Query: The Silver Strand (second revision)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.


Dear Agent,

The Silver Strand is a middle grade, fantasy adventure complete at 55,000 words.  The novel is based in the northern coast of New South Wales, Australia and in the inner earth city of Agartha.  It will appeal to readers who laugh out loud at Morris Gleitzman's Toad Rage, or those who love mythical creatures, secret underground worlds, high-tech flying devices and action adventures like Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl.

When thirteen year old Isabelle Tresdon wishes her chunky, silver strand of hair never sprouted, it tarnishes and withers away, along with her imagination.  Turns out the lock is her source of inner magic and in five days time it will die, and so will she.  To save her strand, she must undertake three tests with the help of two Masterminds.  In exchange, she agrees to deliver a crystal bracelet encoded with information.

Trouble is, these two tricksters manipulate energy using their minds and their idea of tests equals Isabelle's worst nightmare.  First they transform her into a toad until she masters tapping into her animal instincts.  Sure, toad warts aren't pretty.  But when they prickle, she best get her poison glands ready, unless she wants to be gobbled by a snake or squished by her father's spade.  Second, she stands up to a dragon that threatens to roast her on a spit if she fails to draw his portrait. 

After defying death, Isabelle thinks her last test will be a breeze until she and one of her companions are accused of being traitors and imprisoned.  All along, Isabelle is used a pawn in the Masterminds' game to expose corruption within the ranks of Agartha's rulers.  To escape, she must muster what remains of her inner magic and battle powerful enemies who break all the rules to seize the bracelet and protect their secrets.  If Isabelle's already good as dead, she may as well go down fighting.

Thank you for your time and consideration. 

Louisa Clarkson

Query: The Narrow Way

Dear (Agent's Name),

In 2007, after twenty years of addiction, depression and attempted suicides, I finally found the courage to come out to family and friends as being gay. This profound inner shift was the spark for a spiritual revolution that would open my eyes to the teachings of Buddhism and lead me all the way to a life changing pilgrimage in India and Nepal.

Part psychological mystery, part spiritual adventure story, The Narrow Way: A Memoir of Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha traces my life from the confines of the closet and hopeless addiction, all the way through an extraordinary transformation into a man who has finally learned to love himself.

I hope that the book I have written about this journey will not only be a guide for the people and families who are working through the coming out process but also a source of comfort and support for the millions who suffer the pain of addiction and an inspiration to all who read it to live according to their highest truth.

Since coming out three and a half years ago, I have traveled for two months in India and Nepal, completed a college course on creative non-fiction, written a full-length memoir and continued to stay clean and sober. I also teach weekly meditation classes in Colorado Springs under the guidance of Tibetan Buddhist nun, Venerable Tenzin Kacho.

I believe that The Narrow Way fits your agency’s criteria as a work that “sees the world through an uncommon lens” and that your passion and commitment to stories that inspire and promote positive change in the world make you a perfect choice for representation. As a result, I am sending this query exclusively to you.

The completed manuscript of The Narrow Way is approximately 62,000 words. A comprehensive book proposal, including a detailed market analysis and promotion strategy, is also available upon request.


Sincerely,


Chris Lemig

Query, The Nymph's Heart

Dear Agent X

Louisa Ramirez is immortal, forever nineteen and living in Jazz Age Miami. Some would consider it paradise, but for Louisa, it is more like paradise lost. Centuries have passed since her galleon washed up on these shores. She has seen too many loved ones grow old and die, and is tired of being a custodian to their memories. When Louisa falls in love with Anastasia, she is determined to free herself from her immortality, and live a single lifetime with the woman she loves.

Louisa would gladly sacrifice her immortality, but her life is not hers to give. She is bound to the nymph who once guarded the Fountain of Youth, and only she can release Louisa. In order to live a mortal life, Louisa must find the nymph, and return her to the Fountains’ waters. Standing in her way is Miami’s other immortal citizen, Juan Ponce De Leon. He has claimed the Fountain, and he will not relinquish his prize without a fight.

