Dear Agent,
Lucy has the kind of luck any child, or adult for that matter, would dream of- everything she wishes just happens to happen before it is said. But after an embarrassing classroom accident and a costly doll wish, it becomes very clear that her luck isn’t lucky for everyone near. When one of her wishes costs her best friend and dog the last piece of his favorite cake, he makes it his mission to put a stop to her wishing. Despite his hard work, Lucy is convinced that the only way to have fun is through self-wishes and it is not until she has a life changing experience that she begins to see the true value of her luck: her ability to wish a world of great things for the people she loves.
Lucky Lucy, Better than a Four Leaf Clover is a 1600 word rhyming picture book that tells Lucy’s story from the perspective of her dog and best friend. Beginning with her fortuitous birth in the back of a taxicab and ending with her self-realization at a child’s birthday party, the story is a fast-passed tale of friendship and transformation that is written for both children and parents.
As indicated in your submission instructions I have included the full manuscript.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration,
Mar 23, 2011
Query- The Silver Strand (3rd revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Agent,
I submit my middle grade, fantasy adventure, The Silver Strand, complete at 55,000 words for your consideration. The novel is based in the northern coast of New South Wales, Australia and in the inner earth city of Agartha. It will appeal to readers who laugh out loud, or those who love mythical creatures, secret underground worlds and high-tech flying devices as featured in Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl.
When thirteen year old Isabelle Tresdon wishes her chunky, silver strand of hair never sprouted, she never bargained on it draining her magical power and life.
With five days to save her life, she undertakes three tests with the help of two Masterminds, in exchange for delivering a crystal bracelet encoded with information. Trouble is, these two tricksters manipulate energy using their minds and their idea of tests equals Isabelle's worst nightmare. First they transform her into a toad forcing her to rely on prickling warts to dodge death. Then she is challenged by a grumpy dragon who threatens to roast her on a spit.
Isabelle thinks her last test will be a breeze until she and her companions are accused of being traitors and imprisoned in Agartha. To escape, she must muster what remains of her magic and battle corrupt Agarthan leaders who break every rule to seize the bracelet and protect their secrets. If Isabelle's already good as dead, she may as well go down fighting.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Agent,
I submit my middle grade, fantasy adventure, The Silver Strand, complete at 55,000 words for your consideration. The novel is based in the northern coast of New South Wales, Australia and in the inner earth city of Agartha. It will appeal to readers who laugh out loud, or those who love mythical creatures, secret underground worlds and high-tech flying devices as featured in Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl.
When thirteen year old Isabelle Tresdon wishes her chunky, silver strand of hair never sprouted, she never bargained on it draining her magical power and life.
With five days to save her life, she undertakes three tests with the help of two Masterminds, in exchange for delivering a crystal bracelet encoded with information. Trouble is, these two tricksters manipulate energy using their minds and their idea of tests equals Isabelle's worst nightmare. First they transform her into a toad forcing her to rely on prickling warts to dodge death. Then she is challenged by a grumpy dragon who threatens to roast her on a spit.
Isabelle thinks her last test will be a breeze until she and her companions are accused of being traitors and imprisoned in Agartha. To escape, she must muster what remains of her magic and battle corrupt Agarthan leaders who break every rule to seize the bracelet and protect their secrets. If Isabelle's already good as dead, she may as well go down fighting.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Query Joseph and the Magical Pathways
Its Joseph Wendt’s first day as a teenager and life just got infinitely more complicated. Joseph would like to think he is still that guy who doesn’t believe in magic, dragons, or wizards. He was that guy before a shadow figure attacked him, before a wizard saved him, and before he discovered a one thousand year old prophesy which points to him as the one destined to save a magical world Joseph has never even heard of.
If you ask Joseph, however, the prophesy has named the wrong man. Forget the fact that being brave is not one of Joseph’s characteristics, or that words have a funny way of fighting him; Joseph isn’t magical, never has been, not a day in his life. He is certainly not the type of boy you would expect to be chosen to save the world or save, well, anything. But all of that is about to change.
