QUERY: THE TALISMANS OF SUMER

Darrin Rhodes is starting out at a new school, in a new country—and he does not fit in. He’s only half-Mexican in a land of proud descendants of an ancient race. And he was born with the rare disability of seeing only in black and white. And he is invincible.

Before his archaeologist father died in an excavation, he left Darrin a talisman that was sacred to the ancient people along with the instructions to never take it off. He also left him a frustratingly enigmatic old teacher who explains that Darrin now holds one of the eight Talismans of Sumer, powerful relics created by the gods at the dawn of civilization to grant their powers to their favorite civilizations.

The power of Time was given to the Aztecs, the power of Nature to the Mayans. But as the centuries passed, the people forgot about the gods and their gifts. Except for a powerful entity called the Shadow King, who has spent five thousand years hunting the Talismans, and a mysterious group of scholars and treasure hunters that call themselves The Hands of God. Darrin has no idea what his dad’s talisman does, but he quickly learns that there are those who do, and they want him dead.

The Powers of Time and Nature is a 110,000 word young adult historical fantasy novel planned for a series to include subsequent titles: The Powers of Earth and Heaven, The Powers of Life and Death, and The Powers of Order and Chaos.

Thank you for your consideration,

Shawn P. Butler
The Powers of Time and Nature
Book One of The Talismans Cycle

Picture Book Query

Dear Agent,

In a dinosaur’s grasp there are no second chances. So a mouse, hog and goat thwart his sneaky advances.
Just how will this beast quell his great appetite, if none of his friends will let him have a bite?

In the delicious romp: “Aging, Raging Gluttonosaurus!” an arthritic dinosaur uses odd tactics to trap dinner: he mails invitations; tries a meet and greet; and even throws a tantrum. But none of his antics work on the terrorized creatures of the forest. And though he does not get exactly what he wants, it leads to an unexpected delight.

Hopefully you will find my main character and his story an engaging, laugh out loud read. I was inspired to write it after reading Julia Donaldson’s, “The Gruffalo”, although I make no comparisons.

Thank you for your kind consideration.

Query - Siren Pacific

The epic poet Homer doesn’t exactly paint an accurate picture of Sirens. Arden would know. She doesn’t spend her days sitting on a rock in the middle of the ocean. She doesn’t lure unsuspecting sailors to violent deaths, either. She could, if she wanted to. But she doesn’t.

Much to her chagrin, Arden has to keep her abilities a secret, which isn’t always easy. Of course, the sexy new guy at her high school doesn’t help her plight at all. He makes her insides tremble with longing. But as her clan’s future guardian, dating humans isn’t even an option.

Then, a Siren in her clan is killed, the vocal chords ripped from her neck. Arden knows the identity of her people is no longer a secret. The Sons of Orpheus, a vicious cult bent on killing the few remaining Sirens on Earth, has discovered them.

The Sons of Orpheus plan to slaughter the Sirens. They won’t stop until everyone in her clan is dead. Arden could flee, which means leaving her home and the ocean behind. Her only other choice is to stop the Sons before the Sirens of Pacific Grove are exterminated. Leaving her precious ocean is unthinkable, but staying to fight might end her life.

Complete at approximately 70,000 words, SIREN PACIFIC is a young adult urban fantasy. I teach high school English to precocious ninth graders, and their enthusiasm inspires me to write. They have also assured me that sirens are the new vampires for young adult readers. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

QUERY- PROJECT DELTA

For Delta it’s life as usual. You know, a lifetime of “training” and quarantine, then being cut loose to question violent criminals. Typical seventeen-year-old stuff. The “peace” is shattered by a brother she didn’t know she had, who tries to convince her - get this - that she’s worm food existing in the land of the dead.

I bet I know what you’re thinking - somebody’s certifiable - but he’s right. She’s dead. Well, half-dead, half alive. Her brain is deceased, but her body is healthy. It’s just also strapped to a table by scientists who use her for research.

Tough break. Madmen won’t let her wake up. The dead won’t let her go. Her brother won’t stop pushing her to flee. Delta can’t quite separate fantasy from reality. The usual seems like her best option. Only the threat of termination tests her vision of reality, and breaking out starts sounding really good…but how does a damaged girl - who knows nothing about the world - escape?

