Apr 23, 2009

Query: The Saving Race

Dear Agent,

Nick Sanchez has just arrived in hell. And he didn’t have to die to get there; he simply accepted a temporary Bureau assignment in Northern Idaho.

Sprague, Idaho—a backwoods town with bad weather—is exactly how Nick envisions hell. But the only burning he feels is in the pit of stomach, stemming from the frustration of three dead-end investigations. The keys to his salvation are within sight, but illusively beyond his grasp. One comes in the form of a perky blonde cashier at the local grocery store. The other comes with the prospect that he may have stumbled upon the most abhorrent cult of the twenty-first century.

Three women have gone missing from Sprague within three consecutive years, and the FBI has sent Special Agent Nick Sanchez to investigate. When Nick discovers the common factor in all three cases, he begins to scrutinize dormant white supremacist factions in the area. What he finds is beyond shocking: a prominent author has turned his controversial books into a doomsday cult promoting beliefs in Nordicism and polygamy. Nick is about to break the biggest case of his career—if he can prove that the missing women have been inducted into the cult of Nordica. But Nordica mastermind Pierce Crawford seems to outwit and outmaneuver Nick every step of the way. Nothing—especially an intrusion by someone with dark skin—will stop Pierce from preparing his cult for the imminent Armageddon. Pierce shrewdly strikes at Nick and all that is close to his heart. Nick will come to question his instincts, his impartiality, and his future at the Bureau. But even more troubling to Nick than a major career derailment is the fact that his misjudgments may cost the only woman he’s ever loved her life.

The Saving Race is a 104,000 word romantic mystery. I am confident with my finished product, as it is certainly the best of my three completed novels. While The Saving Race does stand alone, I am now working on its sequel. I am excited with the prospect of The Saving Race entering the market in the near future, as many of the elements adapted by the cult of Nordica are taken from current headlines.

Thank you for your consideration.



Query - Traitor's Plight

A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.

Dear Agent,

For generations the Kings of Mudamora had exiled the kingdom’s criminals to the mountains west of the Zaltana wall. Thousands of men and women were condemned by their liege and abandoned by the gods to die in the cold. The damned have found their own god, though, and instead of dying they have survived, flourished, and now march under the command of the witch queen Rufina to conquer those who persecuted them.

Lord Captain Rhys Calorian was born to the power and privilege of nobility, all of which were lost the night the Zaltana wall fell to the subterfuge of a lone female assassin. Five years later he is the sole survivor of that night, desperate to regain his honor and achieve his birthright of military command. Instead he finds himself captain of the Princess’s bodyguards and living in the midst of the women who form it.

Drusilla was raised by a wealthy patrician senator in an empire far across the seas. Under attack within the first moments of returning to her homeland of Mudamora, she discovers that a power has arisen within her when she restores Rhys from a mortal injury and is forced to suffer the physical pain that results. The power proves to be an unwelcome one, as all healers are bound to the mad King’s failing army and destined to suffer in their servitude. Alone in an unfamiliar kingdom and desperate to keep her power a secret, Drusilla agrees to join the ranks of the Princess’ bodyguards and unwittingly finds herself drawn into a love affair with Rhys.

With the capital under threat of attack, Rhys is given command of a suicide mission to stop Rufina’s exile army, while Drusilla finds herself entangled in web of political intrigue. Bound by oaths to protect a royal family plagued by madness, she is forced to put her love, liberty and even her life at risk in order to avoid a war of ascendancy that would leave Mudamora ripe for Rufina’s picking.

TRAITOR’S PLIGHT is a 106,000 word fantasy with a strong romantic element, and is the first volume in a trilogy. I have a Bachelor of Commerce degree from the University of XYZ and this is my first novel. I would be happy to send you the complete manuscript at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration.



Query - Andra

Dear Mr. Agent,

Claudia meant to save her best friend, but she ended up saving the nation.

In Claudia’s world there are lots of laws, as well as a few unspoken rules that everyone knows. If you have a powerful ability – keep it a secret, even from your friends and family. And if you have an opinion on how things are being run – don’t say it.

So when Claudia’s best friend, Selma, announces that she can converse with plants, Claudia isn’t surprised when Selma is arrested on orders of the government. Though that doesn’t mean she’s going to let them get away with it.

After a chance meeting with the ruler’s second son, Erik, the rescue mission turns into an opportunity to overthrow the corrupt government. After suffering years of imprisonment at his father and brother’s hands, Erik is more than ready to join the rebellion along with Selma and Claudia.

The journey leads to self-discovery when Claudia discovers she can control others by force, giving the rebels the extra edge they need to be victorious. But Claudia has another reason for the rebellion to succeed: she’s in love with Erik, the very man they hope to crown. If the rebels can’t win this time, Claudia will lose the man she loves and the world will lose what could be its last chance to escape oppression.

ANDRA is a young adult fantasy novel complete at 80,000 words and set in the fictional world of Sicyon. The manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,


Excellent Agent Post on Query Letters

Jessica Faust at BookEnds, LLC has an excellent post today about query letters. Click here to read it (and you really should! If you read it already, read it again. It's worth it.)

- Rick