I want to say that my biggest concern with my query is over editing, i.e Cutting too much information from the original.
To the desk of (agent),
Some people are not meant for the mortal world. Ianna’s stagnant life takes quite a twist when she learns the hard lesson that heartbreak isn’t the only possible nasty side effect when you fall in love, at least not when you fall in love with a vampire. Fatal attraction has taken on an entirely new meaning.
Ianna loses her mortality when a dark coven of vampires tracks her down in a gruesome attack. Ianna’s death brings her new life as a New Blood, a freshly turned vampire. For survival of all that she loves, Ianna must learn to control her overwhelming carnality along with her crippling visions from her previous life as a powerful gypsy.
After extensive research, I believe that you and the (***) agency could be an excellent match for my completed 120,000 word Dark Romantic Fantasy, NEW BLOOD. Also, I have a website available for more information. Thank you for all of your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
Apr 27, 2010
Apr 26, 2010
Query- THE DRIFTER
Dear Agent,
For sixteen-year-old Pip, knowing everyone’s time of death is growing tiresome. Especially when she can’t stop it. However When a boy named Romeo hits her with his motorcycle she suddenly loses her curse.
Her past a blur and her curse gone, Pip finally sees how it is to be normal and to fall in love. But when Romeo’s father discovers she is a drifter, she is forced to run, Romeo by her side after his father’s last warning. Yet Pip’s recurring hallucinations of the dead keep coming and she is desperate to tell Romeo of her lost curse. Except he would never believe her. Until the night they plan their escape, her curse returns...and Romeo has only one hour left to live.
I’m seeking representation for THE DRIFTER, a 55,000-word paranormal romance novel for young adults. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
A.K.
For sixteen-year-old Pip, knowing everyone’s time of death is growing tiresome. Especially when she can’t stop it. However When a boy named Romeo hits her with his motorcycle she suddenly loses her curse.
Her past a blur and her curse gone, Pip finally sees how it is to be normal and to fall in love. But when Romeo’s father discovers she is a drifter, she is forced to run, Romeo by her side after his father’s last warning. Yet Pip’s recurring hallucinations of the dead keep coming and she is desperate to tell Romeo of her lost curse. Except he would never believe her. Until the night they plan their escape, her curse returns...and Romeo has only one hour left to live.
I’m seeking representation for THE DRIFTER, a 55,000-word paranormal romance novel for young adults. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
A.K.
Query- The History of the Tie Dye Bra and Other Lessons in Me (Revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent:
Jaclyn Witt is going to live the rest of her life with the man of her dreams. If only he’d ask her out and her karma would cooperate. The History of the Tie Dye Bra and Other Lessons in Me chronicles the coming-of-age of quirky heroine Jackie Witt, who navigates adolescence with off-beat humor and three unlikely best friends.
There is a reason that Chelsea’s mom nicknamed Jackie, Chelsea, Frankie and Joe
“a strange little family.” They are inseparable, committed to each other despite their differences. Their friendship provides something each of them craves.
For Jackie, it’s an appreciation of her unique outlook on life, from her obsession with game shows, to her infamous drunk dancing episodes, and even for her quest to find the perfect man through an ever-growing list of boyfriend rules. For Frankie, it means protection from the hippie parents who see her love of beef and opposition to marijuana use as a sign of their failure. For Chelsea, it’s an understanding of the vulnerability behind the flirt who declares premarital sex as her college major to finagle free drinks in bars. But what about Joe? Is it about getting attention that was missing in a household focused on his brother’s drug addiction? Or is there something more to Joe’s dedication to his strange little family?
The story takes us from childhood exploits to the end of college, where Jackie finally meets her soul mate. When her friends’ meddling jeopardizes their budding romance, Jackie makes a decision that threatens to destroy her strange little family. So, will the funny foursome go their separate ways, or prevail to protect each other’s frailties and friendship?
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a 50,000-word, humorous YA romance that uses Rachel’s witty narrative to tear at the heart and mend the soul. I read that you were an agent with an interest in YA and romance novels who welcomes first-time authors with a unique voice and humorous perspective, which would make you the perfect fit for this book.
Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my work. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
LL
--------
Thanks to all the great comments I got yesterday, I was able to improve my query. Here's revision #1. Any thoughts?
PS Thanks everyone and especially Rick Daley for this great site!
Dear Agent:
Jaclyn Witt is going to live the rest of her life with the man of her dreams. If only he’d ask her out and her karma would cooperate. The History of the Tie Dye Bra and Other Lessons in Me chronicles the coming-of-age of quirky heroine Jackie Witt, who navigates adolescence with off-beat humor and three unlikely best friends.
There is a reason that Chelsea’s mom nicknamed Jackie, Chelsea, Frankie and Joe
“a strange little family.” They are inseparable, committed to each other despite their differences. Their friendship provides something each of them craves.
For Jackie, it’s an appreciation of her unique outlook on life, from her obsession with game shows, to her infamous drunk dancing episodes, and even for her quest to find the perfect man through an ever-growing list of boyfriend rules. For Frankie, it means protection from the hippie parents who see her love of beef and opposition to marijuana use as a sign of their failure. For Chelsea, it’s an understanding of the vulnerability behind the flirt who declares premarital sex as her college major to finagle free drinks in bars. But what about Joe? Is it about getting attention that was missing in a household focused on his brother’s drug addiction? Or is there something more to Joe’s dedication to his strange little family?
The story takes us from childhood exploits to the end of college, where Jackie finally meets her soul mate. When her friends’ meddling jeopardizes their budding romance, Jackie makes a decision that threatens to destroy her strange little family. So, will the funny foursome go their separate ways, or prevail to protect each other’s frailties and friendship?
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a 50,000-word, humorous YA romance that uses Rachel’s witty narrative to tear at the heart and mend the soul. I read that you were an agent with an interest in YA and romance novels who welcomes first-time authors with a unique voice and humorous perspective, which would make you the perfect fit for this book.
Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my work. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
LL
--------
Thanks to all the great comments I got yesterday, I was able to improve my query. Here's revision #1. Any thoughts?
PS Thanks everyone and especially Rick Daley for this great site!
Apr 25, 2010
Query- History of the Tie Dye Bra
Dear Agent:
Jaclyn Witt is going to live the rest of her life with the man of her dreams. If only he’d cooperate and her three best friends would butt out. The History of the Tie Dye Bra and Other Lessons in Me chronicles the coming-of-age of quirky heroine Jackie Witt, who navigates the awkwardness of adolescence with a sense of humor and three inseparable and unlikely best friends.
Jackie, Francine, Chelsie and Joe grew up in each other's basements and backyards, laughing their way through everything from drunk dancing dilemmas to disastrous first loves. Her off-beat journey takes her to the end of her college days, where her dream romance with “the one” threatens to dismember her “strange little family.” So, do the funny foursome go their separate ways or prevail to protect each other’s frailties and friendship?
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a 50,000-word, humorous YA romance that uses the protagonist's witty narrative to tear at the heart and mend the soul.
I read that you were an agent with an interest in YA and romance novels who welcomes first-time authors with a unique voice and humorous perspective, which would make you the perfect fit for this book.
If you feel like History of the Tie Dye Bra is a project worthy of your time, I would love to forward a synopsis or sample chapters. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
LL
NOTE: I am considering replacing the third paragraph with a risky alternative, only because it parallels the humor of the book:
"And more importantly, will Ms. Agent be interested enough to consider representing this first novel? After all, the closest I’ve ever come to having anything published is my annual Christmas letter. While quite popular around the neighborhood, it certainly doesn’t complete a resume. But I digress. If I could just get her to read it, she’d find that History of the Tie Dye Bra is a 50,000-word, humorous YA romance that uses Jackie’s witty narrative to tear at the heart and mend the soul."
I am leaning towards the first one as it's obviously more professional. Opinions?
Jaclyn Witt is going to live the rest of her life with the man of her dreams. If only he’d cooperate and her three best friends would butt out. The History of the Tie Dye Bra and Other Lessons in Me chronicles the coming-of-age of quirky heroine Jackie Witt, who navigates the awkwardness of adolescence with a sense of humor and three inseparable and unlikely best friends.
