been seen.
As part of the two person scouting team who discovers the discoloring of the Wall, Anthe is sent to warn Center and the leaders of the land so that they have enough time to gather everyone and get ready to move on the next Passage. But it has been so long that legend has become myth and tales to frighten children. Even Anthe has trouble accepting what she saw.
But she accepts, only wanting to get it over with and return to her quiet desert life of sand and demons. Dnoces, her scouting partner, relishes the chance to claim his own place in history.
Now they need a way to convince the populace of the land and save everyone’s lives, as well as help Anthe control her demons before they control her…
CHILDREN OF THE RED SAND is a 126,000 word Sci-Fi manuscript.
Oct 25, 2011
Query: Possessed
Dear Agent,
Julia knew something was wrong when she woke up in a haunted forest, but she never would have guessed that her life as an eighteenth century novelist was a lie.
When Julia and two other volunteers - Caleb and Gabriel - awaken prematurely in a research laboratory, the scientists want them dead.
Barely escaping, Julia and her new friends fight to stay alive in post bombed Dallas while coming to terms with their disturbing pasts, which was why they decided to do the psychological study in the first place.
But angry scientists and a psycho stalker are the least of their worries. There are much more powerful beings after them. Physically helpless after a serious accident, Julia, Gabriel, and Caleb are brought by their demoniac pursuers into the supernatural realm. And this time, there is no way out.
Possessed is a supernatural thriller that is 60,000 words long.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Julia knew something was wrong when she woke up in a haunted forest, but she never would have guessed that her life as an eighteenth century novelist was a lie.
When Julia and two other volunteers - Caleb and Gabriel - awaken prematurely in a research laboratory, the scientists want them dead.
Barely escaping, Julia and her new friends fight to stay alive in post bombed Dallas while coming to terms with their disturbing pasts, which was why they decided to do the psychological study in the first place.
But angry scientists and a psycho stalker are the least of their worries. There are much more powerful beings after them. Physically helpless after a serious accident, Julia, Gabriel, and Caleb are brought by their demoniac pursuers into the supernatural realm. And this time, there is no way out.
Possessed is a supernatural thriller that is 60,000 words long.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
QUERY: Amelia's Monsters
*Note* I posted this a long time ago on this site, but I am re-posting this to see how it has held up before I finally submit it.
Dear Agent,
Since she was twelve, Amelia’s nights have been plagued with visits from monsters. Each night they would terrorize her through the darkness of her closet, calling her Amelie and telling her that they’ve been waiting for her. No matter how many times she turned them away, they would return, bringing with them the terrors of the night. And they followed her no matter where she went.
Now fourteen, Amelia is getting a fresh start in a brand new home in a gated community. Sadly, not even the gates can protect Amelia from her deepest fears. When her cousin Lily comes to visit, the monsters return and steal Lily in the night. With Lily’s life in danger, Amelia must face her fears and enter the monsters’ world to rescue her cousin. But with each step into their world, Amelia discovers a tangled past that connects her to their world and the one they call Amelie.
Dear Agent,
Since she was twelve, Amelia’s nights have been plagued with visits from monsters. Each night they would terrorize her through the darkness of her closet, calling her Amelie and telling her that they’ve been waiting for her. No matter how many times she turned them away, they would return, bringing with them the terrors of the night. And they followed her no matter where she went.
Now fourteen, Amelia is getting a fresh start in a brand new home in a gated community. Sadly, not even the gates can protect Amelia from her deepest fears. When her cousin Lily comes to visit, the monsters return and steal Lily in the night. With Lily’s life in danger, Amelia must face her fears and enter the monsters’ world to rescue her cousin. But with each step into their world, Amelia discovers a tangled past that connects her to their world and the one they call Amelie.
Oct 11, 2011
QUERY- MAD AS A HATTER
Click here for prior queries.
Dear Fabulous Agent,
London, 1882.
Seven years ago, Emil Aleric and his sister were kidnapped by a man who called himself the Hatter. Emil survived. His sister didn't. So when he hears news of a serial killer ravaging London and leaving a note quoting Alice in Wonderland at each murder scene, Emil is convinced that his former abductor is on the prowl again. And when his young guardian, Officer Corwin James, is put in charge of the case, he thinks it must be fate.
Corwin's not too keen on Emil having anything to do with the case, but Emil's extensive knowledge of the murderer's methods is too invaluable to waste. Yet as they piece their way closer to tracking down the serial killer, seven years of buried feelings threaten to consume him. Emil must fight for his life once again- but this time, his life isn't the only thing that's at stake. If he fails, he risks his family, his world, and maybe time itself falling into hell.
If he succeeds in finding Hatter, well... he'll be in hell already.
Complete at 51,000 words, MAD AS A HATTER is a YA thriller. I am a student living in the Cayman Islands. I have never been kidnapped by a serial killer and intend to keep things that way. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Fabulous Agent,
London, 1882.