At its core PROJECT DELTA is about a girl who desperately wants to fit in, but realizes that the status quo isn’t a one-size-fits-all affair.

This manuscript is complete at 70,000 words.

Query- BOOM

Boom isn't supposed to be a safe cracker. Sure, her nickname comes from her talent with dynamite, but she has an honest job. For almost as long as she can remember, she and her grandfather have worked the Transcontinental Railroad with the other Chinese. But when a friend of the foreman shows up and buys out her contract, she soon finds herself crossing half the continent for a job that's anything but honest.

Miles Anderson's old army chaplain is offering spiritual absolution for Miles' dirty work for the Union. All it requires is one last act of reparation: cracking the safe of a riverboat casino before it gets to New Orleans and donating the cash to an orphanage. With over 1000 miles between Miles and his destination in St. Louis, he's short on time to find a blastman for the job. A 16-year old Chinese girl isn't what he has in mind, but it's the best he can do on short notice.

When Boom learns what she's been hired to do she faces becoming a criminal for charity or a very long walk home. Taking a riverboat south brings Miles closer to the sins of his past and vigilantes out for his head. Then there's the little matter of breaking into the monstrous casino safe without ending up in prison or at the end of a noose.

BOOM is a western novel, complete at 71,000 words.

QUERY: SIRUS

Attn. ****

I am happy to be able to submit my 71 000 word urban fantasy novel, Sirus, to you after reading that you enjoy ****

Sirus. Aged 22.

That was the only information which the nightshift nurse had provided him with when he had roused in one of the dingier hospitals of Specter City. With no prior knowledge of who he was or where he came from; Sirus, a dark-skinned, tattooed, Mohawked hipster, sets out to uncover his true identity. One explosion, five murders, and two unearthly visits later and Sirus realises that there is much more to his dilemma than meets the eye.

At a time when Specter City, and the Earth itself, has sunken into a hellish pre-apocalyptic spell of murder, mayhem and devastating climatic displays of fury, Sirus rises, wielding a power which may either save or utterly obliterate everything he holds dear. Sirus must choose between the forces of ‘good’ – the Infinites – or the forces of ‘evil’ – the Demoniacs – whilst desperately trying to discover his origins and keep his beloved stripper girlfriend, Vixen, out of harm’s way.

Set against the backdrop of a war between two powerful otherworldly powers vying for control over Earth, the novel, Sirus, explores one man’s struggle to find and accept both himself and his past. It is the first of three novels of its kind, where the final instalment culminates in an action-packed battle for the control of Earth.

Sirus gravitates towards the themes of self-discovery, action, adventure, romance and betrayal. It is both character- and action-driven and it contains scenes of sexual innuendo as well as strong, yet comical, language.

I am a citizen of the Republic of South Africa, a single mother, and an avid reader and writer. I have had poetry published in the Poetry Institute of Africa’s Anthology: Soulfully Seeking, have won awards in two English Olympiads and have completed an Honours degree in Behavioural Genetics. I use this scientific background as a basis for some of the concepts in my novels, and as a means to control my invariably quirky characters, which often enjoy giving me lip. I am highly connected on social networking sights such as Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Goodreads, and WEbook, and generally love to aid my fellow writers in their endeavours. All of this may aid in marketing my novel.
I thank you for your time and consideration, and look forward to hearing from you. The full manuscript is available upon your request.

Sincerely,
Miss Caitlin White

QUERY: AMELIA'S MONSTERS

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read a previous revision.

To most, the monsters that lived under the bed or in the closet were just a part of their imagination, but for fourteen year old Amelia, the monsters were very real. Night after night they would terrorize her from within the shadows of her closet, calling her Amélie and telling her that their King wished to see her. They would tell her, gently and calmly, that she was the daughter of a hero, and that it was time for her to return to her people. Each time, though, she would turn them away and plead with them to leave her alone. Not that it mattered. She knew they would be back and that her time to follow them peacefully would soon come to an end.

It isn’t until her cousin Lily comes to stay that the monsters finally attack, returning in the middle of the night and taking Lily from her room and bringing her back to their world. Forced to face her fears, Amelia must enter the monsters’ world to rescue her cousin, discovering a tangled past that connects her to the world beyond her closet and the one they call Amélie.