Jackie, Francine, Chelsie and Joe grew up in each other's basements and backyards, laughing their way through everything from drunk dancing dilemmas to disastrous first loves. Her off-beat journey takes her to the end of her college days, where her dream romance with “the one” threatens to dismember her “strange little family.” So, do the funny foursome go their separate ways or prevail to protect each other’s frailties and friendship?
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a 50,000-word, humorous YA romance that uses the protagonist's witty narrative to tear at the heart and mend the soul.
I read that you were an agent with an interest in YA and romance novels who welcomes first-time authors with a unique voice and humorous perspective, which would make you the perfect fit for this book.
If you feel like History of the Tie Dye Bra is a project worthy of your time, I would love to forward a synopsis or sample chapters. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
LL
NOTE: I am considering replacing the third paragraph with a risky alternative, only because it parallels the humor of the book:
"And more importantly, will Ms. Agent be interested enough to consider representing this first novel? After all, the closest I’ve ever come to having anything published is my annual Christmas letter. While quite popular around the neighborhood, it certainly doesn’t complete a resume. But I digress. If I could just get her to read it, she’d find that History of the Tie Dye Bra is a 50,000-word, humorous YA romance that uses Jackie’s witty narrative to tear at the heart and mend the soul."
I am leaning towards the first one as it's obviously more professional. Opinions?
Apr 24, 2010
Query: FOCUS, SAM (Revision 2)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Ms./Mr. Agent:
After doing my research, I believe you are interested in commercial fiction. I hope you will like my novel entitled, FOCUS, SAM.
Sameer Sathe fell for seven women in his lifetime. One of them is going to save his life.
Sameer is good with books in his bookshop, but with nothing else, including growing up. He also has a problem – his once a year accidents. After his twenty fifth accident a mystic tells him that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next mishap. There is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. The issue is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.
Sameer reconnects with all the seven women. From the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds (she rejected him) to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know Stephen King). He realizes that he affected their lives profoundly, and most often in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks with every woman to perhaps undo the damage he caused.
In his quest Sameer learns why his life is worth saving.
My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.
Would you like to see the sample chapters?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Kind regards,
Rohit Gore
-----------------
Thank you all for the help! Please rip it apart!
The query for my first novel received overwhelming response after it got fine - tuned on Public Query Slushpile (About 40 agents, including some of the biggest names asked for fulls/partials). The novel is unfortunately condemned to stay in my hard disk, as I have a long way to go before I become a half-decent writer. I hope something works for this one.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Ms./Mr. Agent:
After doing my research, I believe you are interested in commercial fiction. I hope you will like my novel entitled, FOCUS, SAM.
Sameer Sathe fell for seven women in his lifetime. One of them is going to save his life.
Sameer is good with books in his bookshop, but with nothing else, including growing up. He also has a problem – his once a year accidents. After his twenty fifth accident a mystic tells him that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next mishap. There is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. The issue is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.
Sameer reconnects with all the seven women. From the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds (she rejected him) to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know Stephen King). He realizes that he affected their lives profoundly, and most often in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks with every woman to perhaps undo the damage he caused.
In his quest Sameer learns why his life is worth saving.
My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.
Would you like to see the sample chapters?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Kind regards,
Rohit Gore
-----------------
Thank you all for the help! Please rip it apart!
The query for my first novel received overwhelming response after it got fine - tuned on Public Query Slushpile (About 40 agents, including some of the biggest names asked for fulls/partials). The novel is unfortunately condemned to stay in my hard disk, as I have a long way to go before I become a half-decent writer. I hope something works for this one.
Apr 23, 2010
Query: Launch On Need (first revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent,
The war with Iraq is imminent, America’s wounds of 9/11 still weep, and former CNN science correspondent John Stangley is desperate to restart his life after losing Claire to cancer.
When Stangley receives a scoop from a source at NASA, the ten-month-long depressive fog lifts, and the spirit that once impassioned him, returns.
Stangley convinces CNN to let him do an exclusive live report from the Kennedy Space Center. During the seven o’clock newscast he tells his audience how Columbia’s international crew of seven may be in grave danger.
Mission management chair Julie Pollard watches the clock, as every minute it seems, Columbia’s problems grow in scale and complexity. First the media learns foam struck Columbia’s wing during launch, then shadowy, satellite images of Columbia prove inconclusive. Finally, a spacewalk confirms catastrophic wing damage. But Pollard has an idea. She wants to use Atlantis to rescue the crew of Columbia.
While engineers work to implement Pollard’s idea, NASA’s public relations department begins an ambitious program to rekindle America’s interest in the space program by granting the media unprecedented access. Stangley covers everything from rescue crew training, prayer vigils in towns across the country, public taste tests of astronaut food such as thermostabilized tortellini, and each milestone Atlantis reaches en route to the launch pad.
As Columbia’s seven astronauts wait to learn their fate, orbiting an impossible twenty-five days aboard a battered, powered-down spacecraft, one thought never leaves their minds. If the ground crews can’t ready Atlantis in time, a simple sensor fails at the launch pad, or a winter storm closes the launch window, they die in space.
Launch On Need, complete at 97,000 words, is a novelization of NASA’s rescue plan as detailed in the final report from the Columbia Accident Investigation Board.
Dear Agent,
The war with Iraq is imminent, America’s wounds of 9/11 still weep, and former CNN science correspondent John Stangley is desperate to restart his life after losing Claire to cancer.
When Stangley receives a scoop from a source at NASA, the ten-month-long depressive fog lifts, and the spirit that once impassioned him, returns.
Stangley convinces CNN to let him do an exclusive live report from the Kennedy Space Center. During the seven o’clock newscast he tells his audience how Columbia’s international crew of seven may be in grave danger.
Mission management chair Julie Pollard watches the clock, as every minute it seems, Columbia’s problems grow in scale and complexity. First the media learns foam struck Columbia’s wing during launch, then shadowy, satellite images of Columbia prove inconclusive. Finally, a spacewalk confirms catastrophic wing damage. But Pollard has an idea. She wants to use Atlantis to rescue the crew of Columbia.
While engineers work to implement Pollard’s idea, NASA’s public relations department begins an ambitious program to rekindle America’s interest in the space program by granting the media unprecedented access. Stangley covers everything from rescue crew training, prayer vigils in towns across the country, public taste tests of astronaut food such as thermostabilized tortellini, and each milestone Atlantis reaches en route to the launch pad.
As Columbia’s seven astronauts wait to learn their fate, orbiting an impossible twenty-five days aboard a battered, powered-down spacecraft, one thought never leaves their minds. If the ground crews can’t ready Atlantis in time, a simple sensor fails at the launch pad, or a winter storm closes the launch window, they die in space.
Launch On Need, complete at 97,000 words, is a novelization of NASA’s rescue plan as detailed in the final report from the Columbia Accident Investigation Board.
Apr 22, 2010
Query: FOCUS, SAM (Revision 1)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent:
Sameer Sathe fell for seven women in his life. One of them is going to save his life.
Sameer is good with books in his bookshop, but with nothing else, including growing up. He also has a problem – his once a year accidents. A mystic tells him after his twenty fifth accident that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next mishap. However, there is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. The issue is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.
Sameer begins his quest, starting with the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds (she rejected him) to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know Stephen King) he reconnects with all of them. He realizes that he affected their lives profoundly, and most often in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks with every woman to perhaps undo the damage he caused.
Is Sameer able to rid himself of the curse?
My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.
Would you like to see the sample chapters?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Kind regards,
Rohit Gore
Dear Agent:
Sameer Sathe fell for seven women in his life. One of them is going to save his life.
Sameer is good with books in his bookshop, but with nothing else, including growing up. He also has a problem – his once a year accidents. A mystic tells him after his twenty fifth accident that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next mishap. However, there is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. The issue is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.
Sameer begins his quest, starting with the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds (she rejected him) to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know Stephen King) he reconnects with all of them. He realizes that he affected their lives profoundly, and most often in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks with every woman to perhaps undo the damage he caused.
Is Sameer able to rid himself of the curse?
My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.
Would you like to see the sample chapters?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Kind regards,
Rohit Gore
Query - Whispers in the Dark (take 3)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
TWRP requires a short synopsis with their queries, not actual pages. (Just FYI for GJ)
Here goes:
Dear Mr. or Ms. Agent,
I am seeking publication for Whispers in the Dark, my 47,000 word paranormal romance novella, with your Faery Rose Press division.