Joseph is thrust into a world where things are never what they seem. Wizards are the norm and fairies are evil. Luckily, Juliana, a wizard-in-training with a fierce competitive streak, is up for the challenge of getting one befuddled teenage boy ready for the fight of his life.
With a few lessons, and one very interesting game night where things only went mildly wrong (Joseph really hadn’t meant to levitate Juliana’s family, that was definitely his wand’s fault), Joseph almost believes, that maybe, just maybe...nah.
But doubt shuffling around Joseph’s rambling mind is the least of his worries. With magic, the line between the truth and a lie are quickly blurred and betrayal is an easily accomplished task. Joseph must face the facts. His new friends may not be what they seem. And time is running out.
Joseph and the Magical Pathways is a complete young adult fantasy novel at 65,000 words. Thank you for your time.
If you ask Joseph, however, the prophesy has named the wrong man. Forget the fact that being brave is not one of Joseph’s characteristics, or that words have a funny way of fighting him; Joseph isn’t magical, never has been, not a day in his life. He is certainly not the type of boy you would expect to be chosen to save the world or save, well, anything. But all of that is about to change.
Joseph is thrust into a world where things are never what they seem. Wizards are the norm and fairies are evil. Luckily, Juliana, a wizard-in-training with a fierce competitive streak, is up for the challenge of getting one befuddled teenage boy ready for the fight of his life.
With a few lessons, and one very interesting game night where things only went mildly wrong (Joseph really hadn’t meant to levitate Juliana’s family, that was definitely his wand’s fault), Joseph almost believes, that maybe, just maybe...nah.
But doubt shuffling around Joseph’s rambling mind is the least of his worries. With magic, the line between the truth and a lie are quickly blurred and betrayal is an easily accomplished task. Joseph must face the facts. His new friends may not be what they seem. And time is running out.
Joseph and the Magical Pathways is a complete young adult fantasy novel at 65,000 words. Thank you for your time.
Mar 21, 2011
Query- WALKING OFF PLUTO (Version 3)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
Lynn’s father is dying, but she’s more concerned about Pluto losing its status in the solar system. She’d rather be alone and mourn for the dwarf planet than grieve for a man she secretly hates in WALKING OFF PLUTO, a contemporary young adult novel at 78,000 words.
Seventeen-year-old Lynn risks losing control of her emotions when she meets Peter in the hospital, the same night her father passes away. She’s attracted to Peter because he speaks his mind, yet lies constantly, and thinks Pluto will always be a planet at heart. Despite multiple medical conditions, including a fear of food, he is Lynn’s ultimate distraction, while Lynn’s older sister, Chloe, is the ultimate agitation.
Chloe seeks to crack through Lynn’s self-created shell in order to understand Lynn’s resentment. Chloe’s attempts are a failure as Lynn becomes practically inhuman, not even cringing when she bashes a mirror with her bare hands. The only time Lynn feels remotely alive is when she is with Peter who has a few secrets of his own. When Peter opens up about the tragedies of his past, Lynn realizes that if she doesn't face her father’s death and the resentment she holds against him, she’ll never be able to love anyone.
WALKING OFF PLUTO began as a short play. (INSERT INFO ABOUT PERFORMANCES AND FESTIVALS AND HOW PLAY GREW INTO A NOVEL)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
The Blank Girl
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
Lynn’s father is dying, but she’s more concerned about Pluto losing its status in the solar system. She’d rather be alone and mourn for the dwarf planet than grieve for a man she secretly hates in WALKING OFF PLUTO, a contemporary young adult novel at 78,000 words.
Seventeen-year-old Lynn risks losing control of her emotions when she meets Peter in the hospital, the same night her father passes away. She’s attracted to Peter because he speaks his mind, yet lies constantly, and thinks Pluto will always be a planet at heart. Despite multiple medical conditions, including a fear of food, he is Lynn’s ultimate distraction, while Lynn’s older sister, Chloe, is the ultimate agitation.