Complete at 97,000 words, THE NYMPH’S HEART is a Historical-Fantasy.

Query- Helen Incriminates Herself

Title: Helen Incriminates Herself
Genre: cozy mystery

Most amateur sleuths get started by trying to clear themselves, or a loved one, of murder charges. Not Helen Binney. When her visiting nurse is murdered, Helen tries to prove she could have done it.

Helen is fed up with people thinking that her lupus, which recently forced her into retirement, makes her too frail and helpless to do anything. The police take one look at Helen, leaning on her cane, and write her off as a suspect, despite damning circumstances. The victim is a woman Helen had argued with on a daily basis. There were plenty of witnesses to Helen's saying she wanted to get rid of the nurse. And if that's not enough to make Helen a prime suspect, the victim was killed outside Helen's cottage, and Helen is the one who found the body.

In the course of trying to prove her own potential guilt, Helen finds evidence to suggest a friend was the killer. She can't believe he's guilty, but by then, it's obvious that she herself is the only other viable suspect.

Now Helen feels as helpless as everyone assumes she is. When the real killer threatens her, Helen has to prove just how strong she really is.

HELEN INCRIMINATES HERSELF is an eighty-thousand-word cozy mystery.

QUERY- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE- 3rd Revision

Click here to read the original query.

Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.

(same thing here- the word 'really' is meant to be in italics

Thanks for the help and feedback to this point- I really appreciate it.)

Ex-Army security expert Ryan Anderson thought it was just his bad luck when a careless truck rammed into his car. He had no idea how dangerous its cargo was- or who was behind it.

But when the men in the truck brutally attack him, Ryan retaliates with the help of beautiful attorney Jessica Webb. Turns out she's the smart one. The one who figures out that it's not just the Chechens they have to worry about, but the really bad man who paid them to ferry their illicit shipment to Seattle from half a world away.

Working together, Ryan and Jessica quickly realize it wasn't just a random accident, but part of a sinister scheme set in motion by the fall of the Soviet Union, decades ago. They uncover a bloody trail that leads from Washington to the Sudan to Moscow, when Jessica suddenly disappears. Turns out he's the brave one. The one who knows that unless he can find her, and stop the one man who started it all, they'll both be dead by first light. Ashes, actually.

REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-WORD thriller, first in a series. Readers of authors like Vince Flynn, Frederick Forsyth, and Daniel Silva might enjoy this book.

I have a BA in English from the University of Iowa. Like my protagonist Ryan Anderson, I am a 'security expert'. I own a business specializing in products for video surveillance.

Thank you for reviewing this query.

QUERY- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE- 2nd REVISION

Click here to read the original query.

Click here to read the first revision.

(author's note- I could not make it work on this posting- the word "really" is meant to be in italics here)

Security expert Ryan Anderson thought it was just his bad luck when a careless truck rammed into his car. He had no idea how dangerous its cargo was- or who was behind it.

But when the men in the truck brutally attack him, Ryan retaliates with the help of beautiful attorney Jessica Webb. Turns out she's the smart one. The one who figures out that it's not just the Chechens they have to worry about, but the really bad men who paid them to ferry their illicit shipment from half a world away.

Jessica is drawn closer to Ryan, and they uncover a trail that leads from Seattle to Moscow. They quickly realize it wasn't just a random accident, but part of sinister scheme set in motion by the fall of the Soviet Union, decades ago.

And unless they find a way to stop the one man who started it all, they'll both be dead by first light. Ashes, actually.

REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-WORD thriller, first in a series. Readers of authors like Vince Flynn, Frederick Forsyth, and Daniel Silva might enjoy this book.

I have a BA in English from the University of Iowa. Like my protagonist Ryan Anderson, I am a 'security expert'. I own a business specializing in products for video surveillance.

Thank you for reviewing this query.

QUERY -- ACES

A British tennis star’s prolific career is derailed by her all-consuming love for the gifted American wunderkind. As her world spirals out of control, she must choose—phenomenal career or personal happiness?

