Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
The End Begins follows Rai coping as the only sorceress among a human population during a time of war. To private special interests, she offers herself as a mercenary to gain knowledge of her past and of the world around her so she can live some kind of life.
For her latest assignment she must protect the Source of Sentient Free Will. This remains unclaimed by the C.U.T. the invading enemy force who’s taking control of any ‘alien’ technology that come into the world.
But as the population of non-human anomalies grows, it forces C.U.T. to go after the coveted fruit, so to understand all the strange occurrences happening, and take down anyone in their path. Against an army, aided by pockets of residential resistance, she must navigate the dangerous territory while racing against C.U.T. to stop them from their ultimate conquest.
The End Begins is a 120,000 word science/fantasy story, with sample chapters available upon request. Thank you for your consideration.
Aug 31, 2010
Query- The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess (second revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
It's another Monday and my third submission of "Lizzie."
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, is an 85,000 word, humorous, paranormal romance about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
Lizzie, a woman who lives for status and adores fashion, travel and the good life, learns the night of her unexpected arrival in Brooklyn, she can no longer travel on a whim or charge her expenses to the family business.
While tending her family's five little row houses in Brooklyn, Lizzie meets the ghost of her Aunt Annie May, a bawdy, talented Broadway performer, whose portal to this life is a tramp steamer and an old wooden trunk from the Belasco Theatre.
Aunt Annie tells Lizzie she is a direct descendent of the Moon Goddess and ironically, she must also relinquish all material possessions in order to remove a family curse and help clear the way for the true magic of love.
I read about you on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, and I believe my work will be of interest to you. Pasted to the bottom of this e-mail are the first ten pages of the book. Thank you for your consideration and time.
==============================
Excerpt:
Baptized Elizabeth Patricia Ann Brogan, my name is for both of my parents and my maternal Aunt Annie May. She was the wild one in the family and it is her blood, no doubt, that has caused all the ills of my life.
My Dad's reason for my behavior. "I'm telling you mother, it is the curse of Annie May come to visit upon us."
Of course, my Mother, Mary Elizabeth O'Connor Brogan, does not agree. "You'll not be calling me own baby sister a curse, Timothy Patrick Brogan."
It went deeper than Aunt Annie. It went back to the old days when they first came here and my mother had visions of pink and white ribbons and lace.
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan began when an anxious young couple, my parents, traveled three thousand miles from county Mayo, Ireland to settle in a strange land called Brooklyn. They worked hard and scraped all their pennies together to purchase a house. The same house and basement where I am currently trapped below ground. Two years later and a few more pennies down, they purchase another house, and so on until they own five.
The short version is: my father walks ten miles in the snow to find work. They wear nothing but tattered rags, eat dirt and are grateful to have it. They sacrifice so I can waste my time with loud music and boys. Today they are the poster kids for the successful immigrant; the boy with holes in his shoes becomes a millionaire.
Lizzie, mom and dad are rich. You on the other hand are poor.
That would be the heir apparent, Timothy Patrick Brogan II, born one year to the day of their marriage, currently a spry fifty-one.
Allow me to introduce the rest of the family.
Each of my other siblings come in short order in the next seven years. They are Michael Peter Brogan, eighteen months younger than Timothy, Moira Camille Brogan O'Malley, born two years later, and one year apart John Matthew and Eloise Mary Brogan Mulligan.
This is the Brogan family until my mother learns her premature menopause is myself in the pink. When I squirm into the world, the closest in age of my siblings, my sister Eloise, is fifteen and in high school.
Thus, I am the late onset, premenopausal accident of two middle-aged, Irish parents.
=============================
Thanks. Visit my blog:
http://ramblingsfromtheleft.wordpress.com/
Click here to read the first revision.
It's another Monday and my third submission of "Lizzie."
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, is an 85,000 word, humorous, paranormal romance about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
Lizzie, a woman who lives for status and adores fashion, travel and the good life, learns the night of her unexpected arrival in Brooklyn, she can no longer travel on a whim or charge her expenses to the family business.
While tending her family's five little row houses in Brooklyn, Lizzie meets the ghost of her Aunt Annie May, a bawdy, talented Broadway performer, whose portal to this life is a tramp steamer and an old wooden trunk from the Belasco Theatre.
Aunt Annie tells Lizzie she is a direct descendent of the Moon Goddess and ironically, she must also relinquish all material possessions in order to remove a family curse and help clear the way for the true magic of love.
I read about you on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, and I believe my work will be of interest to you. Pasted to the bottom of this e-mail are the first ten pages of the book. Thank you for your consideration and time.
==============================
Excerpt:
Baptized Elizabeth Patricia Ann Brogan, my name is for both of my parents and my maternal Aunt Annie May. She was the wild one in the family and it is her blood, no doubt, that has caused all the ills of my life.
My Dad's reason for my behavior. "I'm telling you mother, it is the curse of Annie May come to visit upon us."
Of course, my Mother, Mary Elizabeth O'Connor Brogan, does not agree. "You'll not be calling me own baby sister a curse, Timothy Patrick Brogan."
It went deeper than Aunt Annie. It went back to the old days when they first came here and my mother had visions of pink and white ribbons and lace.
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan began when an anxious young couple, my parents, traveled three thousand miles from county Mayo, Ireland to settle in a strange land called Brooklyn. They worked hard and scraped all their pennies together to purchase a house. The same house and basement where I am currently trapped below ground. Two years later and a few more pennies down, they purchase another house, and so on until they own five.
The short version is: my father walks ten miles in the snow to find work. They wear nothing but tattered rags, eat dirt and are grateful to have it. They sacrifice so I can waste my time with loud music and boys. Today they are the poster kids for the successful immigrant; the boy with holes in his shoes becomes a millionaire.
Lizzie, mom and dad are rich. You on the other hand are poor.
That would be the heir apparent, Timothy Patrick Brogan II, born one year to the day of their marriage, currently a spry fifty-one.
Allow me to introduce the rest of the family.
Each of my other siblings come in short order in the next seven years. They are Michael Peter Brogan, eighteen months younger than Timothy, Moira Camille Brogan O'Malley, born two years later, and one year apart John Matthew and Eloise Mary Brogan Mulligan.
This is the Brogan family until my mother learns her premature menopause is myself in the pink. When I squirm into the world, the closest in age of my siblings, my sister Eloise, is fifteen and in high school.
Thus, I am the late onset, premenopausal accident of two middle-aged, Irish parents.
=============================
Thanks. Visit my blog:
http://ramblingsfromtheleft.wordpress.com/
Aug 30, 2010
Query: The Frog Princes of Adelai
Dear Agent,
Risse cai Bricandor is a young noblewoman with a secret: she’s learning how to do magic, forbidden since the Great War nine hundred years ago. When she meets Prince Chyrian, who not only smells intriguingly like spice and salt but, unknowing, has potent personal magic, Risse throws herself into the politics of her country to machinate a union with him to access that magic.
But there are complications. First, Chyrian is from Sivar, the pariah country that incited the Great War. Risse’s family doesn’t want their eldest daughter to ally herself with a Sivarene, especially since Risse is the cousin and close friend of the heir to the throne, Princess Alysia. And Sivar has bigger plans for its prince than marrying a minor noble.
When Alysia is spirited away by her fairy godmother to “await her true love” (actually a form of protective custody) and the king is assassinated, Risse seizes the opportunity to become the new heir. With her new political power, she can gain control of Chyrian’s magic and reintroduce magic to the world. And Sivar even seems to help at first. But Risse learns that Sivar intends to take over Adelai, with her cooperation or without it. Alysia escapes her tower and wants her throne back. Risse’s magic becomes harder and harder to control. And to keep everything she’s gained, Risse must sacrifice Alysia, her family, and her country’s future—or she can give up everything she’s ever wanted to become the most hated person since the mages of the Great War.
The Frog Princes of Adelai is a fantasy novel complete at 109,000 words. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time.
Risse cai Bricandor is a young noblewoman with a secret: she’s learning how to do magic, forbidden since the Great War nine hundred years ago. When she meets Prince Chyrian, who not only smells intriguingly like spice and salt but, unknowing, has potent personal magic, Risse throws herself into the politics of her country to machinate a union with him to access that magic.
But there are complications. First, Chyrian is from Sivar, the pariah country that incited the Great War. Risse’s family doesn’t want their eldest daughter to ally herself with a Sivarene, especially since Risse is the cousin and close friend of the heir to the throne, Princess Alysia. And Sivar has bigger plans for its prince than marrying a minor noble.
When Alysia is spirited away by her fairy godmother to “await her true love” (actually a form of protective custody) and the king is assassinated, Risse seizes the opportunity to become the new heir. With her new political power, she can gain control of Chyrian’s magic and reintroduce magic to the world. And Sivar even seems to help at first. But Risse learns that Sivar intends to take over Adelai, with her cooperation or without it. Alysia escapes her tower and wants her throne back. Risse’s magic becomes harder and harder to control. And to keep everything she’s gained, Risse must sacrifice Alysia, her family, and her country’s future—or she can give up everything she’s ever wanted to become the most hated person since the mages of the Great War.
The Frog Princes of Adelai is a fantasy novel complete at 109,000 words. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time.
Query - Bond of Darkness (Final Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Thanks to all of the comments who have pushed me to an MC-driven query. I hope you all enjoy this last version.
When a voice in Valence's head warns him of a coming war, he ignores it. His ignorance only lasts until he realizes he's faced this adversary before--as a young boy when he killed a friend. The act cast him into exile from the Lunata and he's forced to live among the other races, all of which fear his kind.
Traveling through his homeland, Valence sees the spread of the Darkness. It infects, claims, and ultimately destroys its victims. While he flees the infection, its influence grows. Creatures hunt him, servants seek to destroy him and the conspiracy behind the Darkness grows larger than he thought possible.
As the Darkness' grip on the land tightens, Valence is determined to stop it. He must shed the stigma of his race, but more importantly, do so while he attempts to unify a nation against an enemy they cannot see.
BOND OF DARKNESS is an epic fantasy, complete at 115,000 words. It tells the traditional hero’s quest while introducing an enemy far from demon lords and omnipotent gods. I have been published in the Stockpot, an undergraduate literary journal and the Sentinel, a county-circulated newspaper. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Justin W. Parente
Writing as J.W. Parente
Click here to read the first revision.
Thanks to all of the comments who have pushed me to an MC-driven query. I hope you all enjoy this last version.
When a voice in Valence's head warns him of a coming war, he ignores it. His ignorance only lasts until he realizes he's faced this adversary before--as a young boy when he killed a friend. The act cast him into exile from the Lunata and he's forced to live among the other races, all of which fear his kind.
Traveling through his homeland, Valence sees the spread of the Darkness. It infects, claims, and ultimately destroys its victims. While he flees the infection, its influence grows. Creatures hunt him, servants seek to destroy him and the conspiracy behind the Darkness grows larger than he thought possible.
As the Darkness' grip on the land tightens, Valence is determined to stop it. He must shed the stigma of his race, but more importantly, do so while he attempts to unify a nation against an enemy they cannot see.
BOND OF DARKNESS is an epic fantasy, complete at 115,000 words. It tells the traditional hero’s quest while introducing an enemy far from demon lords and omnipotent gods. I have been published in the Stockpot, an undergraduate literary journal and the Sentinel, a county-circulated newspaper. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Justin W. Parente
Writing as J.W. Parente
Query - Tainted Legacy
Dear (named agent)
Following the guidelines found on your website, I enclose the synopsis and first 3 chapters of my historical novel TAINTED LEGACY for your consideration.
It's 1913, and domestic servant Lizzy Parker thinks she has hit rock bottom when she is imprisoned for a crime she did not commit, but on her release she discovers her troubles are far from over.
Her fragile, newly rebuilt life is shattered by the kidnapping of her younger sister, and Lizzy is forced to enlist the help of someone who has already let her down once; a man with his own long-held secrets.
When Lizzy then discovers those secrets are even darker than she’d imagined, she has very little time to decide whether or not she can trust him. Either way, her decision will make the difference between life and death for more than one person.
Tainted Legacy is complete at 98,000 words, and I believe it will appeal to those who enjoy master-servant stories with an edge, such as Julian Fellowes’s Gosford Park, and his forthcoming ITV drama: Downton Abbey.
Following the guidelines found on your website, I enclose the synopsis and first 3 chapters of my historical novel TAINTED LEGACY for your consideration.
It's 1913, and domestic servant Lizzy Parker thinks she has hit rock bottom when she is imprisoned for a crime she did not commit, but on her release she discovers her troubles are far from over.
Her fragile, newly rebuilt life is shattered by the kidnapping of her younger sister, and Lizzy is forced to enlist the help of someone who has already let her down once; a man with his own long-held secrets.
When Lizzy then discovers those secrets are even darker than she’d imagined, she has very little time to decide whether or not she can trust him. Either way, her decision will make the difference between life and death for more than one person.
Tainted Legacy is complete at 98,000 words, and I believe it will appeal to those who enjoy master-servant stories with an edge, such as Julian Fellowes’s Gosford Park, and his forthcoming ITV drama: Downton Abbey.