Seven years ago, Emil Aleric and his sister were kidnapped by a man who called himself the Hatter. Emil survived. His sister didn't. So when he hears news of a serial killer ravaging London and leaving a note quoting Alice in Wonderland at each murder scene, Emil is convinced that his former abductor is on the prowl again. And when his young guardian, Officer Corwin James, is put in charge of the case, he thinks it must be fate.
Corwin's not too keen on Emil having anything to do with the case, but Emil's extensive knowledge of the murderer's methods is too invaluable to waste. Yet as they piece their way closer to tracking down the serial killer, seven years of buried feelings threaten to consume him. Emil must fight for his life once again- but this time, his life isn't the only thing that's at stake. If he fails, he risks his family, his world, and maybe time itself falling into hell.
If he succeeds in finding Hatter, well... he'll be in hell already.
Complete at 51,000 words, MAD AS A HATTER is a YA thriller. I am a student living in the Cayman Islands. I have never been kidnapped by a serial killer and intend to keep things that way. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Me
Oct 3, 2011
Query: The Ash Plague (round two)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent,
Assistant to the Royal Advisor, Adalmund Port returned home to Norwyn from her first job with an arrow in her shoulder and a murdered princess in her arms.
A war veteran at seventeen, Adalmund was sent to advise her country’s princess during a routine, perfectly safe peace treaty signing. Needless to say, it didn’t go as planned.
Sent back to Amleth, the country that murdered her princess, Adalmund is tasked with finding the man who ordered the attack and killing him. It’s an old law between the nations—the life of a noble for another noble life—but it doesn’t take into account the revolution brewing in Amelth. Adalmund didn’t take it into account either.
Peace is rising in Amelth. Peace, a masked man with the same magical powers as Adalmund and a desire for sweeping, if misguided, social change, is leading the revolution against the Amleth Royal Court. He also knows which Amelth prince was in charge of the military unit that murdered the Norwyn princess.
Peace wants Adalmund’s help.
Adalmund wants Peace’s information.
She also wants nothing to do with him, but Norwyn’s Royal Court strikes a deal with Peace: Adalmund’s unlimited help in exchange for a magically binding agreement that he’ll never declare war on Norwyn.
Adalmund will do anything to save her country. She’s been to war, she’s been an assassin, and she’s sacrificed her arm to save the princess.
But asking her to work with Peace might be too much.
THE ASH PLAGUE is a young adult fantasy novel of 75,000 words with series potential.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Queried
Dear Agent,
Assistant to the Royal Advisor, Adalmund Port returned home to Norwyn from her first job with an arrow in her shoulder and a murdered princess in her arms.
A war veteran at seventeen, Adalmund was sent to advise her country’s princess during a routine, perfectly safe peace treaty signing. Needless to say, it didn’t go as planned.
Sent back to Amleth, the country that murdered her princess, Adalmund is tasked with finding the man who ordered the attack and killing him. It’s an old law between the nations—the life of a noble for another noble life—but it doesn’t take into account the revolution brewing in Amelth. Adalmund didn’t take it into account either.
Peace is rising in Amelth. Peace, a masked man with the same magical powers as Adalmund and a desire for sweeping, if misguided, social change, is leading the revolution against the Amleth Royal Court. He also knows which Amelth prince was in charge of the military unit that murdered the Norwyn princess.
Peace wants Adalmund’s help.
Adalmund wants Peace’s information.
She also wants nothing to do with him, but Norwyn’s Royal Court strikes a deal with Peace: Adalmund’s unlimited help in exchange for a magically binding agreement that he’ll never declare war on Norwyn.
Adalmund will do anything to save her country. She’s been to war, she’s been an assassin, and she’s sacrificed her arm to save the princess.
But asking her to work with Peace might be too much.
THE ASH PLAGUE is a young adult fantasy novel of 75,000 words with series potential.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Queried
Sep 30, 2011
QUERY - EPIC FANTASY NOVEL - 3rd Go
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Had Rune Greyhawk not been digging for dragon eggs on the shore that day, perhaps his father would still be alive and New Athens saved—perhaps he would have never become an adversary to a god.
Fifteen-year old Rune was born a prince, but as the second son with no experience or clout, his station was a powerless one. Not to mention his penchant for delinquency. Because of this, he has no choice but to study abroad in the kingdom of Stone Realm on Marina's mainland. But lately he's been having a lot of strange dreams—and after his sister gives him a simple-looking stone she swears is important enough to take with him, he starts to wonder if there is a more ominous reason behind his relocation.