AMELIA’S MONSTERS is a 79,000 world young adult fantasy.


***Note: I have posted this query on this site a long time ago; you can probably still find the original one still hidden within the depths of this website. I have started submitting and have received a good amount of rejections and figure it's because of the above query. I will thank all of you now for your time and feedback as I won't be able to respond to your comments and your own queries for I will be away on vacation for a few days. So once again: thank you!

Romance Query: Conquered

Dear Agent:

I am currently seeking representation for my novel Conquered. Conquered is a 78,000 word romance, set within a fictional civilization that mirrors the ancient times of Rome and Persia.

Amarah is haunted by loss, as her village was destroyed by the tyrant King Xavier. Just as she forces away images of war Xavier emerges once again. The king becomes captivated by her innocent beauty and steals her away. During the voyage to Xavier’s land of Etheridge Amarah develops feelings for Kaiden. Kaiden is a lower rank Etheridgian soldier who becomes challenged by his love for Amarah and his duty to his king. When Amarah arrives to the palace she is thrown into Xavier’s world of women, where ultimately she must yield to him. Through her submission Amarah learns she is more than a concubine to the king. She is not flattered by his adoration and when Kaiden returns to her life, Amarah will do anything to be with him. She will risk her life, and even con the king with seduction and promises of devotion. As Amarah’s plot unravels she finds Xavier is not as blinded by his affections for her as she assumed. Amarah must decide what is important, the love she possesses for Kaiden, or her safety as her plans of deceit is uncovered.

I studied with the Institute of Children’s Literature and I am a member of several online critique groups. I am the author of the recently published science fiction romance, Beyond Gavia.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Sincerely,

Crystal Parney

QUERY: REIGN OF MAGIC (revision 2)

Click here to read the original query.

Dear ****,

Lewan gasped as a mysterious force ripped through the army, killing thousands of men instantaneously. He was only a volunteer, answering his king’s call to war. Why was he the only one spared? And how did this happen? Magic was just a story told to scare small children, but what else could kill an army in seconds?

Lewan flees the battlefield and reports the events to his king, but no one believes him. No one, that is, except the watchers – a secret organization dedicated to destroying magic. The watchers are unable to eliminate the magical power, and must contend with politics and internal coups as they struggle to contain the situation. To make matters worse, a sorcerer appears in the land after centuries of absence with an agenda of his own. A power struggle ensues, a fight between men and kingdoms to control a force long hidden from the land. Magic devastated the realm in centuries past, and without interference it will happen again.

REIGN OF MAGIC is a completed 75,200 word fantasy for adult readers. It is told from three points of view: Lewan, the watchers, and the sorcerers. I have one published short story in Byline Magazine.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

****

QUERY: REIGN OF MAGIC

Dear ****,

War was supposed to be glorious. Lewan volunteered gladly to fight for his king, but nothing could have prepared him for the cold brutality of battle. His regiment retreats and seeks shelter in an old crypt, accidentally activating an ancient power that kills thousands of men instantaneously. Lewan, the only soldier spared, flees the battlefield in a panic. Magic was just a story told to scare small children, but what else could kill an army in seconds?

Frightened and confused, Lewan reports the events to his king, but no one believes him. No one, that is, except the watchers – a secret organization dedicated to destroying magic. The watchers want to eliminate the source of the magic, but a sorcerer long since thought dead appears with an agenda of his own. On top of that, the king begins to suspect the true cause behind the slaughter and seeks to understand its meaning. A power struggle quickly ensues, a fight between men and kingdoms to control a force long hidden from the land. Magic devastated the realm in centuries past, and without interference it is posed to do it again.

REIGN OF MAGIC is a completed 75,200 word fantasy for young adult readers. It is told from four points of view: Lewan, the watchers, the sorcerers, and the kings. I have one published short story in Byline Magazine.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

****

Query - Merm-8 (second revision)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

Mermaids do not exist. No one knows that better than Gene, who's scrounging out a living on the flooded future Earth with salvage and smuggling jobs. He's traveled everywhere with his AI companion, Stitch, and never seen anything more majestic than a barnacled whale. So how and why did an honest-to-god mermaid get stuck in his ship's exhaust port?