Aug 29, 2010
Query - Sub Rosa
Rome, 58 AD. Aemilius Valerius is back from the army. His father is dead, his sister is divorced, his mad uncle is obsessed with home renovations, and his new wife has a favour to ask – can her snarky adolescent Julia daughter come to stay?
Julia has stormed out of home because her father got her engaged, and she’s not happy about it. Neither is Valerius, because now she’s under his roof, and he has enough to worry about – unless he can get a job offer soon he’ll never have the political career expected of a man of his rank.
Sent by his wife to sound out the fiancé, Valerius accidentally lands a job. Albanus is murdered, and Valerius finds himself working with the investigator Atreus, a plebeian with a chip on his shoulder, to discover the killer. Mad Uncle Maro promised it would be a smart career move, but that was before a second senator turned up dead. Now everything points towards a corrupt legion, an imperial assassin, and the emperor Nero’s mother Agrippina. It might have been smarter to accept that honorary priesthood, stupid hat or not.
There are the added complications of an ex-brother-in-law who fell on his sword, a slum gangster who wants Atreus dead, political pressures, class divisions, and Valerius’ ongoing domestic hassles with his sister, wife, stepdaughter and assorted slaves.
Sub Rosa, a historical mystery, is complete at 129 000 words. It is my first novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Burke
Julia has stormed out of home because her father got her engaged, and she’s not happy about it. Neither is Valerius, because now she’s under his roof, and he has enough to worry about – unless he can get a job offer soon he’ll never have the political career expected of a man of his rank.
Sent by his wife to sound out the fiancé, Valerius accidentally lands a job. Albanus is murdered, and Valerius finds himself working with the investigator Atreus, a plebeian with a chip on his shoulder, to discover the killer. Mad Uncle Maro promised it would be a smart career move, but that was before a second senator turned up dead. Now everything points towards a corrupt legion, an imperial assassin, and the emperor Nero’s mother Agrippina. It might have been smarter to accept that honorary priesthood, stupid hat or not.
There are the added complications of an ex-brother-in-law who fell on his sword, a slum gangster who wants Atreus dead, political pressures, class divisions, and Valerius’ ongoing domestic hassles with his sister, wife, stepdaughter and assorted slaves.
Sub Rosa, a historical mystery, is complete at 129 000 words. It is my first novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Burke
QUERY - The Crystor
Dear Agent:
Seventeen-year-old Kira Edwards can deal with her friend, Lydia, being from another world, but when she finds out Lydia’s brother has the heart of a wild cat and wants to eat her, well, that’s just not acceptable.
When a photo shoot in the mountains turns into a night of terror, Kira is forced to decide between returning to her life of seclusion or saving Lydia’s life. If she returns, Lydia will die and Kira will forget her friend ever existed. But if she chooses to accept the Crystor, a magical healing charm, she’ll be bound to her friend forever and be thrust into a world where an ancient curse turns a Royal into a ferocious beast.
Lydia’s brother, Octavion, is just such a creature and if he can’t control his primal instincts, Kira will be his next victim. It’s a good thing this spicy little red head has a plan. If Kira can find a way to tame the beast raging inside him, he just might let her into his heart—which is where she wants to be. If she can’t, she’ll pay the ultimate price with her life.
THE CRYSTOR, a YA paranormal romance complete at 103,000 words, features a strong female protagonist who develops into a kick-butt warrior. This novel has the potential to crossover into the New Adult market and will appeal to the same audience as Shiver and Graceling.
The complete manuscript is available for your review.
Sincerely,
Christine (C.K.) Bryant
Seventeen-year-old Kira Edwards can deal with her friend, Lydia, being from another world, but when she finds out Lydia’s brother has the heart of a wild cat and wants to eat her, well, that’s just not acceptable.
When a photo shoot in the mountains turns into a night of terror, Kira is forced to decide between returning to her life of seclusion or saving Lydia’s life. If she returns, Lydia will die and Kira will forget her friend ever existed. But if she chooses to accept the Crystor, a magical healing charm, she’ll be bound to her friend forever and be thrust into a world where an ancient curse turns a Royal into a ferocious beast.
Lydia’s brother, Octavion, is just such a creature and if he can’t control his primal instincts, Kira will be his next victim. It’s a good thing this spicy little red head has a plan. If Kira can find a way to tame the beast raging inside him, he just might let her into his heart—which is where she wants to be. If she can’t, she’ll pay the ultimate price with her life.
THE CRYSTOR, a YA paranormal romance complete at 103,000 words, features a strong female protagonist who develops into a kick-butt warrior. This novel has the potential to crossover into the New Adult market and will appeal to the same audience as Shiver and Graceling.
The complete manuscript is available for your review.
Sincerely,
Christine (C.K.) Bryant
Aug 28, 2010
Query - Bond of Darkness (1st Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Valence hears a voice in his head offering him advice. He struggles to ignore it, fearing the Darkness' return. For all he knows, the voice could be a manifestation of its unrelenting evil.
The Darkness infects everything it touches. Valence cannot be sure if he is one such victim. If he is, he could be aiding in the return of Balter Mithrus, the creator of the Darkness and a power the world is better off without.
Wielding the Pearls of Mithrus grounds Valence and allows him to see his tie to the new war against the Darkness. Mithrus demands his power returned or threatens to unleash the infection into the world. Creatures hunt Valence, servants seek to destroy him and the conspiracy behind the Darkness grows larger than he thought possible. Pitted against the oldest evil in the land, he must save the lives of those he has never met and hope to make it out alive.
BOND OF DARKNESS is an epic fantasy, complete at 115,000 words. It tells the traditional hero’s quest while introducing an enemy far from demon lords and omnipotent gods. I have been published in the Stockpot, an undergraduate literary journal and the Sentinel, a county-circulated newspaper. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Valence hears a voice in his head offering him advice. He struggles to ignore it, fearing the Darkness' return. For all he knows, the voice could be a manifestation of its unrelenting evil.
The Darkness infects everything it touches. Valence cannot be sure if he is one such victim. If he is, he could be aiding in the return of Balter Mithrus, the creator of the Darkness and a power the world is better off without.
Wielding the Pearls of Mithrus grounds Valence and allows him to see his tie to the new war against the Darkness. Mithrus demands his power returned or threatens to unleash the infection into the world. Creatures hunt Valence, servants seek to destroy him and the conspiracy behind the Darkness grows larger than he thought possible. Pitted against the oldest evil in the land, he must save the lives of those he has never met and hope to make it out alive.
BOND OF DARKNESS is an epic fantasy, complete at 115,000 words. It tells the traditional hero’s quest while introducing an enemy far from demon lords and omnipotent gods. I have been published in the Stockpot, an undergraduate literary journal and the Sentinel, a county-circulated newspaper. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Aug 27, 2010
Query - The Paw Shake Portal
Dear (Agent):
Preoccupied with worries about moving to a new town and feeling left out among his friends, eleven-year-old Alex Locklin doesn’t think much of the stray cat he finds in his back yard. But when his little sister insists they give the cat a collar, Alex soon discovers that this isn’t an ordinary animal. Her name is Lumina, and she’s a cat that can turn into a human.
Lumina appears as a human to anyone who gives her a collar in hopes of forming a “bond of trust” with that owner. An animal’s friendship with a person makes them healthier and stronger, and Lumina needs all the strength she can get in order to fight against an army of people-hating cats. Alex is desperate to get his mind off his troubles and happily forms the bond of trust, but instead of helping fight the enemy, he’s determined turn the cat army around by proving himself to be an ally of animals.
When he winds up in the principal’s office for skipping class to go to the far away Animal World, and then gets scratched by an angry cat, Alex begins to doubt his ability to help Lumina. But he feels a tug on his heart. There has to be a way to change the hearts of the spiteful animals without accidentally causing trouble – and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to find it.
THE PAW SHAKE PORTAL is a middle grade novel complete at 29,000 words. (Reason for querying specific agent.)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
(Thanks in advance to anyone who offers advice!)
Preoccupied with worries about moving to a new town and feeling left out among his friends, eleven-year-old Alex Locklin doesn’t think much of the stray cat he finds in his back yard. But when his little sister insists they give the cat a collar, Alex soon discovers that this isn’t an ordinary animal. Her name is Lumina, and she’s a cat that can turn into a human.
Lumina appears as a human to anyone who gives her a collar in hopes of forming a “bond of trust” with that owner. An animal’s friendship with a person makes them healthier and stronger, and Lumina needs all the strength she can get in order to fight against an army of people-hating cats. Alex is desperate to get his mind off his troubles and happily forms the bond of trust, but instead of helping fight the enemy, he’s determined turn the cat army around by proving himself to be an ally of animals.
When he winds up in the principal’s office for skipping class to go to the far away Animal World, and then gets scratched by an angry cat, Alex begins to doubt his ability to help Lumina. But he feels a tug on his heart. There has to be a way to change the hearts of the spiteful animals without accidentally causing trouble – and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to find it.
THE PAW SHAKE PORTAL is a middle grade novel complete at 29,000 words. (Reason for querying specific agent.)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
(Thanks in advance to anyone who offers advice!)
Aug 26, 2010
Query- The End Begins (2nd Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear __________,
The End Begins is a 120,000 word epic sci-fi/fantasy story that follows Rai, an outcast seeking her lost parents while she copes as the only sorceress among a human population during a time of war. To private special interests, she offers herself as a mercenary to gain knowledge of her past and of the world around her.
For her latest assignment she must protect the Source of Sentient Free Will. Though to the common man it appears to be an apple, it remains unclaimed by the invading forces of the C.U.T., the Collation of United Territories. They close in on all sides, taking control of any ‘alien’ technology that has come into this world.
But as the population of anomalies like Rai grows, it forces the C.U.T. to go after the coveted fruit and take down anyone in their path. Against an army, aided by pockets of residential resistance, she must navigate the dangerous territory while racing against the C.U.T. to stop them from their ultimate conquest.
Sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your consideration.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear __________,
The End Begins is a 120,000 word epic sci-fi/fantasy story that follows Rai, an outcast seeking her lost parents while she copes as the only sorceress among a human population during a time of war. To private special interests, she offers herself as a mercenary to gain knowledge of her past and of the world around her.
For her latest assignment she must protect the Source of Sentient Free Will. Though to the common man it appears to be an apple, it remains unclaimed by the invading forces of the C.U.T., the Collation of United Territories. They close in on all sides, taking control of any ‘alien’ technology that has come into this world.
But as the population of anomalies like Rai grows, it forces the C.U.T. to go after the coveted fruit and take down anyone in their path. Against an army, aided by pockets of residential resistance, she must navigate the dangerous territory while racing against the C.U.T. to stop them from their ultimate conquest.
Sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your consideration.
Query- The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess (first revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Genre question: The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words is about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
OR
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words, is humorous, light paranormal, about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
While tending her family's five little row houses in Brooklyn, Lizzie meets the ghost of her Aunt Annie May, a bawdy, talented Broadway performer, whose portal to this life is a tramp steamer and an old wooden trunk from the Belasco Theatre.
Aunt Annie tells Lizzie she is a direct descendent of the Moon Goddess and must use the Celtic Sacred Book of Spells to remove a family curse and help clear the way for the true magic of love.
I read about you on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, and I believe my work meets your criteria. Pasted to the bottom of this e-mail are the first ten pages of the book. Thank you for your consideration and time.
Respectfully,
===============================
Excerpt:
Later that evening after Joe leaves for his evening shift, I am reclining on the loveseat basking in the glow of great sex, when I hear her cough. "Aw, can't you find another portal, like in the Port Authority? I can put your trunk in a locker and lose the key. You'll be known as the Ghost of Arrivals and Departures."
"Watch your mouth. You're supposed to set things straight and all you've managed to do so far, is play patty-cakes with the Latin and get drunk with the harlot."
I cannot believe I am arguing with a ghost. What the hell, Joe is working and I haven't anything better to do.
"Of course you have something better to do."
"You read my mind?"
"I can't always. Some things I am not allowed to see or know."
"Can other people see you?"
"I tell you true, they cannot."
"So if Joe were in the room, he wouldn't be able to see you?"
"This is so." She takes another long drag on the empty cigarette holder and smiles. "Though I've been here 'enuf time to know the shenanigans what goes on in this room."
"Are you sure no one can see or hear you?"
"I have visited with your mum over the years."
"Not my father?"
She sits on the top of my kitchen counter. "No, your da thinks it’s a ball of malarkey. You can no see, if you don't believe."
"I'm thinking you're not telling me the real reason you came and I'd love to smudge you out of my life."
"You're an ungrateful sod."
I ignore her and ask, "You follow me when I go out?"
"There are different levels of afterlife. Sorry to say, I am bound to small areas where the trunk resides. I have enjoyed watching the children play in the park and I like the hardware lady. Since Spain, I've been with Esther. Your mum worried you might find me too early."
"Joe is coming back tomorrow."
"I can't watch when you are playing with the boy or when you are tending your lotions and such in the bath." She drops off the counter.