Now, in a time when humans have taken over the domain of gods and tamed the wildest of dragons as beasts of war, he is finding out that things are not as they seem: whether by fate or fortune, Rune is somehow tied to the thousand-year old mystery of the Arke of Aerimore, and the lost magi-ka of heaven that prophets say will be released again. Once Edome's ruthless emperor finds the ark and many nations, including Marina, join his plot to destroy New Athens, Rune has no choice but to find a way to stop the prophecy from happening. And it seems that the stone in his possession may hold the answer. Together, with the aid of his companions, he will have to uncover the mystery and just what it is that connects him to it. Even at the expense of his life and all he loves—before the rekindled flame of Aerimore destroys the world.
This is the story of man’s final stand against man—his final stand against gods.
Click here to read the first revision.
Had Rune Greyhawk not been digging for dragon eggs on the shore that day, perhaps his father would still be alive and New Athens saved—perhaps he would have never become an adversary to a god.
Fifteen-year old Rune was born a prince, but as the second son with no experience or clout, his station was a powerless one. Not to mention his penchant for delinquency. Because of this, he has no choice but to study abroad in the kingdom of Stone Realm on Marina's mainland. But lately he's been having a lot of strange dreams—and after his sister gives him a simple-looking stone she swears is important enough to take with him, he starts to wonder if there is a more ominous reason behind his relocation.
Now, in a time when humans have taken over the domain of gods and tamed the wildest of dragons as beasts of war, he is finding out that things are not as they seem: whether by fate or fortune, Rune is somehow tied to the thousand-year old mystery of the Arke of Aerimore, and the lost magi-ka of heaven that prophets say will be released again. Once Edome's ruthless emperor finds the ark and many nations, including Marina, join his plot to destroy New Athens, Rune has no choice but to find a way to stop the prophecy from happening. And it seems that the stone in his possession may hold the answer. Together, with the aid of his companions, he will have to uncover the mystery and just what it is that connects him to it. Even at the expense of his life and all he loves—before the rekindled flame of Aerimore destroys the world.
This is the story of man’s final stand against man—his final stand against gods.
Sep 28, 2011
QUERY- EPIC FANTASY NOVEL - 2nd Attempt
Click here to read the original query.
Dear ____,
Who would have known something so simple as digging for dragon eggs on the shore would change his life forever? Had Rune Greyhawk not been there that day, perhaps his father would still be alive and New Athens saved from war—perhaps he would have never become a lover to a queen and an adversary to a god.
Fifteen-year old Rune was born a prince, but as the second son with no military experience or national clout, his station was a powerless one. Not to mention is penchant for delinquency. Because of this, his father, the Prefect of Greyhawk, would be sending him to study abroad in the country of Marina as a musician's apprentice.
Little could he know of the more ominous reasons behind his relocation. Whether by fate or fortune, Rune has been thrust into the thousand-year old mystery of the Arke of Aerimore, a sacred coffer filled with the long lost magi-ka of heaven that is prophesied will reopen. Now, in a time where men have taken over the domain of gods and tamed the wildest of dragons, Rune must carry the secret of his destiny to the land of his enemy and, with the aid of his companions, stop the prophecy from being fulfilled—before the rekindled flame of Aerimore destroys the world.
This is the story of man’s final stand against man—his final stand against gods.
THE BALLAD OF THE MOON is a complete, epic fantasy novel at 141,000 words; a modern bildungsroman for a new generation, somewhere between the tone of Anne McCaffrey, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Ursula Le Guin.
I have an A.A. in English, Liberal Arts, and Comparative Literature. I hold a B.A. from UC Davis in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing. I am currently pursuing my M.F.A. in English Literature at the UCA. On my days off, I dig for dragon eggs on the coast.
Thank you for your consideration and your time. If you are interested in reading the text, I would be more than happy to provide it.
Sincerely,
XXX
Dear ____,
Who would have known something so simple as digging for dragon eggs on the shore would change his life forever? Had Rune Greyhawk not been there that day, perhaps his father would still be alive and New Athens saved from war—perhaps he would have never become a lover to a queen and an adversary to a god.
Fifteen-year old Rune was born a prince, but as the second son with no military experience or national clout, his station was a powerless one. Not to mention is penchant for delinquency. Because of this, his father, the Prefect of Greyhawk, would be sending him to study abroad in the country of Marina as a musician's apprentice.
Little could he know of the more ominous reasons behind his relocation. Whether by fate or fortune, Rune has been thrust into the thousand-year old mystery of the Arke of Aerimore, a sacred coffer filled with the long lost magi-ka of heaven that is prophesied will reopen. Now, in a time where men have taken over the domain of gods and tamed the wildest of dragons, Rune must carry the secret of his destiny to the land of his enemy and, with the aid of his companions, stop the prophecy from being fulfilled—before the rekindled flame of Aerimore destroys the world.
This is the story of man’s final stand against man—his final stand against gods.
THE BALLAD OF THE MOON is a complete, epic fantasy novel at 141,000 words; a modern bildungsroman for a new generation, somewhere between the tone of Anne McCaffrey, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Ursula Le Guin.