World-famous tennis star Gemma Lennon wants to be recognized as one of the best in the sport, but without a grand slam, she risks going down as another celebrity-athlete who is more celebrity than athlete. After a devastating loss against Venus Williams at the French Open, she hits emotional bottom. It is during this low that Gemma falls for Andre Reyes, the young and gifted American businessman.

Gemma and Andre have built extraordinary careers on planning, discipline, and focus. But from their first encounter in Paris to subsequent meetings across the globe, logic and reason are replaced with youthful joy and passion. They find that overcoming their competitive and uncompromising natures in their relationship is further exacerbated when the worlds of competitive tennis and global consulting are threatened by the implications of their love affair. Now, Wimbledon looms. Gemma’s country and her sponsors expect their young star to win it all. She, however, is sinking under the mounting pressure. Meanwhile, Andre faces his own pressures to focus on his contractual commitment to the firm—his employer will do anything to assure Andre remains focused.

Their relationship destabilizes the grinding machine—competitive play, sponsors, employers, clients, media, and their own professional ambitions—until their worlds collide in a dramatic conclusion.

ACES (commercial fiction) is complete at 94,000 words. This is my first novel. I’ve included the first five pages below, and I can supply the entire manuscript if desired.

Thank you for your consideration.

QUERY- WORLD BOOK (2nd Revision)

Click here to read the original query.

Click here to read the first revision.

Another new version. I'm not sure if I should base future revisions off of this style or the previous matter-of-fact plot description. Is this one more exciting to read?


Dear Agent,

Everyone obeys the World Book. Everyone in the Kingdoms of the Land, Air, and Sea. If you don’t, you get thrown to the magistrate. And if you break the High Laws, you’re killed. Seth doesn’t mind, for the most part. As long as you follow the rules you stay safe and well fed with your family. It’s hard to miss freedom when you’ve never had it.

Kinessa doesn’t think so. She’s brave, rebellious, and angry with the World Book – everything Seth is not. She shows up in Seth’s backyard, claiming to have amnesia, but Seth is pretty sure she’s lying. Eventually, though, Kinessa’s crazy ideas about the World Book get him thinking. Why can’t he explore the woods and visit the beach? Why does he have to accept the World Book without questions? But when Kinessa changes into a sea serpent in front of him, Seth realizes that she has a broader plan then breaking a few rules.

Kinessa says she wants to start a revolution in the King’s City. Seth is hesitant to back her plan, but he knows he can’t go back to his previous life. A few people start to listen to her ideas, but when the authorities catch up to them Seth must rely on his own intelligence and courage to save them all.

WORLD BOOK is a completed 32,000 word fantasy for middle grade readers.

QUERY- A HUMAN ELEMENT (3rd revision) Commercial Fiction

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.


Thank you for all your advice!

Dear Agent,

Laura Armstrong’s special mind powers can’t save her loved ones from being murdered and she must unravel her past to face the killer – only to discover they are bonded by an explosive destiny that slammed into the Earth 30 years ago.

A grief-stricken Laura returns home seeking answers. She feels connected to the lake there where a meteorite crashed the night she was conceived – the same night Ben Fieldstone’s parents were crushed to death under it. Laura finds him at the lake searching for answers too. Drawn to one another, Ben and Laura discover what fell from the sky long ago held more than just rock and that they are connected by fate. When Laura’s true identity is revealed, they find that the killer who wants her dead is part of their future spanning two worlds. With the killer closing in, Laura fears she must use her powers and fight him alone or Ben will die too like so many others she loved. But if they survive, she fears she can’t give her heart to Ben now that he knows who – and what – she really is.

I am seeking representation of A HUMAN ELEMENT, a 120,000-word suspense novel. I would appreciate the opportunity to send you the entire manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Query-The Eye of Tanúb (revised)

Click here to read the original query.

Thrust into a world he never knew was real, thirteen year old Zach Marriott must overcome the scorn of his sister, the physical appetites of his chubby body, and a brutally savage Warlord.