"You can't watch me when I … you know?"
"No, and if I were able, I would not."
Genre question: The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words is about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
OR
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words, is humorous, light paranormal, about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
While tending her family's five little row houses in Brooklyn, Lizzie meets the ghost of her Aunt Annie May, a bawdy, talented Broadway performer, whose portal to this life is a tramp steamer and an old wooden trunk from the Belasco Theatre.
Aunt Annie tells Lizzie she is a direct descendent of the Moon Goddess and must use the Celtic Sacred Book of Spells to remove a family curse and help clear the way for the true magic of love.
I read about you on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, and I believe my work meets your criteria. Pasted to the bottom of this e-mail are the first ten pages of the book. Thank you for your consideration and time.
Respectfully,
===============================
Excerpt:
Later that evening after Joe leaves for his evening shift, I am reclining on the loveseat basking in the glow of great sex, when I hear her cough. "Aw, can't you find another portal, like in the Port Authority? I can put your trunk in a locker and lose the key. You'll be known as the Ghost of Arrivals and Departures."
"Watch your mouth. You're supposed to set things straight and all you've managed to do so far, is play patty-cakes with the Latin and get drunk with the harlot."
I cannot believe I am arguing with a ghost. What the hell, Joe is working and I haven't anything better to do.
"Of course you have something better to do."
"You read my mind?"
"I can't always. Some things I am not allowed to see or know."
"Can other people see you?"
"I tell you true, they cannot."
"So if Joe were in the room, he wouldn't be able to see you?"
"This is so." She takes another long drag on the empty cigarette holder and smiles. "Though I've been here 'enuf time to know the shenanigans what goes on in this room."
"Are you sure no one can see or hear you?"
"I have visited with your mum over the years."
"Not my father?"
She sits on the top of my kitchen counter. "No, your da thinks it’s a ball of malarkey. You can no see, if you don't believe."
"I'm thinking you're not telling me the real reason you came and I'd love to smudge you out of my life."
"You're an ungrateful sod."
I ignore her and ask, "You follow me when I go out?"
"There are different levels of afterlife. Sorry to say, I am bound to small areas where the trunk resides. I have enjoyed watching the children play in the park and I like the hardware lady. Since Spain, I've been with Esther. Your mum worried you might find me too early."
"Joe is coming back tomorrow."
"I can't watch when you are playing with the boy or when you are tending your lotions and such in the bath." She drops off the counter.
"You can't watch me when I … you know?"
"No, and if I were able, I would not."
Aug 24, 2010
Query - 468 MILES TO NASHVILLE
Dear Agent,
I am seeking representation for my contemporary YA novel 468 MILES TO NASHVILLE, complete at 65,000 words.
Kay Nelson is a pizza busgirl who knows she's meant for more than small-town Illinois. So when she runs into Naomi Pierce, a country singer who needs her help, she takes it as her chance to get away for good. Together, Kay and Naomi embark on a 468-mile road trip to escape Naomi's vicious, leather-jacketed kidnappers, and land safely at the country star's Nashville mansion. But to Kay, the distance between here and there feels a million times longer when the world thinks she's the one who kidnapped Naomi.
Naomi is a magnet for attention, which is exactly what Kay doesn't want. From twelve-year-olds looking for an autograph, to guys stalking them on the side of the road, no one can be trusted not to tell the police—or People Magazine—where they are. Kay takes responsibility upon herself to keep the country star from getting in trouble, but it's only a matter of time before Naomi does something really stupid. Like holding an impromptu concert on the sidewalk, sneaking into bars, getting drunk on camera, and inviting her famous ex to join the caravan southward.
Naomi seems bent on entering Nashville with a bang, and the night of the Music City Industry Awards, her wish comes true in a way Kay's been dreading all along. But when circumstances switch around and Kay's the one in trouble, will Kay and Naomi's new friendship survive? Will Kay ever make it home?
I look forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely,
Gracie Bea Winterton
I am seeking representation for my contemporary YA novel 468 MILES TO NASHVILLE, complete at 65,000 words.
Kay Nelson is a pizza busgirl who knows she's meant for more than small-town Illinois. So when she runs into Naomi Pierce, a country singer who needs her help, she takes it as her chance to get away for good. Together, Kay and Naomi embark on a 468-mile road trip to escape Naomi's vicious, leather-jacketed kidnappers, and land safely at the country star's Nashville mansion. But to Kay, the distance between here and there feels a million times longer when the world thinks she's the one who kidnapped Naomi.
Naomi is a magnet for attention, which is exactly what Kay doesn't want. From twelve-year-olds looking for an autograph, to guys stalking them on the side of the road, no one can be trusted not to tell the police—or People Magazine—where they are. Kay takes responsibility upon herself to keep the country star from getting in trouble, but it's only a matter of time before Naomi does something really stupid. Like holding an impromptu concert on the sidewalk, sneaking into bars, getting drunk on camera, and inviting her famous ex to join the caravan southward.
Naomi seems bent on entering Nashville with a bang, and the night of the Music City Industry Awards, her wish comes true in a way Kay's been dreading all along. But when circumstances switch around and Kay's the one in trouble, will Kay and Naomi's new friendship survive? Will Kay ever make it home?
I look forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely,
Gracie Bea Winterton
Query- The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess
In each query the paragraph about how I found the agent changed. They are all done individually. I have not yet sent this to anyone.
Dear _____________:
Lizzie, the over indulged baby of the Brogan clan, lives a life of privilege until the morning of her thirtieth birthday, when her older brother delivers her to a Brooklyn basement apartment she calls her cave dwelling. Concerned Lizzie will remain the baby of the family, he employs a formula of tough love and hard work to help her grow up.
For the first month, she believes all she must face in her new life is the responsibility and collective confusion of five little row houses. Not quite. Soon, Lizzie meets the ghost of her Aunt Annie May, a bawdy, talented Broadway performer, whose portal to this life is a tramp steamer and an old wooden trunk from the Belasco theatre.
During the next two years, while Lizzie discovers the secrets of the five houses, she also learns she is a direct descendent of The Moon Goddess, the Celtic Goddess of Love. By the summer soltice, using the book of sacred scribes, she must remove a curse, reverse each disaster that has plagued her and help clear the way for the true magic of love.
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words, is humorous, women's fiction about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
My eighteen-year career in community development and children's not-for-profit, has provided me numerous opportunities to hone my written and verbal skills. I am a comfortable public speaker, possessed the marketing skills necessary to gain valuable funding for our youth, and can create a network of support for my stories.
I found your name the first time on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, read your blog every day, and I believe my work meets your criteria. I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your consideration and time.
Respectively,
Florence Fois (a/k/a Cronin)
My blog: http://ramblingsfromtheleft.wordpress.com.
e-mail: florencefois@aol.com
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and the Moon Goddess By: Florence Fois
The late bloomer ...
"The term is used metaphorically to describe a child or adolescent who develops more slowly than others in their age group, but eventually catches up and in some cases overtakes their peers, or an adult whose talent or genius in a particular field only appears later in life than is normal – in some cases only in old age."
Paraphrased from an Internet Encyclopedia
CHAPTER
My name is Lizzie and I live in a cave in Brooklyn. No, not like the Indian caves inside the cliffs which rise above the Hudson River. This is what my brother Timothy calls a modern boutique single, real estate jargon for a Brooklyn cave dwelling, known as a basement apartment rising above the concrete foundation of a row house.
Until the lovely May morning of my thirtieth birthday, my life was one of leisure and discovery, a series of adventures, the tastes and sounds of traversing the globe and each birthday, a magnificent event with a deluge of presents befitting the "baby" of the family.
Dear _____________:
Lizzie, the over indulged baby of the Brogan clan, lives a life of privilege until the morning of her thirtieth birthday, when her older brother delivers her to a Brooklyn basement apartment she calls her cave dwelling. Concerned Lizzie will remain the baby of the family, he employs a formula of tough love and hard work to help her grow up.
For the first month, she believes all she must face in her new life is the responsibility and collective confusion of five little row houses. Not quite. Soon, Lizzie meets the ghost of her Aunt Annie May, a bawdy, talented Broadway performer, whose portal to this life is a tramp steamer and an old wooden trunk from the Belasco theatre.
During the next two years, while Lizzie discovers the secrets of the five houses, she also learns she is a direct descendent of The Moon Goddess, the Celtic Goddess of Love. By the summer soltice, using the book of sacred scribes, she must remove a curse, reverse each disaster that has plagued her and help clear the way for the true magic of love.
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words, is humorous, women's fiction about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
My eighteen-year career in community development and children's not-for-profit, has provided me numerous opportunities to hone my written and verbal skills. I am a comfortable public speaker, possessed the marketing skills necessary to gain valuable funding for our youth, and can create a network of support for my stories.
I found your name the first time on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, read your blog every day, and I believe my work meets your criteria. I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your consideration and time.
Respectively,
Florence Fois (a/k/a Cronin)
My blog: http://ramblingsfromtheleft.wordpress.com.
e-mail: florencefois@aol.com
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and the Moon Goddess By: Florence Fois
The late bloomer ...
"The term is used metaphorically to describe a child or adolescent who develops more slowly than others in their age group, but eventually catches up and in some cases overtakes their peers, or an adult whose talent or genius in a particular field only appears later in life than is normal – in some cases only in old age."
Paraphrased from an Internet Encyclopedia
CHAPTER
My name is Lizzie and I live in a cave in Brooklyn. No, not like the Indian caves inside the cliffs which rise above the Hudson River. This is what my brother Timothy calls a modern boutique single, real estate jargon for a Brooklyn cave dwelling, known as a basement apartment rising above the concrete foundation of a row house.
Until the lovely May morning of my thirtieth birthday, my life was one of leisure and discovery, a series of adventures, the tastes and sounds of traversing the globe and each birthday, a magnificent event with a deluge of presents befitting the "baby" of the family.
Aug 23, 2010
Query - Bond of Darkness
Dear [agent]
Valence fears he's losing grip on reality. He hears a voice enticing him with questionable knowledge and claiming to be his guide, but it could be the Darkness leading him to the cause the fall of his beloved homeland.
He believes the Darkness, an infection that enslaves the heart, has returned and with it the warlord who created it. Yet Valence has taken something from the warlord. The Pearls of Mithrus were the warlord's source of power, and now Valence is their master. If he can learn to control them, he can stop the infection before it consumes the land.
With a life in shambles and the memory of a murdered friend following him, becoming a savior to the people is the farthest thing from Valence's mind. He must choose between the lives of those he has never met and his own own sanity at the hands of an ancient evil.
BOND OF DARKNESS is an Epic Fantasy, complete at 115,000 words. I have been published in the Stockpot, an undergraduate literary journal and the Sentinel, a county-circulated newspaper. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
J.W. Parente
Valence fears he's losing grip on reality. He hears a voice enticing him with questionable knowledge and claiming to be his guide, but it could be the Darkness leading him to the cause the fall of his beloved homeland.
He believes the Darkness, an infection that enslaves the heart, has returned and with it the warlord who created it. Yet Valence has taken something from the warlord. The Pearls of Mithrus were the warlord's source of power, and now Valence is their master. If he can learn to control them, he can stop the infection before it consumes the land.
With a life in shambles and the memory of a murdered friend following him, becoming a savior to the people is the farthest thing from Valence's mind. He must choose between the lives of those he has never met and his own own sanity at the hands of an ancient evil.
BOND OF DARKNESS is an Epic Fantasy, complete at 115,000 words. I have been published in the Stockpot, an undergraduate literary journal and the Sentinel, a county-circulated newspaper. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
J.W. Parente
Query - The End Begins (Revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Publisher,
The End Begins is a 120,000 word epic sci-fi/fantasy story that follows Raiana Tasis Draco, an outcast seeking her lost biological parents while she copes as the only sorceress among a sterile population during a time of war.
To private special interests, she offers herself as a mercenary to gain knowledge of her past and of the world around her.
Her latest assignment takes her to an abandoned fort; she’s assigned to protect the First Source of Sentient Free Will, which to the common man appear to be only an apple, which remains unclaimed by the invading forces of the C.U.T., the Collation of United Territories, as they close in on all sides and take control of all ‘alien’ power and technology that have come into this world; the most vital piece was the Gate Dimension Device, capable of creating wormholes to travel not only the stars, but possibly to parallel worlds.
But the presence of a young, lost, lonely traveler from another world, who appeared without use of the device, forces the C.U.T.’ to go after the coveted fruit, taking down anyone in their path, hellbent on victory.
Against an army, Rai must navigate the dangerous territory with Kale Kaortan, a retired soldier of valor, as he guides them through the country he strove to protect, aided by pockets of residential resistance; racing against the C.U.T. to stop them from their ultimate conquest.
But what are her chances against odds so great?
Dear Publisher,
The End Begins is a 120,000 word epic sci-fi/fantasy story that follows Raiana Tasis Draco, an outcast seeking her lost biological parents while she copes as the only sorceress among a sterile population during a time of war.
To private special interests, she offers herself as a mercenary to gain knowledge of her past and of the world around her.