I have an A.A. in English, Liberal Arts, and Comparative Literature. I hold a B.A. from UC Davis in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing. I am currently pursuing my M.F.A. in English Literature at the UCA. On my days off, I dig for dragon eggs on the coast.
Thank you for your consideration and your time. If you are interested in reading the text, I would be more than happy to provide it.
Sincerely,
XXX
Sep 27, 2011
QUERY EPIC FANTASY NOVEL
Dear X,
Set in a world far from our own, the legend of Aerimore’s flame had long since extinguished before Rune Greyhawk had ever heard of it or the prophecies surrounding the mythical sungod; but now, in an age where men have taken over the domain of gods and tamed the wildest of dragons, Rune has somehow become an unsuspecting participant in the thousand-old mystery, carrying the weight of a new world upon his shoulders.
Who would have known something so simple as mining for dragon eggs on the shore would change his life forever? Had he not been swayed by the potential, fifteen-year old Eyris Gildon would have never left his estranged father and his home in Sena to join New Athens’ army, never met the Crown Prince of Greyhawk who was destined to reset the world again. But the great battle of the East and West tied them together, the nations of New Athens and Edome deep in the throes of war, and just as Eyris was meant to become a warrior of men, Rune was meant to be an adversary of a greater power. Theirs is a tale of heroism and courage, a tale shared with many others who would one day become heroes of old. For this is the story of man’s final stand against man—his final stand against gods.
*TITLE* is a complete, epic fantasy novel at 157,000 words; a modern “bildungsroman” for a new generation, somewhere between the tone of Anne McCaffrey and Ursula Le Guin. A second book has been plotted but not yet written.
*credits and thank you's, etc*
Set in a world far from our own, the legend of Aerimore’s flame had long since extinguished before Rune Greyhawk had ever heard of it or the prophecies surrounding the mythical sungod; but now, in an age where men have taken over the domain of gods and tamed the wildest of dragons, Rune has somehow become an unsuspecting participant in the thousand-old mystery, carrying the weight of a new world upon his shoulders.
Who would have known something so simple as mining for dragon eggs on the shore would change his life forever? Had he not been swayed by the potential, fifteen-year old Eyris Gildon would have never left his estranged father and his home in Sena to join New Athens’ army, never met the Crown Prince of Greyhawk who was destined to reset the world again. But the great battle of the East and West tied them together, the nations of New Athens and Edome deep in the throes of war, and just as Eyris was meant to become a warrior of men, Rune was meant to be an adversary of a greater power. Theirs is a tale of heroism and courage, a tale shared with many others who would one day become heroes of old. For this is the story of man’s final stand against man—his final stand against gods.
*TITLE* is a complete, epic fantasy novel at 157,000 words; a modern “bildungsroman” for a new generation, somewhere between the tone of Anne McCaffrey and Ursula Le Guin. A second book has been plotted but not yet written.
*credits and thank you's, etc*
Sep 25, 2011
Query-The Ash Plague
Dear Agent,
The war started with a drunkard in her library and an arrow in her arm.
Seventeen-year-old Adalmund Pratt is one of the last remaining people who can see and weave the threads of magic in her plague-ravaged country, and as such, she is the newly-appointed Advisor to the Theodyn Heir. During a peace treaty signing with the neighboring nation of Amleth, an Amleth advisor drunkenly slurs in her ear that his nation is on the brink of a revolution against the royal family, and she realizes that she and the Heir of Theodyn are in enemy territory.
The attack comes before they planned. An unknown division of the Amleth army attacks and it’s an arrow through Adalmund’s shoulder and another through the throat of the Heir, who dies in her arms.
Adalmund knows that her ability remains the only chance to save Theodyn. Pushing aside her own grief and feelings of failure, she doesn’t hesitate to obey when the grieving Queen sends her to spy on the Amleth army and bring the murderous army unit to justice.
It’s not an impossible assignment until Adalmund realizes that the soldiers who attacked aren’t a part of the normal army, but are the private guards of a Prince. The only way she can succeed is to forge a precarious truce with Peace, the mysterious leader of the revolution in Amleth, and she’ll do it to save her country—even if the price of Peace is her life.
The first in a planned series, THE ASH PLAUGE is a young adult fantasy novel of 75,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
L.M. Miller
The war started with a drunkard in her library and an arrow in her arm.
Seventeen-year-old Adalmund Pratt is one of the last remaining people who can see and weave the threads of magic in her plague-ravaged country, and as such, she is the newly-appointed Advisor to the Theodyn Heir. During a peace treaty signing with the neighboring nation of Amleth, an Amleth advisor drunkenly slurs in her ear that his nation is on the brink of a revolution against the royal family, and she realizes that she and the Heir of Theodyn are in enemy territory.
The attack comes before they planned. An unknown division of the Amleth army attacks and it’s an arrow through Adalmund’s shoulder and another through the throat of the Heir, who dies in her arms.