Chloe seeks to crack through Lynn’s self-created shell in order to understand Lynn’s resentment. Chloe’s attempts are a failure as Lynn becomes practically inhuman, not even cringing when she bashes a mirror with her bare hands. The only time Lynn feels remotely alive is when she is with Peter who has a few secrets of his own. When Peter opens up about the tragedies of his past, Lynn realizes that if she doesn't face her father’s death and the resentment she holds against him, she’ll never be able to love anyone.
WALKING OFF PLUTO began as a short play. (INSERT INFO ABOUT PERFORMANCES AND FESTIVALS AND HOW PLAY GREW INTO A NOVEL)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
The Blank Girl
Mar 18, 2011
Query- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE- 5th revision
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.Click here to read the third revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.
Ex-Army security expert Ryan Anderson thought it was just his bad luck when a careless truck driver rammed into his car. He had no idea how deadly the truck's cargo was, or that the men guarding it had been given very explicit instructions- exterminate any witnesses.
But when the men from the truck hunt him down and brutally attack, Ryan retaliates with the help of attorney Jessica Webb. Turns out, she's the smart one. The one who figures out that it's not the Chechen gang posing as a trucking company that they have to worry about, but the really bad man who paid them to ferry his illicit shipment to Seattle from half a world away.
Working together, Ryan and Jessica quickly realize that his seemingly random accident has thrust them into the middle of a sinister scheme set in motion decades ago by the fall of the Soviet Union. They uncover a bloody trail that leads from Washington to Sudan to Moscow, when Jessica suddenly disappears. Turns out, he's the brave one. The one who knows that unless he can find her, and stop the one man who started it all, they'll both be dead by first light. Ashes, actually.
REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-word thriller, first in a series. Readers of authors like Vince Flynn, Frederick Forsyth, Alex Berenson, and Daniel Silva might enjoy this book.
Thank you for reviewing this query. Please let me know if I can send you a synopsis or any part of the manuscript.
Mar 17, 2011
Query: The Narrow Way-1st Revision
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent,
"I take refuge in the Buddha. I take refuge in the Dharma. I take refuge in the Sangha," I say, repeating the words of His Holiness the Dalai Lama as they wash over me from the crackling loudspeakers.
And with that, I am a Buddhist. Nothing has changed. Everything has changed.
Only three years before, I was crouched on the floor, picking through a dirty carpet for bits of crack cocaine that might have sizzled of the end of my pipe. That was the climax of my life twenty years in the making, hiding in the closet, pretending to be straight, seeking to drown myself in a violent ocean of drinking, drugs and attempted suicides.
But now, out, sober and free, I am in India following the footsteps of the Buddha and for the first time in my life, I am certain that I have come the right way.
The completed manuscript of The Narrow Way: A Memoir of Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha is approximately 62,000 words. A comprehensive book proposal, including a detailed market analysis and promotion strategy, is also available upon request.
Sincerely,
Chris Lemig
Dear Agent,
"I take refuge in the Buddha. I take refuge in the Dharma. I take refuge in the Sangha," I say, repeating the words of His Holiness the Dalai Lama as they wash over me from the crackling loudspeakers.
And with that, I am a Buddhist. Nothing has changed. Everything has changed.
Only three years before, I was crouched on the floor, picking through a dirty carpet for bits of crack cocaine that might have sizzled of the end of my pipe. That was the climax of my life twenty years in the making, hiding in the closet, pretending to be straight, seeking to drown myself in a violent ocean of drinking, drugs and attempted suicides.
But now, out, sober and free, I am in India following the footsteps of the Buddha and for the first time in my life, I am certain that I have come the right way.