Her latest assignment takes her to an abandoned fort; she’s assigned to protect the First Source of Sentient Free Will, which to the common man appear to be only an apple, which remains unclaimed by the invading forces of the C.U.T., the Collation of United Territories, as they close in on all sides and take control of all ‘alien’ power and technology that have come into this world; the most vital piece was the Gate Dimension Device, capable of creating wormholes to travel not only the stars, but possibly to parallel worlds.
But the presence of a young, lost, lonely traveler from another world, who appeared without use of the device, forces the C.U.T.’ to go after the coveted fruit, taking down anyone in their path, hellbent on victory.
Against an army, Rai must navigate the dangerous territory with Kale Kaortan, a retired soldier of valor, as he guides them through the country he strove to protect, aided by pockets of residential resistance; racing against the C.U.T. to stop them from their ultimate conquest.
But what are her chances against odds so great?
Aug 22, 2010
Query- Motherless Day
Dear Agent,
I am writing to you about my picture book Motherless Day. It is complete at 600 words and I am querying you exclusively.
Little Kali Krumpets is the only child in Miss Piddlewink's pre-school class without a mother. When her class decides to make cards on the Friday before Mother's Day, Kali decides to figure out what makes a mommy so special. Her friends Emily and Griffin tell her all about there mothers, but Kali isn't convinced. Her dads do the same things, so why are mothers so important?
In the end, she realizes that a mother is just a parent that loves you, just like her two dads. Miss Piddlewink helps her realize all parents are special and that family should be celebrated every day.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
ME
I am writing to you about my picture book Motherless Day. It is complete at 600 words and I am querying you exclusively.
Little Kali Krumpets is the only child in Miss Piddlewink's pre-school class without a mother. When her class decides to make cards on the Friday before Mother's Day, Kali decides to figure out what makes a mommy so special. Her friends Emily and Griffin tell her all about there mothers, but Kali isn't convinced. Her dads do the same things, so why are mothers so important?
In the end, she realizes that a mother is just a parent that loves you, just like her two dads. Miss Piddlewink helps her realize all parents are special and that family should be celebrated every day.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
ME
Query- Eiffel Flower (first revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent,
Sorority girl Rose Jastone lives a meticulously planned life. She is the lively social chair of Delta Delta Gamma, a model student, and punk rock enthusiast who can throw on a pair of Chuck's when occasioned. Trying to avoid the responsiblity of planning her post-graduate future, however, she signs up for a care-free spring semester at the University of Paris, Panthénon-Sorbonne.
Paris turns out to be more than Rose's Philosophy major logic bargained for. Stuck dorming with Noemi Brousarre, a celebutante roommate with a few fifth-life crises of her own, Rose is thrown into a world of Parisian drama that makes sorority life seem like a stroll though le Jardin des Tuileries.
Rose finds herself responsible for planning the renowned Crillon Ball and reuniting Noemi with her estranged sister Sonia. She also has to juggle a crack-pot study group and mixed feelings for an enigmatic figure skater. Left mediating the problems of the city around her, Rose wonders if she'll ever bloom into the “Eiffel Flower” Noemi promised, or if she will be stuck following the life-plan her parents and friends have already constructed for her.
Eiffel Flower is a women's fiction novel, complete at 92,000 words. Based on your interview with the blog "Mother.Write.", I felt like my manuscript may be a good fit for your agency. Thank you for taking the time to consider my query.
Sincerely,
Author
Dear Agent,
Sorority girl Rose Jastone lives a meticulously planned life. She is the lively social chair of Delta Delta Gamma, a model student, and punk rock enthusiast who can throw on a pair of Chuck's when occasioned. Trying to avoid the responsiblity of planning her post-graduate future, however, she signs up for a care-free spring semester at the University of Paris, Panthénon-Sorbonne.
Paris turns out to be more than Rose's Philosophy major logic bargained for. Stuck dorming with Noemi Brousarre, a celebutante roommate with a few fifth-life crises of her own, Rose is thrown into a world of Parisian drama that makes sorority life seem like a stroll though le Jardin des Tuileries.
Rose finds herself responsible for planning the renowned Crillon Ball and reuniting Noemi with her estranged sister Sonia. She also has to juggle a crack-pot study group and mixed feelings for an enigmatic figure skater. Left mediating the problems of the city around her, Rose wonders if she'll ever bloom into the “Eiffel Flower” Noemi promised, or if she will be stuck following the life-plan her parents and friends have already constructed for her.
Eiffel Flower is a women's fiction novel, complete at 92,000 words. Based on your interview with the blog "Mother.Write.", I felt like my manuscript may be a good fit for your agency. Thank you for taking the time to consider my query.
Sincerely,
Author
QUERY- GREEN-EYED MONSTER (with sample pages)
Dear AGENT,
After PERSONAL TIDBIT, I believe my urban fantasy novel, GREEN-EYED MONSTER complete at 80,000 words, may be a good fit for your representation.
Rookie detective Lucy Santone measures everything with the black and white rulebook of the Detroit Metro Police Department. Since the Incident, she also sees demons crawling on suspects, a halo above the cleaning lady, and a stalker-angel who claims to be her Guardian. Denial’s easy until the hallucinations try to kill her.
During an arson investigation, she is attacked by a hellion and wonders if her delusions are all that delusional. She learns the burned property belongs to a non-profit organization headed by Levi Johanneson, a hometown athlete who sold his soul for politics.
Levi's not the only player in town, however, another demon is vying for control over the broken souls of Detroit. Lucy can't fight them both, and when each offers her an alliance, she is forced to make a choice: the citizens she swore to protect, or her own ticket to the pie in the sky. Suddenly the rulebook looks a little gray.
Similar to Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files series, GREEN-EYED MONSTER is a fantastical twist on detective fiction, researched through interviews with police/arson experts and utilizing my degree in Criminal Justice. I have a synopsis for a potential sequel.
The first five pages are included below. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
NAME
CONTACT INFO
SAMPLE PAGES: GREEN-EYED MONSTER
I imagined myself setting fire to the filing cabinet. Crispy carbon falling around my desk, the tan metal contraption belching smoke from mouth-like drawers. Manila folders, crisp eight-by-eleven-inch papers, meticulously labeled photos, and coroner's reports, all burning in a roar of blood-red flames.
A smile spread low and lazy across my face, tugging my cheeks upwards like a gentle lover, when someone kicked my chair.
"Oh sorry, did I wake you?" he said.
I turned to find Forest scrutinizing me with his unnerving gray eyes.
"Unghs," I affirmed.
He sipped from a steaming mug and set an identical one on my desk. Beads of coffee clung to his silver mustache. His hair had once been a ruddy brown, but now was streaked with gray. The 'stache, however, was almost white, suckling at the coffee as if trying to reclaim its youth.
"You look like shit, Luce."
I frowned, cupped my hands around the hot mug, and said, "You look old."
"I prefer wise."
"You look wizened."
Forest snorted. His eyes panned over the chaos of my desk, scanning the folders piled around a jumble of papers, glossy pictures, and newspaper clippings. I watched him absorb and catalog each piece of clutter, as if I might see the individual wrinkles form inside his skull.
"It's a shit-astrophe in here," he said.
"That your favorite word?"
"How do you find anything?"
"Please, these cases are older than me and colder than Donny. No one gives a rat's patoot about them, except maybe you."
"Things still shit at home, huh?"
"Poor, bad, crappy, buy a thesaurus."
"Guess so," he said. "What were you daydreaming about?"
I let him watch me in silence for a moment, the weight of his gaze pressing against me. I pressed back.
"What are you doing in my office?" I said.
He didn't respond, just gave me a dissatisfied look. The stained bristles of his mustache twitched twice, then went still. His cop-face was on: bland, distant, all business, but I saw an edge of concern tempering his disguise.
"It may not look like much," I said, waving my free hand around the four-by-four square that served as my office. With room only for my miniature desk and the dreaded filing cabinet, I had learned to live within a thicket of boxes. Sure, the door occasionally slammed into my back, and the ceiling fan's blades had been chopped in half to accommodate the floor-to-ceiling box growth. "But it's mine," I finished.
No response.
"Does it say Detective Forest Stephenson on my door?" I said. "No, it says Detective Lucy Santone. Me, mine."
Forest glanced at the paper I had taped to my door. The outline of the old plate could be seen underneath reading, "Detroit Metro Police Department Archives."
Not to be deterred I said, "Look, I got to pee, so if you've nothing important to say, why don't you bug off?"
My partner stared at me, then shrugged. "When you become human again, stop by my office. Drink the coffee." He lifted his mug towards my desk and strolled out.
"That know-it-all," I said to no one, especially not the pretty boy reading in the corner.
Seated with his back propped against the cabinet of doom was the prettiest man I'd ever seen. He stretched his jean-covered legs, so long they extended under my desk and poked out the side, and crossed them at the ankle. Even on one of the chilliest February days on record, he wore battered sandals and a white tee. Sable ringlets, perfectly tousled, crowned his head, and his eyes sparkled like sapphires catching the light. I knew his sun-browned skin would be warm to the touch.
As my eyes passed over him, he glanced up from an old issue of "Car and Driver." A hopeful expression lingered on his face, but I turned my head away.
He wasn't real.
After PERSONAL TIDBIT, I believe my urban fantasy novel, GREEN-EYED MONSTER complete at 80,000 words, may be a good fit for your representation.
Rookie detective Lucy Santone measures everything with the black and white rulebook of the Detroit Metro Police Department. Since the Incident, she also sees demons crawling on suspects, a halo above the cleaning lady, and a stalker-angel who claims to be her Guardian. Denial’s easy until the hallucinations try to kill her.
During an arson investigation, she is attacked by a hellion and wonders if her delusions are all that delusional. She learns the burned property belongs to a non-profit organization headed by Levi Johanneson, a hometown athlete who sold his soul for politics.
Levi's not the only player in town, however, another demon is vying for control over the broken souls of Detroit. Lucy can't fight them both, and when each offers her an alliance, she is forced to make a choice: the citizens she swore to protect, or her own ticket to the pie in the sky. Suddenly the rulebook looks a little gray.
Similar to Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files series, GREEN-EYED MONSTER is a fantastical twist on detective fiction, researched through interviews with police/arson experts and utilizing my degree in Criminal Justice. I have a synopsis for a potential sequel.
The first five pages are included below. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
NAME
CONTACT INFO
SAMPLE PAGES: GREEN-EYED MONSTER
I imagined myself setting fire to the filing cabinet. Crispy carbon falling around my desk, the tan metal contraption belching smoke from mouth-like drawers. Manila folders, crisp eight-by-eleven-inch papers, meticulously labeled photos, and coroner's reports, all burning in a roar of blood-red flames.
A smile spread low and lazy across my face, tugging my cheeks upwards like a gentle lover, when someone kicked my chair.
"Oh sorry, did I wake you?" he said.
I turned to find Forest scrutinizing me with his unnerving gray eyes.
"Unghs," I affirmed.
He sipped from a steaming mug and set an identical one on my desk. Beads of coffee clung to his silver mustache. His hair had once been a ruddy brown, but now was streaked with gray. The 'stache, however, was almost white, suckling at the coffee as if trying to reclaim its youth.
"You look like shit, Luce."
I frowned, cupped my hands around the hot mug, and said, "You look old."
"I prefer wise."
"You look wizened."
Forest snorted. His eyes panned over the chaos of my desk, scanning the folders piled around a jumble of papers, glossy pictures, and newspaper clippings. I watched him absorb and catalog each piece of clutter, as if I might see the individual wrinkles form inside his skull.
"It's a shit-astrophe in here," he said.
"That your favorite word?"
"How do you find anything?"
"Please, these cases are older than me and colder than Donny. No one gives a rat's patoot about them, except maybe you."
"Things still shit at home, huh?"
"Poor, bad, crappy, buy a thesaurus."
"Guess so," he said. "What were you daydreaming about?"
I let him watch me in silence for a moment, the weight of his gaze pressing against me. I pressed back.
"What are you doing in my office?" I said.
He didn't respond, just gave me a dissatisfied look. The stained bristles of his mustache twitched twice, then went still. His cop-face was on: bland, distant, all business, but I saw an edge of concern tempering his disguise.
"It may not look like much," I said, waving my free hand around the four-by-four square that served as my office. With room only for my miniature desk and the dreaded filing cabinet, I had learned to live within a thicket of boxes. Sure, the door occasionally slammed into my back, and the ceiling fan's blades had been chopped in half to accommodate the floor-to-ceiling box growth. "But it's mine," I finished.
No response.
"Does it say Detective Forest Stephenson on my door?" I said. "No, it says Detective Lucy Santone. Me, mine."
Forest glanced at the paper I had taped to my door. The outline of the old plate could be seen underneath reading, "Detroit Metro Police Department Archives."
Not to be deterred I said, "Look, I got to pee, so if you've nothing important to say, why don't you bug off?"
My partner stared at me, then shrugged. "When you become human again, stop by my office. Drink the coffee." He lifted his mug towards my desk and strolled out.