Adalmund knows that her ability remains the only chance to save Theodyn. Pushing aside her own grief and feelings of failure, she doesn’t hesitate to obey when the grieving Queen sends her to spy on the Amleth army and bring the murderous army unit to justice.
It’s not an impossible assignment until Adalmund realizes that the soldiers who attacked aren’t a part of the normal army, but are the private guards of a Prince. The only way she can succeed is to forge a precarious truce with Peace, the mysterious leader of the revolution in Amleth, and she’ll do it to save her country—even if the price of Peace is her life.
The first in a planned series, THE ASH PLAUGE is a young adult fantasy novel of 75,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
L.M. Miller
Sep 12, 2011
QUERY- THE RISE OF TEDDY
Dear …,
[something here about them and all the research I've done to ensure that they are a good fit with my novel]
Teddy, an overweight fantasy aficionado, is obsessed with the concept of the hero. He knows that even if nothing about him is heroic he has the mettle to become one … someday. At present, he has more pressing issues, like his job at the local gym. Never has he felt so inadequate. Life is a constant reminder of how far he lies from ideal. Not that it spurs him take any action. That catalyst for change comes when his co-corker, Tia, – his destined princess, as he thinks of her – says, "you would look totally hot if you lost fifty-pounds," Teddy infers more than she means to imply and decides to do something he has never before attempted – lose weight.
If only he knew where to start.
After a mishap that involves dropping a couple hundred pounds on his head, he is approached by the gym's most persistent nutcase – a man in a bright green fanny pack named Stan – and offered help. Unsure, but fully aware that he has no other option, Teddy accepts.
It all seems so easy at first. However, the smooth path soon becomes a jagged and twisted maze with obstacles lurking around every bend. Tia's boyfriend returns to town and pops the bubble of Teddy's inflating self-esteem. Stan's daughter becomes a confusing confound in Teddy's hermetic life. Former nemeses become allies. Through it all, Teddy finds himself acting less and less like the hero he wants to become and more like the immodest kids he once despised. In the end, his actions may forfeit his chances for the one thing he wants: Tia.
THE RISE OF TEDDY, a work of commercial fiction, is complete at 97,000 words.
I am a graduate of 2006 Stanford University and was once an overweight kid myself.
Sincerely,
LP Vendrell
[something here about them and all the research I've done to ensure that they are a good fit with my novel]
Teddy, an overweight fantasy aficionado, is obsessed with the concept of the hero. He knows that even if nothing about him is heroic he has the mettle to become one … someday. At present, he has more pressing issues, like his job at the local gym. Never has he felt so inadequate. Life is a constant reminder of how far he lies from ideal. Not that it spurs him take any action. That catalyst for change comes when his co-corker, Tia, – his destined princess, as he thinks of her – says, "you would look totally hot if you lost fifty-pounds," Teddy infers more than she means to imply and decides to do something he has never before attempted – lose weight.
If only he knew where to start.
After a mishap that involves dropping a couple hundred pounds on his head, he is approached by the gym's most persistent nutcase – a man in a bright green fanny pack named Stan – and offered help. Unsure, but fully aware that he has no other option, Teddy accepts.
It all seems so easy at first. However, the smooth path soon becomes a jagged and twisted maze with obstacles lurking around every bend. Tia's boyfriend returns to town and pops the bubble of Teddy's inflating self-esteem. Stan's daughter becomes a confusing confound in Teddy's hermetic life. Former nemeses become allies. Through it all, Teddy finds himself acting less and less like the hero he wants to become and more like the immodest kids he once despised. In the end, his actions may forfeit his chances for the one thing he wants: Tia.
THE RISE OF TEDDY, a work of commercial fiction, is complete at 97,000 words.
I am a graduate of 2006 Stanford University and was once an overweight kid myself.
Sincerely,
LP Vendrell
Sep 5, 2011
Query- Legend of the Freaks- The F.R.E.A.K.s
On November 15, 2003 every single person on earth fell into a coma, all but Ally Medvec, three other teens, and hideous creatures that were roaming the streets set on killing them.
Running and hiding were the only things Ally and the others could do at first. But by luck they captured Tod, a poor teenaged creature in the wrong place. Terrified of the teens he spilled information that would cost him his life. The most important being the reason Ally and the others were being hunted. He only knew a word - F.R.E.A.K.s. The mysterious title he knew nothing of but was taught to fear.
Special title or not, Ally wanted to run and cower, and that’s what they did, even taking Tod with them, but they quickly learned they could run but they couldn’t hide for long. Starved, exhausted and clinging onto life, Ally finds everyone is looking at her for a way to escape the mayhem. Unwillingly thrown into the role of the leader, and overwhelmed with the fear of losing everyone she has ever known, drives her to think of the insane. To fight back! Because if they’re going to die, why not go out with a bang.
Through impossible odds Ally now leads the others through hell and back as they find out what they truly are and how to save the humans. But nothing in this nightmare is truly what it seems. Ally must figure the way through a web of lies and deception if they want to keep their lives, and save the human race, before it’s too late.