Jazz Cornier, Slayer for Everto in Unum, ancient vampyre destroyers, loses her entire family during a last-minute raid. In the days following the tragedy and in the midst of her mourning, a dark stranger invades her life declaring her the prophesized, reincarnated Goddess with the faculty to cure vampyrism.
Instead of staking him where he stands, Jazz dismisses Kayne Sutrey's unsubstantiated claims and begins to move on with her life; or so she thinks. She soon finds herself needing Kayne's vampyric strengths and protection against another who seeks to make Jazz his own in order to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled. A prophecy she doesn’t believe in.
Kayne knows Jazz is his chance for mortality, if only he could convince her of her destiny. Instead, he finds himself wanting her for reasons much more personal. He must decide if his love for her overrides his quest for mortality.
My recent publication credits include AnnWenn: Dawn of Destruction, a short story published by Lame Goat Press in Kings of the Realm: A Dragon Anthology and Rebirth, another short story to be featured in Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010 by Sonar4 Publications.
I’ve also recently accepted an editing position with Strong Truths, a YA publisher.
Attached, in the body of this email, is a short synopsis.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Dawn Hullender
Click here to read the first revision.
TWRP requires a short synopsis with their queries, not actual pages. (Just FYI for GJ)
Here goes:
Dear Mr. or Ms. Agent,
I am seeking publication for Whispers in the Dark, my 47,000 word paranormal romance novella, with your Faery Rose Press division.
Jazz Cornier, Slayer for Everto in Unum, ancient vampyre destroyers, loses her entire family during a last-minute raid. In the days following the tragedy and in the midst of her mourning, a dark stranger invades her life declaring her the prophesized, reincarnated Goddess with the faculty to cure vampyrism.
Instead of staking him where he stands, Jazz dismisses Kayne Sutrey's unsubstantiated claims and begins to move on with her life; or so she thinks. She soon finds herself needing Kayne's vampyric strengths and protection against another who seeks to make Jazz his own in order to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled. A prophecy she doesn’t believe in.
Kayne knows Jazz is his chance for mortality, if only he could convince her of her destiny. Instead, he finds himself wanting her for reasons much more personal. He must decide if his love for her overrides his quest for mortality.
My recent publication credits include AnnWenn: Dawn of Destruction, a short story published by Lame Goat Press in Kings of the Realm: A Dragon Anthology and Rebirth, another short story to be featured in Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010 by Sonar4 Publications.
I’ve also recently accepted an editing position with Strong Truths, a YA publisher.
Attached, in the body of this email, is a short synopsis.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Dawn Hullender
Apr 21, 2010
Query - Whispers in the Dark (revised courtesy of a friend!)
Click here to read the original query.
Query - Whispers in the Dark (revised courtesy of a friend!)
Dear Mr. or Ms. Agent,
Whispers in the Dark, my 47,000 word paranormal romance novella, is perfect for the Faery Rose Press division. I’ve been published several times in the past but my most recent credits include: AnnWenn: Dawn of Destruction, a short story published by Lame Goat Press in Kings of the Realm: A Dragon Anthology and Rebirth, another short story to be featured in Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010 by Sonar4 Publications. I’ve also recently accepted an editing position with Strong Truths, a YA publisher.
In Whispers in the Dark, tragedy strikes Jazz Cornier when her entire family is brutally murdered by the very vampyres she slays. Emotionally weak, a mysterious vampyre invades her life and declares her a Goddess reincarnate—the one who can cure vampirism. She dismisses the whole idea and, in the wake of her family’s death, she lets the vampyre go unharmed.
But there is another who also believes she is the Goddess with the power to cure the thirst of blood—the insatiable need. But he doesn’t want to be freed; he wants to stop her. To protect Jazz, Kayne—the mysterious vampyre—returns to her. In an ever growing battle to stay alive, Jazz accepts his protection, even if she believes the whole idea is ludicrous.
As Kayne uses the very powers he wants her to destroy to defend her, he discovers his protection isn’t only for his mortality, but for reasons much more personal. Will his love override his dreams for mortality? Will it be enough to convince her to embrace her destiny?
Attached, in the body of this email, is a short synopsis.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Dawn Hullender
Query - Whispers in the Dark (revised courtesy of a friend!)
Dear Mr. or Ms. Agent,
Whispers in the Dark, my 47,000 word paranormal romance novella, is perfect for the Faery Rose Press division. I’ve been published several times in the past but my most recent credits include: AnnWenn: Dawn of Destruction, a short story published by Lame Goat Press in Kings of the Realm: A Dragon Anthology and Rebirth, another short story to be featured in Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010 by Sonar4 Publications. I’ve also recently accepted an editing position with Strong Truths, a YA publisher.
In Whispers in the Dark, tragedy strikes Jazz Cornier when her entire family is brutally murdered by the very vampyres she slays. Emotionally weak, a mysterious vampyre invades her life and declares her a Goddess reincarnate—the one who can cure vampirism. She dismisses the whole idea and, in the wake of her family’s death, she lets the vampyre go unharmed.
But there is another who also believes she is the Goddess with the power to cure the thirst of blood—the insatiable need. But he doesn’t want to be freed; he wants to stop her. To protect Jazz, Kayne—the mysterious vampyre—returns to her. In an ever growing battle to stay alive, Jazz accepts his protection, even if she believes the whole idea is ludicrous.
As Kayne uses the very powers he wants her to destroy to defend her, he discovers his protection isn’t only for his mortality, but for reasons much more personal. Will his love override his dreams for mortality? Will it be enough to convince her to embrace her destiny?
Attached, in the body of this email, is a short synopsis.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Dawn Hullender
Query- Coming Around Again (revision 2)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
When Maggie jumped into the ocean to save a young girl, she never expected that the course of her life would change, but it did.
Four year before when her husband and two kids died in a car accident, Maggie had pulled the shutters down on her soul. But those few moments in the cold Atlantic waters catapulted Maggie back to life with a vengeance. Feelings she had long since locked away came bursting back - anger, grief and surprisingly, happiness, in the form of the drowning girl’s father, Connor McGowan.
Not so recently divorced, Connor is the town’s new Police Chief and Maggie is fascinated by him. Connor is charming and has an easy confidence that draws Maggie out of her shell. Soon she is spending all of her time with him, loving life – loving him.
Until she realizes she is pregnant. Loving a grown, capable man is one thing but opening herself to a child, and possibly losing a child again, is more than Maggie can bear. Driven by fear, she leaves Connor without telling him of her condition. Away from Connor, she can see how barren an existence she had led and realizes she is not prepared to lose him; even if it means she must face her fears at last.
COMING AROUND AGAIN, a contemporary romance novel complete at 90,000 words, may appeal to readers of Susan Wiggs or Barbara Delinsky. I appreciate your consideration.
Click here to read the first revision.
When Maggie jumped into the ocean to save a young girl, she never expected that the course of her life would change, but it did.
Four year before when her husband and two kids died in a car accident, Maggie had pulled the shutters down on her soul. But those few moments in the cold Atlantic waters catapulted Maggie back to life with a vengeance. Feelings she had long since locked away came bursting back - anger, grief and surprisingly, happiness, in the form of the drowning girl’s father, Connor McGowan.
Not so recently divorced, Connor is the town’s new Police Chief and Maggie is fascinated by him. Connor is charming and has an easy confidence that draws Maggie out of her shell. Soon she is spending all of her time with him, loving life – loving him.
Until she realizes she is pregnant. Loving a grown, capable man is one thing but opening herself to a child, and possibly losing a child again, is more than Maggie can bear. Driven by fear, she leaves Connor without telling him of her condition. Away from Connor, she can see how barren an existence she had led and realizes she is not prepared to lose him; even if it means she must face her fears at last.
COMING AROUND AGAIN, a contemporary romance novel complete at 90,000 words, may appeal to readers of Susan Wiggs or Barbara Delinsky. I appreciate your consideration.
Apr 20, 2010
Query - Whispers In The Dark
Dear Mr or Ms. Agent,
I am seeking publication for Whispers In The Dark, my 47,000 word paranormal romance novella, with your Name Deleted division.
Kayne Sutrey became a vampyre against his will. Now, two hundred years later, he must rely on an ancient prophecy for his final redemption. If only that prophecy wasn’t the embodiment of a sexy vampyre slayer intent on eradicating his kind.
