Dec 15, 2010


Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.

Dear [Agent's Name],

London, 1882.

Seven years ago, Emil Aleric and his sister were kidnapped by a man who called himself The Hatter. Emil survived. His sister didn't. So when he hears news of a serial killer ravaging London and leaving a note quoting Alice in Wonderland at each murder scene, Emil is convinced that his former abductor is on the prowl again. And when his young guardian, Officer Corwin James, is put in charge of the case, he thinks it must be fate.

Corwin's not too keen on Emil having anything to do with the case, but Emil's extensive knowledge of the murderer's methods is too invaluable to waste. Yet as the two get closer and closer to tracking the man down, Emil realizes exactly what confronting his past will mean. He can live with the nightmares. But if he fails to avenge his sister's death, he doesn't know how he'll live with himself-- if he lives at all.

Complete at 51,000 words, MAD AS A HATTER is a YA historical mystery written in both Emil and Corwin’s viewpoints. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely, etc.


Anonymous said...

I like it. It grabbed me and made me want to read the story.

I didn't read the earlier versions. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you seem to have cut it down from a longer version? In light of that, I look and ask myself: "What is missing, that I would add?"

I wish there was more character development about Emil --- but hey, that means you've made me curious about him. So I don't think I'd actually add anything on that score.

I like your stip that the story is told in two viewpoints. It's a way of telling the agent that you understand voice and POV, which puts you ahead of a lot of others competing for the agent's attention.

The Las Vegas Writer said...

This looks great. I would love to read the MS some day! Question: you say this is a YA, but how old is Emil?