Legend of the Freaks- The F.R.E.A.K.s is a YA Urban Fantasy at 117,000 words with series potential.
Running and hiding were the only things Ally and the others could do at first. But by luck they captured Tod, a poor teenaged creature in the wrong place. Terrified of the teens he spilled information that would cost him his life. The most important being the reason Ally and the others were being hunted. He only knew a word - F.R.E.A.K.s. The mysterious title he knew nothing of but was taught to fear.
Special title or not, Ally wanted to run and cower, and that’s what they did, even taking Tod with them, but they quickly learned they could run but they couldn’t hide for long. Starved, exhausted and clinging onto life, Ally finds everyone is looking at her for a way to escape the mayhem. Unwillingly thrown into the role of the leader, and overwhelmed with the fear of losing everyone she has ever known, drives her to think of the insane. To fight back! Because if they’re going to die, why not go out with a bang.
Through impossible odds Ally now leads the others through hell and back as they find out what they truly are and how to save the humans. But nothing in this nightmare is truly what it seems. Ally must figure the way through a web of lies and deception if they want to keep their lives, and save the human race, before it’s too late.
Legend of the Freaks- The F.R.E.A.K.s is a YA Urban Fantasy at 117,000 words with series potential.
Aug 17, 2011
Query - MODERN MEDICINE
Dear Agent,
Getting into medical school was easy. The hard part was staying out of jail.
Thanks to his photographic memory, medical student Raj Mok has never encountered a test he couldn’t ace. Unfortunately, becoming a doctor involves these things called patients…and they don’t come in multiple choice.
Raj rationalizes the death of his very first patient—a terrible accident. But when a young professional enters the hospital healthy and leaves paralyzed and divorced under his care, Raj is devastated. If only it ended there.
With zero confidence in his abilities, Raj is on the verge of quitting when he is teamed up with Cindy. Innocent flirtation leads to a blossoming relationship with the cute intern. Just as things start to look up, Raj discovers a patient of his has been knowingly infecting several women with a lethal sexually transmitted illness...and Cindy is the most recent victim.
Suddenly Raj must decide if his loyalties reside with his patient or in the sweetness of revenge. The Hippocratic Oath be damned; if he’s learned anything from his patients, it’s that doing what’s right isn’t necessarily the correct answer. Too bad the law doesn’t agree.
Educated at UCLA and Stanford, I am a practicing physician in San Diego, California. I have authored over 40 peer-reviewed academic articles in numerous journals, including the New England Journal of Medicine.
MODERN MEDICINE is a medical thriller complete at 75,000 words.
Thank you for reading and commenting on my query. (Thanks for this great resource Rick.)
Sincerely,
AJ
Getting into medical school was easy. The hard part was staying out of jail.
Thanks to his photographic memory, medical student Raj Mok has never encountered a test he couldn’t ace. Unfortunately, becoming a doctor involves these things called patients…and they don’t come in multiple choice.
Raj rationalizes the death of his very first patient—a terrible accident. But when a young professional enters the hospital healthy and leaves paralyzed and divorced under his care, Raj is devastated. If only it ended there.
With zero confidence in his abilities, Raj is on the verge of quitting when he is teamed up with Cindy. Innocent flirtation leads to a blossoming relationship with the cute intern. Just as things start to look up, Raj discovers a patient of his has been knowingly infecting several women with a lethal sexually transmitted illness...and Cindy is the most recent victim.
Suddenly Raj must decide if his loyalties reside with his patient or in the sweetness of revenge. The Hippocratic Oath be damned; if he’s learned anything from his patients, it’s that doing what’s right isn’t necessarily the correct answer. Too bad the law doesn’t agree.
Educated at UCLA and Stanford, I am a practicing physician in San Diego, California. I have authored over 40 peer-reviewed academic articles in numerous journals, including the New England Journal of Medicine.
MODERN MEDICINE is a medical thriller complete at 75,000 words.
Thank you for reading and commenting on my query. (Thanks for this great resource Rick.)
Sincerely,
AJ
Aug 9, 2011
Query: Cure 4th Revision
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Ok, I know I said the last one was the last one, but some new comments caused some significant changes. Hopefully this is it. Thanks, everyone!
Dear Dream Agent,
When it is discovered that the pathogen responsible for zombie infection can cure cancer, human experimentation leads to an outbreak of infection. Miranda Penton’s hybrid infant holds the key to stopping it and Miranda must decide between saving humanity or her own child’s life.
Miranda gave up her budding military career to marry a fellow soldier but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. In the midst of a painful divorce, Miranda accepts an unexpected job offer as a member of the security team for the Nixon Healing and Research Center.