Instead of staking him on sight, Everto in Unum leader Jazz Cornier grants Kayne the chance she's never given before. To join in her quest for retribution against the vampyre who killed her entire family. Unbeknownst to Jazz, Kayne knows more about the one they hunt, for the monster used to be his brother.
When Jazz learns Kayne believes she’s the prophesized reincarnated Goddess with the power to cure vampyrism, Jazz reveals she’s no Goddess nor mere mortal. She’s a Felix – a natural born vampyre.
Instead of Kayne’s salvation, Jazz may be his damnation.
Together, they must elude the vampyre cult screaming for Jazz’s death long enough to figure out where they each stand in the world of paranormal, because their love has become more important than any battle ever fought.
My recent publication credits include AnnWenn: Dawn Of Destruction, a short story published by Lame Goat Press in Kings of the Realm: A Dragon Anthology and Rebirth, another short story to be featured in Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010 by Sonar4 Publications. I’ve also recently accepted an editing position with Strong Truths, a YA publisher.
Attached, in the body of this email, is a short synopsis.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Dawn Hullender
I am seeking publication for Whispers In The Dark, my 47,000 word paranormal romance novella, with your Name Deleted division.
Kayne Sutrey became a vampyre against his will. Now, two hundred years later, he must rely on an ancient prophecy for his final redemption. If only that prophecy wasn’t the embodiment of a sexy vampyre slayer intent on eradicating his kind.
Instead of staking him on sight, Everto in Unum leader Jazz Cornier grants Kayne the chance she's never given before. To join in her quest for retribution against the vampyre who killed her entire family. Unbeknownst to Jazz, Kayne knows more about the one they hunt, for the monster used to be his brother.
When Jazz learns Kayne believes she’s the prophesized reincarnated Goddess with the power to cure vampyrism, Jazz reveals she’s no Goddess nor mere mortal. She’s a Felix – a natural born vampyre.
Instead of Kayne’s salvation, Jazz may be his damnation.
Together, they must elude the vampyre cult screaming for Jazz’s death long enough to figure out where they each stand in the world of paranormal, because their love has become more important than any battle ever fought.
My recent publication credits include AnnWenn: Dawn Of Destruction, a short story published by Lame Goat Press in Kings of the Realm: A Dragon Anthology and Rebirth, another short story to be featured in Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010 by Sonar4 Publications. I’ve also recently accepted an editing position with Strong Truths, a YA publisher.
Attached, in the body of this email, is a short synopsis.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Dawn Hullender
Apr 19, 2010
Query: FOCUS, SAM
Dear Agent:
When Sameer Sathe, an eternal escapist, is told by a mystic that the reason he has an accident every year is a curse which can only be lifted by a woman he fell for, he begins his frantic quest to trace every single woman he at some point in life considered his soul-mate, and Sameer has just one year to do so, because his next accident could well be his last.
Sameer has a problem from childhood - his recurring accidents. At least one of his limbs was useless for a large part of the year and that made him a soft target in the school. Kids in similar situations almost always become miserable outcasts, but Sameer embraced his pariah status and is very proud of it. When a mystic tells him after his twenty fifth accident that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next accident, Sameer believes his inconsequential life will surely end. However, there is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. A woman, the sage says, Sameer has to find within a year.
One thing Sameer is extremely good at is staying below the radar. Get average grades, have no ambition, attach yourself to nothing and no one. The only thing he loves is books and believes his redemption is in literature. Now, Sameer has to confront his past in the most agonizing way – convincing all the women he fell for to allow him to intrude their lives for two weeks. The problem is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.
Sameer begins his quest, starting with the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know who Hemmingway is), he reconnects with all of them. After living with every woman, he realizes that he affected their lives profoundly and in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks to perhaps undo the damage he caused. Every woman reveals secrets about Sameer making him realize what the most important things in life are.
Is Sameer able to rid himself of the curse?
My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.
Would you like to see the sample chapters?
Kind regards,
Rohit Gore
When Sameer Sathe, an eternal escapist, is told by a mystic that the reason he has an accident every year is a curse which can only be lifted by a woman he fell for, he begins his frantic quest to trace every single woman he at some point in life considered his soul-mate, and Sameer has just one year to do so, because his next accident could well be his last.
Sameer has a problem from childhood - his recurring accidents. At least one of his limbs was useless for a large part of the year and that made him a soft target in the school. Kids in similar situations almost always become miserable outcasts, but Sameer embraced his pariah status and is very proud of it. When a mystic tells him after his twenty fifth accident that there is a curse on him and that he will be dead after his next accident, Sameer believes his inconsequential life will surely end. However, there is a saviour – one of the women Sameer fell in love with. A woman, the sage says, Sameer has to find within a year.
One thing Sameer is extremely good at is staying below the radar. Get average grades, have no ambition, attach yourself to nothing and no one. The only thing he loves is books and believes his redemption is in literature. Now, Sameer has to confront his past in the most agonizing way – convincing all the women he fell for to allow him to intrude their lives for two weeks. The problem is, though he did fall in love with many women, not many women fell in love with him.
Sameer begins his quest, starting with the girl he promised to marry when they both were seven year olds to the woman who broke their engagement (he thinks she did it because he hates people who don't know who Hemmingway is), he reconnects with all of them. After living with every woman, he realizes that he affected their lives profoundly and in a terrible way. Sameer has just two weeks to perhaps undo the damage he caused. Every woman reveals secrets about Sameer making him realize what the most important things in life are.
Is Sameer able to rid himself of the curse?
My 78,000 words ladlit FOCUS, SAM, will appeal to the readers of Nick Hornby.
Would you like to see the sample chapters?
Kind regards,
Rohit Gore
Apr 18, 2010
Query- Coming Around Again (Revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Maggie Sloan sat alone on the beach – alone being her favorite state since the death of her husband and kids four years earlier. When a young girl disappears under the waves Maggie over-rides her own instinct for self-preservation and jumps in to pull the young girl out. The incident not only brings crashing back all the feelings of grief Maggie has worked so hard to suppress but it also brings the little girl’s father to her door; and Maggie is completely unprepared for Connor McGowan.
Connor moved to the North Carolina coastal town for two reasons; to fill the position of Chief of Police and spend more time with his three kids. His life in Chicago had cost him a lot and this is his chance to turn his life around. Even before she saves his daughter, Connor is captivated by his new neighbor; she is a fascinating blend of strong and fragile and he has already decided he wants to get to know her.
As Connor pursues Maggie, she finds herself drawn in by his confidence, his strength and his dedication. Little by little she opens herself to the possibility that she may be brave enough to risk loving someone again.
Then she finds out she is pregnant. She is prepared to love a capable, grown man; but a child is another thing entirely. Uncertain she can face the risk of loving and losing again, Maggie bolts, leaving Connor behind with little explanation, certainly not that she is pregnant. But Connor is determined to live life to the fullest; and that includes Maggie. He just has to convince her.
COMING AROUND AGAIN, a contemporary romance novel complete at 90,000 words, may appeal to readers of Susan Wiggs or Barbara Delinsky. I appreciate your consideration.
Maggie Sloan sat alone on the beach – alone being her favorite state since the death of her husband and kids four years earlier. When a young girl disappears under the waves Maggie over-rides her own instinct for self-preservation and jumps in to pull the young girl out. The incident not only brings crashing back all the feelings of grief Maggie has worked so hard to suppress but it also brings the little girl’s father to her door; and Maggie is completely unprepared for Connor McGowan.
Connor moved to the North Carolina coastal town for two reasons; to fill the position of Chief of Police and spend more time with his three kids. His life in Chicago had cost him a lot and this is his chance to turn his life around. Even before she saves his daughter, Connor is captivated by his new neighbor; she is a fascinating blend of strong and fragile and he has already decided he wants to get to know her.
As Connor pursues Maggie, she finds herself drawn in by his confidence, his strength and his dedication. Little by little she opens herself to the possibility that she may be brave enough to risk loving someone again.
Then she finds out she is pregnant. She is prepared to love a capable, grown man; but a child is another thing entirely. Uncertain she can face the risk of loving and losing again, Maggie bolts, leaving Connor behind with little explanation, certainly not that she is pregnant. But Connor is determined to live life to the fullest; and that includes Maggie. He just has to convince her.
COMING AROUND AGAIN, a contemporary romance novel complete at 90,000 words, may appeal to readers of Susan Wiggs or Barbara Delinsky. I appreciate your consideration.