The completed manuscript of The Narrow Way: A Memoir of Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha is approximately 62,000 words. A comprehensive book proposal, including a detailed market analysis and promotion strategy, is also available upon request.
Sincerely,
Chris Lemig
Mar 13, 2011
QUERY-REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE- 4th REVISION
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Ex-Army security expert Ryan Anderson thought it was just his bad luck when a careless truck driver rammed into his car. He had no idea how deadly the truck's cargo was, or that the men guarding it had been given very explicit instructions- exterminate any witnesses.
But when the men from the truck hunt him down and brutally attack, Ryan retaliates with the help of attorney Jessica Webb. Turns out, she's the smart one. The one who figures out that it's not the Chechen gang posing as a trucking company that they have to worry about, but the really bad man who paid them to ferry his illicit shipment to Seattle from half a world away.
Working together, Ryan and Jessica quickly realize that his seemingly random accident has thrust them into the middle of a sinister scheme set in motion decades ago by the fall of the Soviet Union. They uncover a bloody trail that leads from Washington to the Sudan to Moscow, when Jessica suddenly disappears. Turns out, he's the brave one. The one who knows that unless he can find her, and stop the one man who started it all, they'll both be dead by first light. Ashes, actually.
REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-WORD thriller, first in a series. Readers of authors like Vince Flynn, Frederick Forsyth, Alex Berenson, and Daniel Silva might enjoy this book.
I have a BA in English from the University of Iowa. Like my protagonist Ryan Anderson, I am a 'security expert'. I own a business specializing in products for video surveillance.
Thank you for reviewing this query.
Query: The Silver Strand (second revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
The Silver Strand is a middle grade, fantasy adventure complete at 55,000 words. The novel is based in the northern coast of New South Wales, Australia and in the inner earth city of Agartha. It will appeal to readers who laugh out loud at Morris Gleitzman's Toad Rage, or those who love mythical creatures, secret underground worlds, high-tech flying devices and action adventures like Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl.
When thirteen year old Isabelle Tresdon wishes her chunky, silver strand of hair never sprouted, it tarnishes and withers away, along with her imagination. Turns out the lock is her source of inner magic and in five days time it will die, and so will she. To save her strand, she must undertake three tests with the help of two Masterminds. In exchange, she agrees to deliver a crystal bracelet encoded with information.
Trouble is, these two tricksters manipulate energy using their minds and their idea of tests equals Isabelle's worst nightmare. First they transform her into a toad until she masters tapping into her animal instincts. Sure, toad warts aren't pretty. But when they prickle, she best get her poison glands ready, unless she wants to be gobbled by a snake or squished by her father's spade. Second, she stands up to a dragon that threatens to roast her on a spit if she fails to draw his portrait.
After defying death, Isabelle thinks her last test will be a breeze until she and one of her companions are accused of being traitors and imprisoned. All along, Isabelle is used a pawn in the Masterminds' game to expose corruption within the ranks of Agartha's rulers. To escape, she must muster what remains of her inner magic and battle powerful enemies who break all the rules to seize the bracelet and protect their secrets. If Isabelle's already good as dead, she may as well go down fighting.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
The Silver Strand is a middle grade, fantasy adventure complete at 55,000 words. The novel is based in the northern coast of New South Wales, Australia and in the inner earth city of Agartha. It will appeal to readers who laugh out loud at Morris Gleitzman's Toad Rage, or those who love mythical creatures, secret underground worlds, high-tech flying devices and action adventures like Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl.
When thirteen year old Isabelle Tresdon wishes her chunky, silver strand of hair never sprouted, it tarnishes and withers away, along with her imagination. Turns out the lock is her source of inner magic and in five days time it will die, and so will she. To save her strand, she must undertake three tests with the help of two Masterminds. In exchange, she agrees to deliver a crystal bracelet encoded with information.