Her new employer has proof that the zombie pathogen can heal cancer, but the cure comes with the risk of infection. The solution: tempering the virus by way of human-zombie hybrid. The condition that caused Miranda’s baby’s demise makes her the perfect candidate to carry an undead’s offspring to term. She becomes the experiment’s next victim, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived.
A rescue team led by her estranged husband reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.
Impregnated with the hybrid and instinctually driven to keep it, Miranda and Scott contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads, Miranda’s infant daughter is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby’s DNA can stop the outbreak and it’s up to Miranda to save her.
CURE is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.
My short stories have appeared in Shroud Magazine, Dabblestone, and on Tales of the Zombie War’s website. My short story, “The Look-alike” earned me honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest 76th Annual Writing Competition. I am a member of the Horror Writer's Association and New England Horror Writers. I would be happy to send you a partial or the full manuscript of CURE. Thank you for your consideration
Regards,
Belinda Frisch
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Ok, I know I said the last one was the last one, but some new comments caused some significant changes. Hopefully this is it. Thanks, everyone!
Dear Dream Agent,
When it is discovered that the pathogen responsible for zombie infection can cure cancer, human experimentation leads to an outbreak of infection. Miranda Penton’s hybrid infant holds the key to stopping it and Miranda must decide between saving humanity or her own child’s life.
Miranda gave up her budding military career to marry a fellow soldier but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. In the midst of a painful divorce, Miranda accepts an unexpected job offer as a member of the security team for the Nixon Healing and Research Center.
Her new employer has proof that the zombie pathogen can heal cancer, but the cure comes with the risk of infection. The solution: tempering the virus by way of human-zombie hybrid. The condition that caused Miranda’s baby’s demise makes her the perfect candidate to carry an undead’s offspring to term. She becomes the experiment’s next victim, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived.
A rescue team led by her estranged husband reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.
Impregnated with the hybrid and instinctually driven to keep it, Miranda and Scott contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads, Miranda’s infant daughter is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby’s DNA can stop the outbreak and it’s up to Miranda to save her.
CURE is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.
My short stories have appeared in Shroud Magazine, Dabblestone, and on Tales of the Zombie War’s website. My short story, “The Look-alike” earned me honorable mention in the Writer’s Digest 76th Annual Writing Competition. I am a member of the Horror Writer's Association and New England Horror Writers. I would be happy to send you a partial or the full manuscript of CURE. Thank you for your consideration
Regards,
Belinda Frisch
Aug 7, 2011
Query- The Exes in my iPod©
Dear Ms. Slushpile:
The iPod© is one heck of a relationship therapist.
When I got my iPod© Shuffle at age 34, I had no idea that little, shiny square possessed the power to heal. But I quickly discovered my complicated love life could be redeemed with a single playlist.
What’s a girl to do when music is the teleporter to her past lives of failed relationships? Play on. I’d met Mr. Right, or so I’d thought, almost as many times as Madonna sings the word “material” in “Material Girl” (45, if you’re wondering). And hearing each song in my playlist steamrolls me right back to “him.”
The Exes in my iPod© is best described as Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger meets Love is a Mixed Tape by Rob Sheffield. A memoir, Exes is organized as a playlist of 13 songs/chapters, each capturing the essence of my relationship with one ex-boyfriend. After whittling down the deep roster of exes without songs, the remaining 13 men were a fitting reminder that being unlucky in love doesn’t have to mean being unlucky in life. Did I find the bright side in that four-week stint with the svelte model who turned out to be a bisexual coke addict? Check. Did reliving my bicoastal romance with the Black Ops Navy Seal who forgot to mention he was married teach me an even greater lesson? Absolutely. Readers follow my personal journey through life, men and music, as I relive a slew of embarrassing dating disasters, which catapulted me from a college campus in Kansas to a dive boat in Key Largo to a bustling restaurant in Miami—where the real “dish” begins. Along this long, bumpy road to happiness, I forged a career in wine and haute cuisine, ensuring each tale of love, lies and loss is always served with a side order of humble pie (and a glass of Champagne). At the heart of this journey is my struggle to learn the difference between sex and love—and the power of self-respect. Recollection of my past through music has been a powerful tool for understanding the strong woman I’ve become. And it’s been a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy.
Now I’m ready to share my dirty dishes with other women who will recognize themselves—and their relationships— in these stories and songs. My book, The Exes in my iPod©, is approximately 79,000 words. I’ve spent four years polishing this manuscript, and it has been reviewed twice by a professional editor. I'm committed to perfecting it.
A complete book proposal and sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Cheers,
Lisa M. Mattson
The iPod© is one heck of a relationship therapist.
When I got my iPod© Shuffle at age 34, I had no idea that little, shiny square possessed the power to heal. But I quickly discovered my complicated love life could be redeemed with a single playlist.
What’s a girl to do when music is the teleporter to her past lives of failed relationships? Play on. I’d met Mr. Right, or so I’d thought, almost as many times as Madonna sings the word “material” in “Material Girl” (45, if you’re wondering). And hearing each song in my playlist steamrolls me right back to “him.”