Apr 16, 2010
Query- The Ice King (third revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear XXXX,
Joshua has always been a sheltered king, oblivious to who he truly is and what he is destined to do – forced out of the safety of his castle and accompanied by two powerful immortals: a tiny-brave princess, who must teach him how to control the chaotic power growing inside of him and a shapeshifter, who has sworn to protect him at any cost – together they must go on a journey that will change his life forever.
When the Ice King’s only daughter is taken from her tower room by a Fire Dragon, the Ice King conjures a blanket of ice and snow that covers all of the realms in hopes to have his daughter returned safely. In doing so, three mischievous and malicious sisters have awakened an ancient power within Joshua and force an almost impossible quest upon him.
During Joshua’s quest he has to fight off a clan of dwarfs, is almost eaten by a fierce harpy, and converses with a wise-old dragon, all while trying to learn and control his newfound powers. If Joshua fails at his task, he will unknowingly die by the one he trusts and loves the most: a tiny-brave princess.
Accepting his fate and changing his destiny is the only way he will survive and bring back peace and harmony to all the realms affected by the Ice King’s magic.
THE ICE KING is an 83,000-word YA fantasy novel. May I send you the complete manuscript for your review?
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear XXXX,
Joshua has always been a sheltered king, oblivious to who he truly is and what he is destined to do – forced out of the safety of his castle and accompanied by two powerful immortals: a tiny-brave princess, who must teach him how to control the chaotic power growing inside of him and a shapeshifter, who has sworn to protect him at any cost – together they must go on a journey that will change his life forever.
When the Ice King’s only daughter is taken from her tower room by a Fire Dragon, the Ice King conjures a blanket of ice and snow that covers all of the realms in hopes to have his daughter returned safely. In doing so, three mischievous and malicious sisters have awakened an ancient power within Joshua and force an almost impossible quest upon him.
During Joshua’s quest he has to fight off a clan of dwarfs, is almost eaten by a fierce harpy, and converses with a wise-old dragon, all while trying to learn and control his newfound powers. If Joshua fails at his task, he will unknowingly die by the one he trusts and loves the most: a tiny-brave princess.
Accepting his fate and changing his destiny is the only way he will survive and bring back peace and harmony to all the realms affected by the Ice King’s magic.
THE ICE KING is an 83,000-word YA fantasy novel. May I send you the complete manuscript for your review?
Apr 15, 2010
Query- Four Thousand Miles (revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Hopefully, this is the last version...
When Natalie Spencer loses her job, she returns home unexpectedly to find her husband in bed with his business partner… Jeremy. In shock, Natalie boards the first flight to the English-speaking destination on the United Airlines flight board – London, England. Armed with only her purse, Natalie is nearly mugged in a Tube station. Her attackers are scared off by an introverted songwriter Gavin Ashby. Recognizing Natalie’s fragile state, Gavin offers help and eventually invites her to recuperate from her trauma at his home in Pluckley, Kent.
Unaccustomed to the role of “damsel in distress,” Natalie gets her strength back by helping others. She encourages Gavin to reinvigorate his music career, provides mentorship to girls at the farm, and very reluctantly supports her husband via email while he deals with his new, publicly gay life. Gavin’s family and friends begin to accept Natalie into their lives, particularly his niece. Natalie finds healing in the Kent countryside, but continues to look at her time in England as a break from her “real life,” not a permanent option. When Gavin’s best friend, Avery, asks Natalie on a date, Gavin realizes his feelings for Natalie go beyond friendship and makes his move. Just when the pair seems to be heading in the right direction, a car accident involving the niece and a verbal attack on Natalie by Gavin’s sister bring the budding relationship to a halt. Natalie must choose whether to abandon her old life for Gavin or to flee once again.
Complete at 95,000 words, Four Thousand Miles is women's fiction. My short story “Death of a Woman” was published in the Detroit literary magazine, The Furnace. Attached you will find the first three chapters of my novel. Thank you for your time.
Hopefully, this is the last version...
When Natalie Spencer loses her job, she returns home unexpectedly to find her husband in bed with his business partner… Jeremy. In shock, Natalie boards the first flight to the English-speaking destination on the United Airlines flight board – London, England. Armed with only her purse, Natalie is nearly mugged in a Tube station. Her attackers are scared off by an introverted songwriter Gavin Ashby. Recognizing Natalie’s fragile state, Gavin offers help and eventually invites her to recuperate from her trauma at his home in Pluckley, Kent.
Unaccustomed to the role of “damsel in distress,” Natalie gets her strength back by helping others. She encourages Gavin to reinvigorate his music career, provides mentorship to girls at the farm, and very reluctantly supports her husband via email while he deals with his new, publicly gay life. Gavin’s family and friends begin to accept Natalie into their lives, particularly his niece. Natalie finds healing in the Kent countryside, but continues to look at her time in England as a break from her “real life,” not a permanent option. When Gavin’s best friend, Avery, asks Natalie on a date, Gavin realizes his feelings for Natalie go beyond friendship and makes his move. Just when the pair seems to be heading in the right direction, a car accident involving the niece and a verbal attack on Natalie by Gavin’s sister bring the budding relationship to a halt. Natalie must choose whether to abandon her old life for Gavin or to flee once again.
Complete at 95,000 words, Four Thousand Miles is women's fiction. My short story “Death of a Woman” was published in the Detroit literary magazine, The Furnace. Attached you will find the first three chapters of my novel. Thank you for your time.
Apr 13, 2010
Query: Wilder Times / Genre: YA
Dear Agent,
Ben Wilder never really dreamt about becoming a rock star. It was more of a given—his throne to inherit.
Not that Ben doesn’t want to be the next “it” guy. And not that he lacks the necessary talent. He’s got what it takes—the voice, the charisma, the looks. For the most part, he’s more than happy to fulfill his destiny. To be a rock god. Just as long as he doesn’t become him: the legendary eighties rocker Ben calls dad.
For Kat Hayes, life is a bit more simple. She is just an average high school girl. And high school girls dream about rock stars. She dreams about one in particular: Ben Wilder.
Kat’s been in love with Ben ever since she was twelve, when his first teen pop album was released. Now, four years later, she finally has the chance to meet him. So what if it takes a tiny little lie—a lie that puts her best friend, Jackson, in jeopardy of losing his new job. To Kat, Ben is worth any risk.
What seemed like a one-time meeting quickly turns into romance and Kat finds that her lie is impossible to recall. Her once-simple life turns into a blitz of popularity and paparazzi—which is sorta cool. At first. Until a media-fueled competition for Ben’s attention erupts between Kat and a voluptuous swimsuit model—and Kat doesn’t see how her unaltered sixteen-year-old body can measure up.
But again, Kat’s problems are rather simple. She’s not the one having nightmares about her dead dad. Ben is. The more his life mirrors his dad’s, the more the ghosts from his dad’s past seem to seep through the cracks of Ben’s carefully constructed life, threatening to ensnare him with remnants of abuse and addiction. Unbidden memories of his dad—and his ill-fated death—dominate Ben’s sleep. And in his waking hours, Ben finds that he must face the music (cliché-ish pun intended) and prove to the world—and himself—that he’s not plagiarizing dear old dad.
Wilder Times is complete at—take a deep breath—112,000 words. Ahem. You still with me? Wilder Times is intended to be a three book series drawing on the rock star phenomenon that continues to dominate teen culture, including TV, video games, and clothing—but seems to be a relatively untouched aspect of Young Adult Fiction.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Me
Ben Wilder never really dreamt about becoming a rock star. It was more of a given—his throne to inherit.
Not that Ben doesn’t want to be the next “it” guy. And not that he lacks the necessary talent. He’s got what it takes—the voice, the charisma, the looks. For the most part, he’s more than happy to fulfill his destiny. To be a rock god. Just as long as he doesn’t become him: the legendary eighties rocker Ben calls dad.
For Kat Hayes, life is a bit more simple. She is just an average high school girl. And high school girls dream about rock stars. She dreams about one in particular: Ben Wilder.
Kat’s been in love with Ben ever since she was twelve, when his first teen pop album was released. Now, four years later, she finally has the chance to meet him. So what if it takes a tiny little lie—a lie that puts her best friend, Jackson, in jeopardy of losing his new job. To Kat, Ben is worth any risk.