He has no idea what to do with her, but she's frantically gesturing about something. So he takes her to Carl Rance, a scientist on a sea station, who grows obsessed with her beauty and mystery. Gene, too, must control his growing affection, which conflicts with his bachelor lifestyle.

Before anyone solves her mystery, an unknown silver ship attacks and destroys the station. Gene narrowly escapes with the mermaid, becoming the only person who can help her. But once Gene figures out what she wants, she'll lead him to a secret the world isn't ready for. One that has the potential to destroy the remnants of the planet.

MERM-8 is a 86,000 word science-fiction novel. I have been previously published in Electric Spec, Flash Me, The Dunesteef, and received an honorable mention in the 2010 Writers of the Future contest.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
[NAME]

QUERY- ANOMALY

Dear Agent,

I hope you will consider my young adult fantasy novel, Anomaly.

16-year-old Maya is an Anomaly—superhuman. Her ability to teleport, called “shifting,” is a rare and extraordinary one. While adjusting to her new home in London and learning how to control her ability, Maya has to juggle two Anomaly boys: a hunky albeit nerdy Italian who can become transparent, and a sexy British rocker who can nullify electricity but always seems to have a motive other than love. Maya is also targeted by Aristar Industries, a corporation of Anomalies hell-bent on stealing DNA, cloning abilities, and storming the British government. Aristar wants shifters in their ranks—which means they want Maya… or rather, her DNA. A cat-and-mouse chase for her genetic material thrusts Maya into a world of deception, kidnapping, murder, and world domination, where the stakes are high and the consequences of failure deadly.

Being an optometrist and a former National Science Foundation Fellow have groomed my brain for the scientific ins and outs of this novel. I’m a member of SCBWI and when I'm not writing, I'm figure skating or blogging at www.anitasaxena.com. I hope the sample pages will interest you in the full 80,000-word manuscript, which I believe has series potential. It is a simultaneous submission. Thank you for your time.

Best,

Anita

Query: KEY OF EDEN

Dear Agent,

We are pleased to submit for consideration our young adult paranormal romance KEY OF EDEN. In this 70,000 word tale of violence, miracles, and romance, seventeen-year-old Ava Monroe must defeat the fallen angels before the world is destroyed and the forces of the apocalypse are unleashed.

When she is attacked by a group of blood thirsty angels called the fallen she is rescued by Barak and his three heavenly sidekicks, the guardians. They ambush the ungodly creatures and send them tucking tail and licking their wounds. Ava learns that she is the key to Eden and the catalyst for defeating the fallen and their attempt to regain power over mankind—what does that even mean?

Dodging the steroid driven jock that is stocking her, evading her guidance councilor’s suspicious questions, obeying the rules of the guardian dictatorship (she doesn’t mind if the rules involves exile with the Sexy Barak), and passing the SAT’s—leaves Ava little time to for much else. But, when Ava’s BFF (more like sister from another mother) Erica is captured by the fallen she has two choices: to join the fallen angels and save her friend or join the guardians and save all of mankind.

KEY OF EDEN was the joint effort of Stacey Hays and Jennifer Nichols. We are cousins-turned-writing-partners. We are both from the Bowling Green area, members of SCBWI and contributing authors to the blog Our Pages Aren’t Numbered.

We would be happy to send you the manuscript upon request. Thank you for your time.

QUERY - TALES FROM THE ICE CREAMATORIUM

QUERY - TALES FROM THE ICE CREAMATORIUM


Dear _______:

All Buck and Bonnie Diddley wanted were three well-behaved children. Instead, they ended up with twenty-four, each one more eccentric than the first. The Diddley family members live in a former funeral home, and they split their time between having outlandish misadventures around the house and running the Ice Creamatorium, an ice cream shop set up in the funeral home’s old crematory. The bizarre escapades they create make up TALES FROM THE ICE CREAMATORIUM, where each chapter is its own stand-alone vignette that highlights one member of this lovable, engaging family.

If you would like to meet the Diddley family, I can furnish the 30,000-word middle-grade manuscript at your request. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
_____________________

Query- On the Surface

Dear [Agent Name],

Graham is a vampire; he just doesn’t know it yet. He was captured by werewolves and given a drug named, "The Cure." Now he is human and has no memory of the past two thousand years. With less than sixty vampires in existence, and Graham being one of the three original creators, his disappearance doesn't go unnoticed for long.