The Exes in my iPod© is best described as Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger meets Love is a Mixed Tape by Rob Sheffield. A memoir, Exes is organized as a playlist of 13 songs/chapters, each capturing the essence of my relationship with one ex-boyfriend. After whittling down the deep roster of exes without songs, the remaining 13 men were a fitting reminder that being unlucky in love doesn’t have to mean being unlucky in life. Did I find the bright side in that four-week stint with the svelte model who turned out to be a bisexual coke addict? Check. Did reliving my bicoastal romance with the Black Ops Navy Seal who forgot to mention he was married teach me an even greater lesson? Absolutely. Readers follow my personal journey through life, men and music, as I relive a slew of embarrassing dating disasters, which catapulted me from a college campus in Kansas to a dive boat in Key Largo to a bustling restaurant in Miami—where the real “dish” begins. Along this long, bumpy road to happiness, I forged a career in wine and haute cuisine, ensuring each tale of love, lies and loss is always served with a side order of humble pie (and a glass of Champagne). At the heart of this journey is my struggle to learn the difference between sex and love—and the power of self-respect. Recollection of my past through music has been a powerful tool for understanding the strong woman I’ve become. And it’s been a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy.
Now I’m ready to share my dirty dishes with other women who will recognize themselves—and their relationships— in these stories and songs. My book, The Exes in my iPod©, is approximately 79,000 words. I’ve spent four years polishing this manuscript, and it has been reviewed twice by a professional editor. I'm committed to perfecting it.
A complete book proposal and sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Cheers,
Lisa M. Mattson
Aug 4, 2011
Query- Cure (third revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Well, this is the last one for now. Thanks for the comments and though I've tried to shrink the word count, I feel the more I take away, the more confusing the story sounds. It's totally different from #1, so what do we think now? Better? I cut out the intro/bio for crit purposes only.
What if the pathogen responsible for zombie infection could cure cancer? What if the cost was human experimentation? What if that experiment led to outbreak? And one infant’s life could stop it?
Miranda Penton gave up her budding military career to marry a fellow soldier but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. In the midst of a painful divorce, Miranda accepts an unexpected job offer as a member of the security team for the Nixon Healing and Research Center.
Dr. Howard Nixon, a brilliant scientist and wealthy physician who is conducting experiments on the pathogen that causes zombie infection, hopes to transform the virus into something that will cannibalize tumors in cancer patients. The problem is, he needs to temper it by way of a living hybrid to avoid infecting those he’s treating. The condition that caused Miranda to lose her baby, secretly the reason Dr. Nixon recruited her, makes her the perfect candidate to carry an undead’s offspring to term.
Miranda becomes Dr. Nixon’s next victim, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived. A rescue team led by Scott, her estranged husband, reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.
Impregnated with an experimental hybrid and instinctually driven to keep it, Miranda and Scott contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads, Miranda’s infant daughter is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby holds the cure to the outbreak ravaging the U.S. population. How far will Miranda go to keep her daughter safe and at what cost to the world?
Cure is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Well, this is the last one for now. Thanks for the comments and though I've tried to shrink the word count, I feel the more I take away, the more confusing the story sounds. It's totally different from #1, so what do we think now? Better? I cut out the intro/bio for crit purposes only.
What if the pathogen responsible for zombie infection could cure cancer? What if the cost was human experimentation? What if that experiment led to outbreak? And one infant’s life could stop it?
Miranda Penton gave up her budding military career to marry a fellow soldier but when their first child is stillborn, it’s more tragedy than their new marriage can handle. In the midst of a painful divorce, Miranda accepts an unexpected job offer as a member of the security team for the Nixon Healing and Research Center.
Dr. Howard Nixon, a brilliant scientist and wealthy physician who is conducting experiments on the pathogen that causes zombie infection, hopes to transform the virus into something that will cannibalize tumors in cancer patients. The problem is, he needs to temper it by way of a living hybrid to avoid infecting those he’s treating. The condition that caused Miranda to lose her baby, secretly the reason Dr. Nixon recruited her, makes her the perfect candidate to carry an undead’s offspring to term.
Miranda becomes Dr. Nixon’s next victim, but her imprisonment at the Center is short-lived. A rescue team led by Scott, her estranged husband, reverses the hospital’s lock-down and releases not just the human victims, but the infected on an unsuspecting population.
Impregnated with an experimental hybrid and instinctually driven to keep it, Miranda and Scott contrive a cover story that he is the father. The problem is, not everyone believes it. As the infection spreads, Miranda’s infant daughter is targeted. A defected group of Nixon’s clinical staff believe that her baby holds the cure to the outbreak ravaging the U.S. population. How far will Miranda go to keep her daughter safe and at what cost to the world?
Cure is a zombie horror novel complete at 65,000 words and has series potential.
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