What seemed like a one-time meeting quickly turns into romance and Kat finds that her lie is impossible to recall. Her once-simple life turns into a blitz of popularity and paparazzi—which is sorta cool. At first. Until a media-fueled competition for Ben’s attention erupts between Kat and a voluptuous swimsuit model—and Kat doesn’t see how her unaltered sixteen-year-old body can measure up.
But again, Kat’s problems are rather simple. She’s not the one having nightmares about her dead dad. Ben is. The more his life mirrors his dad’s, the more the ghosts from his dad’s past seem to seep through the cracks of Ben’s carefully constructed life, threatening to ensnare him with remnants of abuse and addiction. Unbidden memories of his dad—and his ill-fated death—dominate Ben’s sleep. And in his waking hours, Ben finds that he must face the music (cliché-ish pun intended) and prove to the world—and himself—that he’s not plagiarizing dear old dad.
Wilder Times is complete at—take a deep breath—112,000 words. Ahem. You still with me? Wilder Times is intended to be a three book series drawing on the rock star phenomenon that continues to dominate teen culture, including TV, video games, and clothing—but seems to be a relatively untouched aspect of Young Adult Fiction.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Me
Apr 12, 2010
QUERY: OF POETS AND ANGELS
Dear [Agent],
A murder in the corrupt and polluted city of Lambria sends a poet on a desperate chase for an ancient artifact
Ethan has a rare gift. His poetry can do more than captivate audiences: it can command thoughts, or even alter reality itself. As Ethan struggles to control his new abilities, he stumbles upon a grisly murder that threatens to attract the attention of the dreaded Inquisition, if he doesn't solve it first. Ethan's investigations reveal much more than a simple murder, the victim was an operative of the Inquisition. Sent to retrieve a dangerous artifact from a hidden shrine, the murdered agent was betrayed by his partner, and now the artifact is missing. Without the artifact, Ethan's home, once a safe haven from the bustle and pollution of the city, is suddenly fraught with misfortune and danger. At first trying to avoid trouble and stay out of the hands of the Inquisition, Ethan seeks only to further his poetry career. But with his friends in danger and Ethan pursued by the Inquisition, he can no longer remain uninvolved. Forced to confront his own cowardice, Ethan must make a choice: continue to hide in coffee shops and gin-dens, or learn to control his gift and find the artifact before the home he loves is torn apart.
My novel OF POETS AND ANGELS, is a 96,000-word SteamPunk-Fantasy, that will appeal to readers of China Mielville and Bruce Sterling alike.
Thank you considering my submission, the manuscript is available upon request.
Sincerely,
C. Scott Morris
A murder in the corrupt and polluted city of Lambria sends a poet on a desperate chase for an ancient artifact
Ethan has a rare gift. His poetry can do more than captivate audiences: it can command thoughts, or even alter reality itself. As Ethan struggles to control his new abilities, he stumbles upon a grisly murder that threatens to attract the attention of the dreaded Inquisition, if he doesn't solve it first. Ethan's investigations reveal much more than a simple murder, the victim was an operative of the Inquisition. Sent to retrieve a dangerous artifact from a hidden shrine, the murdered agent was betrayed by his partner, and now the artifact is missing. Without the artifact, Ethan's home, once a safe haven from the bustle and pollution of the city, is suddenly fraught with misfortune and danger. At first trying to avoid trouble and stay out of the hands of the Inquisition, Ethan seeks only to further his poetry career. But with his friends in danger and Ethan pursued by the Inquisition, he can no longer remain uninvolved. Forced to confront his own cowardice, Ethan must make a choice: continue to hide in coffee shops and gin-dens, or learn to control his gift and find the artifact before the home he loves is torn apart.
My novel OF POETS AND ANGELS, is a 96,000-word SteamPunk-Fantasy, that will appeal to readers of China Mielville and Bruce Sterling alike.
Thank you considering my submission, the manuscript is available upon request.
Sincerely,
C. Scott Morris
Apr 10, 2010
Query- Four Thousand Miles
Dear Ms. (AGENT NAME),
When twenty-eight year old Natalie Spencer’s entire life unravels in a single morning, she hops an impromptu flight to England where she drops into the life of Gavin Ashby, a reclusive songwriter from rural Kent. Four Thousand Miles is a completed 93,000 word, character driven novel written under the influence of Diana Gabaldon, Kristen Hannah, Jennifer Weiner and Jane Austen with the quarter-life crisis in mind. Female readers will relate to Natalie’s perfect-on-paper life and her need to discover herself in order to start over again.
Natalie Spencer has a good life in Milwaukee, Wisconsin - not an exciting life, or even a very interesting one at that, but a good life nonetheless. However, when her career meets an abrupt end and she returns home to find her perfect husband in bed with his best friend, Jeremy, Natalie learns just how fragile her world is. In a state of shock, Natalie’s instincts take over and she boards a plane to the first English speaking destination on the United Airlines flight board – London, England. Alone and armed with nothing but her purse, Natalie narrowly escapes being mugged in a Tube station and is rescued by a Brit with rugged good looks by the name of Gavin Ashby. Having spent most of his adult life in a self-imposed limbo, Gavin Ashby recognizes his kindred spirit in Natalie. He invites her to recuperate from her emotional trauma at his home in Pluckley, Kent, where he lives above his family’s restaurant with his possessive sister and her deaf daughter. Through their strong friendship, Natalie and Gavin are able to heal from their wounds and discover the strength to go after the lives they’ve always wanted.
After falling victim to the tidal wave of corporate downsizing myself, I have pressed my own reset button by dusting off my Bachelors in English and re-kindling my love of writing. Four Thousand Miles is my first completed novel and fits solidly into the chick-lit genre. My only other publishing credit is a short story entitled “Death of a Woman,” which had been published in the Detroit literary magazine, The Furnace in 2000. Attached you will find the first three chapters of my novel for your review. The completed manuscript is available on request. Thank you very much for taking the time to consider Four Thousand Miles. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jessica Riggles
(MY INFO HERE)
When twenty-eight year old Natalie Spencer’s entire life unravels in a single morning, she hops an impromptu flight to England where she drops into the life of Gavin Ashby, a reclusive songwriter from rural Kent. Four Thousand Miles is a completed 93,000 word, character driven novel written under the influence of Diana Gabaldon, Kristen Hannah, Jennifer Weiner and Jane Austen with the quarter-life crisis in mind. Female readers will relate to Natalie’s perfect-on-paper life and her need to discover herself in order to start over again.
Natalie Spencer has a good life in Milwaukee, Wisconsin - not an exciting life, or even a very interesting one at that, but a good life nonetheless. However, when her career meets an abrupt end and she returns home to find her perfect husband in bed with his best friend, Jeremy, Natalie learns just how fragile her world is. In a state of shock, Natalie’s instincts take over and she boards a plane to the first English speaking destination on the United Airlines flight board – London, England. Alone and armed with nothing but her purse, Natalie narrowly escapes being mugged in a Tube station and is rescued by a Brit with rugged good looks by the name of Gavin Ashby. Having spent most of his adult life in a self-imposed limbo, Gavin Ashby recognizes his kindred spirit in Natalie. He invites her to recuperate from her emotional trauma at his home in Pluckley, Kent, where he lives above his family’s restaurant with his possessive sister and her deaf daughter. Through their strong friendship, Natalie and Gavin are able to heal from their wounds and discover the strength to go after the lives they’ve always wanted.
After falling victim to the tidal wave of corporate downsizing myself, I have pressed my own reset button by dusting off my Bachelors in English and re-kindling my love of writing. Four Thousand Miles is my first completed novel and fits solidly into the chick-lit genre. My only other publishing credit is a short story entitled “Death of a Woman,” which had been published in the Detroit literary magazine, The Furnace in 2000. Attached you will find the first three chapters of my novel for your review. The completed manuscript is available on request. Thank you very much for taking the time to consider Four Thousand Miles. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jessica Riggles
(MY INFO HERE)
Iron Thirst - Urban Fantasy (revised)
Click here to read the previous version.
Dear Mr. Awesome,
Looking for an escape from the norm, Felicity Johnson dresses for trouble, and finds it when she attends DragonCon – the convention that celebrates everything sci-fi and fantasy. When she slid on her fake fangs that morning, she wasn’t aware that DragonCon was swarming with real vampires who use this weekend to take off their disguises and blend in with the other costumed attendees.