The wolves stationed Graham in an apartment just outside the city and as the first subject "The Cure" has successfully changed, he is closely monitored by his kidnappers. When Graham's vampire companion, Karl, discovers his location, he must find a way to get close enough to his friend to remove the drug-induced transformation.

After "The Cure" is forcibly removed and the human side effects begin to wear off, Graham must accept the creature he is, but the terrifying changes from human to vampire are enough drive him to the wolves, seeking a normal life. But the experiment he underwent has been ruined and now the werewolves want him dead.

With no other choice, Graham is forced to return to his vampire friends and attempt to go back to a world he doesn't remember yet.

My contemporary fantasy novel, On the Surface, complete at 79,000 words, is about a man striving to learn about his past and then cautiously coming to terms with the creature he turns out to be.

I received my B.A. in English writing from [omitted] and have had short, non-fiction pieces published on a locally-based website [omitted].

Thank you for offering your time to read a little about On the Surface.

Sincerely,

[omitted]

QUERY - DAMSEL TO THE RESCUE

Dear Agent:

I thought you might be interested in DAMSEL TO THE RESCUE, a gender-role-bending YA fantasy adventure.

Terrilyn Darkhorse comes from a long line of successful, prince-rescuing damsels. Now that she’s sixteen, she’s expected to uphold the family tradition. But Terri dreams of being a gardener and would rather remain at home, tending her garden, perfecting her plant magic, and staying far away from the highly competitive world of damsels.

Then the local prince is kidnapped and Terri’s mother makes her an offer: Beat the other damsels and be the one to rescue the prince, and Terri can have the family’s second estate, Trellis, to turn into her own gardens. Terri has wanted Trellis since she was a little girl, so she sets out with her best friend Rune as her official sidekick, hoping to avoid the other damsels altogether.

Before long, Terri and Rune are set upon by hordes of trolls and find themselves rescuing rival damsels from man-eating trees. As the onslaught of enemies grows, Terri learns to rely on her magic and an unexpected source of aid—her rivals—to conquer each challenge. Because she is determined to succeed, even if it means coping with snotty elf princesses, chainmail bikinis, and the most powerful Dark Lord the world has seen in five-hundred years.

DAMSEL TO THE RESCUE is complete at 83,000 words. It will appeal to readers who appreciate Tamora Pierce’s strong heroines and Patricia C. Wrede’s quirky sense of humor.

Included are the materials you request in your submission guidelines. Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,

Query- Modern Medicine (Revised)

Click here to read the original query.

Medical charts tell only a skewed fraction of what actually occurs during a patient’s hospitalization. Contained within this file are the complete stories of what befell seven patients treated at the University Hospital and their role in transforming an innocent medical student into not just a physician, but something much darker.

Raj Mok never knew colostomies could be prostituted, cancers infested by maggots, or that TEN is the most lethal number … until he began medical school. Having spent more time interviewing prostitutes than treating heart attacks, Raj’s first year of clinical medicine taught him one thing: outrageous patients make for excellent training.

Seven patients. Six stories. One hospital.

Not for the faint of heart.

Query - King's Mark (revised)

Click here to read the original query.

Hi all! Someone suggested I try the query from one of my other POV characters. Since it's an epic fantasy, I just happen to have 3 of equal weight to choose from. Here's a completely different query for the same book. Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

Chay isn’t blind; he’s just pretending to be. Some street flies fake disabilities to earn sympathy and extra coin, but that’s not why Chay took up the blindfold. He did it to hide the birthmarks that identify him as the lowliest scum in the city – a Marked, servant to the absent King. If he slips up and someone realizes what he is, he’ll be starved, tortured, and killed as a traitor.

Chay will do anything to protect his family of guttersnipes, from taking a beating to blackmailing a member of the Broken Court, the city’s underground society. His super-human intuition usually warns him of trouble before it arrives and keeps him one step ahead of his enemies, but it can’t protect him from his own bad choices.