Trouble is, these two tricksters manipulate energy using their minds and their idea of tests equals Isabelle's worst nightmare. First they transform her into a toad until she masters tapping into her animal instincts. Sure, toad warts aren't pretty. But when they prickle, she best get her poison glands ready, unless she wants to be gobbled by a snake or squished by her father's spade. Second, she stands up to a dragon that threatens to roast her on a spit if she fails to draw his portrait.
After defying death, Isabelle thinks her last test will be a breeze until she and one of her companions are accused of being traitors and imprisoned. All along, Isabelle is used a pawn in the Masterminds' game to expose corruption within the ranks of Agartha's rulers. To escape, she must muster what remains of her inner magic and battle powerful enemies who break all the rules to seize the bracelet and protect their secrets. If Isabelle's already good as dead, she may as well go down fighting.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Louisa Clarkson
Mar 11, 2011
Query: The Narrow Way
Dear (Agent's Name),
In 2007, after twenty years of addiction, depression and attempted suicides, I finally found the courage to come out to family and friends as being gay. This profound inner shift was the spark for a spiritual revolution that would open my eyes to the teachings of Buddhism and lead me all the way to a life changing pilgrimage in India and Nepal.
Part psychological mystery, part spiritual adventure story, The Narrow Way: A Memoir of Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha traces my life from the confines of the closet and hopeless addiction, all the way through an extraordinary transformation into a man who has finally learned to love himself.
I hope that the book I have written about this journey will not only be a guide for the people and families who are working through the coming out process but also a source of comfort and support for the millions who suffer the pain of addiction and an inspiration to all who read it to live according to their highest truth.
Since coming out three and a half years ago, I have traveled for two months in India and Nepal, completed a college course on creative non-fiction, written a full-length memoir and continued to stay clean and sober. I also teach weekly meditation classes in Colorado Springs under the guidance of Tibetan Buddhist nun, Venerable Tenzin Kacho.
I believe that The Narrow Way fits your agency’s criteria as a work that “sees the world through an uncommon lens” and that your passion and commitment to stories that inspire and promote positive change in the world make you a perfect choice for representation. As a result, I am sending this query exclusively to you.
The completed manuscript of The Narrow Way is approximately 62,000 words. A comprehensive book proposal, including a detailed market analysis and promotion strategy, is also available upon request.
Sincerely,
Chris Lemig
In 2007, after twenty years of addiction, depression and attempted suicides, I finally found the courage to come out to family and friends as being gay. This profound inner shift was the spark for a spiritual revolution that would open my eyes to the teachings of Buddhism and lead me all the way to a life changing pilgrimage in India and Nepal.
Part psychological mystery, part spiritual adventure story, The Narrow Way: A Memoir of Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha traces my life from the confines of the closet and hopeless addiction, all the way through an extraordinary transformation into a man who has finally learned to love himself.
I hope that the book I have written about this journey will not only be a guide for the people and families who are working through the coming out process but also a source of comfort and support for the millions who suffer the pain of addiction and an inspiration to all who read it to live according to their highest truth.
Since coming out three and a half years ago, I have traveled for two months in India and Nepal, completed a college course on creative non-fiction, written a full-length memoir and continued to stay clean and sober. I also teach weekly meditation classes in Colorado Springs under the guidance of Tibetan Buddhist nun, Venerable Tenzin Kacho.
I believe that The Narrow Way fits your agency’s criteria as a work that “sees the world through an uncommon lens” and that your passion and commitment to stories that inspire and promote positive change in the world make you a perfect choice for representation. As a result, I am sending this query exclusively to you.
The completed manuscript of The Narrow Way is approximately 62,000 words. A comprehensive book proposal, including a detailed market analysis and promotion strategy, is also available upon request.
Sincerely,
Chris Lemig
Query, The Nymph's Heart
Dear Agent X
Louisa Ramirez is immortal, forever nineteen and living in Jazz Age Miami. Some would consider it paradise, but for Louisa, it is more like paradise lost. Centuries have passed since her galleon washed up on these shores. She has seen too many loved ones grow old and die, and is tired of being a custodian to their memories. When Louisa falls in love with Anastasia, she is determined to free herself from her immortality, and live a single lifetime with the woman she loves.
