Feb 10, 2011

Query- Assassin's Redemption REv. 3

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

Dear Agent,

Death goes by many names, but one of them is Etienne de Villaine.

An angelic assassin by profession, Etienne and his wife Nel run a business hunting demons, fallen angels, and mortal scum who escape human justice. Using guns, knives, and poisons they administer the only effective solution to the vermin of the world—death. But when another assassin murders the leaders of Israel, Iran, Turkmenistan, and the Ukraine, Etienne must shift from assassin to savior and hunt down the killer in order to avoid a world war.

Etienne sets a trap using the president of Russia as bait, but the mysterious assassin anticipates the ambush. While the president survives, Nel is injured and the assassin escapes. However, the assassin’s identity is no longer a mystery. His name is Munkar, Etienne’s brother who went insane with bloodlust a thousand years ago.

Etienne and Nel return to their Chicago home, so Nel can recover, but Munkar follows them, intent on revenge. Etienne stumbles on Munkar while he lunches at a restaurant and tries to talk sense to him, but Munkar responds by vowing to start Armageddon and kill Etienne. His attempt to kill Etienne fails, but that only drives him to expand his worldwide killing spree. Etienne realizes Munk’s massacres are meant to draw him out, daring him to a death duel. But the final nail into the coffin of motivation comes when Munk threatens Nel. Etienne must head off world annihilation and protect Nel, but stopping his brother may cost one of them their souls.

I am seeking representation for my 91,000 word supernatural thriller, ASSASSIN’S REDEMPTION. Professionally, I am a molecular biologist employed by a biotechnology company. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely yours,


Dear Agent,

Seth was good at following the rules. He obeyed his parents, performed his nightly vows, and observed the laws in the World Book with pride – until he met Kinessa.

Seth’s world is turned upside down as Kinessa challenges him to question everything he believes in. He neglects his readings, plays on the beach and explores the woods in his backyard for the first time. Eventually Kinessa leaves, but she confronts him with a choice – go back to your previous life or come with me.

The friends embark on an adventure to change the three Kingdoms. But as Seth follows Kinessa on her quest to destroy the World Book he soon learns that change is never as easy as it seems.

World Book is a completed 32,000 word fantasy for middle grade readers. I have one published short story in Byline Magazine.

Thank you for your time and consideration. If you are interested feel free to contact me by phone or email.




Anyone willing to read the first few pages? I'll be glad to post them here.


Click here to read the original query.

Dear Agent,

At 26 Laura Armstrong can’t escape death. Her parents were burned alive, her best friend’s throat was ripped out and her boss’s head was blown off in her lap. And she doesn’t know why. Could the evil man who chases her in nightmares be the killer? Then there’s the man in black who watches her from afar. His mysterious notes tell her she must use her special powers to save herself as she is next, leaving Laura with more questions than answers.

Could it all be connected to the meteor that hit her hometown lake nearly 30 years ago? Ben Fieldstone thinks so. He was there the night his parents were crushed under it. Laura finds him there when she visits the lake, searching for answers. Drawn to one another, they discover they are bound by fate, confirmed by the man in black who reveals Laura’s true identity and the secret about the meteor – and that the man who wants her dead is part of her destiny too.

With the killer closing in fast, Laura decides she must fight him alone using her special powers to save them. But if they survive can destiny redirect itself and can Laura give her heart to Ben if he knows what she really is?

I am seeking representation of my first novel, A HUMAN ELEMENT, a 120,000-word commercial mainstream dark novel. I would appreciate the opportunity to send you the entire manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.