Mar 6, 2010


*I've changed the story a bit since the last time I was here, so I had to start over with my query. Thanks in advance for your comments and advice*

You can search for the original query, but since this is more of a fresh start I'm not adding the links to the top like I do with most revisions.
- Rick

The why I picked you paragraph.

Atlanta vampires are a gentler breed than most, but that is not true for the out-of-towners that are flocking to the downtown hotels for this year’s annual DragonCon. The vamps use this opportunity to take off their disguises while blending in with the costumed humans, but there are rules and Adam Bristow, forensics biologist by trade and vampire slayer by design, is there to enforce them and to keep the vampires’ existence secret.

Meanwhile, straight-laced, Felicity Johnson, is looking forward to an escape from the norm. And DragonCon, the convention that celebrates everything science fiction and fantasy, is the perfect prescription. Throw in a scrumptious attorney named Blake, and she’s landed in her own gothic paradise. However, Felicity gets an overdose of adventure when she stumbles upon one friend’s mangled body immediately after her best friend vanishes.

Felicity is introduced into the dark world of vampires when the leader of Bristow’s team and her new crush, Blake, offers to help Felicity find her missing best friend, leading her down a road that could leave her either dead or with the ultimate makeover, one that cannot be undone without a stake to the heart.

Iron Thirst is a 90,000 word urban fantasy told through the eyes of both Felicity and Bristow, inviting the reader into the dark world of the vampire while Felicity slowly discovers that things are not as they seem.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Absorption (second revision)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

Dear Agent X:

At first Brett Johnson is convinced that the hive mind is a malignant entity intent on devouring humanity. Enraptured by the strange beauty he discovers, he must determine if war is unnecessary, or if he’s been tricked and seduced himself.

Major Johnson is sent to deliver an ultimatum. The planet Oceania must abandon the nanotechnology that links individual brains into a supermind or prepare for war. To demonstrate that the Federalist Worlds are not merely driven by fear and ignorance, he reluctantly agrees to learn to use the technology himself, without completely joining the overmind.

During negotiations he rashly seduces a beautiful woman, hoping to distract her from the hive mind he believes may destroy her. With her help he learns more about Oceania than his superiors could have imagined – but begins to question what he’s been told. Is the hive mind truly an entity seeking to absorb humanity – or a collaborative tool enabling people to perform superhuman feats of intellect?

He can only find out by becoming part of the supermind. If he was right all along and no individual can ever leave, he will never know what he’s lost – and those who hear his report may not understand until it’s too late. If his doubts are correct, it may well be too late to convince his superiors, and the home world of the woman he comes to love may be wracked by a devastating and unnecessary war.

Absorption is an 80,000 word science fiction novel. I received my Masters of Library Science from the State University of New York at Albany.

Grateful Regards,

David Weisman