When her best friend disappears while they are at the Con, she turns to Blake Richmond—new crush, attorney, and leader of a team designed to keep the vampires in line and out of view. To make matters worse, Felicity attracts the attention of a vampire that develops a thirst for the iron running through her veins. Blake strives to keep her heart beating, but the search for her best friend leads her down a path that could leave her either dead or with the ultimate makeover—one that cannot be undone without a stake to the heart.
Iron Thirst is an 88,000-word urban fantasy. I am a member of the Atlanta Writers Club and Sisters in Crime. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Appreciative de Critique
Dear Mr. Awesome,
Looking for an escape from the norm, Felicity Johnson dresses for trouble, and finds it when she attends DragonCon – the convention that celebrates everything sci-fi and fantasy. When she slid on her fake fangs that morning, she wasn’t aware that DragonCon was swarming with real vampires who use this weekend to take off their disguises and blend in with the other costumed attendees.
When her best friend disappears while they are at the Con, she turns to Blake Richmond—new crush, attorney, and leader of a team designed to keep the vampires in line and out of view. To make matters worse, Felicity attracts the attention of a vampire that develops a thirst for the iron running through her veins. Blake strives to keep her heart beating, but the search for her best friend leads her down a path that could leave her either dead or with the ultimate makeover—one that cannot be undone without a stake to the heart.
Iron Thirst is an 88,000-word urban fantasy. I am a member of the Atlanta Writers Club and Sisters in Crime. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Appreciative de Critique
Apr 9, 2010
QUERY- COMING AROUND AGAIN
Maggie Sloan has given up on life. The day her husband and two children died in a car accident, life stopped for her. Fleeing the bad memories, she leaves Boston and moves to the quiet North Carolina coast. For the next four years she lives in relative obscurity, hiding from life and the possibility of hurt – as well as happiness. That is until the house next door is bought by the new police chief.
Connor McGowan is chasing life. Having spent years as a Chicago detective he watched his marriage die and his ex-wife and three kids move 1,000 miles away. After a brutal attack that left his best friend dead and almost killed him, Connor leaves Chicago determined to turn his life around. He takes a job as Chief of Police in a small North Carolina town intending to spend as much time as he can with his children and be the father he always thought he could be. His plans don’t include romance until he meets his quiet neighbor.
When Connor’s daughter almost drowns, Maggie jumps in to save her. In a split second Maggie has been thrust back into life. Forced to face not only the memories of the car accident where her family died but also six feet of confident and charismatic male, Maggie finds she wants a new chance at life, a new chance for love.
But her unplanned pregnancy revives Maggie’s fears of loss and grief. Trying to avoid potential heartache, Maggie returns to Boston and must face the ghosts of her past and ultimately decide how she can face the future.
COMING AROUND AGAIN, a contemporary romance novel complete at 90,000 words, may appeal to readers of Susan Wiggs or Barbara Delinsky. I appreciate your consideration.
Connor McGowan is chasing life. Having spent years as a Chicago detective he watched his marriage die and his ex-wife and three kids move 1,000 miles away. After a brutal attack that left his best friend dead and almost killed him, Connor leaves Chicago determined to turn his life around. He takes a job as Chief of Police in a small North Carolina town intending to spend as much time as he can with his children and be the father he always thought he could be. His plans don’t include romance until he meets his quiet neighbor.
When Connor’s daughter almost drowns, Maggie jumps in to save her. In a split second Maggie has been thrust back into life. Forced to face not only the memories of the car accident where her family died but also six feet of confident and charismatic male, Maggie finds she wants a new chance at life, a new chance for love.
But her unplanned pregnancy revives Maggie’s fears of loss and grief. Trying to avoid potential heartache, Maggie returns to Boston and must face the ghosts of her past and ultimately decide how she can face the future.
COMING AROUND AGAIN, a contemporary romance novel complete at 90,000 words, may appeal to readers of Susan Wiggs or Barbara Delinsky. I appreciate your consideration.
Apr 6, 2010
Query - FORGOTTEN WINGS, Fantasy YA
Dear Awesome Agent,
Eleanora doesn't shapeshift on purpose. After sixteen years of friends scaring the owl wings out of her, she'd die for a better knee-jerk reaction. But that's the problem; if word ever got out that the human princess actually descended from a skrÃmsli, or shapechanger, the draconic lawmakers would rip her to shreds. No children born outside of marriage, no exceptions.
Fortunately, her kennari can erase the memories of witnesses. It's truly a no-brainer why her mother sent her to the middle of nowhere to study Artistries with him.
Oopsies get tricky though when Eleanora's assigned as a noble representative to a military fortress along a crucial trade route. She's torn from the safety of her kennari and thrown into a whole new crowd of faces to befriend and deceive, including green-eyed Melidor and mysterious Ben. She can't figure out what about the new locale disconcerts her more: the looming threat of dragons; the cloaked figures in the night; or the two knights vying for her heart.
No use making a decision when she has to answer to all of them.
FORGOTTEN WINGS is a 110,000-word fantasy young adult novel. It's designed as the first of a series but is capable of standing alone. It has the same high-paced fantasy appeal of Kristin Cashore's GRACELING. It is my first novel.
[Insert why I chose this agent.]
I am a Californian copywriter that homes both my copy samples and FORGOTTEN WING's first chapter at www.kourtnie.net.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Kourtnie
[Insert contact info - didn't delete this from the first comment, whoops! :)]
Eleanora doesn't shapeshift on purpose. After sixteen years of friends scaring the owl wings out of her, she'd die for a better knee-jerk reaction. But that's the problem; if word ever got out that the human princess actually descended from a skrÃmsli, or shapechanger, the draconic lawmakers would rip her to shreds. No children born outside of marriage, no exceptions.
Fortunately, her kennari can erase the memories of witnesses. It's truly a no-brainer why her mother sent her to the middle of nowhere to study Artistries with him.
Oopsies get tricky though when Eleanora's assigned as a noble representative to a military fortress along a crucial trade route. She's torn from the safety of her kennari and thrown into a whole new crowd of faces to befriend and deceive, including green-eyed Melidor and mysterious Ben. She can't figure out what about the new locale disconcerts her more: the looming threat of dragons; the cloaked figures in the night; or the two knights vying for her heart.
No use making a decision when she has to answer to all of them.
FORGOTTEN WINGS is a 110,000-word fantasy young adult novel. It's designed as the first of a series but is capable of standing alone. It has the same high-paced fantasy appeal of Kristin Cashore's GRACELING. It is my first novel.
[Insert why I chose this agent.]
I am a Californian copywriter that homes both my copy samples and FORGOTTEN WING's first chapter at www.kourtnie.net.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Kourtnie
[Insert contact info - didn't delete this from the first comment, whoops! :)]
Query- The Keeper
Dear Public Query Slushpile,
There were signs all along, but signs get missed when you’re struggling just to make it through the day.
After her father’s death, Rachel Goode is determined to rebuild her life a thousand miles away from the only home she’s ever known. Sent with her brother to live at the boarding school where their uncle is Headmaster, she doesn’t expect to ever be happy again. Nor does she expect to find her soul mate, a mysterious boy with a secret connection to Rachel’s family and a world she never imagined existed.
Rachel’s attraction to Talan is instantaneous, consuming, and reciprocated. But standing in the way of her newfound happiness with Talan is the second soul that resides in him. Talan confesses not only to a growing love for Rachel, but that he is possessed by a “keeper,” an entity with a mission to guard her through a supernatural purpose. Can Rachel convince Talan that the “keeper” is just an illusion, an unnecessary barrier to the normal, happy life she desperately craves? Or will she have to come to terms with her role as a “chosen one” and accept that she has a purpose larger than her tragic circumstances reveal?
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a completed 99,000 word YA, paranormal romance titled The Keeper. What makes The Keeper unique is that it operates as two separate stories on two separate levels, one of which is only revealed in the ending. In fact, if you reread the book a second time, a whole different story floats to the surface like seaweed kicked up from the ocean floor.
On the surface, The Keeper uses Rachel’s first-person voice to share a love story that tears at the heart and mends the soul. But a secondary layer of symbolism and allegory emerges towards the ending to give Keeper a deeper relevance. It should appeal to paranormal romance readers as well as anyone seeking an uplifting message and an ending that leaves you thinking for days.