"That know-it-all," I said to no one, especially not the pretty boy reading in the corner.
Seated with his back propped against the cabinet of doom was the prettiest man I'd ever seen. He stretched his jean-covered legs, so long they extended under my desk and poked out the side, and crossed them at the ankle. Even on one of the chilliest February days on record, he wore battered sandals and a white tee. Sable ringlets, perfectly tousled, crowned his head, and his eyes sparkled like sapphires catching the light. I knew his sun-browned skin would be warm to the touch.
As my eyes passed over him, he glanced up from an old issue of "Car and Driver." A hopeful expression lingered on his face, but I turned my head away.
He wasn't real.
Aug 21, 2010
YA Query: A Heart-Shaped Hole
Dear ___________,
Annabelle lives in a daze of deception. She has what many would call the perfect life: rich parents who stay out of her way, a wild group of partygoing friends, and the world practically at her fingertips. At the center of it all is her boyfriend, Emmett, the envy of every girl in school. But Annabelle has a horrible secret: her smile is a lie.
Emmett physically and emotionally abuses Annabelle, slowly turning her into a twisted whirlwind of self-hatred and guilt. Stuck with a family too absorbed in their own petty problems, she has no one to turn to. That is, until she meets Brendon while hiding in the bathroom during a party.
Brendon becomes a shoulder for Annabelle to lean on, always eerily able to see right through her shallow illusion of happiness. He challenges her to find self-worth, open her eyes to her boyfriend's faults, and come to terms with her reasons for staying with Emmett. But Brendon has a secret and Annabelle has a past. These two factors become what may ultimately prevent Annabelle from ever feeling genuine happiness again.
A HEART-SHAPED HOLE is a Young Adult novel complete at 30,000 words. I hope you will consider representation of this manuscript.
Best regards,
Angela A
Annabelle lives in a daze of deception. She has what many would call the perfect life: rich parents who stay out of her way, a wild group of partygoing friends, and the world practically at her fingertips. At the center of it all is her boyfriend, Emmett, the envy of every girl in school. But Annabelle has a horrible secret: her smile is a lie.
Emmett physically and emotionally abuses Annabelle, slowly turning her into a twisted whirlwind of self-hatred and guilt. Stuck with a family too absorbed in their own petty problems, she has no one to turn to. That is, until she meets Brendon while hiding in the bathroom during a party.
Brendon becomes a shoulder for Annabelle to lean on, always eerily able to see right through her shallow illusion of happiness. He challenges her to find self-worth, open her eyes to her boyfriend's faults, and come to terms with her reasons for staying with Emmett. But Brendon has a secret and Annabelle has a past. These two factors become what may ultimately prevent Annabelle from ever feeling genuine happiness again.
A HEART-SHAPED HOLE is a Young Adult novel complete at 30,000 words. I hope you will consider representation of this manuscript.
Best regards,
Angela A
Aug 19, 2010
Query- Seaweeds- Version "hopefully the last"
Click here to read "the undisputed first" version.
Click here to read "the definite first" revision.
Click here to read "the improved upon second" revision.
Click here to read "thanks for the tips I'm making great progress" revision.
Dear AGENT,
An unusual love triangle arises between a young man, a mermaid, and a siren in SEAWEEDS, a contemporary fantasy.
Sky Hunter’s twenty-third birthday brings him a boat party, strange presents, and a hook-up with sexy Melanie. An evening of pleasure turns into a night of survival when Sky falls off the boat and nearly drowns. He winds up on the beach the next morning, disoriented, until he discovers a girl with violet eyes washed up nearby. She can’t speak and has trouble walking. Sky believes the girl is a mermaid who saved him. Her charm and innocence draws him to her; he calls her his Pearl from the ocean. And in a few short days, Sky falls head over heels for her.
He’s not bothered by Pearl’s strange behaviors, such as hitting the car horn whenever they go for a ride or eating all his cat’s sardines. In fact, they make her all the more enjoyable to be around because he never knows what to expect.
There’s just one problem. Melanie is livid about Sky’s new girlfriend and threatens to murder his family if he chooses to stay with Pearl. Sky refuses to give in to Melanie’s threats, certain that he can outsmart her. But when he discovers that Melanie has a secret of her own, he must find a way to resist her enchanted advances long enough to save himself—and Pearl.
SEAWEEDS is The Little Mermaid meets Fatal Attraction. My novel is complete at 66,000 words. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
ME!
Click here to read "the definite first" revision.
Click here to read "the improved upon second" revision.
Click here to read "thanks for the tips I'm making great progress" revision.
Dear AGENT,
An unusual love triangle arises between a young man, a mermaid, and a siren in SEAWEEDS, a contemporary fantasy.
Sky Hunter’s twenty-third birthday brings him a boat party, strange presents, and a hook-up with sexy Melanie. An evening of pleasure turns into a night of survival when Sky falls off the boat and nearly drowns. He winds up on the beach the next morning, disoriented, until he discovers a girl with violet eyes washed up nearby. She can’t speak and has trouble walking. Sky believes the girl is a mermaid who saved him. Her charm and innocence draws him to her; he calls her his Pearl from the ocean. And in a few short days, Sky falls head over heels for her.
He’s not bothered by Pearl’s strange behaviors, such as hitting the car horn whenever they go for a ride or eating all his cat’s sardines. In fact, they make her all the more enjoyable to be around because he never knows what to expect.
There’s just one problem. Melanie is livid about Sky’s new girlfriend and threatens to murder his family if he chooses to stay with Pearl. Sky refuses to give in to Melanie’s threats, certain that he can outsmart her. But when he discovers that Melanie has a secret of her own, he must find a way to resist her enchanted advances long enough to save himself—and Pearl.
SEAWEEDS is The Little Mermaid meets Fatal Attraction. My novel is complete at 66,000 words. I am currently working on a sequel.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
ME!
Query- Eiffel Flower
Dear ________,
Conflicted with looming graduation decisions, sorority girl Rose Jastone makes the most impulsive choice of her meticulously planned life. This perfect juxtaposition of the modern collegian- lively social chair of Delta Delta Gamma, model student, and punk rock enthusiast who can throw on a pair of Chuck's when occasioned- signs up for a spring semester at the Univeristy of Paris, Panthénon-Sorbonne.
Paris, however, turns out to be more than Rose's Philosophy major logic bargained for. Stuck dorming with Noemi Brousarre, a celebutante roommate with a few fifth-life crises of her own, Rose is thrown into a world of Parisian drama that makes sorority life seem like a stroll though le Jardin des Tuleries.
Left mediating the problems of the city around her, Rose wonders if she'll ever bloom into the “Eiffel Flower” Noemi promised, or if she will just wilt in the process. More importantly, will her future reveal itself by the time the clock strikes midnight at the Crillon Ball, or will she be stuck following the life-plan her parents and friends have already constructed for her?
Eiffel Flower is an upper young adult novel, complete at 92,000 words. In the vein of Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy, it is targeted towards the college-aged reader that feels too old for Gossip Girl, but was too young to celebrate the "Sex and the City" finale with Cosmos.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my query.
Sincerely,
__________
Authors Note: Already got one partial request, but the twelve rejections make me think it could used whipped into shape!
Conflicted with looming graduation decisions, sorority girl Rose Jastone makes the most impulsive choice of her meticulously planned life. This perfect juxtaposition of the modern collegian- lively social chair of Delta Delta Gamma, model student, and punk rock enthusiast who can throw on a pair of Chuck's when occasioned- signs up for a spring semester at the Univeristy of Paris, Panthénon-Sorbonne.
Paris, however, turns out to be more than Rose's Philosophy major logic bargained for. Stuck dorming with Noemi Brousarre, a celebutante roommate with a few fifth-life crises of her own, Rose is thrown into a world of Parisian drama that makes sorority life seem like a stroll though le Jardin des Tuleries.
Left mediating the problems of the city around her, Rose wonders if she'll ever bloom into the “Eiffel Flower” Noemi promised, or if she will just wilt in the process. More importantly, will her future reveal itself by the time the clock strikes midnight at the Crillon Ball, or will she be stuck following the life-plan her parents and friends have already constructed for her?
Eiffel Flower is an upper young adult novel, complete at 92,000 words. In the vein of Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy, it is targeted towards the college-aged reader that feels too old for Gossip Girl, but was too young to celebrate the "Sex and the City" finale with Cosmos.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my query.
Sincerely,
__________
Authors Note: Already got one partial request, but the twelve rejections make me think it could used whipped into shape!
Aug 17, 2010
CINDERS- a Blog Book Tour
Attention Slushpile Followers!
Michelle Davidson Argyle, long time friend and supporter of the Slushpile (and designer of the Slushpile logo, and part of the triumvirate behind The Literary Lab) is promoting her novella CINDERS, a continuation of the tale of Cinderella:
Cinderella's happily-ever-after isn't turning out the way she expected. With her fairy godmother imprisoned in the castle and a mysterious stranger haunting her dreams, Cinderella is on her own to discover true love untainted by magic.
The blog tour is a clever way to promote her work, and Michelle is a great writer and a wonderful person, I highly recommend you learn more about the tour and CINDERS. Plus, there are prizes, and winning stuff is way cool, you know?
Click here for her official site, and good luck Michelle!
Michelle Davidson Argyle, long time friend and supporter of the Slushpile (and designer of the Slushpile logo, and part of the triumvirate behind The Literary Lab) is promoting her novella CINDERS, a continuation of the tale of Cinderella:
Cinderella's happily-ever-after isn't turning out the way she expected. With her fairy godmother imprisoned in the castle and a mysterious stranger haunting her dreams, Cinderella is on her own to discover true love untainted by magic.
The blog tour is a clever way to promote her work, and Michelle is a great writer and a wonderful person, I highly recommend you learn more about the tour and CINDERS. Plus, there are prizes, and winning stuff is way cool, you know?
Click here for her official site, and good luck Michelle!
YA query: THE PRACTICE OF WEARING SKIN
Dear agent name,
Sixteen-year-old epic loner Sofia knows she has some lingering issues from being abandoned by her mom a year ago. So when Theo, a total weirdo who calls himself a grim reaper, approaches her and says she has thirty days until she dies, well that’s just freaking awesome. At least there’s one other person in the world that needs therapy more than she does.
If she talks to anyone normal about grim reapers, they won’t remember anything at all, except that Sofia might have a couple of screws loose. They don't remember Theo's name or even what he looks like. In fact, Sofia's choice comes down to dying normally and being remembered, or becoming a grim reaper and letting everyone forget she existed at all too.
Either way, she can’t die yet! She hasn’t even lost her v-card!
Then near the end of her thirty days, Sofia uncovers evidence that her mom might never have abandoned her at all, but that she’s a grim reaper herself. Sofia takes the chance to reconcile with her mom and join Theo, whose British accent, grey eyes, and perfect boy jeans are incentive enough to continue “living” with him as a reaper, but when she makes it to the afterlife, Sofia learns the heartbreaking reason why her mom hasn’t tried to contact her in the last year.
THE PRACTICE OF WEARING SKIN, my YA paranormal romance novel, is complete at 51,000 words.
I am currently an intern for [Redacted] at [redacted]. In 2008, I completed an MA in Creative Writing from Newcastle University in Newcastle upon Tyne, England and have a short story published in Lit by New Writing North in conjunction with Newcastle University. Also, several works have been published in Blackberry Winter, an annual chapbook of Rochester College where I earned my BA in English and Professional Writing.
Thank you for your time and consideration. Per your guidelines, the first _____ pages follow.
All the best,
Cassandra Brown
Writing as C. A. Marshall
Address
phone
http://camarshall.com
Sixteen-year-old epic loner Sofia knows she has some lingering issues from being abandoned by her mom a year ago. So when Theo, a total weirdo who calls himself a grim reaper, approaches her and says she has thirty days until she dies, well that’s just freaking awesome. At least there’s one other person in the world that needs therapy more than she does.
If she talks to anyone normal about grim reapers, they won’t remember anything at all, except that Sofia might have a couple of screws loose. They don't remember Theo's name or even what he looks like. In fact, Sofia's choice comes down to dying normally and being remembered, or becoming a grim reaper and letting everyone forget she existed at all too.
Either way, she can’t die yet! She hasn’t even lost her v-card!
Then near the end of her thirty days, Sofia uncovers evidence that her mom might never have abandoned her at all, but that she’s a grim reaper herself. Sofia takes the chance to reconcile with her mom and join Theo, whose British accent, grey eyes, and perfect boy jeans are incentive enough to continue “living” with him as a reaper, but when she makes it to the afterlife, Sofia learns the heartbreaking reason why her mom hasn’t tried to contact her in the last year.
THE PRACTICE OF WEARING SKIN, my YA paranormal romance novel, is complete at 51,000 words.
I am currently an intern for [Redacted] at [redacted]. In 2008, I completed an MA in Creative Writing from Newcastle University in Newcastle upon Tyne, England and have a short story published in Lit by New Writing North in conjunction with Newcastle University. Also, several works have been published in Blackberry Winter, an annual chapbook of Rochester College where I earned my BA in English and Professional Writing.