Louisa would gladly sacrifice her immortality, but her life is not hers to give. She is bound to the nymph who once guarded the Fountain of Youth, and only she can release Louisa. In order to live a mortal life, Louisa must find the nymph, and return her to the Fountains’ waters. Standing in her way is Miami’s other immortal citizen, Juan Ponce De Leon. He has claimed the Fountain, and he will not relinquish his prize without a fight.
Complete at 97,000 words, THE NYMPH’S HEART is a Historical-Fantasy.
Louisa Ramirez is immortal, forever nineteen and living in Jazz Age Miami. Some would consider it paradise, but for Louisa, it is more like paradise lost. Centuries have passed since her galleon washed up on these shores. She has seen too many loved ones grow old and die, and is tired of being a custodian to their memories. When Louisa falls in love with Anastasia, she is determined to free herself from her immortality, and live a single lifetime with the woman she loves.
Louisa would gladly sacrifice her immortality, but her life is not hers to give. She is bound to the nymph who once guarded the Fountain of Youth, and only she can release Louisa. In order to live a mortal life, Louisa must find the nymph, and return her to the Fountains’ waters. Standing in her way is Miami’s other immortal citizen, Juan Ponce De Leon. He has claimed the Fountain, and he will not relinquish his prize without a fight.
Complete at 97,000 words, THE NYMPH’S HEART is a Historical-Fantasy.
Mar 8, 2011
Query- Helen Incriminates Herself
Title: Helen Incriminates Herself
Genre: cozy mystery
Most amateur sleuths get started by trying to clear themselves, or a loved one, of murder charges. Not Helen Binney. When her visiting nurse is murdered, Helen tries to prove she could have done it.
Helen is fed up with people thinking that her lupus, which recently forced her into retirement, makes her too frail and helpless to do anything. The police take one look at Helen, leaning on her cane, and write her off as a suspect, despite damning circumstances. The victim is a woman Helen had argued with on a daily basis. There were plenty of witnesses to Helen's saying she wanted to get rid of the nurse. And if that's not enough to make Helen a prime suspect, the victim was killed outside Helen's cottage, and Helen is the one who found the body.
In the course of trying to prove her own potential guilt, Helen finds evidence to suggest a friend was the killer. She can't believe he's guilty, but by then, it's obvious that she herself is the only other viable suspect.
Now Helen feels as helpless as everyone assumes she is. When the real killer threatens her, Helen has to prove just how strong she really is.
HELEN INCRIMINATES HERSELF is an eighty-thousand-word cozy mystery.
Genre: cozy mystery
Most amateur sleuths get started by trying to clear themselves, or a loved one, of murder charges. Not Helen Binney. When her visiting nurse is murdered, Helen tries to prove she could have done it.
Helen is fed up with people thinking that her lupus, which recently forced her into retirement, makes her too frail and helpless to do anything. The police take one look at Helen, leaning on her cane, and write her off as a suspect, despite damning circumstances. The victim is a woman Helen had argued with on a daily basis. There were plenty of witnesses to Helen's saying she wanted to get rid of the nurse. And if that's not enough to make Helen a prime suspect, the victim was killed outside Helen's cottage, and Helen is the one who found the body.
In the course of trying to prove her own potential guilt, Helen finds evidence to suggest a friend was the killer. She can't believe he's guilty, but by then, it's obvious that she herself is the only other viable suspect.
Now Helen feels as helpless as everyone assumes she is. When the real killer threatens her, Helen has to prove just how strong she really is.
HELEN INCRIMINATES HERSELF is an eighty-thousand-word cozy mystery.
QUERY- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE- 3rd Revision
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.Click here to read the second revision.
(same thing here- the word 'really' is meant to be in italics
Thanks for the help and feedback to this point- I really appreciate it.)