In THE EYE OF TANÚB, an 83,000 word YA fantasy, Zach is magically drawn into his favorite online computer game, Warlord. He learns he is destined take the place of the last living Ancient of that exhilarating, deadly world. To return home, he must complete the impossible quest to obtain the Eye of Tanúb, but he's not sure he wants to go home. In the game he is strong, powerful and revered. At home . . . not so much. In the end, he must confront his worst enemies: his pudgy body, his bratty sister who accidentally comes along for the ride and attracts misfortune at every turn, and ultimately, his desire to return home.

My book combines the online gaming culture of our youth today with the traditional conventions of a young adult fantasy novel. I graduated from the Longridge Writer's Course in December 2010, am a member of the League of Utah Writers, and write weekly on my blog, A Writer's Reality.

Thank you so much for taking the time to consider my query. I look forward to hearing from you.

Query-The Eye of Tanúb

Thrust into a world he never knew was real, a young, chubby teen must overcome the scorn of his sister, his physical appetites, and the brutally savage Warlord.

In this 83,000 word YA fantasy, thirteen year old Zach Marriott is magically drawn into his favorite online computer game, Warlord, and learns he is destined take the place of the last living Ancient of that exhilarating, deadly world. To return home, he must complete the impossible quest to obtain the Eye of Tanúb, but why would he want to go home? In the game he is strong, powerful and revered. In the end, he must confront his worst enemies: his pudgy body, his bratty sister who accidentally comes along for the ride, and ultimately, the desire to return home.

I wrote The Eye of Tanúb trying to imagine what it would be like to be pulled into a modern computer game like World of Warcraft or Halo. My book combines the online gaming culture of our youth today with the traditional conventions of a young adult fantasy novel. I graduated from the Longridge Writer's Course in December 2010, am a member of the League of Utah Writers, and write weekly on my blog, A Writer's Reality.

Thank you so much for taking the time to consider my query. I look forward to hearing from you.

Melissa J Cunningham
www.melissajcunningham.blogspot.com

QUERY- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE- 1st Revision

Click here to read the original query.

Ryan Anderson, salesman in a hurry to deliver a critical proposal, turns livid when a careless truck driver backs into his BMW, mangling it.

He got even more angry when the driver, a stammering foreigner, gave him a bad phone number, and then tried to ditch him. So Ryan went after him, determined that the driver was going to fix his car.

But Ryan wouldn't have gone after him, if he knew where the man was from. Or what was in the truck. Or that the driver would quickly turn and go after him, and the beautiful young attorney he hooks up with later that night.

She was just supposed to be a one-night stand- until Jessica Webb saves him from men with foot-long knives who attack them at his house. Turns out she's the smart one. The one who quickly figures out it's not just the Chechens they have to worry about, but the really bad guys who paid them to ferry their illicit cargo. And unless they find a way to stop the second group, they'll both be dead by Monday morning.

Ryan and Jessica race against the clock in Seattle as they uncover a plan created by competing factions of Chechen militants and al-Qaeda to incite an all-out war between their two most hated enemies, the United States and Russia.

REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-WORD thriller, with elements of political intrigue and spy craft. Readers of authors like Vince Flynn, Frederick Forsyth, Daniel Silva, and David Morrell might enjoy this book.

I have a BA in English from the University of Iowa. Like my protagonist Ryan Anderson, I am a 'security expert'. I own a business specializing in products for video surveillance.

Thank you for reviewing this query.

QUERY – SOLDIERS OF EARTH: NEPHILIM WARS (2nd revision)

Click here to read the original query.

Click here to read the first revision.

I submitted my first two revisions a while ago (under the title Nephilim Wars), and got some really good feedback. I’ve spent a while working on this as well as changing and adding to my story. I have also spent some time getting a better understanding of how to present my novel. Thanks again for all the feedback!