I would appreciate the chance to share a few chapters at your request. Please feel free to contact me at ---@gmail.com . Thank you for your valuable time and consideration.
Sincerely,
LL
There were signs all along, but signs get missed when you’re struggling just to make it through the day.
After her father’s death, Rachel Goode is determined to rebuild her life a thousand miles away from the only home she’s ever known. Sent with her brother to live at the boarding school where their uncle is Headmaster, she doesn’t expect to ever be happy again. Nor does she expect to find her soul mate, a mysterious boy with a secret connection to Rachel’s family and a world she never imagined existed.
Rachel’s attraction to Talan is instantaneous, consuming, and reciprocated. But standing in the way of her newfound happiness with Talan is the second soul that resides in him. Talan confesses not only to a growing love for Rachel, but that he is possessed by a “keeper,” an entity with a mission to guard her through a supernatural purpose. Can Rachel convince Talan that the “keeper” is just an illusion, an unnecessary barrier to the normal, happy life she desperately craves? Or will she have to come to terms with her role as a “chosen one” and accept that she has a purpose larger than her tragic circumstances reveal?
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a completed 99,000 word YA, paranormal romance titled The Keeper. What makes The Keeper unique is that it operates as two separate stories on two separate levels, one of which is only revealed in the ending. In fact, if you reread the book a second time, a whole different story floats to the surface like seaweed kicked up from the ocean floor.
On the surface, The Keeper uses Rachel’s first-person voice to share a love story that tears at the heart and mends the soul. But a secondary layer of symbolism and allegory emerges towards the ending to give Keeper a deeper relevance. It should appeal to paranormal romance readers as well as anyone seeking an uplifting message and an ending that leaves you thinking for days.
I would appreciate the chance to share a few chapters at your request. Please feel free to contact me at ---@gmail.com . Thank you for your valuable time and consideration.
Sincerely,
LL
Apr 5, 2010
Slushpile Reader
This came through the Submissions queue. I'm not affiliated with SlushpileReader.com. I did look at the site and think it's laid out nicely and the concept is interesting.
Rick
Hello, what an excellent thing you have going here! I hope you do not mind if I am post some information about Slush Pile Reader here as it might be of interest to your readers and contributors?
Slush Pile Reader is a social community for readers and writers from all over the world.
At www.slushpilereader.com authors are welcome to submit their manuscripts, readers read, comment and vote for their favorites. Slush Pile Reader will then publish the most popular manuscript(s).
Apart from the selection process Slush Pile Reader works like any traditional publisher - we will edit, distribute and market selected books. As such, of course there are no fees or costs involved for the authors what so ever.
Everyone is welcome to submit their manuscripts, become a member and read and vote for their favorite manuscripts. Also, there is a lively forum with interesting discussions, writers tags and a chance to make new friends and talk about writing and reading with interesting people from all over!
Welcome to Slush Pile Reader!
If you have any questions please email me (johanna@slushpilereader.com)
or check out the site at www.slushpilereader.com.
Rick
Hello, what an excellent thing you have going here! I hope you do not mind if I am post some information about Slush Pile Reader here as it might be of interest to your readers and contributors?
Slush Pile Reader is a social community for readers and writers from all over the world.
At www.slushpilereader.com authors are welcome to submit their manuscripts, readers read, comment and vote for their favorites. Slush Pile Reader will then publish the most popular manuscript(s).
Apart from the selection process Slush Pile Reader works like any traditional publisher - we will edit, distribute and market selected books. As such, of course there are no fees or costs involved for the authors what so ever.
Everyone is welcome to submit their manuscripts, become a member and read and vote for their favorite manuscripts. Also, there is a lively forum with interesting discussions, writers tags and a chance to make new friends and talk about writing and reading with interesting people from all over!
Welcome to Slush Pile Reader!
If you have any questions please email me (johanna@slushpilereader.com)
or check out the site at www.slushpilereader.com.
Apr 1, 2010
QUERY - LOST ANGEL
Dear OpenQuery/Rick,
Some people wonder. They wonder what happens to stillborn babies, or how in the world God manages to listen to millions of prayers a day, or what, exactly, is an angel, and what they look like.
Precocious twelve-year-old Angel Trainee Evangeline Blackwell doesn't need to wonder. She knows it all (or almost). One thing she doesn't know, however is who her parents are. But she intends to find out. And then she does. And it turns out, the truth does hurt, especially when you aren't officially allowed to know. And especially when your best friend is a practiced rule-breaker [troublemaker] and you're the youngest in a group of intelligent and, more importantly, insubordinate friends who insist on dragging you along on their journey along the dangerously fine line between mischievous celestial defiance and open rebellion. When they are caught red-handed breaking yet another rule from God's List of Things an Angel is Not Allowed to Do, things take a turn for the worse and Evangeline and her friends must choose between what they think is right, and what the all-knowing God says is right.
LOST ANGEL, complete at 100,000 words, is a Young Adult Fantasy novel. I am a student currently residing in France and have been writing as a hobby for over five years.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
[Name]
Some people wonder. They wonder what happens to stillborn babies, or how in the world God manages to listen to millions of prayers a day, or what, exactly, is an angel, and what they look like.
Precocious twelve-year-old Angel Trainee Evangeline Blackwell doesn't need to wonder. She knows it all (or almost). One thing she doesn't know, however is who her parents are. But she intends to find out. And then she does. And it turns out, the truth does hurt, especially when you aren't officially allowed to know. And especially when your best friend is a practiced rule-breaker [troublemaker] and you're the youngest in a group of intelligent and, more importantly, insubordinate friends who insist on dragging you along on their journey along the dangerously fine line between mischievous celestial defiance and open rebellion. When they are caught red-handed breaking yet another rule from God's List of Things an Angel is Not Allowed to Do, things take a turn for the worse and Evangeline and her friends must choose between what they think is right, and what the all-knowing God says is right.
LOST ANGEL, complete at 100,000 words, is a Young Adult Fantasy novel. I am a student currently residing in France and have been writing as a hobby for over five years.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
[Name]
Query- To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly
In a parallel world, four coma patients battle for a rainbow butterfly in order to wake up and return to their loved ones in To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly, a contemporary fantasy at 80,000 words.
Three days. Four competitors. One butterfly. One winner. The odds are stacked against 20-year-old Molly Weaver. But despite years of cruelty and neglect, Molly’s determination to find happiness and purpose in life is strong. Open doors lead her to new places while closed doors are off limits. Treacherous weather, dehydration, and tragic memories threaten her. Some of the competitors are willing to kill for the butterfly, putting Molly’s life in further jeopardy. Sharpay Wang, who believes she’s trapped in a hallucination, is the only one eager to help Molly. As time runs short, Molly bonds with her contenders and discovers a connection that ties them together in the real world. Will her feelings get in the way of catching the butterfly or will she figure out a way to save everyone?
In addition to writing novels, I am a playwright. My one-act play, Walking Off Pluto, premiered at the Laurel Mill Playhouse and went on to compete in the Maryland One Act Festival. My full-length play, Samson and Ms. Delilah, was recently selected for the Essential Theatre Playwriting Series. As a writer, it is my ultimate goal to entertain my audience while teaching valuable lessons about life and what it means to be human.
To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly is ready to be sent at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Three days. Four competitors. One butterfly. One winner. The odds are stacked against 20-year-old Molly Weaver. But despite years of cruelty and neglect, Molly’s determination to find happiness and purpose in life is strong. Open doors lead her to new places while closed doors are off limits. Treacherous weather, dehydration, and tragic memories threaten her. Some of the competitors are willing to kill for the butterfly, putting Molly’s life in further jeopardy. Sharpay Wang, who believes she’s trapped in a hallucination, is the only one eager to help Molly. As time runs short, Molly bonds with her contenders and discovers a connection that ties them together in the real world. Will her feelings get in the way of catching the butterfly or will she figure out a way to save everyone?
In addition to writing novels, I am a playwright. My one-act play, Walking Off Pluto, premiered at the Laurel Mill Playhouse and went on to compete in the Maryland One Act Festival. My full-length play, Samson and Ms. Delilah, was recently selected for the Essential Theatre Playwriting Series. As a writer, it is my ultimate goal to entertain my audience while teaching valuable lessons about life and what it means to be human.
To Catch a Rainbow Butterfly is ready to be sent at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
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