Thank you for your time and consideration. Per your guidelines, the first _____ pages follow.
All the best,
Cassandra Brown
Writing as C. A. Marshall
Address
phone
http://camarshall.com
Short Story Query: Horror
Dear Ms. Baker,
After a long week at the office, it’s finally Friday and the last thing on Finn’s mind is a zombie attack. He’s on beer number two and it’s not even 6 p.m. yet. With the sun still shining and the entire weekend staring him in the face, nothing can get him down. Not even the perpetual struggles a real estate agent faces in a recession.
Suddenly, he sees a man in a clean grey suit stumble out of the shadowy woods bordering the far end of his large backyard. At first, Finn thinks it’s one of his neighbors, but as the man shambles ever closer there is no doubt about it... It’s a real life flesh-eater. Just like in the movies. Knowing this is the beginning of a new war with the undead, Finn hastily grabs his shotgun from the hall closet and eliminates the slowly approaching threat. Standing over the stranger’s fallen body, he knows they will need food, gas and more weapons to survive the outbreak of rotting corpses. And fast.
However, when police quickly respond to his wife’s 911 call and find the man’s head completely blown off, it’s hurriedly labeled as a murder, and an unforgiving justice is swift to follow. Perhaps too swift. As every uprising has to have a beginning, every cadaverous mutiny has to have a first kill.
I have spent the last twelve years writing commercials and entertainment bits for five different radio stations in four states. I actually had this story happen to me three Fridays ago and just like Finn, no one believes me. FIRST KILL is 5,000 words and ready to be sent at your request. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Paul Thomas
Address
Phone
E-mail
After a long week at the office, it’s finally Friday and the last thing on Finn’s mind is a zombie attack. He’s on beer number two and it’s not even 6 p.m. yet. With the sun still shining and the entire weekend staring him in the face, nothing can get him down. Not even the perpetual struggles a real estate agent faces in a recession.
Suddenly, he sees a man in a clean grey suit stumble out of the shadowy woods bordering the far end of his large backyard. At first, Finn thinks it’s one of his neighbors, but as the man shambles ever closer there is no doubt about it... It’s a real life flesh-eater. Just like in the movies. Knowing this is the beginning of a new war with the undead, Finn hastily grabs his shotgun from the hall closet and eliminates the slowly approaching threat. Standing over the stranger’s fallen body, he knows they will need food, gas and more weapons to survive the outbreak of rotting corpses. And fast.
However, when police quickly respond to his wife’s 911 call and find the man’s head completely blown off, it’s hurriedly labeled as a murder, and an unforgiving justice is swift to follow. Perhaps too swift. As every uprising has to have a beginning, every cadaverous mutiny has to have a first kill.
I have spent the last twelve years writing commercials and entertainment bits for five different radio stations in four states. I actually had this story happen to me three Fridays ago and just like Finn, no one believes me. FIRST KILL is 5,000 words and ready to be sent at your request. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Paul Thomas
Address
Phone
Query - RAINGUN (sixth revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.
Click here to read the fifth revision.
A hard choice looms ahead for Rick Rivoire.
Last year he joined the Rainguns, an elite regiment of spellcasting cavalry. Since then, he's protected the people of Foverre from pirates, monsters, and foreign invasion. He's attained social status, financial independence, and confidence with women. Most precious of all, he's matured. He’s stopped wallowing in bitter childhood memories.
But Foverre is shifting its policies now, embracing slavery and religious persecution. Public discontent grows until civil war becomes inevitable. Joining a rebellion could land Rick on a prison ship, in slave-irons --- or on the same gallows where he watched his father hang.
The alternative looks no brighter. The status quo imperils Rick’s hard-won self-respect. Supporting tyranny would doom his quest to emulate the valiant swordswoman who rescued him at age nine from torture and worse.
The army has no room for fence-sitters. Can Rick keep defending a government he once admired, though its actions now disgust him? Or will he risk all he's achieved to chase justice?
This fantasy novel is Raingun. The era, musket and pike. It has about 90,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.
Click here to read the fifth revision.
A hard choice looms ahead for Rick Rivoire.
Last year he joined the Rainguns, an elite regiment of spellcasting cavalry. Since then, he's protected the people of Foverre from pirates, monsters, and foreign invasion. He's attained social status, financial independence, and confidence with women. Most precious of all, he's matured. He’s stopped wallowing in bitter childhood memories.
But Foverre is shifting its policies now, embracing slavery and religious persecution. Public discontent grows until civil war becomes inevitable. Joining a rebellion could land Rick on a prison ship, in slave-irons --- or on the same gallows where he watched his father hang.
The alternative looks no brighter. The status quo imperils Rick’s hard-won self-respect. Supporting tyranny would doom his quest to emulate the valiant swordswoman who rescued him at age nine from torture and worse.
The army has no room for fence-sitters. Can Rick keep defending a government he once admired, though its actions now disgust him? Or will he risk all he's achieved to chase justice?
This fantasy novel is Raingun. The era, musket and pike. It has about 90,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Aug 15, 2010
Sample Pages- Between by Cyndi Tefft
Click here to read the query.
Ravi’s lips were soft and familiar against mine, but my mind was elsewhere, obsessing about my upcoming finals. “Lindsey, you are so beautiful,” he said, pressing me tighter against the seat of the car. His mouth trailed over my jaw to my neck, his breath warm in my ear.
“I love you”, he whispered.
That snapped me back to reality.
Damn. I liked Ravi, I really did, but not as much as he liked me. The kissing was nice, but I didn’t feel IT, the connection, the zing. The L word? Damn, damn, damn! I had to say something but I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Truthfully, he was my best friend. He’d helped me study for my French exam, even though he couldn’t speak a word of the language. When I’d told him about my parents’ divorce, he’d held me while I cried. He made up silly songs on the piano just to make me laugh. I did love him, in a way. Just not that way.
“Ravi…”
“You know what, never mind. Just forget I said anything, okay?” His voice was tight with embarrassment.
“No, really, it’s just…”
He jerked away and turned the key in the ignition, his lips pressed in a hard line. The engine roared to life. “It’s alright,” he said finally and flicked on the high beams. “It’s no big deal. Let’s just go.”
Fat droplets of rain splattered on the windshield and built into a steady drumming on the roof. The swish of the wipers and the hum of the heater echoed in the chasm between us and I struggled to think of a way to alleviate the tension. Ravi switched on the radio to an oldies station. “You Are So Beautiful” came on and I squirmed in my seat, remembering how Ravi had just said those very words to me.
“So-” I began.
“Hey-” he said at the same time.
We both stopped and a nervous giggle escaped me. Still, it was enough to break the silence and the knot in my gut relaxed.
“I was going to tell you, Micah and I are thinking of starting a band,” Ravi continued, his voice nonchalant. “I met this guy, Todd, in my Physics class who plays drums. With Micah on the guitar, all we’d need would be a lead singer. Would you be interested?”
“Really? Me?” I asked.
“Sure, I’ve heard you sing. You have a great voice.”
“Thanks,” I replied. I loved to sing, though I’d never been in a band before. I’d been in choir all through high school, but hadn’t ever sung a solo. A thrill ran through me at the idea of being on stage with the music thumping and colored lights swirling, while a throng of fans bounced to the beat below. “It sounds fun,” I said, already starting to dance in my seat at the thought. “When should we practice? Do you have any songs picked out?”
The highway was deserted and we hadn’t seen another car pass by us for miles. Ravi turned his head and smiled at me, giving minimal attention to the familiar road. “Yeah, Micah and I have a couple of…”
“Look out!” I yelled.
His eyes snapped forward and he slammed on the brakes. The sedan in front of us was creeping along and we came screaming up behind it. I recoiled in fear as the car started to hydroplane, the tires sliding across the slick asphalt. Ravi wrenched on the steering wheel and pumped the brakes, trying to regain control. The treads suddenly found purchase and sent us careening into the other lane. The stiff seatbelt cut into my neck as I was tossed against the door.
I was vaguely aware of Joe Cocker’s raspy voice crooning as we rammed into the other vehicle. The impact reverberated through my head, and from somewhere in the distance, I heard myself screaming in terror. Panic gripped the base of my neck, every muscle pulled taut with fear. The headlights flung streaks of light like fireworks in the driving rain as we spun out of control, then the tires found something to grab onto and we went sailing off the roadway.
The car hung in mid air and bile rose in my throat, then the hood smashed into the ground. My forehead smacked against the dash and I bit my tongue hard, the coppery taste of blood filling my mouth. Screeching metal and breaking glass echoed in concert with sickening thuds as the Mustang tumbled down the ravine. I was whipped upside down and Ravi’s body floated over mine as the car rolled, his face contorted in fear.
I couldn’t call out to him or even will myself to move, the centrifugal force alternately keeping me pressed against the door or yanking me against the biting restraint of the seatbelt. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I was aware it was my turn for the next impact. The blood froze in my veins. The trunk of the pine tree outside my window beckoned to me with relentless persistence. The metal car door wrapped around me in an unforgiving embrace, squeezing the air from my lungs.
Query - The End Begins
Dear XXXXX,
The end of the world might be coming, but not how we expected.
The people are suffering through the worst downturn in humanities history; aliens of all kinds are invading and taking over, plotting secret wars as the last superpowers of the world hang on trying to prevent what could be the Last war for the human race.
And yet there is a glimmer of hope in all this despair.
The End Begins, a Christian inspired epic sci-fi/fantasy story, follows Rai and her company who are, by fate, brought together to stop the conclusion of the End of Days by protecting the Artifact of Knowledge that may save or destroy them all. But enemies on all sides are coming and would-be allies sit back and watch as the event unfolds.
Do they have what it takes to complete the task against odds so great?
The End Begins, a 119,912 word novel seeks to compete in the Christian sci-fi market and stands apart not only by balancing the overall Sci-fi/fantastical and religious tones, similar to popular and uniquely epic titles like China Mieville’s Perdido Street Station and Terry Brook’s Shannara series, we’ll see Rai’s evolution from a fish-out-of-water sorceress who must cope with real world issues while trying to find her biological roots as she manages a retired soldier of valor, a priest past his prime, a rebellious mechanic, a wanting assassin, and a young lost traveler. All of them journey to save themselves through struggles both physical and emotional.
I’ve seen that your publishing house has published [insert works] and I think I would be a great fit for your roster of products. The End Begins is part one of a two part book series, the second is nearing completion of its first draft. Sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
The end of the world might be coming, but not how we expected.
The people are suffering through the worst downturn in humanities history; aliens of all kinds are invading and taking over, plotting secret wars as the last superpowers of the world hang on trying to prevent what could be the Last war for the human race.
And yet there is a glimmer of hope in all this despair.
The End Begins, a Christian inspired epic sci-fi/fantasy story, follows Rai and her company who are, by fate, brought together to stop the conclusion of the End of Days by protecting the Artifact of Knowledge that may save or destroy them all. But enemies on all sides are coming and would-be allies sit back and watch as the event unfolds.
Do they have what it takes to complete the task against odds so great?
The End Begins, a 119,912 word novel seeks to compete in the Christian sci-fi market and stands apart not only by balancing the overall Sci-fi/fantastical and religious tones, similar to popular and uniquely epic titles like China Mieville’s Perdido Street Station and Terry Brook’s Shannara series, we’ll see Rai’s evolution from a fish-out-of-water sorceress who must cope with real world issues while trying to find her biological roots as she manages a retired soldier of valor, a priest past his prime, a rebellious mechanic, a wanting assassin, and a young lost traveler. All of them journey to save themselves through struggles both physical and emotional.
I’ve seen that your publishing house has published [insert works] and I think I would be a great fit for your roster of products. The End Begins is part one of a two part book series, the second is nearing completion of its first draft. Sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Query- Between
Lindsey Waters never spent much time thinking about death. It’s not that things were so rosy, given her parents’ bitter divorce, the pressure of finals, and a figure that was more blob than beauty. But whatever she expected, it wasn’t the handsome young Scotsman who appeared at her side the night she died in a car accident.
Aiden MacRae has been transporting souls from earth to heaven for the last 300 years, while he waits for the one whose love will redeem him. He introduces Lindsey to the realm in between where they relive memories together in vivid detail: the brutal Jacobite rebellion of 1719 that led to Aiden’s death, a ball at the Palace of Versailles before King Louis XIV, and even an outing to Seattle in the 21st century.
But even as she’s falling for him, heaven’s siren song is intensifying, pulling Lindsey away. Aiden is unable to go with her, for reasons he is unwilling to divulge.
When she is revived at the scene of the accident, Lindsey is left to pick up the pieces of her old life and find out if love really can transcend all boundaries.
Between, a YA crossover novel, is complete at 80,000 words. Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my work. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Cyndi Tefft
Aiden MacRae has been transporting souls from earth to heaven for the last 300 years, while he waits for the one whose love will redeem him. He introduces Lindsey to the realm in between where they relive memories together in vivid detail: the brutal Jacobite rebellion of 1719 that led to Aiden’s death, a ball at the Palace of Versailles before King Louis XIV, and even an outing to Seattle in the 21st century.