Dear [Agent name],

Captain Nolan Fields of the United States Marine Core is the only survivor of his last mission. His reward? Command of the fabled Alpha Company Recon Marines. Their first mission together is security for negotiations between Earth and a distant planet, Aztlan. Through an ancient portal connecting our two planets knights and wizards have traveled to Earth, seeking help.
But the enemy has followed them to Earth. They attack, changing two of Captain Fields’ men into Neila monsters and abducting another. Determined to save his men Captain Fields and his marines travel to Aztlan.
As they search the foreign landscape they find a human castle besieged by the grey Nephilim aliens. This technologically advanced race seeks the destruction of humanity whether they are from Aztlan or Earth. Captain Fields and his marines intervene saving the castle and starting a war.
But the very humans Captain Fields seeks to help betray them and the Nephilim capture the portal back to Earth. Now, Captain Fields must fight to secure the way home. But his biggest challenge is coming to terms with the fact that he cannot bring all him men home alive.
Soldiers of Earth: Nephilim Wars is the first of a completed Science Fiction / Fantasy trilogy at 90,000 words. I have not been published before.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes,

QUERY - WORLD BOOK (Revised)

Click here to read the original query.

Dear Agent,

Seth was good at following the rules. He obeyed his parents, performed his nightly vows, and observed the laws in the World Book with pride – until he met Kinessa.

The Kingdoms of the Land, Air, and Sea follow the World Book – a list of oppressive laws designed to keep peace throughout the Kingdoms. Kinessa, a thirteen-year-old stranger claiming to have amnesia, believes these laws need to change. When Seth’s family shelters Kinessa, her blatant disregard for the World Book initially frightens Seth, but he is intrigued by her rebellious ideas. For the first time he dares to explore the woods in his backyard and visit the ocean, but he faints from shock when Kinessa reveals she’s from the Kingdom of the Sea by changing into a sea serpent.

Kinessa tells Seth that she came to the land, a crime punishable by death, to spy on a secret meeting between the Kings and their heirs. Seth follows her to the meeting, but grows skeptical of her plan when she decides to convince the Crown Prince of the Air to join their side. The prince’s bloodthirsty nature leads to a deadly confrontation, and they barely escape with their lives. Kinessa comes up with another reckless plan and decides to start a revolution in the King’s City of the land. A few people begin to listen to their ideas, but when the Crown Prince catches up to them Seth must rely on his own intelligence and courage to save them all.

WORLD BOOK is a completed 32,000 word fantasy for middle grade readers. I have one published short story in Byline Magazine.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Query- Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost

When Elizabeth "Lizzie" Brogan returns home from an extended trip, her Aunt Annie May greets her with a request. She asks Lizzie to help her get to the stage door of The Belasco Theatre by first call to meet her true love, Dan "Curly" O'Brien. This should be a simple task, but for the fact that Annie, once a successful musical star on Broadway, has been dead for twenty-seven years.

Annie lives in a giant tramp steamer trunk, the same trunk Lizzie takes on her travels for eight years. At the end of their last trip, Lizzie learns it is not only the ghost of Annie May and the other ghosts of Broadway who need her help, it is also her living love-ones. 

The predictable life Lizzie left behind has vanished, she must learn to face the failures of her past, help Annie May and her mother, and confront her true feelings for James, her childhood sweetheart.

A love story of parallel worlds, Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost, a paranormal romance complete at 80,000 words, attempts to pair two lovers in our world and reunite two lost lovers in the afterworld.

I participated in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  blog fest, and wanted to take this opportunity to follow up with my query. I read in your post on Guide To Literary Agents, that you are interested in …" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

What sets Lizzie apart is the theme of the New York City Broadway stage. Based on a true story, The Ghosts of Broadway, by Robert Viagas, June 10, 2005, written for Playbill.com, the afterworld in Lizzie takes place at the landmark Belasco Theatre and features the ghost of David Belasco, The Bishop of Broadway himself. It offers a glimpse of an afterworld where the show is always in rehearsal and the lights never go out.   

The first xxxxxxxxx follow. Thank you for your consideration.  