Ex-Army security expert Ryan Anderson thought it was just his bad luck when a careless truck rammed into his car. He had no idea how dangerous its cargo was- or who was behind it.
But when the men in the truck brutally attack him, Ryan retaliates with the help of beautiful attorney Jessica Webb. Turns out she's the smart one. The one who figures out that it's not just the Chechens they have to worry about, but the really bad man who paid them to ferry their illicit shipment to Seattle from half a world away.
Working together, Ryan and Jessica quickly realize it wasn't just a random accident, but part of a sinister scheme set in motion by the fall of the Soviet Union, decades ago. They uncover a bloody trail that leads from Washington to the Sudan to Moscow, when Jessica suddenly disappears. Turns out he's the brave one. The one who knows that unless he can find her, and stop the one man who started it all, they'll both be dead by first light. Ashes, actually.
REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-WORD thriller, first in a series. Readers of authors like Vince Flynn, Frederick Forsyth, and Daniel Silva might enjoy this book.
I have a BA in English from the University of Iowa. Like my protagonist Ryan Anderson, I am a 'security expert'. I own a business specializing in products for video surveillance.
Thank you for reviewing this query.
Mar 6, 2011
QUERY- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE- 2nd REVISION
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
(author's note- I could not make it work on this posting- the word "really" is meant to be in italics here)
Security expert Ryan Anderson thought it was just his bad luck when a careless truck rammed into his car. He had no idea how dangerous its cargo was- or who was behind it.
But when the men in the truck brutally attack him, Ryan retaliates with the help of beautiful attorney Jessica Webb. Turns out she's the smart one. The one who figures out that it's not just the Chechens they have to worry about, but the really bad men who paid them to ferry their illicit shipment from half a world away.
Jessica is drawn closer to Ryan, and they uncover a trail that leads from Seattle to Moscow. They quickly realize it wasn't just a random accident, but part of sinister scheme set in motion by the fall of the Soviet Union, decades ago.
And unless they find a way to stop the one man who started it all, they'll both be dead by first light. Ashes, actually.
REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-WORD thriller, first in a series. Readers of authors like Vince Flynn, Frederick Forsyth, and Daniel Silva might enjoy this book.
I have a BA in English from the University of Iowa. Like my protagonist Ryan Anderson, I am a 'security expert'. I own a business specializing in products for video surveillance.
Thank you for reviewing this query.
QUERY -- ACES
A British tennis star’s prolific career is derailed by her all-consuming love for the gifted American wunderkind. As her world spirals out of control, she must choose—phenomenal career or personal happiness?
World-famous tennis star Gemma Lennon wants to be recognized as one of the best in the sport, but without a grand slam, she risks going down as another celebrity-athlete who is more celebrity than athlete. After a devastating loss against Venus Williams at the French Open, she hits emotional bottom. It is during this low that Gemma falls for Andre Reyes, the young and gifted American businessman.
Gemma and Andre have built extraordinary careers on planning, discipline, and focus. But from their first encounter in Paris to subsequent meetings across the globe, logic and reason are replaced with youthful joy and passion. They find that overcoming their competitive and uncompromising natures in their relationship is further exacerbated when the worlds of competitive tennis and global consulting are threatened by the implications of their love affair. Now, Wimbledon looms. Gemma’s country and her sponsors expect their young star to win it all. She, however, is sinking under the mounting pressure. Meanwhile, Andre faces his own pressures to focus on his contractual commitment to the firm—his employer will do anything to assure Andre remains focused.
Their relationship destabilizes the grinding machine—competitive play, sponsors, employers, clients, media, and their own professional ambitions—until their worlds collide in a dramatic conclusion.
ACES (commercial fiction) is complete at 94,000 words. This is my first novel. I’ve included the first five pages below, and I can supply the entire manuscript if desired.
Thank you for your consideration.