But even as she’s falling for him, heaven’s siren song is intensifying, pulling Lindsey away. Aiden is unable to go with her, for reasons he is unwilling to divulge.
When she is revived at the scene of the accident, Lindsey is left to pick up the pieces of her old life and find out if love really can transcend all boundaries.
Between, a YA crossover novel, is complete at 80,000 words. Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my work. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Cyndi Tefft
Aug 6, 2010
Query- Reluctant Queen
Dear Super Agent,
Nitokerty never wanted to be Pharaoh. Until her brother was murdered.
The gods have turned their backs on Egypt: the harvests are poor, the Pharaoh weak, and the nobility grown too powerful. As the Pharaoh’s youngest (and most spoiled) daughter, Nitokerty is forced to serve the temples in an attempt to appease the gods. But they have other plans for her.
Nitokerty returns to court when her father dies and falls in love with Anum, a mysterious courtier. When her older sister dies in childbirth, custom dictates Nitokerty must marry her brother. Anum secretly plots to overthrow her brother and has him murdered. When her brother is assassinated, Nitokerty seizes the Double Crown to seek revenge, not knowing the traitor is Anum, the man she thought she loved. Her final act of revenge guarantees her name will be remembered by history.
Inspired by a single line from the histories of Herodotus, RELUCTANT QUEEN is the story of one of Egypt’s only female Pharaohs. It is historical fiction complete at 85,000 words.
I am a history teacher who has traveled to Egypt twice, in order to better tell Nitokerty’s story. I have completed a second novel set in ancient Egypt and am currently at work on another on the Byzantine Empire.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Nitokerty never wanted to be Pharaoh. Until her brother was murdered.
The gods have turned their backs on Egypt: the harvests are poor, the Pharaoh weak, and the nobility grown too powerful. As the Pharaoh’s youngest (and most spoiled) daughter, Nitokerty is forced to serve the temples in an attempt to appease the gods. But they have other plans for her.
Nitokerty returns to court when her father dies and falls in love with Anum, a mysterious courtier. When her older sister dies in childbirth, custom dictates Nitokerty must marry her brother. Anum secretly plots to overthrow her brother and has him murdered. When her brother is assassinated, Nitokerty seizes the Double Crown to seek revenge, not knowing the traitor is Anum, the man she thought she loved. Her final act of revenge guarantees her name will be remembered by history.
Inspired by a single line from the histories of Herodotus, RELUCTANT QUEEN is the story of one of Egypt’s only female Pharaohs. It is historical fiction complete at 85,000 words.
I am a history teacher who has traveled to Egypt twice, in order to better tell Nitokerty’s story. I have completed a second novel set in ancient Egypt and am currently at work on another on the Byzantine Empire.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Aug 5, 2010
Query- Haven, YA (Revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Scar thought she was normal, that was before she was deemed too dangerous to fit into normal society – it’s not her fault her mother got a little too close to a vampire – and suddenly, she’s whisked away to a reform school for witches, werewolves and vampires.
As if surviving a paranormal reform school wasn't bad enough, Scar learns the hard way that breaking a witch's Frisbee can really piss him off, challenging a werewolf to a foot race is a bad idea – especially if you want to live, vampires hold serious grudges equipped with mean left hooks and sometimes the hardest secrets to keep are the most deadly.
Especially, if that secret is your own. Scar is the vilest creature that could ever exist – half-human.
When students begin to disappear, Scar starts seeing visions of the attacks. If that wasn't strange enough, a mysterious incriminating video surfaces placing Scar at one of the crime scenes, making her the prime suspect. Now she must race to prove her innocence before her true nature is exposed.
The only problem is that she’s not entirely sure she’s innocent.
Scar thought she was normal, that was before she was deemed too dangerous to fit into normal society – it’s not her fault her mother got a little too close to a vampire – and suddenly, she’s whisked away to a reform school for witches, werewolves and vampires.
As if surviving a paranormal reform school wasn't bad enough, Scar learns the hard way that breaking a witch's Frisbee can really piss him off, challenging a werewolf to a foot race is a bad idea – especially if you want to live, vampires hold serious grudges equipped with mean left hooks and sometimes the hardest secrets to keep are the most deadly.
Especially, if that secret is your own. Scar is the vilest creature that could ever exist – half-human.
When students begin to disappear, Scar starts seeing visions of the attacks. If that wasn't strange enough, a mysterious incriminating video surfaces placing Scar at one of the crime scenes, making her the prime suspect. Now she must race to prove her innocence before her true nature is exposed.
The only problem is that she’s not entirely sure she’s innocent.
Query- Emma's Heaven, Contemporary Women's Fiction (revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Thanks for everyone's help.
There’s only one thing Megan wants: to find her missing daughter. When she does, no one believes her.
After her two-year old daughter walked out of their front door and disappeared in the space of a few moments, Megan’s world crumbled. In the two years since, there have been tons of sightings – all by Megan herself. But no one believes her. After all, why should they? The child was never Emma. Her husband, counselor, her own mother and even Megan herself, fear she’s delusional.
However, at the local town fair, Megan sees her. Holding hands and laughing with an elderly couple. Her daughter: Emma. Megan can’t reach them, and the only trace she’s left with is a photo she manages to snap before they vanish. The police feel she’s cried wolf too many times.
Unable to handle the constant heartache of all the false sightings, Megan’s husband threatens to walk away. But Megan isn’t willing to give up. Armed with only a photo and motherly instinct, Megan questions whether she's closing in on the people who took her child, or if she's giving up everything to chase an illusion.
Thanks for everyone's help.
There’s only one thing Megan wants: to find her missing daughter. When she does, no one believes her.
After her two-year old daughter walked out of their front door and disappeared in the space of a few moments, Megan’s world crumbled. In the two years since, there have been tons of sightings – all by Megan herself. But no one believes her. After all, why should they? The child was never Emma. Her husband, counselor, her own mother and even Megan herself, fear she’s delusional.
However, at the local town fair, Megan sees her. Holding hands and laughing with an elderly couple. Her daughter: Emma. Megan can’t reach them, and the only trace she’s left with is a photo she manages to snap before they vanish. The police feel she’s cried wolf too many times.
Unable to handle the constant heartache of all the false sightings, Megan’s husband threatens to walk away. But Megan isn’t willing to give up. Armed with only a photo and motherly instinct, Megan questions whether she's closing in on the people who took her child, or if she's giving up everything to chase an illusion.
Aug 4, 2010
REMEMBERING YOU -- women's fiction third revison (and hopefully the last?)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Returning home to Bristol, Rhode Island for the annual Fourth of July parade for the first time in ten years, Genna is excited to share the great news about her fantastic promotion (a goal she’s been working toward all her life) as executive kitchen manager of a swanky Delaware country club. She isn’t home five minutes before trouble starts when she sees Tony, her ex-fiancé, at her uncle’s diner. Although everyone says he’s no good, Genna can’t see through her memories clearly enough to discern if they’re right.
Problems escalate as Genna discovers her aunt may have Alzheimer’s and no one in the family wants to deal with it; one cousin is hysterical, another completely shuts down, and in the midst of all this, her beloved uncle has a heart attack.
Genna finds keeping her uncle’s diner open during the busiest time of the year is more than just hard work, it has always been in her blood and she questions if she should give up her fantastic new job offer to stay in Bristol and take care of her family and the diner.
Tony is also pushing her to stay but when little Petie DiCampo appears, all grown up and looking like a calendar boy, she wonders if he could be the man to finally get her over Tony. But Tony isn’t giving up that easily.
Genna figures out all the answers to her family’s problems before she goes back to Delaware. She also decides living without love is not in her future, the problem is; which man will she choose?
REMEMBERING YOU is a completed work of women’s fiction at 87,000 words.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Returning home to Bristol, Rhode Island for the annual Fourth of July parade for the first time in ten years, Genna is excited to share the great news about her fantastic promotion (a goal she’s been working toward all her life) as executive kitchen manager of a swanky Delaware country club. She isn’t home five minutes before trouble starts when she sees Tony, her ex-fiancé, at her uncle’s diner. Although everyone says he’s no good, Genna can’t see through her memories clearly enough to discern if they’re right.
Problems escalate as Genna discovers her aunt may have Alzheimer’s and no one in the family wants to deal with it; one cousin is hysterical, another completely shuts down, and in the midst of all this, her beloved uncle has a heart attack.
Genna finds keeping her uncle’s diner open during the busiest time of the year is more than just hard work, it has always been in her blood and she questions if she should give up her fantastic new job offer to stay in Bristol and take care of her family and the diner.
Tony is also pushing her to stay but when little Petie DiCampo appears, all grown up and looking like a calendar boy, she wonders if he could be the man to finally get her over Tony. But Tony isn’t giving up that easily.
Genna figures out all the answers to her family’s problems before she goes back to Delaware. She also decides living without love is not in her future, the problem is; which man will she choose?
REMEMBERING YOU is a completed work of women’s fiction at 87,000 words.
Query - Hidden in Shadows
I would love for you to consider HIDDEN IN SHADOWS, a 96,000-word urban fantasy romance novel.
Lorna McCloud is an assassin hell bent on avenging her father's murder only she has no leads. Soon she has more important issues to deal with than whether to use a dagger or a gun to kill her next target.
First, she's captured by the Paranormal Intelligence Agency, a shady, clandestine organization. A PIA henchman tells Lorna that she has the ability to create and hide in artificial shadows, a power she had unknowingly used during her nightly killings. Lorna distrusts the agency, and manages to escape.
Then Lorna heads to a small island where many of her potential clients want the king dead. Lorna hasn't felt the stirrings of love in a long time, but something about the noble Alaric makes her long for the light after her lifetime spent in shadow.
Torn between murder and love, Lorna has never been able to escape her past or her ardent desire for revenge, and now they may prevent her from her only chance of living a normal, happy life.
I am the author of a medieval fantasy romance series, The Kingdom of Arnhem – Woman of Honor (2009) and Knight of Glory (2010) published with Desert Breeze Publishing. I have also sold six short stories for anthologies, two of which are under the pen name Nicolette Zamora.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Lorna McCloud is an assassin hell bent on avenging her father's murder only she has no leads. Soon she has more important issues to deal with than whether to use a dagger or a gun to kill her next target.
First, she's captured by the Paranormal Intelligence Agency, a shady, clandestine organization. A PIA henchman tells Lorna that she has the ability to create and hide in artificial shadows, a power she had unknowingly used during her nightly killings. Lorna distrusts the agency, and manages to escape.
Then Lorna heads to a small island where many of her potential clients want the king dead. Lorna hasn't felt the stirrings of love in a long time, but something about the noble Alaric makes her long for the light after her lifetime spent in shadow.
Torn between murder and love, Lorna has never been able to escape her past or her ardent desire for revenge, and now they may prevent her from her only chance of living a normal, happy life.
I am the author of a medieval fantasy romance series, The Kingdom of Arnhem – Woman of Honor (2009) and Knight of Glory (2010) published with Desert Breeze Publishing. I have also sold six short stories for anthologies, two of which are under the pen name Nicolette Zamora.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Query- Emma's Heaven - Women's Fiction
There’s only one thing Megan wants: to find her missing daughter. Then when she does, no one believes her.
When her two-year old daughter walked out of their front door and disappeared in the space of two minutes, Megan’s world crumbled. In the two years since, there have been tons of sightings – all by Megan herself. But no one believes her. After all, why should they? Not once was the child she saw her daughter. Her husband, her counselor, her own mother and even Megan herself, fear she’s delusional. But then, at the local town fair, Megan sees her. Holding hands and laughing with an elderly couple. Her daughter, Emma. Megan can’t reach them, and the only trace she’s left with is a photo she managers to snap before they vanish. The police feel she’s cried wolf too many times.
Unable to handle the constant heartache of all the false sightings, Megan’s husband threatens to walk away from their marriage. But Megan isn’t willing to give up. Armed with only a photo and mother instinct, Megan risks her marriage and sanity to pursue the girl in the photograph. As she pieces together the disorienting trail, Megan begins to question whether she's closing in on the people who took her child, or if she's giving up everything to chase an illusion.
Thanks everyone for your help.
When her two-year old daughter walked out of their front door and disappeared in the space of two minutes, Megan’s world crumbled. In the two years since, there have been tons of sightings – all by Megan herself. But no one believes her. After all, why should they? Not once was the child she saw her daughter. Her husband, her counselor, her own mother and even Megan herself, fear she’s delusional. But then, at the local town fair, Megan sees her. Holding hands and laughing with an elderly couple. Her daughter, Emma. Megan can’t reach them, and the only trace she’s left with is a photo she managers to snap before they vanish. The police feel she’s cried wolf too many times.
Unable to handle the constant heartache of all the false sightings, Megan’s husband threatens to walk away from their marriage. But Megan isn’t willing to give up. Armed with only a photo and mother instinct, Megan risks her marriage and sanity to pursue the girl in the photograph. As she pieces together the disorienting trail, Megan begins to question whether she's closing in on the people who took her child, or if she's giving up everything to chase an illusion.