Repectfully,

Florence Fois

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dark corners of the attic became my secret playground. Too young to play with my siblings, I dug through their possessions, the rows of boxes filled with my sister's and brother's childhood keepsakes, an old prom dress that Moira had worn, my brother Michael's football uniform. I imagined a dozen stories of them while I played with their trophies, and spent hours sorting their photographs. None could compare to the treasures held in the giant trunk and no stories as fantastic as those of my Aunt Annie May. 

The first time I saw her, was a cold day in winter that trapped us in the house, and while outside snow fell in sheets, and wind and ice assaulted the windowpanes, inside Esther baked me chocolate fudge brownies, and I planned a day of playing dress-up. I was eight, went in search of my sister's pompoms, and spent most of the morning in the corner of the attic pretending to be a cheerleader. I heard my mother coming up the stairs and hid behind a row of boxes.

She was talking to the front of the trunk, the way you talk to a person across the table at breakfast. "This weather is about to drive me mad." If there was another person in the room, I didn't hear them. I could only hear my mother's voice. "Aye sister, stay out of the blasted fog."

After my mother left, I walked to the opposite corner, where the giant tramp steamer trunk sat, nestled under the cross beams of the roof. I thought I saw her smile and talked to her. "Hello?"

A clear image of a woman turned and waved, "Hello yourself, Elizabeth."

I remember I wasn't afraid, only excited that I had seen her at last. "Don't run away, Aunt Annie. I'm Elizabeth, your niece. I'm sure mom told you about me."

I looked up and she was perched on one of the rafters. "She did at that, child."

"You're a ghost?"

"Sorry to say, yes I am." And in an instant, the smoke curled downward into the trunk and vanished.

"Aunt Annie?" She was gone.

QUERY- REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE

What if, purely by accident, a young man stumbles into a terrorist plot that was set in motion decades ago by the fall of the Soviet Union?

REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is an 84,000-word thriller, with elements of political intrigue and spy craft. Readers of authors like Frederick Forsyth, Daniel Silva, Vince Flynn, and David Morrell's spy fiction might enjoy this book.

Ryan Anderson, salesman in a hurry, turns livid when when a careless semi-truck driver backs into his BMW, mangling it.

He got even more angry when the driver gave him a bad phone number, and then tried to ditch him. So Ryan went after him, determined that the driver was going to pay to fix his car.

But Ryan wouldn't have gone after the driver, if he knew where the man was from. Or what was in the truck. Or that the driver would quickly turn and go after him, and the beautiful young attorney he enlists for help.

Ryan and Jessica Web race against the clock in Seattle as they learn of a plan created by factions of Chechen militants and al-Qaeda to incite an all-out war between their two most hated enemies, the United States and Russia.

REVERSAL OF PROVIDENCE is the first in a planned series featuring the duo of Jessica Webb and Ryan Anderson. I have completed the outline for the second book, REFUSAL TO COMPLY. My goal is to create a modern, intelligent spy couple's adventures.

I have a BA in English literature from the University of Iowa. Like my protagonist Ryan Anderson, I am a 'security expert'. I own a manufacturer rep business specializing in security products for video surveillance, and this allows me to blend in some technical detail and insight on the future of a world where someone is always watching.

Thank you very much for reviewing this query.
Mark D. Niehus
mdniehus@gmail.com
206-380-0082

COMMERCIAL FICTION QUERY: A HUMAN ELEMENT (3rd version)

Click here to read the original query.

Click here to read the first revision.

Dear Agent,

Laura can’t escape death. Her parents were burned alive, her best friend’s throat was ripped out and her boss’s brains were blown out across her face. And she doesn’t know why. She fears the killer is the one who chases her in nightmares – and she must stop him or be next.

The mystery could be connected to the meteorite that hit her hometown lake almost thirty years ago. Ben Fieldstone thinks so. He was there the night his parents were crushed under it. Laura finds him when she returns home to search the lake for answers. Drawn to one another they discover they are bound by fate, as Laura’s true identity is revealed. Together, they unravel her past to discover the man who wants her dead is part of a destiny she never could have imagined. With the killer closing in, Laura realizes she must fight him alone to save them both. But if they survive, she fears she can’t give her heart to Ben now that he knows who she really is.