World-famous tennis star Gemma Lennon wants to be recognized as one of the best in the sport, but without a grand slam, she risks going down as another celebrity-athlete who is more celebrity than athlete. After a devastating loss against Venus Williams at the French Open, she hits emotional bottom. It is during this low that Gemma falls for Andre Reyes, the young and gifted American businessman.
Gemma and Andre have built extraordinary careers on planning, discipline, and focus. But from their first encounter in Paris to subsequent meetings across the globe, logic and reason are replaced with youthful joy and passion. They find that overcoming their competitive and uncompromising natures in their relationship is further exacerbated when the worlds of competitive tennis and global consulting are threatened by the implications of their love affair. Now, Wimbledon looms. Gemma’s country and her sponsors expect their young star to win it all. She, however, is sinking under the mounting pressure. Meanwhile, Andre faces his own pressures to focus on his contractual commitment to the firm—his employer will do anything to assure Andre remains focused.
Their relationship destabilizes the grinding machine—competitive play, sponsors, employers, clients, media, and their own professional ambitions—until their worlds collide in a dramatic conclusion.
ACES (commercial fiction) is complete at 94,000 words. This is my first novel. I’ve included the first five pages below, and I can supply the entire manuscript if desired.
Thank you for your consideration.
Mar 3, 2011
QUERY- WORLD BOOK (2nd Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Another new version. I'm not sure if I should base future revisions off of this style or the previous matter-of-fact plot description. Is this one more exciting to read?
Dear Agent,
Everyone obeys the World Book. Everyone in the Kingdoms of the Land, Air, and Sea. If you don’t, you get thrown to the magistrate. And if you break the High Laws, you’re killed. Seth doesn’t mind, for the most part. As long as you follow the rules you stay safe and well fed with your family. It’s hard to miss freedom when you’ve never had it.
Kinessa doesn’t think so. She’s brave, rebellious, and angry with the World Book – everything Seth is not. She shows up in Seth’s backyard, claiming to have amnesia, but Seth is pretty sure she’s lying. Eventually, though, Kinessa’s crazy ideas about the World Book get him thinking. Why can’t he explore the woods and visit the beach? Why does he have to accept the World Book without questions? But when Kinessa changes into a sea serpent in front of him, Seth realizes that she has a broader plan then breaking a few rules.
Kinessa says she wants to start a revolution in the King’s City. Seth is hesitant to back her plan, but he knows he can’t go back to his previous life. A few people start to listen to her ideas, but when the authorities catch up to them Seth must rely on his own intelligence and courage to save them all.
WORLD BOOK is a completed 32,000 word fantasy for middle grade readers.
Click here to read the first revision.
Another new version. I'm not sure if I should base future revisions off of this style or the previous matter-of-fact plot description. Is this one more exciting to read?
Dear Agent,
Everyone obeys the World Book. Everyone in the Kingdoms of the Land, Air, and Sea. If you don’t, you get thrown to the magistrate. And if you break the High Laws, you’re killed. Seth doesn’t mind, for the most part. As long as you follow the rules you stay safe and well fed with your family. It’s hard to miss freedom when you’ve never had it.
Kinessa doesn’t think so. She’s brave, rebellious, and angry with the World Book – everything Seth is not. She shows up in Seth’s backyard, claiming to have amnesia, but Seth is pretty sure she’s lying. Eventually, though, Kinessa’s crazy ideas about the World Book get him thinking. Why can’t he explore the woods and visit the beach? Why does he have to accept the World Book without questions? But when Kinessa changes into a sea serpent in front of him, Seth realizes that she has a broader plan then breaking a few rules.
Kinessa says she wants to start a revolution in the King’s City. Seth is hesitant to back her plan, but he knows he can’t go back to his previous life. A few people start to listen to her ideas, but when the authorities catch up to them Seth must rely on his own intelligence and courage to save them all.
WORLD BOOK is a completed 32,000 word fantasy for middle grade readers.
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