Thanks everyone for your help.
Query- The Hunted of 2060 (revised)
Click here to read the original query.
HERE IS A RE_WRITE THANKS TO COMMENTS. Please let me know if I am any closer:)
The Hunted of 2060
Paranormal ChickLit with a side of SciFi
85,000 words
America 2060. Three Lovers. Two Species. One Way to Survive.
An original, dark paranormal chick-lit with a side of sci-fi. Nineteen year old April discovers the secrets within herself are the very secrets that are being hunted by a group dubbed the Rogue Militia. As April uncovers that she is a mixed of human and alien DNA, she finds herself on a dangerous path of self-discovery, belonging to a hybrid species on the verge of extinction.
At University, Robert, the love of her life, is put at risk as she struggles with who she was and who she is becoming, while a hybrid family she never knew existed enters her life, a hybrid male pursues her, and her existence becomes a cat and mouse game with enemies she will have to outrun, outfight or outwit to survive. Under General Raul, the military has no mercy for a foreign species that invaded earth in 2020 and when April realizes the General has secrets of his own, which have robbed her of her birth mother, grandfather and involve stolen hybrid DNA, she knows she must save more than herself or the world will fall into the hands of a madman.
With underlining themes of how prejudice breaks human connections and a theme of wildlife conservation, April speaks to the core of what makes us human. Fans of Gena Showater's 'Teen Alien Huntress', and Maggie Steifvarter's 'Shiver', as well as fans of the movie 'Cursed' starring Josh Jackson, and fans of Keri Arthur's Riley Jenson series will enjoy this Hunted of 2060 series.
HERE IS A RE_WRITE THANKS TO COMMENTS. Please let me know if I am any closer:)
The Hunted of 2060
Paranormal ChickLit with a side of SciFi
85,000 words
America 2060. Three Lovers. Two Species. One Way to Survive.
An original, dark paranormal chick-lit with a side of sci-fi. Nineteen year old April discovers the secrets within herself are the very secrets that are being hunted by a group dubbed the Rogue Militia. As April uncovers that she is a mixed of human and alien DNA, she finds herself on a dangerous path of self-discovery, belonging to a hybrid species on the verge of extinction.
At University, Robert, the love of her life, is put at risk as she struggles with who she was and who she is becoming, while a hybrid family she never knew existed enters her life, a hybrid male pursues her, and her existence becomes a cat and mouse game with enemies she will have to outrun, outfight or outwit to survive. Under General Raul, the military has no mercy for a foreign species that invaded earth in 2020 and when April realizes the General has secrets of his own, which have robbed her of her birth mother, grandfather and involve stolen hybrid DNA, she knows she must save more than herself or the world will fall into the hands of a madman.
With underlining themes of how prejudice breaks human connections and a theme of wildlife conservation, April speaks to the core of what makes us human. Fans of Gena Showater's 'Teen Alien Huntress', and Maggie Steifvarter's 'Shiver', as well as fans of the movie 'Cursed' starring Josh Jackson, and fans of Keri Arthur's Riley Jenson series will enjoy this Hunted of 2060 series.
Aug 2, 2010
Contest Alert!
Attention Slushpile followers:
Julie Cross, a long-time Slushpile follower (who I think holds the record for the most submissions ;-) is co-sponsoring a contest, and among the prizes are query and page critiques from an actual agent, an editor, and others in the publishing industry.
NOTE: "others in the publishing industry" is my way of saying "interns and assistants" but is NOT meant to belittle their professional opinions! They know what their agents like.
Julie's novel TEMPEST (once titled ENEMIES OF TIME) has been sold, resulting in a 3-book deal! She is represented by agent Suzie Townsend of FinePrint Lit.
Check Julie's blog for details, and good luck.
Julie Cross, a long-time Slushpile follower (who I think holds the record for the most submissions ;-) is co-sponsoring a contest, and among the prizes are query and page critiques from an actual agent, an editor, and others in the publishing industry.
NOTE: "others in the publishing industry" is my way of saying "interns and assistants" but is NOT meant to belittle their professional opinions! They know what their agents like.
Julie's novel TEMPEST (once titled ENEMIES OF TIME) has been sold, resulting in a 3-book deal! She is represented by agent Suzie Townsend of FinePrint Lit.
Check Julie's blog for details, and good luck.
QUERY - "Ever" YA Paranormal
Dear ______,
Waking up in a coffin hungry for blood is only the beginning for sixteen-year-old Everly Blue. Things are about to get a lot worse.
First, she finds out from the hot guy who dug her up that she’s a vampire. Well, half vampire, not that there’s much difference.
Then she meets her maker…Devon, the thousand-year-old vampire who turned her into a monster. He gives her a shred of hope – kill 100 vampires to save her humanity.
So with the help of Chance (the hottie who saved her, and who she’s falling for fast), Ever sets out to get her life back.
But it won’t be easy. She has to deal with her feelings for Chance, her hatred for Devon, some new-found vampire hunting friends and that pesky taste for blood that just won’t leave her alone.
In the end, Ever faces a battle – and a decision – that will change her life forever.
My young adult novel, EVER, is complete at 70,000 words. I think fans of supernatural hits like TWILIGHT and VAMPIRE ACADEMY will enjoy this story of a girl thrown into a life of danger and romance. The full manuscript is available, should you be interested.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Waking up in a coffin hungry for blood is only the beginning for sixteen-year-old Everly Blue. Things are about to get a lot worse.
First, she finds out from the hot guy who dug her up that she’s a vampire. Well, half vampire, not that there’s much difference.
Then she meets her maker…Devon, the thousand-year-old vampire who turned her into a monster. He gives her a shred of hope – kill 100 vampires to save her humanity.
So with the help of Chance (the hottie who saved her, and who she’s falling for fast), Ever sets out to get her life back.
But it won’t be easy. She has to deal with her feelings for Chance, her hatred for Devon, some new-found vampire hunting friends and that pesky taste for blood that just won’t leave her alone.
In the end, Ever faces a battle – and a decision – that will change her life forever.
My young adult novel, EVER, is complete at 70,000 words. I think fans of supernatural hits like TWILIGHT and VAMPIRE ACADEMY will enjoy this story of a girl thrown into a life of danger and romance. The full manuscript is available, should you be interested.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Aug 1, 2010
Query- The Hunted of 2060
The Hunted of 2060
Paranormal Sci-Fi Romance
85,000 words
America 2060. Three Lovers. Two Species. One Way to Survive.
An original, dark paranormal, sci-fi romance about a nineteen year old sophomore who discovers the secrets within herself are the very secrets that are being hunted by a group dubbed the Rogue Militia.
As April uncovers that she is in fact a hybrid mixed with human and alien DNA, she finds herself on a dangerous path of self-discovery, belonging to a species on the verge of extinction. At Alaska University, Robert, the love of her life, is put at risk as she struggles with who she was and who she is becoming, while a hybrid family she never knew existed enters her life, a hybrid male pursues her, and her existence becomes a cat and mouse game with enemies she will have to outrun, outfight or outwit to survive.
Under General Raul's orders, the military alliance has no mercy or compassion for a foreign species that invaded earth in 2020 and when April realizes the General has secrets of his own, which have robbed her of her birth mother, grandfather and involve stolen hybrid DNA, she knows she must save more than herself or the world will fall into the hands of a madman.
With the help of her grandfather, Colonial Marn, and the family of hybrids, April eventually destroys General Raul and the Shifter Counterinsurgency Military within homeland Security, the alliance the hybrids dubbed the Rogue Militia, after much sacrifice and loss. Though in the end, April and Robert are finally free of the Rogue Militia, and a new life is born from April's womb, the two realize in the wake of public suspicion and prejudice, destroying the Rogue Militia was just the beginning.
With underlining themes of how prejudice breaks human connections and a theme of animal/wildlife conservation, this novel will leave the reader flipping through the pages of April’s story. Though a hybrid, she speaks to the very core of what makes us human.
Fans of Gena Showater's 'Teen Alien Huntress', and Maggie Steifvarter's 'Shiver', as well as fans of the movie 'Cursed' starring Josh Jackson, and fans of Keri Arthur's Riley Jenson series will enjoy this Hunted of 2060 series.
The prequel and sequel are being written.
http://amiblackwelder.com
MARKETING:
I am active online with Forums: facebook, blogger, freado, reading groups, kindle boards, Bitten By Books Blood Bank, Permuted Press, Author Supporting Authors Ning, Paranormal Romance, SFX Magazine, Gothic.net.
I have also created freado interactive previews, excerpts, character descriptions, quotes to display on various online sites.
I have created fun quizzes to get to know the characters better and displayed them on blogger and facebook.
I am a member of the Virtual Book Tour and have lined up for me about twenty blogs where I will be interviewed over May/June/July.
I have actively pursued review blogs and ezines and have been accepted and my reviews will be displayed over June, July and August.
I have advertising space on Coalition for Independent Authors, Bareback ezine, Virtual Book Tours Cafe, Bitten By Books, Book Cubby, Catch the Drift with Mama Snow Blog, and am actively pursuing other advertising venues.
I have FREE posters advertised on my blog and on scribed where fans may download the free poster .pdf
I am also listed online with various public publication services such as scribed, smashwords, lulu to spread the word.
I have book giveaways on the VBT (Virtual Book Tour), facebook and locally as well as sending a few books out to celebrities/directors/producers monthly.
I have my own facebook page for The Hunted of 2060 Fans.
Began my own 'forum' for discussion about The Hunted.
Began my own Merchandise online for The Hunted.
Offline I am advertising posters, bookmarks and business cards to spread the word for those interested in purchasing online as well as offer prints locally for those interested in direct purchases.
Paranormal Sci-Fi Romance
85,000 words
America 2060. Three Lovers. Two Species. One Way to Survive.
An original, dark paranormal, sci-fi romance about a nineteen year old sophomore who discovers the secrets within herself are the very secrets that are being hunted by a group dubbed the Rogue Militia.
As April uncovers that she is in fact a hybrid mixed with human and alien DNA, she finds herself on a dangerous path of self-discovery, belonging to a species on the verge of extinction. At Alaska University, Robert, the love of her life, is put at risk as she struggles with who she was and who she is becoming, while a hybrid family she never knew existed enters her life, a hybrid male pursues her, and her existence becomes a cat and mouse game with enemies she will have to outrun, outfight or outwit to survive.
Under General Raul's orders, the military alliance has no mercy or compassion for a foreign species that invaded earth in 2020 and when April realizes the General has secrets of his own, which have robbed her of her birth mother, grandfather and involve stolen hybrid DNA, she knows she must save more than herself or the world will fall into the hands of a madman.
With the help of her grandfather, Colonial Marn, and the family of hybrids, April eventually destroys General Raul and the Shifter Counterinsurgency Military within homeland Security, the alliance the hybrids dubbed the Rogue Militia, after much sacrifice and loss. Though in the end, April and Robert are finally free of the Rogue Militia, and a new life is born from April's womb, the two realize in the wake of public suspicion and prejudice, destroying the Rogue Militia was just the beginning.
With underlining themes of how prejudice breaks human connections and a theme of animal/wildlife conservation, this novel will leave the reader flipping through the pages of April’s story. Though a hybrid, she speaks to the very core of what makes us human.
Fans of Gena Showater's 'Teen Alien Huntress', and Maggie Steifvarter's 'Shiver', as well as fans of the movie 'Cursed' starring Josh Jackson, and fans of Keri Arthur's Riley Jenson series will enjoy this Hunted of 2060 series.
The prequel and sequel are being written.
http://amiblackwelder.com
MARKETING:
I am active online with Forums: facebook, blogger, freado, reading groups, kindle boards, Bitten By Books Blood Bank, Permuted Press, Author Supporting Authors Ning, Paranormal Romance, SFX Magazine, Gothic.net.
I have also created freado interactive previews, excerpts, character descriptions, quotes to display on various online sites.
I have created fun quizzes to get to know the characters better and displayed them on blogger and facebook.
I am a member of the Virtual Book Tour and have lined up for me about twenty blogs where I will be interviewed over May/June/July.
I have actively pursued review blogs and ezines and have been accepted and my reviews will be displayed over June, July and August.
I have advertising space on Coalition for Independent Authors, Bareback ezine, Virtual Book Tours Cafe, Bitten By Books, Book Cubby, Catch the Drift with Mama Snow Blog, and am actively pursuing other advertising venues.
I have FREE posters advertised on my blog and on scribed where fans may download the free poster .pdf
I am also listed online with various public publication services such as scribed, smashwords, lulu to spread the word.
I have book giveaways on the VBT (Virtual Book Tour), facebook and locally as well as sending a few books out to celebrities/directors/producers monthly.
I have my own facebook page for The Hunted of 2060 Fans.
Began my own 'forum' for discussion about The Hunted.
Began my own Merchandise online for The Hunted.
Offline I am advertising posters, bookmarks and business cards to spread the word for those interested in purchasing online as well as offer prints locally for those interested in direct purchases.
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