I am seeking representation of A HUMAN ELEMENT, a 120,000-word suspense novel. I would appreciate the opportunity to send you the entire manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Query- Assassin's Redemption REv. 3

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

Dear Agent,

Death goes by many names, but one of them is Etienne de Villaine.

An angelic assassin by profession, Etienne and his wife Nel run a business hunting demons, fallen angels, and mortal scum who escape human justice. Using guns, knives, and poisons they administer the only effective solution to the vermin of the world—death. But when another assassin murders the leaders of Israel, Iran, Turkmenistan, and the Ukraine, Etienne must shift from assassin to savior and hunt down the killer in order to avoid a world war.

Etienne sets a trap using the president of Russia as bait, but the mysterious assassin anticipates the ambush. While the president survives, Nel is injured and the assassin escapes. However, the assassin’s identity is no longer a mystery. His name is Munkar, Etienne’s brother who went insane with bloodlust a thousand years ago.

Etienne and Nel return to their Chicago home, so Nel can recover, but Munkar follows them, intent on revenge. Etienne stumbles on Munkar while he lunches at a restaurant and tries to talk sense to him, but Munkar responds by vowing to start Armageddon and kill Etienne. His attempt to kill Etienne fails, but that only drives him to expand his worldwide killing spree. Etienne realizes Munk’s massacres are meant to draw him out, daring him to a death duel. But the final nail into the coffin of motivation comes when Munk threatens Nel. Etienne must head off world annihilation and protect Nel, but stopping his brother may cost one of them their souls.

I am seeking representation for my 91,000 word supernatural thriller, ASSASSIN’S REDEMPTION. Professionally, I am a molecular biologist employed by a biotechnology company. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely yours,

QUERY- WORLD BOOK

Dear Agent,

Seth was good at following the rules. He obeyed his parents, performed his nightly vows, and observed the laws in the World Book with pride – until he met Kinessa.

Seth’s world is turned upside down as Kinessa challenges him to question everything he believes in. He neglects his readings, plays on the beach and explores the woods in his backyard for the first time. Eventually Kinessa leaves, but she confronts him with a choice – go back to your previous life or come with me.

The friends embark on an adventure to change the three Kingdoms. But as Seth follows Kinessa on her quest to destroy the World Book he soon learns that change is never as easy as it seems.

World Book is a completed 32,000 word fantasy for middle grade readers. I have one published short story in Byline Magazine.

Thank you for your time and consideration. If you are interested feel free to contact me by phone or email.

Sincerely,

Jessica

-----

Anyone willing to read the first few pages? I'll be glad to post them here.

COMMERCIAL FICTION QUERY: A HUMAN ELEMENT (2ND VERSION)

Click here to read the original query.

Dear Agent,

At 26 Laura Armstrong can’t escape death. Her parents were burned alive, her best friend’s throat was ripped out and her boss’s head was blown off in her lap. And she doesn’t know why. Could the evil man who chases her in nightmares be the killer? Then there’s the man in black who watches her from afar. His mysterious notes tell her she must use her special powers to save herself as she is next, leaving Laura with more questions than answers.

Could it all be connected to the meteor that hit her hometown lake nearly 30 years ago? Ben Fieldstone thinks so. He was there the night his parents were crushed under it. Laura finds him there when she visits the lake, searching for answers. Drawn to one another, they discover they are bound by fate, confirmed by the man in black who reveals Laura’s true identity and the secret about the meteor – and that the man who wants her dead is part of her destiny too.

With the killer closing in fast, Laura decides she must fight him alone using her special powers to save them. But if they survive can destiny redirect itself and can Laura give her heart to Ben if he knows what she really is?

I am seeking representation of my first novel, A HUMAN ELEMENT, a 120,000-word commercial mainstream dark novel. I would appreciate the opportunity to send you the entire manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.