When Chay picks a fight with a rival in order to protect a new find, it escalates and triggers the deeper magic lying dormant within him. Although he struggles to remain free, Chay knows it’s only a matter of time before he’s caught – but he doesn’t expect to be betrayed by one of his own in return for food and safety for the rest of the ring.

Luckily for Chay, his captor is a rebel leader who has no interest in dealing with the authorities. Instead, he wants to use Chay’s newfound powers as a rallying point for his insurgency.

Chay finds he has talent and passion for stirring up trouble. He sets out to make a better world, because though he’s angry with his traitorous friend, he’s furious with society itself. But the government is the least of his worries – another enemy hides in plain sight, and the rebellion is playing right into her hands.

KING’S MARK, complete at 90,000 words, is a stand-alone epic fantasy with room for a sequel. Additional material is available upon request.

Thank you for your time and consideration (and thanks again everybody here at PQS)

QUERY 2.0 -- A TEMPORARY CONVENIENCE

Click here for the original query.

The language here hasn't been polished. I'm just trying to see if I'm moving in the right direction.

Without further ado --

Beth Macdonald is inexplicably rescued from the world of temp work with an offer of lucrative, permanent employment from successful art dealer Dorie Campbell. The next day, Mrs. Campbell's gorgeous and über-rich accountant appears at the shop and quickly launches into ardent and confident pursuit. Perhaps now Beth can tell her parents that her Ph.D. in pre-modern Scottish history wasn't career suicide and not everyone thinks she's a pedantic wiseass (or at least, someone finds that trait endearing). She could be so happy if only she didn't suspect her new boss, her new beau, or both are up to no good.

It sure seems as if they're covering something up. Beth's predecessor supposedly trashed the inventory records and has gone missing. The records Beth reassembles are cryptic, duplicative, and inconsistent, and are promptly snatched away by Mr. Campbell. The IRS is sniffing around, as are a couple members of a reputed Mob family. The Campbells are commonly believed to have a thriving a horse business, but their big barn is almost empty. Meanwhile, their supposedly empty guesthouse is occupied. And a friend emails Beth to report Mr. Perfect is a "Bad Boy" who may have an ulterior purpose (or three) for his sudden infatuation.

The last time a Macdonald trusted the Bloody Campbells didn't work out that well. Beth doesn't want to blow this first chance at permanent employment, but she doesn't want to work for crooks either–particularly not when they're suddenly determined to go into business with her father. She knows she has to figure out if the Campbells are crooked and, if so, what crimes are involved. She just needs to avoid whatever happened to Mrs. Campbell's last assistant, also once wooed by the stunning accountant.

A TEMPORARY CONVENIENCE, a 104,000-word mystery full of sarcasm, Scotch, sexual obsession, and a bit of Shakespeare, is able to stand alone but intended as part of a trilogy.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

QUERY: A TEMPORARY CONVENIENCE

Life is frustrating for Beth Macdonald. As her attorney father says, a law degree would have yielded better employment opportunities than a Ph.D. in pre-modern Scottish history. Her mother declares Beth's moribund love life is due to her unwillingness to eat meat or to stop being such a pedantic wiseass. Then successful art dealer Dorie Campbell inexplicably rescues Beth from the world of temp work with an offer of lucrative, permanent employment. A day later, gorgeous, über-rich Ted Bruce -- the Campbells' friend, accountant, and banker -- appears at the shop and quickly launches into ardent and confident pursuit.

Beth can't take solace in either development. At work, she faces confusing files, an IRS accountant telling her to quit, her father's Mob-family client asking for a favor, and lies from Dorie and her husband piling ever higher. Meanwhile, a friend emails Beth to report his former classmate Ted is a "Bad Boy" who may have an ulterior purpose (or three) for his sudden infatuation with her. Unfortunately, no one can find Dorie's previous assistant, a woman Ted once wooed.

The last time a Macdonald trusted the Bloody Campbells didn't work out that well. But running away wouldn't protect her or her family and would give the Campbells a pass. She knows she has to investigate–and resist the hot Mr. Bruce who might be part of the Campbells' schemes, if schemes there be. The last bit will be harder.

A TEMPORARY CONVENIENCE, a 104,000-word mystery full of sarcasm, Scotch, sexual obsession, and a bit of Shakespeare, is able to stand alone but intended as part of a trilogy.

Thank you for your time and consideration.